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As much hype and attention as we give it, sex is just another normal function of the human body — which can only mean it has the potential to get pretty darn embarrassing. While everyone has had at least one sex slip-up before, these cringe-worthy-but-totally-true stories might make you feel better about some of your more forgettable sexual encounters.
“One evening after a few drinks, this younger boy and I were lying on the ground with our pants off and making out. We removed our undies and he starts moving his hips back and forth, slowly and then faster and faster,” recalls Laura. “His breath got heavier, and then he collapsed on top of me. Mind you, this whole time I just laid there in fear of saying something that would embarrass him because he was a virgin .”
“He looked up at me sweetly and asked, ‘How w-w-was it for you?’ I replied, ‘What? You were between my thighs.’ He laughed it off, but was super embarrassed. When we finally did get around to actually [doing the deed], it was fantastic.”
It was 1969 and Dana was a senior at UCLA. “My girlfriend and I were looking for a place to make ‘nookie’ since my roommate was in my room studying. It was a few days before classes started and the room next door to her room was still vacant, so we went in there and proceeded,” Dana explains.
“Then, there was a knock on the door. We froze. Another knock, then the sound of a key going into the lock. Room was pitch dark, so it was just sounds, but we heard voices out in the hall.”
“In a panic, I threw a blanket — or something — over my girlfriend, grabbed my pants and tried to pull them on as I headed for the door to keep it from opening. I got to the door with my pants just above my knees when the door opened,” he recalls. “Standing in the hall was this sweet young freshman girl with her parents bringing her to her new dorm room! The looks on their faces were priceless. I asked them to give us a few minutes — I mean, what choice did they have?”
“My wife and I decided to add a little spice to our love life by using some aerosol whipped cream. I got the can from the fridge and brought it to our dark bedroom, sprayed it all over her boobs and started to lick it off. It tasted funny and I thought that her skin chemistry was giving the whipped cream an off taste,” says John. “It kept getting worse, so I turned on the light. It was all green from mold. She started laughing hysterically as did I. It killed the mood for the night though. I had a queasy stomach all night long.”
John, who is ironically a marriage, relationship and sexual coach, shares: “My wife and I went out with some friends for bowling and beer. We both had a little too much to drink.” However, that didn’t stop him from initiating intercourse with his wife that night. “I was happily pumping away with a full bladder. I began to feel the urge to ejaculate (or so I thought in my half drunken stupor). The problem was that I was peeing instead of ejaculating.”
Eliza recounts a story from her first year in college. “I was with my boyfriend in his dorm room. His roommate was away for the weekend (or so we thought). I’m under the covers giving him a blow job and having a good time. I don’t even hear the key turn in the door or anything — all of a sudden I just hear his roommate talking.”
“I just froze. I didn’t know what to do,” Eliza recalls. “He’s just shooting the breeze with my boyfriend, and my boyfriend is trying to just play it off and is holding a conversation like I’m not even there. So I just stayed down there, perfectly still, waiting for him to go. He talks for what seems like is eternity (probably only two minutes). Then I hear him say, ‘See ya later… you too Eliza.’ I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.”
“I am the first to admit, I’m not a pro at giving head but I try,” says Trisha. “One night, I was pleasuring my new boyfriend and I removed my mouth for a second to breathe when all of a sudden he ejaculated — right up my nose. It felt like I was drowning for a second and I began choking. He thought it was hysterical — I was mortified by the whole thing. I spent the next half hour blowing my nose.”
Updated by Bethany Ramos on 4/1/2016
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As much hype and attention as we give it, sex is just another normal function of the human body — which can only mean it has the potential to get pretty darn embarrassing. While everyone has had at least one sex slip-up before, these cringe-worthy-but-totally-true stories might make you feel better about some of your more forgettable sexual encounters.
“One evening after a few drinks, this younger boy and I were lying on the ground with our pants off and making out. We removed our undies and he starts moving his hips back and forth, slowly and then faster and faster,” recalls Laura. “His breath got heavier, and then he collapsed on top of me. Mind you, this whole time I just laid there in fear of saying something that would embarrass him because he was a virgin .”
“He looked up at me sweetly and asked, ‘How w-w-was it for you?’ I replied, ‘What? You were between my thighs.’ He laughed it off, but was super embarrassed. When we finally did get around to actually [doing the deed], it was fantastic.”
