Making My Gf Cum

Making My Gf Cum

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Rhalou is a Digital Editor specialising in health and wellness across Hearst’s titles, covering everything from sexual health to parenting.

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The 10-step guide to mastering the art of female pleasure
Hoping to impress a new partner, spice up your sex life, or simply bank some useful tips for the future? Irrespective of your relationship status, if you’re a man and you like having sex with women, then at some point in your life you will no doubt have asked the question, how do you make a girl cum?
Spoiler alert! Before we get started, we need to bust a few myths. While you can technically ‘help’ a woman reach climax, it is not your sole responsibility to make her cum, so don’t feel like you have to head into battle armed with all of the secrets to the sexual universe to hit the jackpot.
Partnered sex is a two-way street and you’re in this together, so you need to work as a unit to both reach a mutually pleasurable destination. With this in mind we've put together a few tips on mastering the art of female pleasure...
According to research the average time it takes a woman to reach orgasm is 13.41 minutes, so in theory 15 minutes is an achievable goal. But if your partner takes longer to climax during sex – or doesn't cum at all – do not be dismayed. Self-esteem, performance anxiety, fatigue and stress are just some of the lifestyle factors that can impact a woman’s ability to orgasm. There's no one size fits all approach to sex tips and every woman is different, so focus on the journey and not the destination. Provided you’re both having fun, you won’t notice the clock anyway.
Some women find sex toys such as clitoral vibrators can help them to climax, while others don't like the idea on principle. Once you've established if she is keen to give gadgets a whirl, go sex toy shopping. There are many different types, so choosing one together could be a fun part of the foreplay. We’ve rounded up our favourites below to give you a head start.
While everyone loves a fumble in the dark, sex doesn’t need to be a guessing game. Give yourself a head start and ask her to tell you, or even better, show you, how she likes to be touched. If you can learn to communicate your desires it will make the entire process much easier, not to mention sexier. Every woman has different turn-ons. Some prefer direct clitoral stimulation, while others might like G-spot play or using a sex toy to climax (we highly recommend this clit stimulator ). The best way to find out what turns your girl on is to talk about it!
Leave any preconceptions about sex you’ve picked up from watching RedTube at the door. While porn might turn YOU on, it is rarely designed with female pleasure in mind. In reality women are complex, nuanced individuals and no two people are the same, so resist the urge to suggest a gang-bang and focus on enjoying the moment.
While there are no hard and fast rules about who goes first, when you’re first getting started it makes sense to focus on your partner’s pleasure first. Women tend to take slightly longer to hit the high notes, whereas chaps can achieve this quicker, so it’s an efficient use of time, plus it’s polite. But if you do get overexcited and blow your load , don’t stress. Simply start again, with her pleasure at the forefront of your mind.
Most women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. If you need a heads up, here's how to find her clit.
What works for one woman might be uncomfortable for another, so while these steps may well help your partner to climax, don't forget to check in with her. Use our tips as a guideline to work with your partner to create a safe and sensual space where arousal (and orgasms) ebb and flow.
Fantasy, anticipation and expectation are all part of the process, so take your time. ‘Foreplay is so important as it gets you in the mood in general and ensures you’re connected, but it also leads to maximum arousal for both parties,’ says Julia Margo, Co-founder at Hot Octopuss .
Start with a kiss! Studies by Lafayette College in the US found that kissing reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, quickening the time it takes to turn you both on. As you pay lip service, tilt your head to the right – scientists in Germany found this makes you seem more caring, flooding her system with the ‘connection’ chemical oxytocin, building trust and encouraging her to relax.
After a few minutes of passionate kissing, move your lips down to her neck. William Cane, author of The Art of Kissing , surveyed 50,000 women and 96 per cent picked a peck on the neck as the perfect warm-up, so kiss and nibble her neck for a few minutes. But don’t overdo it, Cane says. ‘Slide off the lips to her neck occasionally so that her neck doesn’t become desensitised.’
Now you need to get co-ordinated. Each time you go in for a kiss, remove an item of her clothing too. Getting naked is important for obvious reasons, but showing enthusiasm at the sight of her body will also boost her self-esteem. A study by the University of Cincinnati revealed that if your girl feels good when she’s naked, she’s more likely to climax. Try complimenting each part of her body as you undress her. Your approval will make her feel good and get you one step closer to the goal.
When she’s down to her underwear, pause for a few seconds. ‘Stroke and caress her through the fabric rather than going for gold,’ says sex therapist Paula Hall. ‘Focus on building anticipation rather than going straight for direct stimulation.’ Feeling like we’re in a rush can actually slow things down and impede a woman’s chances of reaching orgasm , so take your time and tantalise her for a few moments longer.
‘When the vulva is aroused or stimulated it produces a natural lubricant, and the clitoris actually becomes engorged as blood flows to it,’ explains Margo. But if the juices aren’t flowing, don’t stress. Some women take a little longer to get going, so it’s worth keeping a bottle of lube close at hand. Research carried out by the US Association for Chemical Reception Sciences found that the aroma of strawberries alerts the senses, so squeeze a few pumps of strawberry-scented lube onto your fingers before slipping them gently into her knickers for some fruity fun.
Now it’s time to get the party started. ‘Try inserting one finger into her vagina while pressing your thumb against her clitoris,’ says Margo. ‘Rub both finger and thumb firmly but gently in a circular motion. If that feels tricky, try a clitoral vibrator . Hold it against her clitoris with one hand and with the other, gently thrust two fingers in and out of her vagina.’ But remember to keep checking in with her. Some women aren't that keen on penetrative sex toys, and you won't know this unless you ask.
According to sexologists at the Masters & Johnson Institute, cunnilingus is the most reliable route to orgasm for 80 per cent of women, so now that she’s turned on, get down there and lick it good. For best results, ‘run your tongue over the clitoral hood and the sides of the clitoris - taking note of your partner's responses,’ says Margo.
When you start doing something that creates a positive response, keep doing it, at exactly the same speed and pressure, and resist the urge to try anything new. ‘Some women hate too much chopping and changing of techniques,’ says Dr Joni Frater, co-author of Love Her Right: The Married Man's Guide to Lesbian Secrets for Great Sex. ‘It distracts us and takes our arousal back to the starting blocks.’
If things are slow to progress, try being more animated. Make appreciative noises and cup her bum while you suck and lick her clitoris. When you start to feel her pre-orgasmic contractions (often coupled with gasps of pleasure) you’ll know you’re in the right place.
‘Build up the tempo, focusing on the bud of the clitoris until your partner explodes!’ says Margo. ‘Alternatively, you can use a clitoral sex toy,’ she adds. ‘A finger vibe is perfect as you can easily rest your hand on her vulva and let the toy buzz her to orgasm.’
And if she still doesn't climax? That's OK. Cuddle her, stroke her, talk to her and count your lucky stars you got the chance to get naked with her in the first place.

