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How to Manage Sexual Desire in Long-Distance Relationships

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A Provider's Guide to Assessing Sexual Issues
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One of the most difficult challenges a couple can go through is being forced to live apart. Whether it be because one gets a job elsewhere and the other can't relocate, or you meet someone special in a different city, trying to navigate the pitfalls of a relationship while you're living in different places can be a flat out nightmare.
Although there is no research regarding therapist attitudes toward long-distance relationships, a casual poll would likely have mixed ideas about how healthy they really are. However, a study of 474 women and 253 men in long-distance relationships and 314 women and 111 men in geographically-close relationships found that the distance isn't the problem, but instead "individual characteristics and relationship quality" (Dargie, Blair, Goldfinger & Pukall, 2015). Plus, for those therapists who adhere to attachment theory, Diamond (2019) writes that with new technology, long-distance relationships do not always disrupt "psychobiological linkage" between partners.
With the advent of instant messaging and Skype, it's simpler than ever to be in communication with a significant other when they are in another city, state, or country. That said, there are some things that Skype can't replace: physical touch.
The Importance of Sex in a Relationship
When you're in a new (or even old) relationship, the urge to touch the other person can be irresistible. That urge is no less intense when you're in a long-distance relationships (LRD) . The problem, of course, is that you can't touch them because they aren't there. This can lead to feelings of frustration and detachment as you are missing an arguably key part of a romantic relationship.
This is just one of the reasons why LDRs can be so taxing on both people. Partners want to "be there" for each other, but they can't. This situation can lead to tons of sexual frustration, but it doesn't have to.
As a sex therapist, you may end up working with couples in LDRs through Skype or in person. If so, here are some strategies to help manage sexual desire while in a long-distance relationship.
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