It was 1969 and Dana was a senior at UCLA. “My girlfriend and I were looking for a place to make ‘nookie’ since my roommate was in my room studying. It was a few days before classes started and the room next door to her room was still vacant, so we went in there and proceeded,” Dana explains.
“Then, there was a knock on the door. We froze. Another knock, then the sound of a key going into the lock. Room was pitch dark, so it was just sounds, but we heard voices out in the hall.”
“In a panic, I threw a blanket — or something — over my girlfriend, grabbed my pants and tried to pull them on as I headed for the door to keep it from opening. I got to the door with my pants just above my knees when the door opened,” he recalls. “Standing in the hall was this sweet young freshman girl with her parents bringing her to her new dorm room! The looks on their faces were priceless. I asked them to give us a few minutes — I mean, what choice did they have?”
“My wife and I decided to add a little spice to our love life by using some aerosol whipped cream. I got the can from the fridge and brought it to our dark bedroom, sprayed it all over her boobs and started to lick it off. It tasted funny and I thought that her skin chemistry was giving the whipped cream an off taste,” says John. “It kept getting worse, so I turned on the light. It was all green from mold. She started laughing hysterically as did I. It killed the mood for the night though. I had a queasy stomach all night long.”
John, who is ironically a marriage, relationship and sexual coach, shares: “My wife and I went out with some friends for bowling and beer. We both had a little too much to drink.” However, that didn’t stop him from initiating intercourse with his wife that night. “I was happily pumping away with a full bladder. I began to feel the urge to ejaculate (or so I thought in my half drunken stupor). The problem was that I was peeing instead of ejaculating.”
Eliza recounts a story from her first year in college. “I was with my boyfriend in his dorm room. His roommate was away for the weekend (or so we thought). I’m under the covers giving him a blow job and having a good time. I don’t even hear the key turn in the door or anything — all of a sudden I just hear his roommate talking.”
“I just froze. I didn’t know what to do,” Eliza recalls. “He’s just shooting the breeze with my boyfriend, and my boyfriend is trying to just play it off and is holding a conversation like I’m not even there. So I just stayed down there, perfectly still, waiting for him to go. He talks for what seems like is eternity (probably only two minutes). Then I hear him say, ‘See ya later… you too Eliza.’ I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.”
“I am the first to admit, I’m not a pro at giving head but I try,” says Trisha. “One night, I was pleasuring my new boyfriend and I removed my mouth for a second to breathe when all of a sudden he ejaculated — right up my nose. It felt like I was drowning for a second and I began choking. He thought it was hysterical — I was mortified by the whole thing. I spent the next half hour blowing my nose.”
Updated by Bethany Ramos on 4/1/2016
The stories you care about, delivered daily.
SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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Literotica: 5 websites to quench your online erotica thirst
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Websites like Literotica to get you hot and bothered. (Pexels)
Literotica, and other sites like it, will fill your evenings with erotic passion.
Imagine this: You’re at home and in the mood for some sexual mischief with erotica.
Except you’re alone under the covers and you don’t quite know how to satisfy those urges.
You’ve tried a couple of sites already, but it’s just not doing it for you this time. Sure, the internet has trillions of options when it comes to sexual fantasies, but it’s easy to get lost in the mix.
Without realising, you end up scrolling through the pages of Google for hours but, much like Bono, you still can’t find what you’re looking for.
Let’s consider something new, something exciting, something that will bring us that oh-so-personal release.
Videos are fun, but you’ve been there done that and it might be time to switch things up. Why not try to titillate your mind with some words instead of images? Rather than seeing the hairy butts of ageing actors, why not imagine your own, fictitious, perfect bottom?
Well, consider this our gift to you: A shortcut to the wonderful and inventive world of online erotica, where imagination is your only restrain (unless you’re into bondage, of course). This selection of erotica sites will hopefully save you some precious minutes next time you’re bored of Pornhub, YouPorn or GayForIt.
It is the place for free erotic fiction, and there are many websites that you can go to.
Needless to say these steamy reads are for 18+ only. Underaged readers need not apply.
When it comes to online erotica, Literotica is a titan of the genre – the clue is literally in the name. It leads the field like a Russian dominatrix, offering thousands of erotic stories with hundreds of tags that explore every sexual fantasy.
From vanilla to hardcore BDSM to everything in-between, we guarantee you’ll find something to float your boat to completion. It even has audiobooks for those who’d rather lie back and relax.
One of the most popular genre tags of this site is actually literotica cheating in which
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