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The documentary After Porn Ends is more about work than sex.
The most heartbreaking scene in the documentary After Porn Ends , about the post-porn lives of 12 adult stars, may be when Asia Carrera talks about her membership in the high-IQ society Mensa. She explains that Mensa links to all its members' websites, but that they wouldn't link to hers because... well, because it was a porn site. Eventually, though, the society did feature her in an issue of its magazine devoted to Mensa celebrities—a big moment for her, she says.
Which, to me, just seems incredibly sad. This after all, is Asia Carrera, a woman who ran away from home at 17 and pulled herself together to become a successful businesswoman and a world-famous name and face. Yet, despite all of that, what she wants is validation from some random group of self-declared smart people. For someone like her to need the approval of someone like them is an apocalyptic admission of neediness that's depressing to think about.
The natural conclusion to leap to, of course, is that the neediness and the porn career are inextricably intertwined: that Carrera entered porn because she needed to be loved, and/or is so unsure of herself because she's ashamed of her porn career.
There's certainly a fair bit of evidence in After Porn Ends , available on iTunes now and on DVD later this month , to support such suspicions. A number of the former performers link their entry into the industry to child sexual abuse and/or to drug addiction. And nearly all of them talk about the bitter stigma of being in the adult industry. Houston lost her job selling real estate when a client recognized her. Randy West—who otherwise seems fairly happy with his career—talks bitterly about the fact that most charities won't allow adult stars to donate to them. Even more poignantly, he suggests that his career in the adult industry made it hard for him to form normal relationships, and thus may be responsible for the fact that he never married and has no children.
One expert talking head argues overdramatically that being an adult star cuts you off from all personal ties. Given the way many of the ex-stars talk about their families and spouses and kids, he's obviously making a gross generalization. But at the same time, it's clear that if you're a former adult performer a lot of people are going to judge you—and you can see how, living with that, having Mensa declare you worthy might pack a certain punch.
So it is possible to watch After Porn Ends and come away with the impression that being in porn is a traumatic psychic and social wound that will never heal. But I don't think that that's exactly a fair conclusion. Carrera herself says she has no regrets about doing porn, and talks emotionally about the outpouring of donations and support she received from fans after her husband was killed in a car accident just before the birth of their second child. Porn in this case didn't isolate her; quite the contrary. And even the Mensa thing—yes it strikes me as pitiful, but is it really any more ridiculous than me looking at my blog's statcounter? Everybody needs reassurance, not just porn stars.
Which is not to deny the particular awfulness or difficulties of porn. Asia Carrera talks about enjoying the chance to have sex with some good-looking guy and get paid for it, but Shelley Luben (now an anti-porn crusader) clearly experienced many of her scenes as rapes. Even Tiffany Millions, who is not especially negative about her time in the industry, describes the work in unintentionally disturbing terms. She says that during sex she would often feel like she was outside of herself looking down: a textbook description of dissociation from trauma.
Millions originally got into the porn industry because of her daughter; as a single mom, she had a choice between spending all her time working a minimum-wage gig—or being a porn star for a few hours a week, making more money, and spending most of her days with her kid. She chose the obvious option, treated it like a day job—no parties, no drugs, no alcohol—and quit when she inherited some money and didn't have to do it anymore. These days she has a great relationship with her husband and daughter (whose almost tearful "you're my hero mom" would make a stone verklempt) and works, quite happily, as a bounty hunter.
I say she works "quite happily," and she does in fact seem to like her job. But there are some downsides. The one anecdote she relates is about repossessing some old lady's car because her son was a deadbeat. She's philosophical about it, but obviously found it quite unpleasant, and who wouldn't?
Most jobs have some unpleasantness of course—and blue collar jobs have more unpleasantness than most. Millions's experience does make you wonder whether porn is truly, exceptionally horrible, or whether it's just a particularly visible examplar. Minimum-wage service jobs, or factory work, or police work, or military service—those things don't involve having sex onscreen, obviously, but they're all arguably degrading, depressing, and potentially dangerous or traumatizing. For that matter, I have friends who are teachers in the public school system, and they are often treated terribly by administrators, parents, kids—everybody basically. Many of them have issues with depression and something that sounds a lot like post-traumatic stress.
Several of the commentators note that most people don't get into porn unless things in their lives have already gone awry. Not all, but most of the porn workers (and especially the women) interviewed here were sexually abused, or had run out of money, or were addicts, or had no support network—they were people who had been pushed into a corner. The film might have done better in illuminating this corner if it had had the elementary courage to interview black or Latino performers, and to think about race as well as class. Even as it is, though, the film makes it clear that porn for many performers was a way out of a dilemma—or, for some, a way to compound it.
