Losing Your Virginity To Your Brother Best Friend

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Losing Your Virginity To Your Brother Best Friend
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I’ve never told anyone more than a vague account of my “first time” if the topic of virginity comes up. I was young, 15. We were drunk. It wasn’t very magical. If pressed for more details, I would lie and say I lost it to a boyfriend.
In the beginning of High School my best friend and co-conspirator was Mary*. Mary and I did absolutely everything together, including a lot of firsts. Particularly a lot of reckless firsts. We got drunk for the first time together, smoked pot and tried various other substances for the first time together, tried our first cigarettes, learned how to sneak out of my house and cut class. She was even there the night of my first kiss, on the couch next to me, and then again in the front seat when I was in the back seat giving my first blowjob.
I adored Mary. She was gorgeous, funny and had an awesome sense of style. She always said the right thing, and acted the right way to come off as the perfect combination of cute and badass.
We dressed similarly, listened to the same music, hung out with the same people. We even adopted each other’s habits and vernacular. We were sometimes considered a single entity.
Then Mary started dating Malcolm*, and our two-some evolved into a three-some. Malcolm was dreamy. He was 17! He skated, listened to cool music, smoked cigarettes and weed, and was totally hot. He was also very into Mary, which I thought was great. (Who wouldn’t be?) I loved hanging out with Malcolm, and the three of us had some pretty great times together.
I was always hanging out with Mary, and now so was he, so we got to know each other pretty well. I would even sneak him into my house when Mary spent the night and he would sleep between us, sneaking out early in the morning to ride his skateboard home.
Mary lost her virginity to Malcolm. She called me that night to let me know. She said she didn’t really feel any different and actually it wasn’t that big of a deal. But I felt a little smaller or childish in comparison. I was eager to join the big leagues. We did everything together, and I was sad that we now had this seemingly huge disparity between us.
Of course I was a little jealous of Mary. I was certainly attracted to Malcolm, and I desperately longed for teenage love. But what I really wanted was my own boyfriend.
Their relationship was pretty tumultuous — it got to the point where one week they were dating and the next week they were broken up. I could barely keep track. Malcolm would call or text me sometimes late at night when Mary wouldn’t answer his calls. I was stuck in the middle of their drama, trying to assuage both sides. I didn’t want them to be fighting. I preferred when we could all hang out happily together.
I don’t remember exactly how I ended up on his mattress that night, with him offering to massage my back. Our flirtation had started casually enough and evolved into a very frustrating temptation that I started to encourage. Malcolm and Mary had recently broken up again. He had probably called me to talk about his distress, and I had probably gone to his house under the pretenses of continuing my counseling in person. I can’t plead total innocence on possible scenarios involving me hanging out with my best friend’s boyfriend alone in his room while drinking alcohol. It didn’t “just happen.” I was complicit in my deceit.
He thanked me afterward. I waited on the sidewalk for my Dad to come pick me up in a sort of a daze, thinking about what had just happened. I wasn’t a virgin anymore. I don’t remember it hurting. I don’t think there was any blood. I lost my virginity to my best friend’s boyfriend. I didn’t feel more mature. I felt dirty. I felt vacant.
They were back together a few days later.
I don’t remember how she found out. It didn’t matter. She was betrayed, and we had our own messy break-up. I was ashamed, am ashamed for how disrespectful I was to my friend, and also to myself. We eventually reconciled somewhat and became friendly with each other senior year. We even hung out on occasion.
Reflecting back on our friendship, I have since come to understand I didn’t just want to be like Mary, I wanted to be Mary. I betrayed her friendship for something as insignificant as sex, because in a twisted way I thought it made me more like her.
I don’t want to say losing my virginity wasn’t a big deal, but the sex aspect isn’t what makes me cringe. It’s the manner in which it came about, and that I should’ve known better. I did know better.
