Make Her Asshole Bleed
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Q&A: What causes bleeding & pain from your butt?
Pierre-Cédric Crouch, PhD, ANP-BC answers our burning questions about butt pain. Here’s what to do if you notice pain, swelling or blood.
Douchie brings butt health & happiness out of the closet so you can care for your butt in the way it deserves.
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Maybe you’ve had this happen before: You wipe your butt and notice red streaks on the toilet paper. Or you wipe up after bottoming and you see blood on the towel. What’s going on?
Bleeding and pain can be symptoms of something minor like hemorrhoids to something more serious like lymphogranuloma venereum (LGV). To learn more about what to do if you experience bleeding from your butt, I asked San Francisco AIDS Foundation director of nursing Pierre-Cédric Crouch, PhD, ANP-BC, ACRN some “burning” questions I had.
Pierre: You can bleed for a lot of different reasons. It could be something as simple as hemorrhoids or an anal fissure ( get the details on anal fissures ). But other things can make you bleed too: genital warts, ulcers, herpes, even having a painful bowel movement. You can also get bloody discharge from lymphogranuloma venereum (LGV).
Pierre: LGV is a sexually transmitted bacterial infection that is caused by a type of chlamydia bacteria. It’s more common in men than women, and people who are living with HIV seem to be more likely to get it. When you get tested for chlamydia, your test would be positive if you have LGV but your provider would have to order a special test to see if it’s LGV. You don’t need to test specifically for LGV if you aren’t having any symptoms.
Because the infection affects the lymphatic system, it can cause swelling and redness in the groin area and drainage through the skin from the lymph nodes in the groin. It can also affect the lymph nodes around your butt if you have anal sex, and you might experience bloody discharge from your butt.
Pierre: Absolutely. We treat LGV with antibiotics. If you have symptoms, the treatment lasts for three weeks (which is longer than we treat other types of chlamydia).
Pierre: Hemorrhoids are swollen veins that happen inside the rectum or on the anus. Straining when you poop can cause them, as can anal sex. Sometimes they are not serious and go away on their own. But sometimes they don’t go away—in those cases, you can get them treated.
I know some healthcare providers take the position that if your butt functions, it’s fine. They think ‘who cares what your butt looks like if you’re able to use it?’ But that view doesn’t support the health and happiness of people who bottom. Having a pretty butt is important!
Pierre: Yes—anal sex can be another cause of pain and bleeding. No matter what you do if you bottom, if your partner is really rough, it’s going to hurt. Or if you haven’t bottomed in a long time, and you don’t take enough time to loosen yourself up, you can tear or strain a muscle. And that can cause bleeding.
Pierre: If you have painful rectal bleeding, talk to your healthcare provider ! I think people may delay seeking care because they are embarrassed or don’t want to talk about their butt. You have to remember that healthcare providers are used to hearing about this kind of stuff. Nothing is going to shock us. We’re here to help you feel and be healthy.
Douchie brings butt health & happiness out of the closet so you can care for your butt in the way it deserves. Get info about everything from douching to fissures with this series on all things anal. Visit sfaf.org/butthealth .
San Francisco AIDS Foundation is a California nonprofit public benefit corporation which has been granted tax exempt status under Internal Revenue Code section 501(c)(3). Our Federal EIN is 94-2927405 and our California corporation number is C1241510.
© 2022 San Francisco AIDS Foundation. All Rights Reserved
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Sophie Saint Thomas is a writer based in Brooklyn originally from the U.S. Virgin Islands. Along with SELF, her writing is published in GQ , Playboy , VICE , Cosmopolitan , Forbes , Allure , Glamour , Marie Claire , High Times , Nylon , Harper’s Bazaar , Refinery29 , and more. Brooklyn Magazine included her on their annual 2016 30 Under... Read more
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Being a proud member of the anal sex fan club is fun for so many reasons. One is that I get to do things like investigate anal-sex-induced bleeding for you, dear reader. Trust me when I say I understand how alarming it can be.
As a queer woman who dates people of all gender identities, I love that anal pleasure is something most interested people can enjoy regardless of orientation, gender, or genitals . Anal also just feels really excellent for me. But nothing jolts me out of post-anal bliss like a little bit of butt bleeding.
For my own peace of mind and that of anyone else who’s experienced this (or is considering trying anal), I talked to experts to find out if bleeding after anal sex is ever okay. Overall, the answer is pretty reassuring.
