Long Term Orgasm Denial

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Long Term Orgasm Denial
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Carina Hsieh
Sex & Relationships Editor
Carina Hsieh lives in NYC with her French Bulldog Bao Bao — follow her on Instagram and Twitter • Candace Bushnell once called her the Samantha Jones of Tinder • She enjoys hanging out in the candle aisle of TJ Maxx and getting lost in Amazon spirals. 


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While an orgasm can usually be an indicator of good sex, sometimes the lack of an orgasm makes sex even better. For some, orgasm denial, or the practice of intentionally refraining for orgasm is the ultimate goal. Dr. Carol Queen , PhD and Staff Sexologist at Good Vibrations , explains everything you wanted to know about orgasm denial but were too afraid to ask:
1. It's generally done within the context of a dominant and submissive partner. Queen explains that with orgasm denial, one partner usually orders the other partner not to orgasm, or one partner puts their ability to orgasm in the power of their partner.
2. But it can also be practiced alone. Queen also mentions that the solo form of this could be seen as a form of self-control or dedicating themselves to something other than sexual feeling.
3. Even though an orgasm isn't on the menu, sex is still pleasurable. Queen explains: "Being brought to high states of arousal can be super sexy to some people, and the added element of control by a partner one is devoted to can be really thrilling."
4. It's not the same as "edging" though it is similar. The two practices both delay orgasm, but have different end goals. While "edging" refers to the act of drawing out simulation for a long period of time, the eventual goal is orgasm. Queen explains that with orgasm denial however, that may not be the result.
5. There are several types of orgasm denial. There's teasing: Queen explains is being aroused and brought to the brink of orgasm (kind of like edging), with a power and control aspect. Then there's bondage-assisted denial: the person being denied orgasm is restrained and their experience of powerlessness is even more intense. Then chastity devices (using penis cages, "Gates of Hell" penis rings, chastity belts, etc.) and keyholding (when one partner holds the key to the other's chastity device). And finally: solo orgasm denial.
6. It's considered an extreme form of dominance and submission in BDSM. Says Queen, "[Orgasm denial] can really deepen the erotic control bond between [dominant and submissive] partners," and notes that some people find that their orgasms after practicing orgasm denial are especially intense.
7. You might find it helpful to experiment with more role play activities with dominance and submission before you try this in bed with a partner. If you're masturbating, Queen suggests holding off on orgasming for longer and longer periods. However, Queen notes that if you're with a partner, starting with simpler role play like one partner being bossier in bed, or a partner serving another around the house, could be helpful before getting into more immersive experimentation like full-on orgasm denial.
8. Orgasm denial comes with a lot more sex toy options. Chastity devices for men and women are readily available to fit you and your partner's needs. Of course, Queen adds, you can also use regs vibrators, dildos, and other bondage gear.
Shop Now Chastity Penis Cage, DOMINIX (Available on Lovehoney), $57

Home M C Health & Maintenance Effects Of Long Term Orgasm Denial

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Something that we don’t necessarily consider when embarking on a chastity lifestyle, is the effects of long term orgasm denial, as well as the denying of the body to achieve and maintain erections. This article aims to explore some of the research behind a chastity lifestyle and answer some of your questions that you might be having.
Will Chastity Affect My Erections? Does Orgasm Denial Affect My Health?
Looking these questions up, and you’ll find that there’s simply not a lot of information out there. The information that is out there is limited in the sense that it’s by personal opinions, statements from people in chastity and so on and so forth. The thing is when it comes to online information, it can often be skewed, misleading or downright untruthful. Male chastity is a legitimate kink that a number of males out there regularly practice in. Anyone that can explore the realms of Tumblr will note the myriad of photos, and different people that are performing in chastity and the world’s most popular chastity device the Cb-6000 has reported thousands and thousands of units being sold worldwide. Frequent ejaculation is a necessary bodily requirement with the body needing to remove sperm and other bodily fluids on a regular basis. You might have seen articles on the idea that frequent ejaculation is good for your prostate health , so what would the effects of long term orgasm denial be for the body?
So rather than trying to gather information about long term orgasm denial from a random on the internet, let’s ask a board certified urologist and ask him the health and safety questions which you might have been thinking.
The body has a built in system for dealing with infrequent ejaculation, and that is usually in the form of involuntary nocturnal ejaculations known as wet dreams. This action is vital for the system to remove sperm and other fluids in sperm to ensure a fresh supply and to remove excess fluid and prevent a build-up. Prostatic fluid, one of the major components of ejaculate fluid, is produced by the prostate. The fluid is being continually produced by the prostate, which is a partly muscular gland. Owing to the fact that the gland is partly muscular it is imperative that it be used frequently to prevent the muscle from weakening. However, research on this topic is scarce, and generally has little medical backing. The medical articles that have been written on ejaculation, don’t consider the effects of long term orgasm denial and instead write along the lines of infrequent ejaculation and the tolerance of a prostate. Each individual has a tolerance level, which varies among men, and infrequent ejaculation can lead to an inflammation of the prostate which can result in various types of prostatitis and other forms of bacterial infections. The length of time that this would occur in, varies between men.
