Look Good Naked Men Speak Your Mind

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The webpage at https://thewildmind.wordpress.com/2010/01/03/looking-good-naked/ might be temporarily down or it may have moved permanently to a new web address.
The webpage at https://thewildmind.wordpress.com/2010/01/03/looking-good-naked/ might be temporarily down or it may have moved permanently to a new web address.

The Wild Mind
Where the untamed Muse comes out to play…
At this time of year, fitness centers typically experience an increase in membership. If you belong to a club or gym you might find that for the next eight weeks it will be tough to find an open treadmill or elliptical trainer. It seems looking good naked is on everyone’s mind after the holidays.
There is another excellent post over at Big Little Wolf’s Daily Plate of Crazy about physical appearance vs. feeling good. She brings up a number of great talking points on the topic of body image issues, being a slave to the scale and our self-esteem and how it connects to our physical appearance. We often say that our self concept shouldn’t be based on how we look but, for so many of us, it is. I maintain that for many of us, how we look matters a great deal because how we care for our bodies is often indicative of deeper feelings we have toward ourselves and our value as individuals. If we want that to change then how we go about changing our physical appearance is the first step in beginning to care about and for ourselves.
Being an ex-competitive swimmer, swim coach and cyclist, and also and ex-aerobics and fitness trainer, I know how ineffective the scale is and how it can really work against one’s efforts at getting healthy. One’s weight can fluctuate a pound or two every day and even more for some women, depending on the time of the month. In addition, if you are enslaved to the number on the scale, but you are truly about percent body fat rather than weight you might get to a place in your fitness regimen where you actually begin to gain weight while continuing to lose inches. Those who absolutely use the scale as the sole measuring device in their quest to look good naked run the risk of ignoring some better health indicators. They can become easily discouraged and frustrated. This is counterproductive to the person who really has the goal in mind of becoming a healthier, more physically fit individual.
I prefer to consider percent body fat or Body Mass Index and inches lost when I work on improving my fitness level (because muscle weighs more than fat and building muscle eats fat). One can be a size 3 and still be very fat. I don’t want that for me. I want the toned look and you can’t get that by merely losing weight on a scale you must transfer fat to muscle somehow. If you are seriously overweight or out of shape or have never really done any serious training, please do two things:
First, get a physical and a physician’s okay before you begin any exercise program. Even if you are relatively good health, this is always a smart move. 
Second, seriously consider investing in a personal trainer who will meet with you for an hour once ever two weeks for, at least, the first eight weeks of your program. Even two sessions with a personal trainer can be incredibly valuable in helping you jumpstart your motivation and your journey back to fitness.
While I know a great deal about the right things to do and the right ways to think about my body, its appearance and its health, I like many, many others have become negligent over the last decade. Sure there have been periods of good fitness, but I haven’t really stuck with them. Of course, I have to cut myself some slack. I’ve endured a pretty volatile decade personally, have been homeless and battled an emotionally abusive ex. When survival is priority one, looking good naked gets much lower priority. Even so, I’ve let go of some really great eating habits, stopped the consistent exercise and weight training program I had going and simply shifted my fitness priorities to the bottom of the list. I don’t look horrible, but I really don’t look my best. More importantly and more significantly I don’t feel my best. I find that it is when I don’t feel my best that I am most prone to worrying about my appearance, suffering a loss of confidence and self-esteem and I’m especially prone to really stupid questions like “How hot am I, really?” I hate being in that place mentally and physically. 
Big Little Wolf’s post, my own personal journey to date, and experiences like these are crystallizing for me a sense of direction as I consider my own health and levels of fitness. Note that I did not say weight loss program. Because for me, though weight loss will inevitably be an outcome I hope to accomplish,, I am not venturing down this road with that goal in mind. In my post, two days ago, I spoke of moving toward a healthier lifestyle. It’s true, I want to look good naked because that mirror in my bathroom is not exactly gentle in revealing the truth about my physical appearance, but I most certainly and more importantly want to feel good all of the time, not just naked. I don’t just want to get smaller, I want to get better. And better, might not necessarily weigh that much less, but it will look better naked. It will walk further and faster. It will not get winded. And, since I am the one looking at myself in the mirror, groaning daily with disappointment in myself about the extra pounds I’ve packed on and the muscle tone I’ve lost, and feeling disappointed with what I see (because the disappointment represents not beauty or lack thereof, but a deeper sense of loss) then looking good naked becomes important to no one…else…but me. I’m the only one that matters. It is indeed a deeply personal journey, but one with very visible results.