Either way, it wasn't porn that created the marginalization or the desperation. And I wonder if the focus on porn as porn distracts from the real issues at stake for many of the folks who make it their livelihood. Porn is sensational, more or less by definition, but it doesn't necessarily follow that it's distinctive or central. Really, based on this documentary, the problems porn workers encounter seem like problems lots of workers encounter: abusive working conditions, inadequate (or more often non-existent) pensions, and lack of options. The stories here—the financial disaster Houston faces when she is first fired and then diagnosed with cancer, for example—are ones that could confront any non-former-porn-star in the swelling ranks of the lower middle-class. The antipathy and contempt porn workers face is perhaps more intense. But it's not necessarily different in kind from the antipathy and contempt that workers in general face. If anything, it's remarkable how many of those interviewed look back on their time in porn with satisfaction, and seem to have liked their jobs. Would that more of us could say the same.

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"Sexy Baby" follows a girl from age 12 to 15 as she grows up fast.
Oct. 25, 2012— -- "Is this slutty?" Danielle, having just put on a skirt, asked her friend Winnifred. Lady Gaga's "Monster" played in the background. "Just dance but he took me home instead,/ Oh oh there was a monster in my bed," the girls sang along.
"That's a good length," Winnifred answered. "It's short, but in a cool way, not, like, a slutty way."
Winnifred and Danielle are modern-day 12-year-olds. But they're not playing dress-up -- they're getting ready for a Lady Gaga concert.
Winnifred carefully curates her online profile, pushing her budding sexuality to jack up her Facebook "likes."
The documentary "Sexy Baby," which was featured at the Tribeca Film Festival, follows Winnifred's adolescence from age 12 to age 15, and delves into the world of porn before puberty. Winnifred's journey in the documentary reflects that of many pre-teens today, and through her eyes parents worldwide get a glimpse into the hyper-sexualized culture their children are facing today.
"I know I look like I'm down to f---," Winnifred says in the film.
The film explores how much social media adds fuel to the hormonal fire. Winnifred posted a revealing picture of herself with her bra showing. Why?
"It's awkward, and we're getting messages from everywhere that are saying, 'If you dress this way, you are going to be either treated well or you're gonna feel powerful,'" Winnifred told ABC News' Juju Chang.
Sex is power, and that's how a lot of girls and boys seem to feel these days.
Winnifred's mother, Jenny Bonjean, is a feminist who says she's trying to raise an uninhibited, empowered girl.
"My message to my daughter is, sexuality is a wonderful, beautiful thing. You should embrace it. ... It's not the only type of power you're gonna have. Unfortunately, it is in the culture the first power that they feel ... where 13-year-old girls can have influences on grown men," Bonjean-Alpart said.
"You don't think they realize that?" she continued. "It feels good to have power. ... You don't want to abuse it. Don't take it for granted. You need to find a balance."
Winnifred's father, Ken Alpart, described the two reactions he and his wife have to balance.
"We don't necessarily want her to dress certain ways," he said. "At the same time, we are raising our child to be an independent thinker."
Jenny Bonjean argued that early freedom could help prevent extreme acting out later on.
"We all know those women that went to college that had really, really strict parents who didn't let them experiment with anything, and they went wild in college. ... Girls gone wild, you know, is a phenomenon, and so many of those girls come from households, in my opinion, where they were tamped down on."
The risk is that allowing a child too much freedom to express her sexuality can lead her to act on it.
"I can put a very sexualized photo of me on Facebook and make it so my parents don't know, but every guy at my school does," Winnifred said. "So that does become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because when you make yourself look a certain way, people are going to expect you to be that way."
"I can make your bed rock," Winnifred, then 12, sings in the film. The song is rapper Li'l Wayne's "Bedrock."
Did she and her friends know what the song was about?
"We did realize how obscene it was [when we sang it in the film]," Winnifred told Chang. "I think because it was so mainstream, it wasn't shocking to us. ... If you hear that song f---ing three times a day for two weeks, they're easy to understand -- even when you are 12 or 13."
Music is just the beginning. Pornography itself has become mainstream and ubiquitous -- accessible even to kids.
"When I can reach into my back pocket [for my smart phone] and basically pull out some porn ... you can't really blame a bunch of children for not understanding how to deal with that," Winnifred said.
Winnifred said that when she was in eighth grade, boys watched porn on their phones at school.
According to the award-winning filmmakers of "Sexy Baby," Jill Bauer and Ronna Gradus, one in every five kids between ages 9 and 11 has watched porn. They hope their film will start a conversation between parents and their kids about how to maneuver the sexualized social media world.
The film includes a former porn star named Nicole who is an unlikely voice of reason about what porn sex is and isn't.
"It's definitely not making love," Nicole says. "Making love is the kind of sex that you wanna cry afterwards, just because it's so beautiful, and so emotional, and so powerful."
According to "Sexy Baby," 30 years ago, 40 percent of adults said they watched porn, and now it's 80 percent.
Nicole, the former porn star and stripper, told the filmmakers she used to have to drive far and wide to find an adult store at the mall to buy her strip-club outfits. Now, she said, she can walk into any mall, look in the windows and stripper clothes and shoes are everywhere.
Perhaps ironically, given the "pornification" of America culture, the filmmakers are editing a tamer version of "Sexy Baby" for educational use -- to spark the healthy dialouge they see as vital.
