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Lately I’ve been doing a lot of research regarding what I should write on this blog. In this research I found out that “how to make her cum” is something that a lot of men google.
If you belong to these men, let me start out by giving the quick answer to your question:
You can lead your woman and make it easier for her to cum. To do this you should pay attention to and stimulate her clit. Increase her arousal by using your hands and mouth. You should also have sex for a longer duration and spend longer time on foreplay.
To get plenty of actionable advice on exactly how to do the above, I recommend you to continue reading.
That a lot of men google how to make her cum is also something that’s reflected in the statistics. According to a recent study , 10-40 percent of all women are experiencing difficulties or inability to reach orgasm during partnered sex. During another study , almost 50 % of the women reported difficulties reaching orgasm during partnered sex.
So if you are reading this post and are asking yourself how you can make your woman cum, as you can see, you are far from alone.
Before we get into what to do, I first want to emphasis that all women are different. Since all women are different, this also means that there isn’t any magic pill or blueprint on how to make her cum. Any article that’s claiming this will be a lie.
With that said however it’s also about education. By becoming better in bed and improving your sex skills, you will definitely have a much easier time making your woman cum.
That’s one of the reasons why I wrote The Ultimate Guide to Become an Amazing Lover . Although it’s not a blueprint on how to make her cum, it’s a blueprint on how to become an amazing lover. And by being an amazing lover you definitely will know how to lead your woman to orgasm and much more than that.
On top of the fact that all women are different, I also want to point out that if an orgasm occurs or not, is mainly something that’s controlled by the brain. Thus you can never actually give anyone an orgasm. However, you can definitely facilitate and help your woman by leading her towards the orgasm.
Since all women are different there are of course also various reasons to why women are having problems coming. However, according to these two studies , the most common reasons were stress/anxiety, insufficient arousal and lack of time during sex.
Some less common reasons were; pain or irritation during sex, negative body image, insufficient lubrication and medication related problems.
As you can see a lot of these reasons also go together. And some women reported several of these factors. For example, lack of time was reported together with stress and a lack of arousal. And a lack of lubrication is associated with lack of time which obviously leads to pain or irritation during sex.
On top of this, orgasm problems were also more common among young women.
In another study 40 percent of all women needed clitoral stimulation to cum during intercourse. And only 20 percent reported that they could cum from only vaginal penetration. The other 80 percent either didn’t cum from intercourse or had other ways to deal with the problem.
Thus one finding of the study was that clitoral stimulation during sex led to a much higher rate of orgasm. 75 % of all women also reported that clitoral stimulation either made the orgasm better, or was necessary for orgasm.
So with all of the above information in mind, let’s look at the practical implications and what you should be doing if you are asking yourself how to make her cum.
Men’s most erogenous zone is the dick and women’s most erogenous zone is the clitoris. During normal penetration men’s most erogenous zone is stimulated very well, whereas women’s most erogenous zone normally only is indirectly stimulated. This makes it common for us guys to cum faster and easier than women.
On average, guys last around 6 min in bed , while women on average need about 14 min to cum . Thus to make more women cum, most guys should learn how to last longer. Or continue to stimulate her with their hands or mouth once they’ve cum.
I recently wrote an in-depth blog post on how to last longer in bed . So if you feel like this is an area you can improve, you should check it out.
Once you’ve dealt with this problem, you of course also have to allocate enough time for the sex in itself. By allocating enough time you will reduce the stress of the situation.
However, even if you allocate enough time, it is still possible that your woman feels stressed from outside responsibilities. As I mentioned previously, since an orgasm takes place in the brain, this type of stress can affect her ability to cum. Thus if you think this may be the case, its important that you help the woman relax and de-stress from her everyday life before you have sex.
As mentioned above pain or irritation, as well as insufficient lubrication during sex were also reasons why women find it difficult to reach orgasm. These two things go together since insufficient lubrication may lead to irritation.
Thus you should always have a bottle of lube at hand when you’re having sex. Trust me, it will definitely make the sex so much better for both of you, especially if you are using finger stimulation or condoms. If you want to know exactly which lube to get, you can check out my guide to the best lubes .
When it comes to a negative body image this can be hard for you to influence if you’re not in a relationship with the woman. However, regardless of this, you should always make her hear and see how horny she makes you. And how hot you think her and her entire body is. If you are in a relationship this is something that you should do continuously.
Let her hear how beautiful and sexy she is to you.