“I’ve never had a patient ask me about using, or admit to using, a male chastity device,” said Stephen H. King, a urologist based in Washington State. “And I cannot find any reference in medical/urological literature.”
So, bearing that in mind, what would he do to advise a patient who had asked him about wearing a male chastity device? “As a urologist, my primary concern is long-term health and preservation of erectile function through the natural aging processes, so I tend to err on the cautious side, especially in someone young with many good erections ahead of him,” said Dr. King. King would advise against the use of long term orgasm denial and the wearing of chastity devices if it ‘places any significant compression on the tissue’. Any device that does this should therefore not be worn for extended periods of time with King suggesting that such devices not be worn for more than “four to six hours” and this would also include the use of sounds for penis plug play.
There are some guys which wear chastity devices which have invested in custom fitted and specific cock cages that will support their genitals – and it should be noted that a custom fitted device is far less likely to put on significant compression which King finds concerning. So if the cock cage or cock sleeve for men being used has been properly measured to fit the penis , and there’s no undue compression or reliance on tight cock rings to maintain its position, would this change the opinion?
The response is that if there is no compression from the cock ring, or the penile tissue is not in a state of compression from being placed in a space which is too small – then the cage would be safe for longer use. The risk and the danger then comes in from wearing the device overnight, as the body is thought to regulate the muscles of the penis through nocturnal erections – these spontaneous erections are generally considered to be the body’s way of stretching the vascular and erectile tissues to keep it healthy. Medical professionals generally do not see the prevention of erections as being healthy, but studies are non-existent and proof of long term effects are not currently known.
It should be noted that there are no cases which have been pursued where an individual has claimed that a CB-6000 or other male sex toy such as a different chastity device, has caused damage to them, or been responsible for a loss of sexual function. Other urologists were consulted, including those that deal with trauma, and none were aware of any cases that specifically involved chastity, orgasm denial or anything of the sort.
It needs to be remembered that chastity devices are not sold as medical items, and are instead sold as novelty items for “novelty use”. The FDA does not regulate them, nor does any governing bodies around the world that regulate goods into the country place any restriction novelty items. However, so long as the device isn’t so tight as to cause any issues, then you shouldn’t be having any long term issues, or any issues at all through the wearing of chastity devices.
In the end, chastity play is not something which should be feared, nor is this article attempting to persuade you not to embark on a chastity life style – we are simply presenting to you the concerns regarding chastity and the evidence that has been presented thus far in response to these concerns. This website will be updated regularly with any additions, and we actively encourage to submit any research that you have come across so that we can update accordingly. Chastity is something that is fun, should be taken slow with consideration given to the body. Follow that simple sentence and you’ll be reaping the benefits of chastity play in no time.
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That brings me to the topic of this post: ‘How long should orgasm denial last?” I landed on this topic because there was some discussion in the comments of the last post alluding to permanent orgasm denial and whether or not the male really needs to orgasm. My position on this is that, Yes, the male needs to orgasm on occasion. There are a few reasons for this. First, I think it is healthy for males to ejaculate every now and then. I’m not a doctor so that’s just my opinion on the physical health. However, I do know that for some guys, it is important to have that release for mental health. Many guys have reported that they get irritable, angry, or depressed with long-term denial. In the comments on the last post Philip shared an experience about this. My husband often becomes annoying with extended denial periods because his hormones run wild and he can not leave me alone. That is when I know it’s time to allow an orgasm for him.
The wife needs to be aware of these signs and monitor their husband’s behavior and attitude to determine if his ment al stability is being affected by the denial. Relief needs to be provided before he explodes with anger or depression. This reminds me of the movies, when you see someone watching a pressure gauge that slowly rises and hits the red mark. Then everything starts to rattle and shake under the pressure and then inevitably there is an explosion. Yikes! We don’t want any explosions!
The submissive also has a responsibility to communicate to his wife if he is feeling too much pressure and having negative feelings. Joan discussed this in her comments in the last post. This is tricky as denial is a bit of a game and the wife is often pushing limits and challenging the husband’s desire to orgasm. For this reason, guys only should bring this to the wife when they feel the denial is having a material negative effect on them. Otherwise they are undermining the trust in the relationship. If the guy is sincere and honest in how he feels, the wife should accept what he is saying and come up with a plan to address the issue.