I only recently told one of my friends. For the first time I actually uttered the words “I lost my virginity to my best-friend’s boyfriend.” I was incredibly relieved to finally be able to own up to my past. Astonishingly, my friend replied, “I did too.” I don’t think it makes us bad people. Adolescence is wrought with challenges and hard decisions and bad decisions, and we learn from them.
In the nearly 10 years since, I have grown up a great deal and I have a lot more respect for my friends and myself. While I still can act a little reckless, I like to think I’ve learned to be much more responsible and independent. I have lost touch with Mary, but I still miss her and think about our friendship from time to time. I wish her the best, and hope to catch up with her someday.
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FRIENDLY FASHION Besties tried on the same outfits, looked amazing on both bodies
SHAKE IT OFF I’m midsize & trolled for my ‘inappropriately small’ outfits but I don't care
HAUL IN ONE I'm a size 18 & did a huge Shein haul & there’s one dress that’s blown my mind
CLASS ACT I'm a primary school teacher & there's four things I've grown to hate
STEVE* was 16 when he lost his virginity to a friend’s mum, twenty years his senior. 
At the time he felt lucky and it was only when discussing it with a psychologist over thirty years later that he realised the effect it had had on his life.
Here he shares his story with Kidspot.com.au …
It was about two o'clock in the morning and I was just drifting off to sleep in a sleeping bag in the lounge room, surrounded by party remnants, when Jane* padded silently into the room, unzipped my sleeping bag and got in beside me. 
I was 16, and although it wasn’t the first time I’d been drunk, it was still a relatively new occurrence.
Maybe it was the drink, but I really wasn’t that shocked when she started kissing me passionately: despite my young age, I’d always had an intuitive feeling that perhaps she was attracted to me. 
I thought I was mature for my age, and Jane was a single mum; petite, attractive and young for 36. She always paid me a lot of attention.
When I went round to hang with my mate, she would often offer to give me a lift home afterwards and I could feel some sort of tension as we laughed and talked in the car.
The party had actually been my mate’s 16th birthday and the underage drink had flowed freely. 
I’d turned 16 myself about three months earlier. I still wouldn’t be old enough to legally have a drink for another two years, but that night I lost my virginity to a much older partner with the law’s blessing. Very willingly on my part, I might add.
And it was great. Not like the awkward fumbling I’d had with girls my age up until then, it was how I imagined sex could be from watching films, and sneaking a look at my older brother’s porn magazines. We did ‘everything’, based on my scant knowledge of what ‘everything’ was.
And it didn’t feel to me like just sex, it felt like I was making love. Like I was truly in love with this woman and she was in love with me. A 36-year-old woman and a 16-year-old boy.
The next morning when I woke up with a hangover, I was alone in my sleeping bag. 
We all gathered for breakfast and Jane treated me as she always did - friendly, but very much as a friend of her son. Perhaps slightly more offhand and less friendly than normal. 
I knew immediately that I’d never be able to tell anyone - I had to keep this a secret and play my part in keeping the normalcy.
But we had sex again. Quite a few times, in fact. And always, obviously, in secret. 
Looking back, I don’t think Jane got off on the secrecy side of things, I think she was genuinely scared of getting caught. But I liked it. It felt like I was getting away with something I shouldn’t be doing.
I then spent most of my adult life looking back on it fondly, as a harmless, sexual adventure - a rite of passage
And I also realised over time, that I liked the almost transactional nature of the sex we were having. 
There was no need for lavishing attention on Jane or treating her in a special way - and in fact it would have been totally unwanted, as we kept up the pretence. 
And so unlike other girlfriends I’d had who wanted my time and attention, Jane just wanted to have great sex with me, and then I’d leave to hang out with my mates and pretend it had never happened - with her blessing.
It might sound perfect to some men; and to a 16-year-old kid, doing his HSC (Australian equivalent of GCSEs) and learning to drive, it was certainly appealing to have this deep dark secret - albeit one that I was burning to share with mates.
Then after about six months, Jane started seeing someone, as she of course had every right to do as a lonely single mother. And I was devastated. 