As you could read above insufficient arousal is a major issue why women can’t cum. Now when lack of arousal is mentioned as a reason why women can’t come when they are having sex with a man, it’s definitely time for the man to start taking responsibility. And since you are reading this text on how to make her cum, that’s exactly what you are doing. This is a great step.
So how do we increase her arousal then?
The first step towards building arousal is foreplay. I will not go into exact foreplay details here, but I have some other great posts: the definite foreplay guide , foreplay techniques and nipple orgasms . Start with these posts, they will definitely help you step up your foreplay game.
Not only will a proper foreplay significantly increase your woman’s arousal, but it will also make her relaxed and be in the moment. That is, reduce her stress. On top of this, it will increase her lubrication.
All of the above is supported by this study on foreplay , where the likelihood of orgasm improved with the length of the foreplay.
This is why a great foreplay also greatly increases the chances that your woman will receive an orgasm.
Once the foreplay is over, it’s time to increase her arousal level even further. As written above, clitoral stimulation is of great importance when it comes to making most women cum. So if you don’t know exactly how the clitoris works and where it’s located, this is the first step to read up on.
Once you’ve done this, there are various ways to stimulating the clit. For some inspiration on pussy eating you can check my post on pussy eating positions . And when it comes to stimulating the clitoris with your fingers, there are a bunch of different techniques you can try out.
As all women like it different, the important thing is to start out with light touch and pay attention to how your woman reacts. In general, however women like touch around the clitoris and light brushing in vertical and circular movements . But you should experiment with various movements to find out which ones your woman prefers.
Stimulating your woman’s clitoris when you’re fucking can also work well if she appreciates clitoral stimulation. And it’s a great way to make her cum when you are fucking.
The most practical positions for this are spooning, doggy style and the woman on top . Don’t be afraid to bring her own hand down to the clit also. This way she can stimulate herself while you’re fucking. And most likely she knows better than you how she likes it.
Since clitoral massage is the most common way for women to masturbate and make themselves cum, it’s not strange if they have a technique that they are used to and enjoy.
Imagine how you surely have a way you usually use when you masturbate, and how you often would have preferred your women to use this on you. You should thus keep your eyes open and notice how she moves her fingers if you see her hand moving towards the clit. Also don’t be too shy to make her show you how she likes to be stimulated.
You can for example take her hand and place it on top of yours when you’re fingering her clit. Then make her lead your fingers and show you what she appreciates. Or during an appropriate time, why not mention how hot it would be if she masturbated in front of you.
The fact is that when women masturbate on their own, they can often reach orgasm almost as fast as men. So not learning from your woman how she prefers it, would be stupid.
When you notice that your partner starts to react strongly, there are two theories about what to do. One says that you should intensify pressure and speed, to take her into the orgasm. The other says the opposite. Women usually cum when you continue doing the same until the orgasm.
Since many men often are too goal oriented and get excited when they notice that the woman is about to cum, they follow the first theory. They increase the speed and the pressure, hoping that the woman will react more and cum.
Because men themselves usually cum easier when they increase speed and power, it’s no not so strange that they think women react in the same way. Most likely, however, this will lead you to change a winning concept. You switch to a movement that the woman doesn’t enjoy as much.
Her feeling gets ruined and you risk taking her further from the orgasm. Instead, you should continue in the same way without changing anything, the woman will then eventually reach orgasm by herself.
However, in order for this to work, you must actually find the ultimate pace and pressure first. Which you do by experimenting and paying attention.
Besides direct clitoral stimulation there are of course loads of other ways to increase the woman’s arousal and make her cum. If she knows how she likes it, woman on top sex positions is a great way.
Since she is more in control herself when she is on top it will be easier for her to cum. She will then either come by riding you so she gets indirect clit stimulation, or ride you so your dick hits her g-spot .
In general stimulation of the g-spot is another great way to make her cum. You can also stimulate it in various other ways, for example finger fucking . On top of coming by stimulation of these traditionally erogenous zones, some women can even get a nipple orgasm .
With all of the above written, the by far most important thing when it comes to how to make her cum, is to pay attention to your woman.
If you’re having sex with her, she wants to cum. And If she knows how to cum, which a majority of all women does, she will either try to take herself there or guide you to take her there. If you are paying attention to her and are being responsive to how she reacts. She will show you how to make her cum.
With this said not all women knows how to cum. And while some women can reach orgasm very easy, others require more time. Some may also experience difficulties reaching orgasm, even to the extent that they have never yet had an orgasm. They may then even think that they can’t cum.
Although this mainly is the case of younger women (maybe due to inexperience), i
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