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Lane Moore is an award-winning comedian, actor, writer, and musician based in New York City.

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"During foreplay I tell them to slow down, and not just pound into me. I tell them to go deeper and pay attention to the clitoris."
Female orgasms are a mystery to many — even women themselves who aren't having them and don't know how to. In this week's Sex Talk Realness , Cosmopolitan.com spoke with four anonymous twentysomething women about their experiences with making themselves come and helping the men they sleep with figure it out.
How old were you when you first had sex?
How old were you when you first had an orgasm?
Woman A: 15. I didn't have an orgasm the first time I had sex though. My partner at the time helped me climax eventually through oral sex. He was a bit older than me and was not a virgin, but very gentle and made sure I was comfortable.
Woman B: 20. I think I was finally able to come because of who I was with and how much more comfortable I was with him than with anyone previously. Plus, we tried new positions and I was just more experienced in general by then.
Woman C: 17. I actually didn't come the first time I had sex. I'd only had an orgasm via masturbating before I'd had sex with anyone.
Woman D: 18. My first orgasm happened while I was masturbating, using a vibrator. I wasn't able to come the first time I had sex though.
What percentage of the time you're getting intimate do you have an orgasm?
Woman C: I always orgasm while masturbating, but if I'm having sex with men, I have an orgasm maybe 5 percent of the time. It's extremely rare that I have an orgasm with a male partner. If I'm having sex with a woman, I probably orgasm about 30 percent of the time.
Woman D: During partner sex I orgasm about 10 percent of the time. While masturbating, it's about 95 percent of the time.
Is it easier for you to have an orgasm while masturbating, during oral sex, or during penetrative sex?
Woman A: If I had to rank them, it's easiest for me to come via masturbation, followed by oral sex, and then penetrative sex. It's all relative though since I almost never have an issue achieving an orgasm. When it comes to masturbation, I can achieve multiple orgasms within a very short period of time because I do it so often. Oral sex is great, but it's far better if I am on top. Penetrative sex is also very enjoyable and I can almost always orgasm if I am on top. With certain positions, such as doggy style with clitoral stimulation, I can achieve both an internal and external orgasm. Those are great, but after that I am usually ready to cuddle and nap.
Woman B: It's much easier for me to have an orgasm while masturbating with a vibrator. I also orgasm about 90 percent of the time with oral sex, but the best orgasms come from intercourse with me on top.
Woman C: It's definitely easier for me to come while masturbating. I know my own body really well and it's easier to respond to my own needs than tell another person what they are.
Woman D: It's about 1000 times easier for me to orgasm during masturbation. I've never orgasmed strictly from penetration, even though guys seemed to think I would. I adore really good oral sex, especially when they put their fingers inside me as well. However, I have a really hard time reaching orgasm just from oral because I feel like it takes me too long, and I start to feel bad that my partner is working so hard for so long. I also usually squirt when it's really good and I worry about my partner's well-being when I'm squirting in their face.
Have you ever had multiple orgasms?
Woman A: Yes. During solo play I can have about five orgasms in ten minutes.
Woman B: Yes, with oral sex as foreplay, then intercourse after.
Woman C: Yes, usually whenever I masturbate, but like I said, it's even more likely to happen when I'm using a vibrator.
Woman D: I'm not sure, so I guess I haven't.
Have you ever had nipple-only orgasms?
Woman A: Sort of. I was on top of my boyfriend and we weren't grinding, but there was the gentle pressure from his package. He was using his hands to stimulate my nipples and I had one of the best orgasms.
Woman B: Yes, I have. Sometimes my guy bites my nipples and licks them and I'll have an orgasm, but it doesn't feel as great as a regular orgasm.
Woman C: No, I really don't think my nipples are sensitive enough for that to happen.
Woman D: Nipple play doesn't really do much for me, so I've never had a nipple-only orgasm, sadly.