Winnifred agrees. "I think if parents are able to talk to their children, and their children are able to feel comfortable talking about what real love and real sex later on is, I and most of the kids I know would trust our parents over two porn stars that we've never met."
"Sexy Baby" is playing in theaters in New York and Los Angeles and will be available on iTunes and Movies on Demand Nov. 6. A 60- minute educational version for children 14 years old and up is available too. For more on the documentary, go to sexybabymovie.com.
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If you're a lover of period pieces, lesbian romance films, or just gorgeous cinema, you're likely planning to spend part of this December catching the new Todd Haynes movie Carol , where Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara play lovers in sumptuous 1950s New York. But fully appreciating the real depth of the film, at least from a historical perspective, needs a little research first. Carol isn't just a stand-alone piece; it's the latest in a tradition of lesbian cinema across the world , one that has changed and shifted according to societal mores and the history of film itself. And it's certainly not just about Cate Blanchett's cheekbones. (Although we could all watch a close-up of those for two hours and consider it money well spent.)
Lesbian film has had many amazing entries over the decades. Some of the most iconic moments are actually in television; Tipping The Velvet , the UK miniseries based on lesbian author Sarah Water's bestseller, remains a classic. But these 11 cinematic pieces are some of the most seminal, marking big changes, cult status, and serious shifts in how film portrayed LGBT women and their stories. Even "ordinary," small-scale romances are a big deal when you're part of a group that's remained, for the most part, hidden in Western art and culture for hundreds of years. (It's why Kissing Jessica Stein made such a big splash in 2001: a fairly by-the-numbers rom-com, it was one of the first to make the love triangle two parts female.)
So get yourself immersed in some significant lesbian cinema . At the very least, it'll make Mara and Blanchett seem as if they're part of a love affair with film that lasts longer than just 120 minutes.
It seems every year has its hit "lesbian film," these days — and we couldn't be happier. Blue Is The Warmest Color was certainly 2013's. A smash hit with critics and now famous for the excruciating conditions on set, the love story between the two leads, played by Adele Exarchopolous and Lea Seydoux, was based on a cult-hit French comic series, but the tenderness and heartbreak of the narrative made a good transition to the screen. It's explicit and very sad, but it also feels like an incredibly vivid picture of young romance. (It also happens to have one of the hottest sex scenes streaming on Netflix .)
David Lynch's opus on Hollywood has twists and turns inside its twists and turns. In one of the layers, Naomi Watts' ingenue starts an affair with dark-haired noir heroine Laura Harring, only to be derailed by blonde interloper Melissa George. Of course, this is all packed within a dense puzzle-box of narrative leads, dreams, and conspiracies, so who knows what actually happens, but the romance itself is one of the most sparkling parts of the (extremely strange) film.
Before The Matrix, the Wachowski siblings made this, and you are missing out if you haven't seen it. Starring Jennifer Tilly as a gangster's moll and Gina Gershon as an androgynous ex-con, it's sexy, funny, and exceedingly good film noir. Tilly and Gershon team up for a crime caper and (obviously) a romance, and the explicit sex scenes are renowned for being "choreographed" by Susie Bright , a sexual expert and feminist commentator.
This is one for those who wish they'd had their first lesbian encounter in high school, when everything was simpler. This indie Sundance entrant was a hit with critics because of its sweetness and good direction, and the plot will sound like every teenage film you've ever loved: honor roll kid meets streetwise "bad" girl, sparks unexpectedly fly, parents disapprove, complications ensue. The Latina leads are spectacular and you'll end up rooting for them all the way through.
If you've ever seen the film The Women (another LGBT classic, featuring no men whatsoever), you'll know that Reno, Nevada was the place to go for quickie divorces in the '40s and '50s. This film, set in 1959, centers on an academic who travels there for just such a purpose, and gets messed up with her landlady's surrogate daughter. Things, predictably, get sexy; the film's sex scenes are so well-done that the producers of lesbian TV series The L Word made them required viewing for their actors . And (spoiler) it doesn't all go horribly wrong at the end, which is almost a trope of lesbian films, unfortunately. It's streaming on Netflix.
Deepa Mehta's Elements trilogy is one of the classics of Indian cinema, but while Water tends to be the most critically acclaimed, Fire, the first installment, got her into the hottest water. Its plot, where two unhappily married women become lovers, caused several cinema riots in India, a fight with the Indian film censorship authority, and several counter-protests led by Mehta herself. It's an important film, but also extremely beautiful and far-reaching.
Fire , free with subscription, DirectTV
Natasha Lyonne may be familiar to you now from Orange Is The New Black , but lesbians in the '90s adored her in But I'm A Cheerleader, where she plays a cheerleader sent to a "de-gaying camp" in deep denial of her lesbian tendencies. She meets Clea Duvall, sparks fly, and touching teen romance follows in situations hilariously parodying the entire concept of "gay therapy". It's a very silly film, but it's also enormously sweet, and reaches almost Tim Burton-esque levels of technicolor set design.
Warning: if you or anybody you know had their sexuality rejected, violently, by their parents, or has had their heart broken by a straight person, thi
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