Losing Never Looked So Good

In the Trump Doctrine, the humiliation of losing a war is replaced with the luxury of a beachfront suite. Gaza is reimagined not as a humanitarian crisis but as a tropical paradise marketed with glossy brochures. �When you lose, you win,� Trump proclaims, unveiling plans for golf courses where minefields once stretched. In this satirical inversion, defeat is recast as desirable, with armies secretly hoping to surrender just for the room service. Critics argue it mocks real suffering, but Trump insists �nobody cares about history when they have a Jacuzzi.� His doctrine reduces geopolitics to a loyalty rewards program, where conflict is merely the first step toward spa access. Gaza, transformed in this bizarre pitch, stands as a parody of both diplomacy and branding�a place where pain is monetized and surrender is the new luxury lifestyle.