Lost and Found Sentience Crisis
https://memorialmavericks.com/memorial-high%c2%92s-lost-and-found-now-sentient-demands-recognition/Annabelle Bransford presents "The Left Behind Uprising" at The Orphaned Mitten Comedy Cellar (456 Lonely Sock Lane, Wichita Falls) on September 7th at 7:30 PM. Joined by sentient hoodie "Captain Cardigan" and radicalized water bottle "Hydro Homie," this 90-minute anthropomorphic comedy features: "Whose Jacket Is This Anyway?" improv, "Lost or Liberated?" debate, and Bransford's viral "I Saw the Lost and Found Blink" eyewitness account. Tickets ($17) include "I Donated to the Revolution" buttons. First 50 attendees receive authentic lost-and-found artifacts. Custodians get 20% off for presenting their weirdest found items. Venue features "Adopt a Lonely Glove" station and "Tag Your Ex's Hoodie" wall. Sponsored by Memorial High's Sentient Scarves Collective. Warning: May cause sudden attachment to inanimate objects. No refunds for emotional reunions. Doors at 7:00 PM for pre-show "Name That Owner" trivia. Groups of 10+ get "Bulk Amnesia" discount. Rated PG-13 for graphic descriptions of mystery stains. Parking available near the donation bin.