But there is something even more significant at play here for me. It is that idea of feeling comfortable in my own skin. It is that idea that it is what it is and it is the best I can do so who cares what anyone else thinks. Now, realistically I know, I should feel this way no matter what I weigh or what my muscle tone is, but the reality is, this is not the case for me. Because the big reality is this, how we feel inside our own skin is largely determined by our fitness levels. Our fitness levels often determine whether or not we look and perform at optimum levels. All of those things conspire to impact our self image and our confidence in our abilities in other areas. True, self acceptance no matter what, is important. I’m not suggesting we all have to be stellar examples of fitness and brawn, but when our ability to function at our best each day is implicated, then I suggest that’s the time to really rethink our health and our habits. Feeling comfortable in our own skin is more about doing the best we can with what we’ve got under the circumstances and I, for one, am not doing the best I can right now. Not even close. This bothers me. It bothers me enough to make a change. For me, it’s what 2010 is going to be about.
So, yes, yesterday, I pulled out the tape measure, hopped on the scale and took the front-back-side before pictures in my bikini. Not because I intend to obsess over every little thing I eat or don’t eat. Not because I intend to go on a crash starvation diet or crazy workout plan to burn that fat fast. I’m smarter than that. And, though I know my body will quickly respond to increased exercise and improved diet due to its past fitness, the reason I am doing it is not to get skinny…it is to change my lifestyle. It is to change my thinking. It is to become comfortable in my own skin. Taking the measurements now, before I’ve really begun will help me gauge my progress and will motivate me to keep going. It gives me a starting point.
While this is about looking good naked on one level, it is also about so much more than looking good naked because whenever one begins a journey of this nature there are mental challenges that must be faced and obstacles that must be overcome. I’d like to suggest that the journey toward improved health for me will be less a journey of fitness than a supreme course in character development. I will need to test my commitment. I will be forced to persevere. I will need to focus and stay focused and that, because I am so easily distracted, will be challenge enough. I will need to flex and adapt to a schedule that changes dramatically twice a year while still keeping up my regimen of good eating and daily activity. I will need to make some hard choices that won’t be pleasant or instantaneously gratifying (like that second glass of wine or that extra helping of pasta or saying no when I’m just not hungry) if I am to move myself into a place that bodes well for the health and longevity of this physical thing I call my body, not to mention the mind and spirit that it contains. It won’t “feel” good sometimes at first, at others it will feel better than anything. It will require me to flex my discipline muscles, tone my determination, and exercise my mental fortitude and push my commitment to my own improvement to the limits.
But that’s the cost for every one who would accomplish anything of value. 
I know from experience this is a rocky journey, especially with full-time work and children. It is a journey most women ignore through their child bearing years and then have to play huge catch-up with once the babies are gone. I know I spent years telling myself that chasing around toddlers and going up and down stairs for laundry.
I started my healthy journey in September of 2007. It is ongoing and will continue through 2010.
I’m totally with you on this – love that you aren’t calling it a weight loss/diet thing, because you’re right, it’s more than that. It’s a life change, not a short term goal. Good luck!!
I have words to say on this subject. Some of you will not like my words because they are tough, but they are plain and simple fact.
Looking good naked, physical fitness, health, whatever you want to call it, all boils down to the same thing. Self discipline. You either have it or you do not have it. You can rationalize, euphemize, philosophize, bullshit, kid yourself, whatever, but if you want to lose the weight, you are going to lose it. If you do not want to, you won’t. It is as simple as that.
There is no easy way to do it and this is why fad diets do not work. They do not teach you self discipline, without which, all such endeavours are ultimately doomed.
I work with a bunch of ladies who eat lunch together every day at the same time. All of them are quite large with brobdingnabian butts that would intimidate a hippo in a hula-hoop contest. Yet, every day I watch them sit at their table eating these tiny, petite salads that do not appear to have a single calorie in them. Yet, week after week, month after month, year after year, those Godzilla-like butts grow no smaller. If anything, most of them have grown larger.
This is evidence of a great truth. These ladies are vying with one another to give the appearance of being serious dieters, but as soon as they get home from work they are rushing for their fridges after that leftover pizza, chocolate chip ice cream, sugar doughnuts, kentucky fried chicken, banana cream pie, mashed potatoes and country gravy, chicken-fried steak, pistachio pudding, pork rinds, root beer floats, ad infinitum.
No one is better at bullshitting themselves than fat people. They are able to endlessly rationalize in order to have an excuse to keep shoveling german brand weiners and peanut butter sandwiches into their mouths. An example is the street folklore that has been going around for several years in the circles of the baluga-butted unfortunates. This folklore says that if you cut down on your eating your body thinks you are starving and will not lose weight.
This, and make no mistake about it, is pure and total self-serving nonsense. If the body stopped losing weight when you stop eating, there would obviously be no such thing as starvation in the world. We could just tell all the starving people on our planet, “Hey, all you have to do is stop eating and you will be fine.” The human body is not a perpetual motion machine and it takes the burning of x amount of calories to generate x amount of necessary energy, period. No matter what you do or how you do it, it will still take x amount of calories to generate x amount of energy, perilod. You can no more change this than you can the speed of light. For things to be otherwise would mean that the laws of thermodynamics are flawed and the greatest physicists on the planet are full of hydrogen sulphide.