I of course thought I was in love with her, and couldn’t understand why our arrangement couldn’t continue for, well, forever.
We never had a deep and meaningful chat about the situation, Jane almost immediately detached herself from any contact - no more lifts home, no more secret assignations.
I had to suffer in silence and for the most part I did, apart from getting very hideously drunk at another house party (still underage) and abusing her new boyfriend disgustingly. He was actually a really nice bloke in retrospect, and utterly confused by the episode.
After a couple of years of initial resentment, I then spent most of my adult life looking back on it fondly, as a harmless, sexual adventure - a rite of passage.
But then one day in a therapy session, I related the story to my psychologist. We’d been working together for a year on my anxiety, depression, substance abuse and lack of self-worth. 
It had never come up before, and in fairness, there was plenty of childhood family trauma and disfunction to get through first.
I remember her saying to me, “How would you have felt if that was your 16-year-old son and a 36-year-old woman?” 
And as I had a son who was 16 at the time - as she well knew - it hit me right between the eyes just how inappropriate that would be. My son was just a boy. Yes, he was becoming a young man very rapidly, but he was still very much a boy in emotional terms. In formative terms.
And I realised that I had been, too.
Now aged 46, divorced, and with a string of bad relationships and addiction behind me, I understood how life worked, in a way I was incapable of 30 years earlier.
I also saw that my relationship to sex over the years had been very compartmentalised. A commodity that I craved. Not an extension of a relationship to be developed. I saw the act of sex as meaning love. I didn’t think sex needed real intimacy and connection, just a place and a willing partner.
I also saw sex as a guilty pleasure rather than a natural, expression of love. Something naughty and clandestine to get away with when nobody was looking. And I often saw relationships as just a vehicle for sex. Something to fit around the rest of my life.
Gradually I’ve spent time unlearning some of these behaviours and it’s been difficult - many feel hard-wired. Not all of them are linked to my early sex life, but some are.
I still don’t blame Jane for what happened between us. I have issues that were there before we had our ‘fling’, and that are more down to my family nature and nurture. But while I grew up thinking I’d been lucky to have that as my first sexual experiences, now I’m not so sure.
This story was originally published on Kidspot.com.au and has been republished here with permission.
Besties tried on the same outfits, looked amazing on both bodies
I’m midsize & trolled for my ‘inappropriately small’ outfits but I don't care
I'm a size 18 & did a huge Shein haul & there’s one dress that’s blown my mind
Royals braced for Meghan memoir which could lift lid on biggest secrets
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Damn. U let yo brother tap tht ass. He liked tht shit dint he?
Mike3hunnaKidd that's disgusting omg
That must have been super tight pussy and ass
If it don't sit right with you go see a therapist.
You people are so lame expect sophiakay. SO FUCKING LAME
That sounds more like two kids experimenting than the sex people are referring to in the context of virginity. When someone asks if you are a virgin, tell them you are. You don't owe anybody an explaination for what is, in my opinion, a foolish childhood mistake.
