Machine Sex Story

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Machine Sex Story
A new photo book takes a look at the shockingly normal people who build sex machines like The Thumpstir and The Gangbang in their suburban garages. By Xeni Jardin.
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Editor's Note: The link to a website in the story contains adult material and is not suitable for viewing at work. It's labeled "NSFW."
Jon Traven does not look like a sex-machine inventor. He looks like a cowboy.
But the divorced Christian homesteader from Idaho is one of many makers of garage-built erotic devices featured in Sex Machines: Photographs and Interviews , a book by Timothy Archibald that documents the secretive subculture of hobbyists whose creations bear names like The Thumpstir and The Gangbang.
"Here I am, this divorced Christian guy, not promiscuous at all, and here I am with a sex machine," reads Traven's monologue in the book. "It was an idea I came up with in the last year or two of the marriage, as a last-ditch attempt to save whatever we had ... our sex life, if nothing else. She actually pushed me for a divorce before I could finish it and give it to her.
"I will require anyone ordering a machine from me to provide proof of marriage and a signed statement of intent to use only within that marriage. Kind of like a gun dealer that requires proof of age and proof of passage of a firearm safety test before selling someone a firearm. Sexual arousal is a doorway to a person's very soul and isn't to be messed with lightly."
Archibald shot Sex Machines on a medium-format Hasselblad camera, relying mostly on ambient, natural light. The resulting aesthetic is unstaged and unblinking. It's as if you've stepped into the kitchen of the Hide-A-Cock's inventor, and the machine were there staring right back at you -- from between a Pop-Tarts box and a half-eaten bag of Tostitos. Think American Gothic with giant mecha-dildos replacing pitchforks, or a Norman Rockwell print of the dirtiest thing that ever crawled out of an id.
But despite the provocative title, Sex Machines is not intended to titillate, explains Archibald. "Porn is theater," he told Wired News. "I was more interested in documenting these people's lives."
The project began when the San Francisco Bay Area editorial and commercial photographer received a magazine assignment to photograph the inventor of a foosball-like game popular in Silicon Valley dot-com lunchrooms.
"The invention was his passion, and he was so proud," Archibald recalls. "He said, 'When someone's playing and captures a goal, you gotta capture that look on their face!' And I'm thinking -- they're not that into it, it's just foosball. But he believed in his invention so much."
Archibald turned online to research DIY inventor culture and computer modding in hopes of finding similarly enthusiastic subjects. He ended up stumbling on listservs for sex-machine inventors.
"They posted photos of their machines in the forums, but the backgrounds in those images told something even more interesting about the inventor's life -- an empty yogurt container, a blender, a baby carriage. Mundane details everyone could relate to. The machines were anthropomorphic, alien, with fleshy appendages -- like nothing I'd ever seen before."
Archibald's e-mail queries to anonymous machine makers were politely but uniformly rejected. Most weren't selling their wares, and had no interest in giving up their privacy.
A year later, Archibald contacted the operators of machine-sex porn site Fuckingmachines.com (NSFW) , who in turn pointed him to inventors they thought might be interested in opening up their lives and studios.
Soon, e-mails were cautiously returned, and some phone calls were answered, but one question remained: Just who were the people behind these machines?
"I figured I'd ring the doorbell and some guy would answer in a leather zipper mask -- they'd all be people who lived in basements and couldn't relate to living, breathing women," says Archibald. "But no -- they were just like me. OK, not just like me, but I could relate to the tension between their ordinary lives and their unusual fascinations."
Archibald traveled around the country, shooting both machines and makers. When the idea for a book project materialized, he approached photography book publisher Taschen.
"I can still remember the rejection letter," he says. "It went, more or less, 'For us to publish something it must have high artistic merit but be hot enough to jerk off to. This book is the former, but not the latter.' As disappointing as it was, I felt like I'd finally hit just the right tone."
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Coming Soon: Your Own Personal Sex Machines
(Editor's note: Links in this story that are not safe for work are marked NSFW.) UNIVERSAL CITY, California — It's the ultimate revenge of the nerds as product developers use their big brains to create sex machines that kick pleasure into overdrive. In fact, the very nature of the sex "toy" is changing as a […]
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WIRED is where tomorrow is realized. It is the essential source of information and ideas that make sense of a world in constant transformation. The WIRED conversation illuminates how technology is changing every aspect of our lives—from culture to business, science to design. The breakthroughs and innovations that we uncover lead to new ways of thinking, new connections, and new industries.
