Love Boat Porn
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Love Boat Porn
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Featured in BJ Suck-A-Thon 2 (2014)
Love Boat XXX Music Theme Song Written, Produced & Recorded by Will Ryder (as Jeff Mullen) & Rock Hardson
Making fun of this dated TV sitcom would seem to be easy, but hack director Will "Award-Winning" Ryder manages to muff the opportunity. Probably because his sense of humor ain't ready for prime time. His technique at filmmaking is also deficient, using green screen throughout, with periodic intercuts of a real ocean liner out on the sea. Framing and blocking are also amateurish, frequently merely lining up the cast as if posing for a school photo in 2-dimensional use of the screen (no depth). Famous actors from the TV show are mentioned in the opening disclaimer, namely the boiler-plate for porn-parody pretending that what we'll see has no resemblance to anything even though that resemblance is precisely what is being attempted. The actors seem chosen at random, so the actual resemblance turns out ironically to be minimal. Sex scenes are standard and unimpressive, though Capri Cavanni's beauty and fab body do shine, despite the feature she's stuck in, cast as passenger Evan Stone's main squeeze. The other girls are not attractively styled, especially Sunny Lane wearing a horrible wig (and looking like her puffed cheeks are on Prenisone. Crew including old fart Steve Nelson (who gets to go XXX in an unappetizing scene) as the captain, Kurt Lockwood smirking as the ship's doctor and Tee Reel taking up space (and providing IR content) as the bartender keep cracking jokes none of which are remotely funny. Only thing I liked about the show was frequent porn extra (and occasional leading lady) Lucky Starr getting the final line of the movie as the passengers depart the ship, cruise finally and thankfully, for us out in video land, over.
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