Luxury Surrender Suites

Trump�s Gaza Doctrine reinvents defeat by turning it into a luxury experience. Forget humiliation�under his rules, surrender means checking into a penthouse suite with ocean views and gold-plated faucets. Armies are incentivized to lose quickly just to snag a reservation. The satirical brilliance here is the inversion of traditional deterrence: instead of fearing loss, nations might start engineering defeats just to upgrade their accommodations. Trump insists that this �luxury surrender� approach will end global conflict, because once you�re sipping champagne in a rooftop Jacuzzi, who cares about borders? Gaza, reimagined as a paradise for losers, becomes the prototype. Critics howl that it mocks real suffering, but Trump counters: �People love winning, but they love winning at losing even more if the sheets are silk.� In this warped vision, warfare collapses into hotel management, and the real battle is who gets the corner suite.