Lying Cheating Bitch

Lying Cheating Bitch
By Minda Zetlin , Author of 'Career Self-Care: Find Your Happiness, Success, and Fulfillment at Work' @ MindaZetlin
1. Forgive yourself for being fooled.
2. Don't give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.
3. Learn the basics of deception detection.
4. Stop being shy about checking things out.
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The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
Been Taken Advantage of? It Just Means You're Honest
It's happened to us all, one time or another. We've put our trust in someone who didn't deserve it, and found out later we were being deceived. Whether the deceiver was a spouse, partner, family member, business partner, or employee , we feel betrayed and hurt. But even worse, we feel responsible . "What's wrong with me that I allowed this to happen?" we wonder.
Nothing, it turns out. If you've been taken for a ride by a talented liar or master manipulator, all it means is that you're an honest person.
"Researchers have studied this tendency and labeled it Honesty-Humility," explains Notre Dame professor Anita Kelly, Ph.D., in a Psychology Today blog post . "Individuals high on this trait are sincere, modest, fair-minded, and non-greedy. They do not exploit others, even when there would be no retaliation for doing so. Individuals at the low end of this trait, on the other hand, are dishonest, haughty, and arrogant. They lack empathy and exploit others."
Research shows that the more decent we are ourselves, the easier we are for manipulators to deceive. "There is recent evidence that honest people tend to see others, particularly close others, as more honest than they actually are," Kelly writes. This perception that others are like we are may lead us to give liars the benefit of the doubt. The converse is also true she adds. Liars imagine that everyone around them is just as dishonest as they are, "and thus see even honest partners as deserving to be exploited."
It's a lethal combination. Add the fact that dishonest people are often narcissists who've spent their whole lives learning how to be charming and seem trustworthy and if you're an honest person, the chances of your being taken in by a narcissist are alarmingly high. If it happens to you, how do you move on?
That's not easy to do-I know. Many years ago I married a man who was a compulsive liar and only learned later that virtually everything he'd told me about himself was untrue. The disruption that marriage caused in my own life was devastating, and the disruption it caused to my family members and friends made me so guilt-ridden I wanted to crawl into a hole. It took a lot of years, and a lot of learning about liars and abusers for me to finally see that the responsibility for the harm he did was his alone and not mine.
This may go against your instincts if you've ever seen a Hollywood movie. From Sullivan's Travels to Maid in Manhattan , the silver screen is replete with heros who land a desirable position or mate by lying about who they are. Once found out, they are invariably forgiven, and they stay on the straight and narrow from then on.
But just because it happens in Movieland doesn't mean things work that way in the real world. Someone who's consistently lied to you is not likely to start being truthful just because certain lies have been exposed-or even because he or she has confessed to them voluntarily. Keep this in mind when deciding how-and whether-to deal with the liar going forward.
No, this won't save you from ever being fooled again. But you'll be a step ahead of the game if you learn the facial expressions, phrases, and behaviors that tend to signal that someone may be lying. (For a quick start, here are 5 tips that can help you spot a liar .)
One thing that made me more vulnerable to my ex-husband was the extreme discomfort I felt about asking him to prove the truthfulness of anything he told me. When you ask for corroboration of a statement such as references, bank account statements, the chance to do an on-site inspection, or other independent verification, it can feel like you're projecting distrust. You may fear you will hurt or alienate the other person.
Liars tend to be aware of this concern and exploit it-"I'm so sad that you don't trust me," was something my ex-husband often said. Get over it. An honest person will rarely mind offering proof or confirmation of whatever he or she has told you. And-surprisingly-liars are often quick to invite you to verify what they tell you, knowing that most honest people won't. So if someone invites you to check out their references , past history, or anything else, always take them up on it.
In the aftermath of having been deceived it's very hard not to become a mistrustful person yourself. For months after leaving my first husband, I couldn't bring myself to trust anyone I didn't already know. I also couldn't figure out how to relate to new people while distrusting them. Since I'd moved from New York City to Woodstock in the aftermath of our breakup, I was mostly surrounded by new people and so spent most of my time alone.
