Love To Joint Sex

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Love To Joint Sex
March 23, 2020 July 18, 2022 |
Samira Sayal




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Having sex, especially if it is good, is an adventure on its own. Add a joint family situation to the mix, and your life has changed completely. Ever since I got married and moved into a joint family, having sex has become more creative than ever.
Having sex is no more about just dropping your pants whenever you feel like it. In a joint family, a lot of other things have to be factored in before you can finally orgasm. Read on more to understand what it’s like. Don’t get me wrong, it can be quite the thrill once you figure it out.
So, you think, yes it’s difficult to have sex in a joint family, no points for guessing that. You have to make sure that there are no hickeys, noises are to be at a minimum, no used condoms on display, even in dustbins.
But what a lot of people don’t realize is that it’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to have sex in a joint family. When women moan during sex , you have to make sure it does not alert the rest of the house.
This is not a rant, I swear to God. It isn’t, though I am really pissed for not having been touched by a man, any man or maybe my husband in the last 6 months.
Well, it’s not exactly as if my family conspire to make coitus difficult or stand with their ears to our door to make the whole thing awkward. Everyone completely respects others’ privacy.
But, the fact that 7 other people live under the same roof with rooms facing each other in a hallway, plus the conflicting work schedule of me and my husband and the horrible Delhi ki garmi , permit us little intimacy.
We hardly see each other during the weekdays, and when we do at weekends, we are totally exhausted to do anything except to sleep on opposite ends of the bed.
The Delhi heat is important in my story because you see, our AC had broken down, and after spending many sleepless nights on sweaty sheets, my husband and I decided to sleep in the hall. So, we dragged out mattresses and a light sheet to the hall and decided to sleep early, as the next day we had a puja in the house.
Now, I work till 4 in the morning and even though I had taken an off that day, I couldn’t sleep. My husband, who sleeps early, had slept throughout the day and was wide awake too.
And that is an explosive combination. A man and woman, wide awake and an AC chilling the room as if it were the valleys of Kashmir.
A kiss here and a nudge there, and I was dripping wet. I had my hands in his pants and was about to blow him when we heard a cough. It is another misery of mine that not all the rooms in my house have an attached bath.
We stilled as much we could, anticipating a ‘haw ji, puppy shame’. I wonder why I was even anticipating this. I was making out with my husband! A man I followed around the fire and fasted for on Karva Chauth.
This is completely legit, but my husband, who was shaking like a virtuous new bride, decided to break the thing off.
But Mama ain’t finished. Hell, she ain’t even started. So, I dragged him to the balcony, were partially covered by curtains, we got out of our clothes and started sucking, biting, nudging, kissing, touching each other in a way possible only in a badly directed, badly edited C-grade porn film.
I know, because hello PornHub! I am one of the proud 43% of women watching porn.
After we had the wrestling match to decide who would be on top, I was atop and making strokes as tightly as I could, anticipating the sweet ache down there.
My hands-on his chest teasing his nipples, his hand on my mouth to stop me from screaming, my head bent upwards in pure ecstasy when I noticed a flash from the neighboring building.
And screamed. But scream, I couldn’t. So, I bit. He screamed. More coughs from inside the house. We stilled. “What’s wrong?”, he asked.
I pointed from between the curtains and since I can’t see very well without my glasses, he pulled the curtain apart to see and I felt the glorious mountains deep in my valleys disappear. Having sex in a joint family seemed harder than I anticipated.
“Someone’s shooting us!” he said, covering our bodies within the curtains. I was appalled at the perversion. Why does a couple having sex have to be attacked by outsiders this way? The words didn’t destroy me as much as the speed of his erection disappearing did.
“No, let’s finish.” He shot me a look that scared and excited me at the same time, but slowly sense had started coming that I was soon going to be starring in a badly directed, badly edited C-grade porn if that Peeping Tom put it up somewhere.
“He couldn’t have shot a lot. We were mostly obscured. I’ll thrash him in the morning,” he said, putting on his clothes and throwing mine to me. Then, he went in and was snoring in 10 minutes.
Thrash? That’s a bit gentle. I fantasized on ways to kill this guy as I went in, and lay sleepless for the next three hours.
The next morning, we woke late and irritable and were commented upon for our noisy activities late in the night, with a wink here and there. They thought we were having good sex but in reality there was no sex and then, no orgasm, and then, it was driving me mad.
But, I behaved sensibly, as every married woman should. Plus, we had this amazing quickie doggie-style, (multiple orgasms!!), while everyone was waving bye-bye to Panditji.
I still keep an eye out for that video. My husband couldn’t find the guy who was possibly shooting us, but I keep frequenting PornHub and other places to check if we were looking too fat that day.
My husband doesn’t agree; he knows what I am really after. Having sex anytime and anywhere is a privilege, one that most of us do not enjoy.
Actually yes.. having sex living in a joint family is certainly not an easy task especially in a country where you cannot kiss in public but can definitely piss in public. As horrible it does sound!! And yes the story is much correct to say that even if people do not want to hinder in others life, they do it.
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1. Keep the noise in check – Yes, we know this isn’t fun. Having sex is all about letting yourself loose and having a good time. But in a joint family, avoid the noise as much as you can unless you want to feel ashamed next morning.
1. Don’t do it in the shower – Avoid it unless everyone is gone. When you’re both in the shower together, someone in the family will certainly know and raise eyebrows.
2. Get used to quickies- Being in a joint family, you may not get a chance for prolonged time in bed together during the day. In that case, get used to quickies that you both may enjoy randomly.
2. Don’t leave things lying around – Condom packets, sex toys and what not. Make sure that you do not leave anything out. You do not want one of the children of the house to stumble upon your things while playing in your room.