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( Editor's note: Links in this story that are not safe for work are marked NSFW.)
UNIVERSAL CITY, California -- It's the ultimate revenge of the nerds as product developers use their big brains to create sex machines that kick pleasure into overdrive. In fact, the very nature of the sex "toy" is changing as a new generation of sex-positive engineers infiltrates the industry.
From the smooth, silent glide of the Monkey Rocker Tango to Le Chair's ability to put two people into a dozen compromising positions, the new products and prototypes unveiled at this week's Adult Novelty Expo straddle the line between toy (a passive, frivolous object) and machine (a substantial apparatus that inspires commitment and even emotional attachment).
Here are some of the most interesting.
The gigantic Power Bullet gives you the stealth option, because it doubles as a muscle massager and hides its complex machinery inside a velvety, matte-black cylinder. It wouldn't be out of place in a Pilates studio or a physical therapist's office for people to roll up and down their quadriceps, but straddling it on a pillow is going to be a lot more effective at relaxing muscles and relieving stress. Its motors provide a deep throbbing touch and its single button offers a simplicity much appreciated by tired tech workers with wrist pain. I'm just sayin'.
As you can see in this photo, Imatah spokesmodel Danka takes the machine's debut very seriously. That's a custom-made dildo mounted on a plate connected to a mechanism that can pump straight in and out or move in an oval pattern. The Imatah weighs about 5 pounds and comes with a fabric sleeve that hides its legs and prevents the machine from falling off the bed when you use it.
"The machine becomes part of you!" gushes inventor James Hatami, who is working with Fleshlight (NSFW) to add functionality for male users. The Imatah requires only a 12-volt power supply "so you don't electrocute yourself," Hatami says.
The original Monkey Rocker (NSFW) is an amazing cybersex accessory, a silent machine that responds to your body motions without any complicated control panels or need for batteries. It's handmade from powder-coated, 100 percent recovered and recycled wood fiber -- PermaCore MDF, if you want to get technical -- and supports up to 400 pounds.
The new Monkey Rocker Tango brings the cybersex experience offline -- when you meet your online lover in person, you can both ride it at the same time (as long as your combined weight is less than 450 pounds). The Tango also works for folks who skip the whole cybersex thing and just have a regular ol' fashioned, in-person relationship. (Weird!)
In a surprise departure from its inexpensive signature collections from porn stars and sex therapists, an upcoming robotic sex chair from California Exotic Novelties (NSFW) is based on love furniture already available in Japan.
This prototype, called Le Chair, comes with motors in the seat and back supports that can pound, vibrate or stroke. One seat adjusts up and down to place lovers in optimal positions for various intimate activities, and both sides provide arm and leg support as well. A representative confided that the company plans to work with programs to help get Le Chairs to war veterans wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan at low or no cost.
At right, we have Le Chair with people in it, to give you an idea of its scale. For this picture, we have raised one seat and reclined its back support. If the woman were to lie back, her pelvis would be positioned conveniently for her partner's mouth. The target audience for Le Chair is "adventurous people" and "people with physical limitations," says California Exotic Novelties, although of course it's fun for everyone.
I'm convinced that the man who goes by "Preston Penobscott" developed the Menage-A-Tool (NSFW) simply as an excuse to spend more time in his machine shop, machining things. The tool is an adjustable, lightweight rod with two attachments for various dildos, so you can penetrate two people at a time and still have one hand free for someone else.
"The next one's gonna be hydraulic," he enthuses, already sketching out how he wants to make the new version even more adjustable so the dildos can go closer together for double penetration or further apart if whatever you're doing requires more space between your partners.
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"During doggy style, he had 'poor aim' and pushed the butt plug up inside me."
More often than not, sex toys do what they're supposed to do: give you an orgasm. But sometimes fate (and uncontrollable bodily functions) has other plans.
Here, 17 people get real with some serious cautionary tales about sex toys but also a reminder that you'll laugh about it later. Eventually.