Another reason that men should not be permanently denied, is that (in my opinion) permanent denial reduces the wife’s power and control and takes away the excitement of tease and denial. If the husband knows there is no possibility of cumming, then what motivation is there for him obey her? Allowing an orgasm is a big reward for men and when they have hope that their obedience and servitude will eventually lead to an orgasm, it keeps them motivated. Additionally, part of the fun in teasing and denial, is keeping him wondering when his orgasm will happen.
One final thought against permanent denial is that I believe all married couples should experience mutual orgasms during sex every now and then down. It’s intimate and almost spiritual when that happens. I know some dominant women forbid their husbands from having intercourse with them. I respect that approach and understand that it can be an exciting power dynamic, but I do think they are missing out on something very special.
Now that I ruled out permanent denial, let’s move on to the question of how long should denial last. The answer varies and depends on several factors, including: the wife’s desires, the husband’s tolerance for denial, and what the wife wants to accomplish with denial. 
With OC, the wife ultimately decides when the husband can orgasm. Her desires are what matter most. Some women enjoy seeing their husband have an orgasm and enjoy feeling him orgasm during sex. If that is what she desires, then short-term denial probably works best. Even if the wife wants her husband to orgasm every time during sex, she can still practice OC. She does this by requiring him to always ask for permission to orgasm or telling him he is not allowed to orgasm until she gives permission. So while he knows he will ultimately orgasm, he has no idea of the exact moment. It is very powerful when a wife commands ‘cum for me’ and the husband instantly explodes into orgasm. She also practices OC by forbidding him from masturbating to orgasm at any time, unless she gives permission to do so. She can also employ denial through teasing. She can tease him over and over to the edge of orgasm and he has no idea when she will finally allow him to orgasm. Some of my most fun and intense sessions with Thomas have been when I’ve teased him endlessly and then suddenly allowed him to orgasm.
While there are some women the enjoy seeing their husband orgasm, other women have little desire for it. In fact, many women don’t like the sticky mess so they are more than happy to incorporate denial into their routine. For these women, medium ( 1 – 4 weeks) denial or long-term denial (1+ months) can work well.
The husband’s tolerance for denial also needs to be considered when deciding how long denial should last. When it comes to long-term denial, not all men are created equal. Some can deal with it and for some men it makes them go off the rails. A man’s tolerance can change over time. His age, libido, and experience with denial affect his tolerance. Younger men tend to have a much higher libido and need for orgasm and so medium and long-term denial may be too big of a challenge for them. Trying longer term denial with younger guys or guys with is high sex drive often leads to accidental orgasms or may result in irritability, stress, and anger. Older men tend to have lower libidos and can usually handle longer term denial. For many older men, orgasm denial helps increase their libido and so they love it.
Regardless of age, most men can not handle long-term denial right from the beginning. It usually takes lots of practice and training for a boy to build up the tolerance to be denied long-term. From my experiences and from what I have heard from others, most people start off with short-term denial (a few days) and the progress slowly to long term denial (1+ months). I would imagine the most guys new to orgasm denial would not even fathom going 2+ weeks without an orgasm. The interesting thing about orgasm teasing and denial is that it can easily turn into an addiction for both husband and wife. As the wife realizes increasing power and control through the use of OC, as well the joy of being pampered and pleasured without having to worry about the husband having an orgasm, it becomes more exciting for her and the addiction grows. Likewise the addiction grows for the husband when he discovers the intense pleasure of being edged and when he experiences the wonderful submissive emotions from being subject to OC.  Ironically, the more he experiences the desperation to orgasm, the more he craves the denial. In the beginning it may be inconceivable to the guy to be denied orgasm for several days in a row. He may even be resistant to the idea. However, when pushed and challenged by the wife to go longer, it creates a thrilling dynamic and that’s when many guys suddenly understand the joy of denial and begin to develop an addiction to it. It is not uncommon for guys experienced with orgasm denial, who have learned to control their orgasm, to want to go for very long periods of denial and to even be disappointed when they are allowed to orgasm because they are enjoying the thrill of denial so much. Even though they are begging to orgasm, deep down they want to hear their wife say ‘no’, and they love the erotic high they are getting from being denied. Therefore, if you are a Female experimenting with denying your husband, do not be afraid to push the limits with denial.  That is part of the excitement for the guy. On the flip side, I do not like to let Thomas get too comfortable with his denial. I typically allow him an orgasm once every 2 -3 months. Sometimes it’s shorter and sometimes it’s longer. Guys that are kept on a long-term denial schedule can forget about the pleasure of having regular orgasms and so it becomes easy for them to handle orgasm denial. When this happens, they gain a bit of control in the relationship. Ladies, we can’t let that happen! When I feel that Thomas has mastered the long-term denial and that it is becoming easy or routine for him, I will switch it up. I will unexpectedly switch to short-term denial, allowing him to orgasm a few weeks in a row or maybe even twice in a week. Now suddenly he is enjoying the new routine and remembering the joy and pl
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