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Occupational therapist, sexuality clinician and cancer battler, I offer tips & tricks for your intimacy and pleasure post diagnosis. Because it's about living, not surviving.
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Whether you're someone living with a cancer diagnosis, or you know someone who is, finding ways to stay connected can be tough. Well, I've got your back. It's time to connect with those in your life, because we are more than our diagnosis.

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Our conversations are sprinkled with slips, pauses, lies, and clues to our inner world. Here’s what we reveal when we speak, whether we mean to or not.

Sexual connection is a vital aspect of most romantic relationships, but it’s not always as central as people may think. Partners have sex for self-interested reasons—it feels good and can boost self-esteem; and for relationship-focused reasons—it enhances closeness and pleases someone they love. Over the long term, most couples will face sexual challenges, as bodies change with age and individuals’ desire for sex waxes and wanes (and generally declines). Research consistently shows that most couples struggle to talk about sex honestly, but that when they do, it brings them closer together.
Love also brings people together, but it takes more than love to stay together. Many of us know couples that broke up despite believing that they were in love with each other, because of one partner’s infidelity or because of distance or circumstance. But even in long-term stable relationships, partners who feel that they are in love may grow apart, if one believes that they are not emotionally safe in the relationship, or that it lacks passion or intimacy.
Sex is an important aspect of many relationships and while research finds that while regular sex does help to cement a couple's emotional bond, that boost doesn't derive from the physical act as much as from what it expresses—openness, transparency, positive communication, and a commitment to foster and maintain erotic energy. What happens after sex is also vital: Research on sexual "afterglow," including cuddling and pillow talk, finds that the feeling of enhanced sexual satisfaction following a sexual encounter can leave partners feeling better about each other for weeks or even months. While many partners worry about why they may not have sex as often as they once did, or whether they need to learn new techniques, a decline in a couple's sex life is more commonly a reflection of other problems in the relationship, rather than the cause.
Experts who research sex in relationships report that those partners who find their sex lives most fulfilling say that the keys to a great sex life are being able to stay in the moment, communicate with each other honestly about their sexual wants—and have empathy for their partner’s, be vulnerable, and remain open to trying new things together.
Married couples report having sex an average of 58 times per year, although couples in their 20s report much more frequent encounters—about 111 per year, with that number dropping about 20 percent per decade as couples age. (Researchers tend to be suspicious of such results, since they are based on self-reports.) Many experts suggest that neither very frequent nor very rare sex is necessarily a problem for couples as long as they find their relationships satisfying and believe they are having enough sex .
Would more sex make you happier ? Probably not. In experiments, when couples were asked to double their normal frequency of sex, most did not follow through, and those who were able to did not report greater sexual satisfaction. In other words, for most couples, when it comes to sex, quality is more important that quantity.
The warm, fuzzy feeling many couples experience after sex is known as “ sexual afterglow ,” and research suggests that it may be vital to a relationship: Partners who experienced a feeling of sexual satisfaction longer—as long as 48 hours after sex—reported greater relationship satisfaction overall. (Research also finds it to be a myth that men tend to fall asleep quickly after sex.)
A range of research on sexual satisfaction in heterosexual relationships finds that, at every stage—desire, kissing, and orgasm— the woman’s satisfaction is more predictive of overall relationship satisfaction for both partners than the man’s—and a decline in a woman's sexual desire is more predictive of relationship troubles than a decline in a man's.