“Blood from the anus after anal sex may occur,” Thomas P. Sokol , M.D., a colorectal surgeon at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles, tells SELF. This is due to the basic anatomy of the anus and rectum . (Once you insert something past your anus, it makes itself at home in your rectum, the final portion of your large intestine.)
The lining of the anus and rectum are very thin, according to the CDC . This lining can tear easily under pressure, like the kind that happens during anal penetration or when you strain to poop . These tears, known as anal fissures, can cause bright red blood , pain, and even visible cracks in the skin around your anus, according to the Mayo Clinic .
Beyond that, it’s important to remember that unlike the vagina, the anus isn’t self-lubricating . Without sufficient lubrication—which might be a lot more than you’d imagine—those fragile tissues are even more prone to tearing and bleeding.
Anal penetration can also irritate hemorrhoids you may not even realize you have, Dr. Sokol says. Hemorrhoids are essentially cushions of blood vessels inside and outside of your anus, according to the Mayo Clinic . They typically arise due to increased pressure on the lower rectum, which can happen for a variety of reasons. Take pregnancy , for example. The weight gain can add stress to that portion of your body. Hormone fluctuations in pregnancy can also make it feel nearly impossible to poop , which can lead to bearing down, which can then lead to hemorrhoids. Interestingly, the Mayo Clinic points out that anal sex can create enough pressure to cause hemorrhoids, too.
You might think you’d definitely know if you had a hemorrhoid, but sometimes they don’t cause symptoms until something irritates them...like a dildo/finger/penis/whatever (safe) object you put into your butt. Since hemorrhoids are piles of blood vessels, bright red blood is a common sign of this issue. You might also experience pain, itching and irritation, and anal swelling, according to the Mayo Clinic.
One way to do this is by trying some anal play on your own time, without a partner. “It’s really important to know your body,” Kelly Wise , Ph.D., an LGBTQ-friendly sex therapist based in New York City, tells SELF. To put it simply, understanding what your anus can handle may prevent you from going too big too soon with a partner or not using enough lube. Both of these are common reasons for anal tears and discomfort.
If you have no idea where to begin, here are a few suggestions. Overall, the goal is to do what feels good, comfortable, and exciting for you. This is a general guide for experimenting with anal, not a hard-and-fast sequence of steps to which you must adhere. The only exception is the hygiene-related advice, which you should definitely follow to stay as safe and sanitary as possible.
First, wash your hands thoroughly before playing around with your butt. Let’s avoid any jalapeño/genital interactions or similar mishaps, people. Be sure to wash your hands before switching from anal play to touching your vulva or vagina, too. That will help you avoid the transfer of bacteria that can cause an infection like a UTI or bacterial vaginosis .
Since we’re on the subject of your hands, make sure your nails aren’t dangerously sharp or jagged, either of which could land you in anal-fissure territory. Take a quick second to file ‘em down if necessary.
After washing your hands, Wise recommends starting by gently touching your anus and the surrounding area to get used to the sensation. Once that feels good and comfortable and you’re ready for more, try inserting an extremely lubed up pinky finger into your anus, bit by bit.
There’s basically no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal play, especially when you’re first giving it a go. Silicone lubes are often great for anal penetration as they tend to last a long time. However, if you’re using a silicone toy, opt for a water-based lube, as silicone can degrade silicone. (We’ll discuss the right type of lube to use during anal play with a partner in a bit.)
If you like the sensation of a pinky finger and are curious about exploring further, you can try inserting another (similarly lubed up) finger, then another if that’s something you want to try. But remember that this progression doesn’t all need to happen on the same day—or ever, even. You don’t need to force yourself past your limits for any reason. Your anus has a ton of nerve endings , so if you feel pain, that’s your body sending you a message that you either might want to prepare more before pushing forward, or you might want to stop altogether.
If you’ve experimented with a few fingers and would like to try something bigger, butt plugs are a great next step. Always make sure any plug you use has a flared base to keep it from slipping inside your body. If you’re looking for a beginner butt plug, here’s a handy list .
If you’re comfortable with your fingers and butt plugs, you might be ready to move onto penetration with a partner. This should be someone you trust enough to listen to every single direction you give them when it comes to making anal a pleasant and safe experience for you. It’s perfectly OK to request that they go half-centimeter by half-centimeter, pause after each movement so you have a chance to breathe, or just stay still so you can get used to the sensation. Whatever you need is fine.
Just like when you play around with anal on your own, you need to prepare your butt when you’re with a partner. Your anus simply cannot go from zero to 60 without time to warm up. That progression might look different with a partner than it does on your own. But whatever you landed on by yourself can give you a good working knowledge of what your body needs to feel ready.
