Loving My Nude Body - I recently read an article by Felicity Jones that talked about "why women should see other women's nude bodies." At first, the title really shocked me. As if something that lay dormant for years, suddenly jumped back into existence.

I started having a conversation with Jordan who's among the co founders of this Young Naturists group Young Naturists and Nudists America.
click emailed each other back and forth regarding all sorts of dilemmas such as the differences between the generations and how my daughter, and her 23 - 25 year old pals, are capable to be stupid and cook dinner together naked while I, at 52, have never done anything like that (it shocked me to the center initially to see such obvious boldness).
It was a time of freedom, burning your bra, and free love. You'd think I too would be dancing around in complete peaceful independence. Yet my experience was totally different.
We weren't permitted to discuss anything that had to do with nudity let alone nudism or sexuality. We were hushed and made to feel like we were filthy, bad for even believing in this kind of manner. Hence myself and many others began feeling shamed.
I recall one case when I was about 12 years old. My brother extremely pissed me off, so I determined to fight back and I did I mooned him! My mom was so upset with my behaviour and she hollered at me for doing what I did.
She subsequently told my grandma about my black behaviour. This quickly became the family narrative that would explain my youth and was a matter of much ridicule by many of extended family.
This humiliation created a huge number of shame for me. It sent a strong message that made me feel terrible about myself and my nude body. T here fore, as the years went by, it looked normal to me that all of us remained covered up. I have never seen my own mother nude and it was the same for many of my buddies.
Loving My Nude Body By: Patricia Riedel
Later on, in my late teens, I married my first love.
He would conquer me, then drive me to have sex - which made me feel less like a person and more like an object. He'd also use emotional and verbal abuse and would threaten to leave me if I didn't lose weight. He'd make this point soon after his sexual fulfillment with me.
Though I was a small, slim girl, he'd use ugly comments about my weight. Later on I discovered he used to do this to keep my self esteem low and to basically make me feel unworthy so that I wouldn't leave him.
This proved to be a very dark time in my life. I could never imagine anyone ever wanting me. I started to be obsessed with roller coaster dieting, exercise and trying to be / seem perfect. I could never look to attain that ideal.
My abusive husband began belittling my body and I still recall the day I started "hiding. He came in our bedroom one day while I was dressing and I grabbed my clothes and ran to the bathroom to get dressed in private. He never said a word and I began doing this all the time. Without any real idea - I began concealing.
Girls Cooking Dinner Naked Collectively
After nearly a decade of abuse I was able to break away and we split up. After being divorced from this violent man for several years, I married again. This time to a great man! Unfortunately, he only expired last year of cancer. His departure sent me into depression which I 'm struggling with now.
The dilemmas that stemmed from being in an abusive relationship for so many years had seemed to take a powerful hold over me.
Eventually, just before he died I managed to be a little freer. Having said that, I still struggled and that's when I found Felicity's post about being naked.
The post made me see the shame that had haunted me all these years. It stirred my emotions and brought to surface a lot of old wounds and dilemmas that I was suppressing for so many years.
Once I finished the article, I determined to do a test with myself. I determined to start being nude in front of myself! I 'd begin learning how to be comfortable while completely nude every night and be without any judgment. I made a conscious effort to focus just on appreciation, love and recognition for my nude body.
The first few nights were so unusual. I was flooded by feelings of insecurity, negative thoughts about my body and self hatred. These feelings kept coming up so I really had to go through a process of positive self-speaking and resisting the impulse to cover up. I would do everything I could to try and accept the nude me.
A couple of days into this job, my daughter and her friends came to see one evening. We were all sitting in my bed talking. I shared my thoughts about the "naked women" article, asked them some questions and told them my story of how it was when I was young.
Like me, many moms in this generation of baby boomers have raised their daughters to be more empowered and accepting. Now you see so many young women who are considerably more open with their bare skin and bodies - a concept that seems so unknown to many women of my generation.
As all of us ladies sat on my bed talking, one of my daughter's single buddies spontaneously said; let us go topless - so we did! My first initial feeling when removing my top in front of these young women was to question if I did something awful and dirty.
It was such a pleasure and freeing experience that now we are planning a girl's bare dinner party!
I guess the most important point I'd desire to make, as I share my ideas, is that shame is a prison which I needed to be freed from. Shame causes many self esteem issues. It stopped me from loving and accepting myself which is so critical to the healing journey I 'm on - to be a "whole" individual again.
I 'm grateful to this author for writing this article to bring awareness. I'm also glad to Jordan for setting aside the time to speak to me (almost daily and for quite a while).
He kept encouraging me with love and inspiration to keep going on this course of honoring my nude body and to be accepting of "me" in the uncooked flesh - nothing hidden, nothing to be embarrassed of.
To be, in my own eyes - perfect as I am is what matters most.
I expect some others can be motivated to find their peace. Felicity's article and Jordan's support helped me to come to terms with my own naked self and I trust that other women will be willing to embark on a similar journey of self-acceptance and learn to love their beautiful nude selves as I 've.
Now, I am joyful. I'm naked when I wish to be, and I finally feel okay about it.
Peace, Love, Courage and Acceptance to All!
Learning To Love My Naked Body composed by Patricia Riedel was published by - Young Naturists and Young Nudists America FKK