Do you feel comfortable giving guys tips to help you have an orgasm?
Woman A: Yes, I do. Usually, they are completely up for being taught. I did have one partner that was slightly discouraged when I tried to give him advice. Fortunately, after I explained that it wasn't so much about him doing something wrong as much as it was about what I liked we were in sync.
Woman B: I usually have no problem telling guys what helps me orgasm, because I usually date them for a while and am comfortable with them before we have sex. They've all been completely fine with it.
Woman C: Depends on who I'm with. I find that it's a lot easier to tell women what you'd like them to do because they tend to be a lot more understanding. Guys will sometimes get offended or hurt. My current partner is super great about this because he always listens to whatever I tell him.
Woman D: While I was single, I had no problem giving the guys I was hooking up with a little direction in terms of where to go and what to do. I think it's much easier for a man to take sex advice once you've been having sex with them regularly, instead of just that one time. When I've tried to give a one night stand a little advice they seemed to take it as an insult to their sexual abilities. I've been with my boyfriend for about 3.5 years now and we've also had some general conversations about what gets me off. That was helpful.
Do sex toys help your chances of orgasm? Which ones are most useful?
Woman A: They definitely help me to orgasm more quickly. I prefer the little eggs or silver bullets for clitoral stimulation. I've tried those rabbit-style vibrators that penetrated and had clitoral stimulation, but they were awkward to use and I ended up just using the clitoral stimulator part.
Woman B: I'm way more likely to have an orgasm if I use them. I usually just use a vibrator.
Woman C: Yes, I'm definitely more likely to have an orgasm with a vibrator when I masturbate. I can orgasm using my fingers too, but I'm more likely to have multiple orgasms if I'm using a vibrator. I use a small $6 bullet vibrator that I got off of Amazon.
Woman D: I really enjoy powerful bullet-type vibrators and they definitely make it easier to come. I've also tried rabbit vibrators, but I don't think there's enough clitoral stimulation in those.
Have you ever tried using that toy with a partner?
Woman A: I've only done that one time and we just played with the bullet toy after having a few drinks. It was fun for both of us, though I think I remember him saying that the vibration was weird for him and he wasn't a fan. We had a great sex life without adding anything else to it so we never tried that again.
Woman B: I have tried it with boyfriends and they all really liked being able to watch me orgasm from the vibrator. We'd usually also have sex after.
Woman C: Yes, but my current partner prefers not to use it. I think he finds it insulting and emasculating. Female partners are generally much more accepting about using toys in bed, usually because they understand how difficult it can be to orgasm.
Woman D: My boyfriend is fully aware of the vibrators I own, but I don't incorporate them into sex. I know it would hurt his feelings and I'd rather experience the physical closeness of sex with another human being and not get off than getting off with a vibrator alone.
What else have you tried to orgasm better or more frequently?
Woman A: Sometimes I'll raise and slightly release my pelvic floor during an orgasm, which definitely intensifies the experience! It also works really well during solo or oral play. Also, I found that squeezing my inner thigh muscles really intensifies the experience.
Woman B: I almost always have to be on top to orgasm and my guy has to be pretty deep inside me, but I found I come more easily when he pushes into me from underneath and is leaning back on his elbows.
Woman C: Buying a vibrator was really all I needed. That helped a lot.
Woman D: I'm very quick to tell my partner when a certain position feels better than another. I also take note of what previous partners have done that worked well for me and tell my current partners to try that.
What do you do when a guy can't give you an orgasm?
Woman A: I think it's OK if he can't give me an orgasm in the beginning because we're just getting to know each other, but after that it needs to be addressed. If we're just messing around, I will gently guide his hand to the right spot or simply verbalize what I'd like for him to do. I'll usually say "try this" or "go up or down" or
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