It took me a while to see that viewing the world with suspicion was hurting me more than it helped me. I'm a slightly more cautious person now, but I'm just as honest as I was before, and I still choose to see people as trustworthy, at least until I learn otherwise.
If having been deceived keeps you distant from other people, then you've let the liar change who you are and how you live in the world. You'll have let them steal what should matter to you the most. And you'll have given those lies more power than they deserve.

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By Brian Zeng
Quotes
February 12, 2020

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I’ve been on both ends of lying and cheating — the giver and the receiver. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that neither one is a good choice. Cheating and being cheated on carries a lot of hurt with it, not to mention that great consequences come from being deceitful. So, if you sense the urge, here are 29 quotes about liars and cheaters that will make you think twice before trying to trick someone.
Yes, it is true that we all lie at some point in our lives. However, just because everyone’s doing something doesn’t mean it’s good by any stretch of the imagination. In case you still haven’t learned that, take a look at these quotes about liars and cheaters. They ought to give you some food for thought.
#1. “People often cheat when they want to end a relationship. If you love someone, they deserve to have a peaceful, understandable breakup. So, if you want to cheat, just set them free.” — Unknown
#2. “A real man will be honest no matter how painful the truth is. A coward hides behind lies and deceit.” — Unknown
#3. “Some people treat the relationship as a video game; they play them, and when they get bored, they cheat.” — Unknown
#4. “Don’t cheat in a relationship. If you are not happy, then just leave.” — Unknown
#5. “Most people cheat because they’re paying more attention to what they’re missing rather than what they have.” — Unknown
#6. “They didn’t cheat because of who you are. They chose to cheat because of who they are not.” — Charles J. Orlando
#7. “People lie because they are ashamed of what they’ve done; people lie because they are scared to face the truth; people lie because they can’t face the world.” — Unknown
#8. “Oftentimes, we lie and cheat because of the way others treat us. However, we should never drop to their level; we can take pride in knowing we’re better and walking away.” — Unknown
#9. “Dare to be true. Nothing can need a lie: a fault which needs it most, grows two thereby.” — George Herbert
#10. “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.” ― Abraham Lincoln
#11. “Real men stay faithful. They don’t have time to look for another woman because they’re too busy looking for new ways to love their own.” — Unknown
#12. “Trust is like a paper; once it’s crumpled, it can’t be perfect.” — Unknown
#13. “If a girl asks you a question, it’s better to just give her the truth; chances are she is asking you because she already knows the answer.” — Unknown
#14. “A liar will not be believed even when he speaks the truth.” — Aesop
#15. “Things come apart so easily when they have been held together with lies.” — Dorothy Allison
#16. “If you don’t want to slip up tomorrow, speak the truth today.” — Bruce Lee
#17. “Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.” — Unknown
#18. “The truth is best even when we find it unpleasant. Any rat in a sewer can lie. It’s how rats are. It’s what makes them rats. But a human doesn’t run and hide in dark places, because he’s something more. Lying is the most personal act of cowardice there is.” ― Nancy Farmer
#19. “Secrets and lies kill relationships. No matter how careful you are, you will get caught.” — Unknown
#20. “If you cheat on someone that is willing to do anything for you, you actually cheated yourself out of true loyalty.” — Unknown
#21. “When people cheat in any arena, they diminish themselves; they threaten their own self-esteem, and their relationships with others by undermining the trust they have in their ability to succeed and in their ability to be true.” ― Cheryl Hughes
#22. “I am a good enough person to forgive you. But not stupid enough to trust you again.” — Unknown
#23. “A promise means everything. But once it is broken, sorry means nothing.” — Unknown
#24. “I’m not upset that you lied to me; I’m upset that from now on, I can’t believe you.” — Unknown
#25. “Truth hurts; doubt ruins; lie destroys.” — Beverly Suzanne Hill
#26. “Cheat on a good woman and karma makes sure you end up with the bitch you deserve.” — Unknown
#27. “Cheating on a girl is deeper than people realize. It destroys her outlook on love, her future relationships, and her peace within herself.” — Unknown
#28. “One lie is enough to question all truths.” — Unknown
#29. “People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I’ve learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one’s reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one’s master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person’s view requires to be faked…The man who lies to the world is the world’s slave from then on…There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all.” ― Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
When we were children, our parents tried to teach us that lying was wrong. Sadly, many of us forget this once we come into contact with “grown-up problems.”