Of course, we also need to talk about safety with a partner. Since the anus and rectum can be prone to tearing, unprotected receptive anal sex makes it easier to contract sexually transmitted infections such as HIV , the CDC explains. Unless you are in a fluid-bonded relationship (meaning you are choosing to forego protection because you’ve both been tested recently and know one another’s STI status), you should practice safe sex. If your partner has a penis, that means using an external condom when they penetrate you anally (or vaginally, for that matter).
You should also use a condom on a sex toy going inside your anus if your partner intends to use it as well or if there’s a chance it might touch your vulva or vagina. Be sure to change the condom before sharing it or putting it anywhere besides your anus.
Finally, when it comes to matters of slickness, never use an oil-based lube with latex condoms (or dental dams). The oil can break down the latex and render your safe-sex method less effective.
Sometimes even the best preparation in the world won’t stop a little anal bleeding. I know this firsthand. It’s just how my body reacts to anal sex sometimes, regardless of how much groundwork I lay in advance.
If you only see a few small splotches of bright red blood and you aren’t in a ton of pain or discomfort, you may be dealing with something like a small tear or hemorrhoid, Dr. Sokol says. These can both heal on their own, and you can try at-home methods to reduce discomfort, like soaking in warm baths, applying cold compresses to the area, and taking measures to prevent constipation that can exacerbate hemorrhoids and fissures. But if the bleeding and pain persist for even a couple of days, you should definitely see a doctor for evaluation. That could indicate a more severe issue.
It’s possible to get a serious anal tear due to anal sex, Dr. Sokol says, though it’s much less likely if you follow all the steps above. “This is easily diagnosed by a colorectal surgeon or a gastroenterologist,” Dr. Sokol says.
Treatment for severe anal fissures typically involves topical anesthetics to dull the pain, medications to increase blood flow to the area for speedier healing, and more, according to the Mayo Clinic . “If conservative measures do not heal a fissure, then surgery may need to be performed,” Dr. Sokol says. Again, this is incredibly rare, especially if you walk through anal preparation steps like taking it really slowly and using so much lube you’re practically swimming in it. This is one of those times when an ounce of (lubed up) prevention is absolutely worth a pound of cure.
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
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A Shit So Big You Need to Call Your Mom A little fiber could make even the shittiest men feminists.
by Andrei Trostel | March 11, 2017
Points in Case is a daily literary humor publication featuring enlightening and irreverent comedy from seasoned writers and fresh voices, since 1999.
W e’ve all been there, sitting on the toilet thinking, “Why me? What the fuck did I do/eat to deserve this?”
For me it was last week. Maybe it was that night out with co-workers when we were passing each other’s Indian food around like we were the UN tossing food to Syrian refugees off the back of a truck (calm down, it's just a joke—everyone knows the UN doesn’t give a shit about Syrian refugees). Or maybe it was that Complete Cookie I shared with a co-worker that had 16 grams of protein and 8 grams of cardboard… er, fiber. Or maybe my co-workers are just trying to kill me.
At any rate, I ended up taking a shit so big my ass bled.
Clearly, Lenny and Larry were shitting in this picture.
I’m sure we’ve all experienced this before, but nevertheless it is a humbling and horrifying experience.
First of all, it immediately gives you a greater appreciation for anyone who has ever given childbirth. As a man, I can only imagine the idea of childbirth, and even then I’m not sure as a feminist I’m ethically allowed to attempt to analogize it, so I’m way out on a limb here. I know that taking a giant shit is not even remotely fucking close to passing a human out of your body, but after that shit left my body, I immediately thought of my mother and may or may not have even called out “Mommy.”
It wasn’t until I started wiping though that I gained an even greater appreciation for women everywhere, and not just the ones who've given birth. Look, I get it, women everywhere have seen blood on toilet paper once a month since puberty, but as a man that was a new experience for me and I didn’t know what the fuck to do. As the wave of terror (that I was bleeding from my asshole) enveloped my psyche, I found myself reaching for my phone. Should I Google this? Call a proctologist? Call one of my women friends and ask for a tampon or a pad? How would they even get it to me, since that bathroom bill keeps getting repealed? So many questions.
Sometimes there’s bigger shit to deal with than your outdated views.
Instinctively, I reached for more toilet paper, which for all intents and purposes might as well have been P12 sandpaper at that point. Needless to say, more toilet paper didn’t help and only made matters much worse. As I watched the toilet water turn a disturbing shade of pink, I started thinking about all the wonderf
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