It can, but couples should understand the role sex plays in a relationship: Research suggests that a high-quality sexual connection, especially early in a relationship, lays a foundation for long-term sustainability. Studies find, in fact, that even as sexual satisfaction begins to decline in many relationships, overall satisfaction remains high. But when partners’ levels of desire start to diverge widely, it’s crucial that the concern be addressed.
For many, if not most, people, primal, passionate sex is an essential element of a healthy sex life. But many partners in long-term relationships find themselves moving away from passionate sex, either because they don’t want to put in the effort or because they talk themselves out of it. Some experts suggest that, to restore their passion, people talk about it openly, allow themselves to express their primal selves, and learn to tolerate sexual intensity.
Loving relationships can literally be a matter of life and death: Having a supportive relationship is more predictive of warding off mortality than quitting smoking or exercising, while a toxic relationship is more damaging than no relationship at all. But love is always reciprocal, and can only survive if both partners are willing to be open and honest with each other, express gratitude, share their thoughts and feelings, and ask for support rather than trying to go it alone. Individuals often believe they are sparing their partner by keeping their troubles from them, but people can be deeply hurt when they discover that the person they love most has not confided in them or sought out their support.
Romantic love could be seen as an evolutionary adaptation—a force that increases the chance of passing one’s genes on to future generations. It has also been described as a force that enables partners to stay together over the long term. Some identify it as a blind force that brings people together, even without strong romantic feelings, through what’s known as the “mere repeated exposure” affect. And others, citing different definitions and approaches to love at different times and in different cultures, describe it as merely a sociocultural construct.
Love has been defined by some as having three elements—intimacy, commitment, and passion. But many couples worry that their passion is declining over the years, making their connection less secure. Research, however, finds that a decrease in passion is less of a problem than a couple’s belief that once it decreases it can’t be restored; partners who understand that it waxes and wanes are more likely to rekindle it, and stay together.
Saying “I love you” for the first time is seen by many as a more significant step in a relationship than having sex for the first time. The statement implies a level of commitment, exclusivity, and intimacy that one partner may not be sure the other feels yet. Contrary to a common stereotype, though, men are much more likely to say those three words first , and more likely to report having felt love first in a relationship.
Even couples that are generally successful at addressing other issues get stuck when it comes to talking about sex. Many people assume that great sex should not require conversation, but that often leads to years of stale or unsatisfying encounters. Research finds that people avoid talking about uncomfortable topics because they imagine that what they say might threaten a relationship, especially if it's about sexual fantasies or interest in "unconventional" sex; that expressing concern about their sex life will hurt their partner's feelings; or because they're reluctant to reveal too much about themselves for fear of feeling shame or being shamed. But research also shows that partners willing to discuss intimacy with each other are generally happier with their relationships because they discover that their sexual concerns are usually not, after all, a sign that their relationship is in trouble.
It’s easier when partners understand that in actuality, most types of “unconventional” sex are pretty common . Surveys find that most couples have in fact engaged in what would generally be considered kinky sex play, or at least had fantasies about it. Couples who understand this, and worry less about violating norms, are more able to talk about their desires, and more likely to maintain satisfying connections.
Many people imagine that their fantasi
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