1. “The guy I was dating bought us a vibrating ring to put on his penis. He has a pretty thick shaft. After amazing sex, he went to take it off and it was stuck. It would not come off him! So we tried using lotion and it still wouldn't move and his penis was starting to turn purple-ish from losing circulation . Luckily, he trusted me with scissors to cut it off. Let's just say he won't be using that again.” — Amanda, 22
2. “My husband and I got a couple's bag from a local sex shop and it came with one of those vibrating egg things that you control with a remote. We had used it a couple times, but it was pretty cheap. We were messing around with it and I kept feeling this pinch that wouldn't quit. Then all of a sudden, an awful jolt went through me because apparently one of the wires was frayed and exposed, literally shocking me in the vagina.” —Kendra, 22
3. “Me and ex-boyfriend were using a butt plug while cat- and house-sitting. During doggy style, he had 'poor aim' and pushed the butt plug up inside me (the base was small, as it was an intro plug). I essentially had to go to the toilet and poo it out. Luckily, me and my ex were super chill and were laughing about it while I sat on the toilet.” — Sophie, 18
4. “My boyfriend and I had always been fairly vanilla with our sex, save for a few nights where we've role-played. About a year ago, I decided to buy some toys — vibrating cock ring and butt plug — to have some fun with. I've never been a fan of butt stuff but my boyfriend loves it, so I'm always down to go along. We did our thing, played with the toys, and when it was time to clean up, I pulled the butt plug out and I pooped. Everywhere. All over myself, our bed, pillows, the floor ... He turned green and ran out of our bedroom. We laugh about it now but I still cringe.” — Andrea, 21
5. “My cop boyfriend at the time and I were using his handcuffs from work in bed one night. Somehow in the midst of everything, the key got lost. His partner cop had to come unlock the cuffs, which made for a great joke at the station.” — Tristan, 27
6. “A couple months ago, I was using a cock ring with this guy I was hooking up with. Instead of putting it on his dick, we took the vibrating part out and he was holding it on my clit while we were going at it. He somehow dropped the vibrator, but it was dark in the room and I couldn't find it. I could feel it vibrating on the bed. I got up, but was so confused because I could feel it vibrating while I was standing butt-ass naked by the bed. I then realized he had somehow slipped it inside me without me noticing. I freaked out and tried squatting, but I couldn't get it out so I made him try. While he was getting it out of me, I noticed my hands were sticky. After he got it out, he said his hands were sticky too. I turned on the light and our hands were covered in blood. I had gotten my period during sex and it was all over his hands, my hands, and the cock ring! He told me it wasn't a big deal, but I was still mortified.” — Baily, 20
7. “I brought my vibrator with me when I deployed because, duh. I was afraid of coming back home with it though, because we have to through a pseudo-customs on our way back where we basically have to empty all of our bags. I didn't want to leave it behind, so I shipped it home to a friend along with some other stuff and said I'd pick it up when I got back. Well, I forgot to take the batteries out so when it got to her house, it was vibrating. When she gave me the box, she said, 'Sorry, I had to open it because something was making noise.' I didn't think anything of it until I got home and realized what it was. I was mortified!” — Melissa, 28
8. “For Valentine's Day, I ordered a butt plug to surprise my boyfriend. The part that stuck outside my butt was a little candy heart shape that said, 'Do Me.' It was really cute and I was excited. We go to dinner and I'm nervous, so I drink an entire bottle of wine, go upstairs when we get home, and just shove it in. When we start to have sex, I bend over, and he loves it, and everything goes smoothly. Afterward, I was scared to take it out because I didn't want to shit everywhere, so we got in the shower, and I pulled it out, and my butt made this super loud POP, like a balloon . My boyfriend loses it laughing at me and now that's all he remembers about it. I went out of my way to do something special for him and he just talks about this huge POP my butt made.” — Nicole, 22
9. “I got my first sex toy in the mail and I was super excited to test it out right away. I'd already bought the right batteries, so when I put them in, I pushed the button to start the vibrating magic. Except it didn't vibrate. I opened my vibrator back up and tried to see if something was wrong with the batteries. I tried to take them out but they were stuck! After one hour of shaking it, banging it on a pillow and fidgeting to get the batteries out, I was so desperate that I called my mom for help . She was kinda weirded out but actually managed to get the batteries out. To this day, nobody knows about this but me and her.” — Penny, 19
10. “I was using Ben Wa balls and they got stuck. I know it’s fairly common, but I was freaking out. I Googled everything and tried everything until my boyfriend finally helped me get it out. I was so embarrassed. Then a couple weeks later, I tried again, and it happened again! I learn
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