Eh?? Once is an honest mistake, twice is stupidity, but to repeatedly do it is inviting misery. Seriously, people who are genetically related aren't supposed to have sex again and again because they're at high risk of producing an offspring with multiple mutations. It's not just low IQ or missing limbs we're talking about here. Inbreeding amongst the royal families in Europe have led to widespread cases of hemophilia in the Royal Princes. Other descendants suffered mental health problems, including schizophrenia (see The Madness of King George). Although mythology teaches us that Egyptian deities Osiris and Isis were brother and sister before they became husband and wife, these stories aren't really applicable in real life. First of all, they're gods and goddesses. It's assumed they were born as perfect beings. When they mate, they're expected to produce another perfect being with extraordinary abilities. However, there are also cases of accidental incest between siblings who were separated at birth or between a parent and a child who was put up for adoption immediately after birth. Later, when these long-lost relatives met each other as adults, they felt an intense sexual attraction towards each other. If these people had grown up together starting from childhood before adolescence, then the anti-incest mechanism kicks in and repels any attraction between siblings or blood relatives with feelings of disgust. Behavioral scientists think this unusual attraction is an egocentric pull between two individuals with the same genetic code. The impulse to get to know the other person more deeply until an intimate bond is formed seems too strong and often misinterpreted as sexual desire. In most cases, both parties eventually succumbed to overpowering lust and consummated this desire. Naturally, those who were aware they're related experienced conflicting emotions afterwards. If, at one point, these pairs of siblings or parent and child decided to get married, it's of course impossible in most countries, including the united States, where there are laws prohibiting marriage between individuals of first-degree consanguinity (blood relationship). This means marriage is not allowed between uncle-niece, aunt-nephew, brother-sister, parent-child, grandparent-grandchild, and first cousins. In comparison, countries like Japan, India, Pakistan and the Middle East have in their historical records up to 30% of marriages considered as consanguineous. Once the authorities discovered your relationship, the legal system has the right to imprison you wherever incest is illegal. You'll get separated and denied any chance of seeing each other for a long time. That has happened before somewhere in Germany where a brother (adopted when he was a child) met his sister when he was already 20 yrs old. They fell in love as adults after their mother died and lived together as a couple. The couple already had four children before they were discovered by authorities and the brother was sentenced to 3 years in prison in 2007. They tried to appeal to the German courts for the lifting of the ban on incest, but they lost in 2008. In 2012, the high courts in Europe upheld the decision of Germany to keep the status quo on incest laws.
Thank god I thought it was cause he raped u.
Nobody's perfect in life. I made mistakes as a kid too. Don't feel bad. It won't affect you later. Set this thing on the very back of your mind and don't think about it. A little kiddy mistake won't ruin your life. Trust me.
you where a child they make mastakes you didnt know anybetter just put all of this in trash and think about your future trust me it help too think about your future im 15 and ive made mastakes in my child years but I dont worrie about it anymore
listen virginity to me is nothing but a state of mind. u did it when u hadn't any idea about it. so u r a virgin. if any one ask u , u r not bound to answer. just chill friend. lv u
Although it was a mistake, instead of beating around the bush, I'll say I honestly don't consider you a virgin. However it isn't fully your fault, your parents should have been supervising you while you were on the internet.
Yea parents sometimes don't supervise alot
Well its okay you made a mistake just forget it you didn't know wat it dose or anything when you grow up you should make sure that dosent happend to you kids!
Considering it already happened, you might be better off thinking less about what other people think and more about how you honestly think and feel about the situation. Virginity: Tell people you are, and don't worry about it. As for inbreeding and children... that depends on your luck... on what genes you have and how they combine, so if your genes carry trouble and you make that dominant, the kid has a headache on his hands (but bad combinations can happen with someone random too)
Anyone remember as a child sticking your Hans in deep holes trying too catch the little rabbit that went down there?? I do, me and my cousin both did that we were 9 and we were children. We had no idea what we were doing, this young girl had no idea what she was doing. Don't give her shit for a mistake made at a young age because everyone has made a mistake at a young age.
Some people might think deferentially and although it was a mistake your not a virgin. It was a mistake so you could tell people that you are. You might not be a virgin but don't let it affect your life. Your not pregnant, it was an accident and as long as you don't do it again you can tell people whatever you want. Btw how old was your brother?
...I...I just...I don't...*drowns in my own blood*
I guess its okay because u were trying it so u didnt get preggo or anything or didnt get herpes or aids so ur fine
You just made a bad mistake. Just act like it never happened you were young and foolish. Just say yes if people ask if your a virgin.
:hi people finally I have received my miracle from Jesus.i Have been praying to Jesus everyday to deliver me from hiv virus since a year now. the worst part is that I contacted it from my husband he was cheating on me after 3 year of being married and I never knew until I got pregnant and the doctors was running test on me. the result shows I was hiv positive I felt all hope was lost because the doctors here in Georgia told me there'is no cure for hiv I felt lik
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