The first you have to do if you want to lose weight, is to stop lying to yourself. Stop the rationalizing, stop the excusing. Most of us know what has calories and what does not. If you don’t know, it is rather simple. If it tastes good, stop eating it. Period. When you go to the supermarket, do not go down the potato chip aisle, do not go down the soda aisle, do not go down the deli aisle, do not go down the dairy aisle. Especially stay away from the Butter Finger aisle and that evil little woman with the white chef’s hat who wants to hand you free samples.
If it has been processed, pressed, chipped, mixed, powdered, puttied, salted, spread, baked, fried, hydrogenated, creamed, frosted, deviled or breaded, DO NOT EAT IT!
There is a whole big, wonderful, nutritious, healthy, wholesome, sexy, vitamin-laden pile of things that are good for you in the supermarket. It is called the Produce Section. If you make this your only stop in the supermarket, I can guarantee you that your elephantine buns will swiftly shrink. I promise it. Your cellulite will vanish into the dark caverns of hell from which it came. The fatty apron that prevents you from seeing your toes when you look down will mysteriously go away. Your boobs will become two separate entities again instead of one big blob with two nipples on it.
Self discipline. Think about these words. Look them up in the dictionary if necessary. Meditate on them while sitting in a tub full of carrots. Self discipline. It will free you.
Well, Custis, though it wasn’t exactly PC, and you might get some comments in response (in fact, I hope you do…and I know you do too!), I am going to reserve my response to your response for a blog post all its own. Look for it.
Well Custis, I’m calling ignorance, assumptions, generalizations, and bullshit on your remarks. No offense.
Let’s make this assumption, shall we? Healthy eating, reasonable exercise, even an acceptable ‘healthy” weight. What about illness that knocks you on your ass, and your body takes a hit and is never he same? What about an accident that robs you of your ability to exercise? What about the birth of multiple babies, that leaves (normal) traces on the flesh, that a tight-ab-obsessed and superficial culture would suggest requires 5 hours of major surgery in which a woman is sliced open, hip to hip, flesh and muscle cut, hoisted, tossed, battened down, then stitched up with a 4 to 6 month recovery and permanent scarring the price (not to mention the actual price) of this happy process?
I dare say your assumption of a life in which there are no dependencies, no “issues” of situational stressors beyond the individual’s control is – at best – ignorant.
Real life has other things in store, for men and women both. I venture to say that emotional and physical health come in all sizes, shapes, weights, and other variations. And those of us who hang in, as loving and contributing parents, children, siblings, lovers, members of a community are far more than a pair of perky breasts, tight cheeks, or a shadow figure to be passed by.
Loved it, BLW!
I took a way different approach in my blog post response to Custis, but I agree wholeheartedly with you. While my personal journey here is about improving my health I also want to go on record as saying that I am moment my moment completely grateful that I can. I am incredibly grateful that I have enough fitness and strength still in me to improve my situation. I have good friends who due to severe health issues and who are much younger than I cannot even contemplate the journey I am on. My heart breaks for them because I know they would love to be out on the slopes skiing or running trails, but they, instead, are imprisoned inside bodies that fail them as all of ours eventually do and must.
I dare say your assumption of a life in which there are no dependencies, no “issues” of situational stressors beyond the individual’s control is – at best – ignorant.
Real life has other things in store, for men and women both. I venture to say that emotional and physical health come in all sizes, shapes, weights, and other variations. And those of us who hang in, as loving and contributing parents, children, siblings, lovers, members of a community are far more than a pair of perky breasts, tight cheeks, or a shadow figure to be passed by.
This brought tears to my eyes, because, this is what our slice-and-dice image oriented culture tends to forget with families often paying the price because so many in error adopt these views. This also underscores for me how very, very important that internal journey of patience, kindness (to myself and others less fortunate), respect (always a biggie) and humility are going to be.
And, please, to all my readers, never ever hear me say that this is easy or that “If I can do it you can too”. It’s a very individual and personal journey with a lot of spiritual and emotional elements tied to it for me which I have not shared here. This really is not about “just looking good naked”. The goal to get in shape is just the starting point, the “looking good naked” is just a bonus, the real deal is what will happen inside me, hopefully translating out to those in my world as the result.
I’m just so feeling another post brewing here!
Custis – I am totally floored that a human being would say these things about another human being.
First, cellulite. The prevailing medical opinion is that it is merely the “normal condition of many women and some men.” (MedlinePlus Encyclopedia, Cellulite) This does not mean it will vanish when the produce aisle is visited.
Now, self discipline. While will power and self discipline do come into play with changing one’s lifestyle, they are not the only players. There is the environment, the current lifestyle, the new lifestyle to be strived for. Then there are the pieces to the person’s environment – what the body has been through already, children if female, previous surgeries, previous workout abilities. There are more but these are a few.
Nothing in the realm of the human being is as simple as you make it out to be. There is the mother who eats nothing but crap so she can afford the produce you mention for her growing children. There is the father who buys the cheapest thing in the grocery as he has paid his money to his ex-wife and his
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