Loose Asshole
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Loose Asshole
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by
Dan Savage
January 8th, 2020 April 15th, 2022
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I have a question about porn, and I can’t think who else I can ask that will give me an intelligent, educated answer. In modern porn, anal on women is gaining popularity. I’m a fan of anal with my boyfriend. However, in porn, it seems like the gaping asshole is a thing, a sought after thing, a desired thing. And I guess my boyfriend and I don’t get it. We can get quite vigorous when we have anal sex, but MY butthole never gapes open like that—my boyfriend assures me that when he pulls out, it goes back to its cute little flower-like effect. Why is the gaping asshole so popular? I promise this is not a frivolous question or just for titillation. We really do wonder: What gives? —Gaining Anal Perspective Entails Serious Question
It’s funny how a chief fear about anal sex—that your asshole would gape open afterward and poop would fall out while you walked down the street—became eroticized. (The asshole gaping open part, not the poop falling out part.) Did I say funny, GAPESQ? I meant predictable. Because a big part of the collective human subconscious is always at work eroticizing our fears, and the gaping-open, just-been-fucked, completely “wrecked” asshole many people feared inevitably became something some people found hot. And as more people began experimenting with anal sex—as anal went mainstream over the last two decades—people realized that the anal sphincter is a muscle and the secret to successful anal intercourse is learning to relax that muscle. Situationally, not permanently. You could relax, get loose, gape after, post the video to a porn tube, and then tighten back up. Now, not everyone thinks a wide-open, gaping asshole is desirable. And not everyone, in the immortal words of Valerie Cherish, needs (or wants) to see that. —Dan Savage
Honest question: If you, being a homosexual, don’t die from HIV, will you have to wear a diaper before the age of 42? Optional question: What does a prolapsed rectum look like? I bet you can describe it without doing an image search. —Sickening Homosexuals Are Malignant Errors
Honest answers: I know you meant this to be hate mail, SHAME, but I’m just thrilled someone out there thinks I’m not 42 yet. Also, I’m HIV-negative—last time I checked—but even if I were to seroconvert (go from HIV-negative to HIV-positive), a person with HIV who has access to meds can expect to live as long as a person without HIV. Also, a person with HIV who is on meds and has a zero viral load (no trace of the virus can be detected in their blood) cannot infect another person. So even if I were to contract HIV after all these years, SHAME, I would likely live long enough to die of something else, and, once I got on meds, I couldn’t pass HIV on to anyone else. And quickly: I’m way past 42 and not in a diaper yet, thank you very much. And while some people think a prolapsed rectum looks like a rosebud, I happen to think a prolapsed rectum looks like a ball of lean hamburger. And the first one I ever saw—and, no, I didn’t need to do an image search because it makes a real impression—was in straight porn, not gay porn. —DS
P.S. If you can’t think about gay men without thinking about our poops and the diapers you hope we’re wearing and our meaty prolapsed rectums, SHAME, that says a lot more about you than it does about gay people.
My significant other wants me to delete any NSFW pictures of my exes, but I don’t feel comfortable with that. I don’t have an emotional attachment to my exes or really look at these photos anymore, but I feel that old pictures saved on old computers aren’t doing any harm and deleting them won’t fix my partner’s insecurity. —Personal Images Causing Strife
Accommodating a partner’s irrational insecurity is sometimes the price we pay to make an otherwise healthy and functional relationship work, PICS, as I recently told another reader. But one possible workaround—one possible accommodation—is telling your insecure partner what they want to hear even if it isn’t true. Telling a partner who is concerned about safety that you’re using condoms with others when you’re not isn’t okay, of course, just as telling a potential partner you’re single when you’re not isn’t okay. But telling a partner that you deleted photos you never look at on a password-protected computer they can’t look at … yeah, that’s a lie you don’t have to feel too awful about telling. —DS
How long after using an oil-based lubricant do I have to wait before I can safely use latex condoms? Not right after, presumably. Next day? Next week? Next century? I’ve been experimenting with oil-based CBD lube for hand/toy stuff, but I’m worried about the timing relative to penetrative sex. —Oily Inside
“Oil and latex condoms do NOT mix, period,” said Melissa White, CEO of Lucky Bloke, an online condom shop, and a condom expert. “Using an oil-based lubricant with a condom can cause the condom to leak and/or break. And unlike water-based lubes, oils do not evaporate readily. While oil is absorbed over time, that absorption rate likely varies based on many factors, including age. Oiling up internally? Now we’re talking vaginal versus anal absorption rates! The bottom line: We have not found sufficient studies to issue a reliable recommendation on what an overall safe time frame might be. So here’s the deal: Oil or condoms—choose one.”