Nevertheless, lying and cheating is never the answer, and we should all strive toward being completely honest. More often than not, honesty is the only thing that can preserve a relationship .
Our loved ones deserve the truth, no matter how hurtful it is, and hopefully, these quotes about liars and cheaters have made that clear to you. Moreover, they’ll likely be thankful that we respect them enough to be honest with them, no matter what.
Trust me, I’ve regretted lying every time, and the only way I could rectify the situation was with the truth. So, when you sense that the devil on your shoulder is tempting you to lie and cheat — remember these quotes about liars and cheaters and reevaluate your decision.
Founder of Ponbee.com: I like to write about self-improvement and achieving excellence, and believe that it is these qualities that ultimately make people successful in life.

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How do you put a face to infidelity? The answer is, you can't. Just as you were taught not to judge a book by its cover, it's near impossible to look someone in the eye and, in just one glance, know they're a cheater. The truth is, anyone can be unfaithful— it just depends on how you define the term.
Relationship counselor and clinical sexologist Dr. Martha Tara Lee of Eros Coaching said cheating is subjective because different people have different boundaries.
"Cheating can be emotional, and/or physical. It is all depending on how the person concerned is feeling," Lee told INSIDER. "Most people are more disturbed by the breaking of trust and the intimacy in the ‘rival' relationship, than whether there is sex involved."
According to a 2010 to 2017 General Social Survey issued by the Institute for Family Studies, 20% of men and 13% of women have had sex with someone who was not their spouse while married. And what's most heartbreaking about these statistics is, of those who had been cheated on and found out about it, most probably never saw it coming — at least, not until it was too late.
Anyone can be unfaithful, but while you shouldn't necessarily base your judgments off of the stereotypical cheats you see depicted in Hollywood, there are some common personality traits cheaters share. If any of the following red flags are waving right in front of you, it could be a sign your partner's up to something.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that secrets are no fun unless you share with everyone. But not only are a cheater's secrets not fun, they're rarely shared with anyone .
A cheater's secrets can often be revealed through their recent calls list, in text messages on their phone, or a private folder in their email. But a locked phone especially, Susan Winter said, is a dead giveaway.
"Your partner doesn't want you to see their private activity, and therefore is purposefully excluding you from a vital portion of their lives." the New York City-based relationship expert told INSIDER.
Cheaters tend to put some pretty intense privacy setting on their personal lives too, so it's not just their romantic happenings they'll keep to themselves, Winters explained. They prefer to keep all personal details such as things about their family, who their friends are, and where they work on the DL, too.
"What do you actually know about your partner's life, their family, upbringing, and personal life?" Winters said. "A cheater keeps their cards close to their chest."
You might recall this trick of the trade from the 2006 teen dramedy "John Tucker Must Die," but apparently the three-time cheater's strategy of calling his three girlfriends "baby" and "sweetheart" wasn't just clever writing, it's a legitimate tactic cheaters use to make sure they aren't mixing up your name with their other partner's name.
Winters said cheaters will latch onto cutesy nicknames like "baby" and "sweetheart" so that the odds of a slip up are in their favor.
"Calling out the wrong name in the heat of passion is a faux pas that's hard to backpedal," Winter explained, while pet names are easy to remember, especially if someone is sleeping with multiple partners.
Don't feel bad if you've ever fallen for a cheater's false promises and lame excuses for canceling plans in the past. It's easy to do because they're eerily good at it.
So good, in fact, that LeslieBeth Wish, a noted psychotherapist, author, and founder of Love Victory said cheaters will sometimes lay the groundwo
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