I would add only this: Condoms made out of polyurethane are more expensive, but you can safely use them with oil-based lube. —DS
I’m a straight guy who loves the female body—the look, touch, and smell. I’m in my mid-30s, I’ve never had a serious relationship, and I don’t know if I’m capable of falling in love. I’m exclusively into trans women, and I’ve kept it a secret because it’s nobody’s business. If I were in love, I’d make it public, but that hasn’t happened. I can’t help but feel like this is an addiction, and I’m ashamed of it. I’m sure I’m not the first straight guy who’s into trans women who’s written to you. Where do I go from here? —Straight And Struggling
While dating someone in secret isn’t impossible, SAS, it rarely leads to long-term love. Being kept hidden because you’re trans (or you’re gay or you’re big) and the person you’re dating hasn’t gotten over their shame about being attracted to trans people (or members of their own sex or bigger people) … well, it sucks to be someone’s dirty secret. And a healthy trans (or gay or big) person—the kind of person you might be able to fall in love with—isn’t going to put up with that shit. So it’s a catch-22: So long as you keep the women you date a secret, none of them are going to stay in your life for long. They’ll be either so damaged you want them out of your life or not damaged enough to want you in theirs. —DS
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Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
September 19th, 2016 By Krysta Fitzpatrick
Let’s be real: Hollywood is full of assholes. I mean, the world in general is full of assholes, but the world of celebrity tends to really put the assholes on display.
While some people are really good at hiding how much of an asshole they are (apparently Zach Braff is a huge asshole. NO WAY!), other people (like, say, Mel Gibson) have more trouble concealing it. Here are 11 celebrities who’ve had a rough time hiding how big of assholes they are.
I’ve written so many blogs about how Ariana Grande is a donut licking, America hating, diva cunt. She was recently rude as fuck to poor Ryan Seacrest in an interview and more often than not her dickhead attitude outweighs her sick jams.
Taylor Swift is basically the Regina George of Hollywood. She’s the queen of her pretty, thin, white girl squad and does everything in her power to make people who have ‘scorned’ her look like assholes. She obsessed with painting herself as a victim and she lied about Kanye which was really uncool.
Aside from throwing her fiancé’s laptop out the window when he put on Beyoncé, Mariah Carey still TO THIS DAY IN 2016 pretends like she has no idea who Jennifer Lopez is. Like, never heard of her. Mariah, I get that you’re an angelic diva, but all this girl hate makes you look like a huge, petty asshole.
Do I actually have to explain why I put him on the list? Chris Brown is a fucking mess of a human who is more famous for being a chronic asshole than he is for whatever musical career he has.
Justin Bieber is a smug little asshole who I really thought would change his tune and seemed to have come to his senses after years of shit behaviour, he’s back to putting off shitty concerts because he’s hungover, being rude to fans, and jumping from one barely legal girlfriend to the next.
Diplo has always come across as an arrogant, self-obsessed asshole who has stolen other people’s art, and publicly shamed Taylor Swift’s tiny butt. He also left his unfamous baby mama while she was pregnant with their second kid so he could fuck Katy Perry for a little while. He’s a real gem.
Gwyneth Paltrow is pretentious af and is completely out of touch with reality. She thinks people who feed their kids Cup of Soup are monsters and, according to her cookbook, a $200 dinner is a good ol’ fashioned homecooked meal. Her lifestyle site Goop is borderline delusional and I think there is a good chance she’s the female Kanye West.
Speaking of Kanye, which I do think Taylor is a bitch in this whole current situation with him, there is no denying this guy a narcissistic, delusional asshole with a God complex. Don’t compare yourself to Walt fucking Disney because you dress some models up in rejected American Apparel clothes.
Katherine Heigl is a notorious bitch who is allegedly a nightmare to work with. She constantly bites the hand that feeds–refusing an Emmy nomination because she didn’t feel like her character on Grey’s Anatomy was written well enough that year, and she dissed Knocked Up even after it was a huge hit that made her lots of money and mega famous. Way to be an asshole, Katherine.
Sure Marky Mark seems best kind now, but let us never forget that he helped commit two horrific hate crimes that left one man blind. Kinnnnnd of an asshole.
I hate to diss someone who was on Buffy, but apparently all that Bones success went to his head and he is rude af to the crew and extras, and also hits on extras in a super creepy manor (has cheated on wife twice that we know of). What a dick.
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Mental Health / By
Mahevash
/ May 6, 2019 June 24, 2022
22 thoughts on “10 Asshole Traits That Are Actually Signs Of Mental Illness”
Designed with 💛 by The Designer Genie .
We all have at least one person in our lives who we consider an asshole. But did you know that the individual you have categorized as an asshole might just be someone who has or exhibits signs of some mental illness? Without further ado, let’s take a look at some of these asshole traits that may not be asshole traits after all.
Arrogance is a classic sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). A person with NPD is so drunk on self-importance that they think they are vastly superior to others, so much so that no one can rival them. Therefore, she has an over-inflated ego and spends her time exaggerating her skills, achievements, and talents. While she may appear very content and self-satisfied, in reality, she has a very fragile ego. After all, would a secure person go around bragging about her accomplishments?
While a narcissist can be very hard to deal with, try to restrain yourself from trying to take her down a peg. For if you criticize, insult, or prove her wrong, she will take revenge for her humiliation. Typically, this means that she will react with extreme aggression, play mind games, and basically leave no stone unturned in making your life miserable.
Lying with reckless abandon is one of the prime symptoms of someone with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). Similar to a narcissist, a person with ASPD is highly manipulative in nature. One of the ways in which this tendency manifests itself is chronic lying , even conning people – and just for the fun of it. Being antisocial by nature, he has very little regard for the law and other people. So don’t bother trying to stir his conscience by telling him what he is doing is outright wrong. No matter what you do, he will feel neither guilt nor remorse for actions. He is unable to feel empathy for others, so he will need professional help to get him to change his ways. Little wonder then that the colloquial term for someone with this condition is sociopath .
Lying all the time can also be a symptom of pathological lying. Pathological lying can be a symptom of antisocial personality disorder(ASPD), histrionic personality disorder(HPD) or even narcissistic personality disorder(NPD). But when someone doesn’t show other symptoms of any of the disorders, then it is simply a stand-alone disorder called pathological lying. Here the person lies compulsively repeatedly, without feeling any shame or guilt and without having a particular reason. No matter which of the above maladies your coworker is suffering from, know that you cannot fix it simply by shaming or exposing them.
If she takes everything personally, chances are high she has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This happens because of a mental state called hypervigilance, which typically translates into misreading facial expressions, misinterpreting verbal and non-verbal communication for someone with BPD. For example, if you raise your eyebrows in the middle of a serious conversation, she might accuse you of being insincere or sarcastic. Or if you are unable to help her out because you are busy, she will assume that you are refusing to help here because you are angry with her for some reason.
She isn’t trying to be dramatic or attention seeking when she thinks or says such things, because, in her heart, she truly believes it. So if you routinely find yourself being blamed for saying something you never said or meant, now you know why she is overreacting or jumping to conclusions.
Whether he has generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) or social anxiety disorder (SAD), he is going to earn a reputation of being a flake. But it isn’t fair; he bails on you because that’s just what anxiety makes you do. His anxiety convinces him that it’s better if he stays at home instead of showing up and making a fool out of himself at a social event. The thought of interacting with—and being judged by—other people gets so debilitating that he’d rather earn the uncoveted reputation of being unreliable than step out and embarrass himself . Not to mention the damage this does to his social life- the more often he cancels, the less frequently he gets invited to other events. Even his relationships suffer because people assume that he doesn’t value their time or them, so they should stop making an effort to try and spend time with him.
One of the consequences of having depression is reduced empathy. The sufferer is so wrapped up in self-pity and sorrow that she has little emotional energy to feel for others. This may result in what is known as impaired empathy, wherein she is incapable of understanding the depth of other people’s pain and suffering. She becomes apathetic as it is a coping mechanism to deal with the overwhelming nature of depression . The disorder ensures that she thinks negatively about her past, feels worthless, believes that her future is going to be just as bleak, and so on.
When she is stuck in her own head and trapped inside a fog of repetitive dark thoughts, how will she able to look outside of herself and take a walk in someone else’s shoes? That is why she barely reaches out to you when you suffer a personal tragedy like say, your pet dog dies.
If he is rigid beyond measure, there’s more than a good chance he suffers from Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) . Can you imagine what a terrible boss this makes him? OCPD is what makes him believe that it’s his way or the highway. A perfectionist by nature, he thinks that he knows best and that others should emulate his ways if they want great work to be the outcome.
His preoccupation with perfectionism is what makes him closed to new ways of doing something. He thus becomes a bully as he refuses to listen to new ideas and opinions and wants his subordinates to only do what he expects of them. Criticism comes naturally to him but he cannot take it himself, so make sure you do not criticize him as it will offend him. Expect to deal with irritants like excessive micromanagement and impossibly high standards.
Consistent suspicion and grudge-holding are two classic signs of a Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD) . Suspicion stems from her belief that people are out to deceive, exploit, or harm her. She also strongly believes that people cannot be trusted as they are unable to be loyal. With this in mind, let alone talk about personal issues, she does not share even basic personal information with others as she is afraid they will use the information she has shared in order to harm her in some way. The tendency to hold grudges also stems from this pervasive suspicion. It typically begins when she misinterprets someone’s innocent words as insulting or threatening. To her, the insult or threat is very real, and she is prone to not forgiving easily and holding a grudge for a very long time. Worse, she responds aggressively and quickly to both real and imagined insults.
Extreme suspicion and grudge-holding are also symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). A person with BPD is extremely insecure, has very low self-esteem, and therefore, tends to be suspicious. They suffer from “emotional burn”, wherein any trivial comment is perceived as a slight or an insult and they don’t forgive thereby holding grudges.
Most of us know that Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is characterized by traits like hyperactivity and inattentiveness. Due to these traits, one minute he can be excited and into a task, and the next minute he can be bored and onto another task without finishing the one he initially started. Naturally, this makes him come off as irresponsible no matter what role he is playing – employee, spouse, sibling, etc. At work or at home, he is seen as unreliable because of his poor attention span and inability to follow through with anything .
Unlike people with say, Antisocial Personality Disorder or Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, he is fully aware of his failings. He is weighed down by the chronic shame of not being able to meet others’ expectations. He also has to deal with insensitive accusations like he is failing because he is not trying hard enough. The guy is fully aware that he is a square peg in a world full of round holes.
No, I am not making this shit up. Infidelity is one of the common consequences of wh
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