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Why are small children so obsessed with their genitals, and what do you do if your 3 year old starts fiddling with himself in the supermarket?!
Does your child seem fascinated with genitals – both his own and other people’s? Don’t worry: according to experts, his interest is a normal part of his development.
Masturbation is a common childhood habit that starts early.
“Babies naturally explore their bodies and if something feels pleasurable, they want to repeat it,” says Viviane Green , child psychotherapist at London’s Anna Freud Centre .
“Young children also masturbate as a source of comfort, much like thumb-sucking, so you might find them doing it when they’re tired or anxious.”
During toilet training, youngsters become more aware of their genitals and how they differ from the opposite sex, particularly if they have an opposite-sex sibling. This can have amusing consequences.
“Adelaide refused to sit on the toilet to wee – she kept saying, ‘Mackenzie doesn’t sit down, so why should I?’ It was only after several weeks of trying, unsuccessfully, to wee standing up that she realised copying her brother was a non-starter,” recalls Anna, mum to Mackenzie, 5, and Adelaide, 3½.
While some little girls wish they had a willy, others, like Chloe, 5, definitely do not.
“Chloe’s very happy to be different from her three brothers, but doesn’t like them teasing her about it and already values her privacy,” says Emily, Chloe's mum.
Once they can talk, children have no qualms about commenting on people’s body parts – even if their observations aren’t complimentary.
“When Lacey was 2½ she went up to her nursery teacher, pressed her bosoms and said, ‘Why have you got flat boobies? My mummy doesn’t have flat boobies,’” admits Lacey’s mum, Samantha.
“Fortunately, the teacher saw the funny side and proceeded to explain to the class that people – and their boobies – come in all shapes and sizes.”
Comparing private parts is a favourite activity of many young children, particularly from around the age of 4, when curiosity about other people’s bodies really kicks in.
“Alfie, my 5 year old, is the only uncircumcised boy in his class. When a friend and her son (also uncircumcised) came to stay, I heard Alfie, who’d kindly taken 3-year-old Jake to the toilet, exclaim, ‘Hey, you haven’t got a Jewish willy either.’ I also recently found Alfie and his mate with their trousers down showing each other their bottoms,” says Alfie’s mum, Becky.
Apparently this is all quite normal. “Little kids love taking their clothes off, and most of the time it’s harmless. Obviously, if the game is getting rough or a child isn’t enjoying it, you should intervene,” says Viviane Green.
Great, so knowing our kids are having the odd fiddle is nothing to worry about. But what if they happen to be doing it in public?
Suzie Hayman , spokesperson for Parentline Plus , a national charity that works for and with parents, believes the worst thing you can do if a child is masturbating is tell him off.
“Telling a child that his genitals are something to be ashamed of can affect how he feels about himself later. I’ve seen lots of adults who think of themselves as disgusting because of negative messages they received as children,” Suzie says.
But surely, as far as playing with one’s privates is concerned, there’s a time and a place, even when you’re 2 years old?
“Yes,” says Suzie, “and we need to teach our children that – we just have to do it in the right way. Explain that touching your body is fine, but it’s something people do when they’re alone. Distract younger children with a toy or give them something else they can do with their hands. Never tell them it’s wrong,” she advises.
But in practice it’s not always that simple. “Taylor was playing with himself one day as my mum was about to walk in. Knowing she’d disapprove, I asked him to stop. But he just said, “Why? It feels nice,”’ laughs Siobhan, mum to Taylor, aged 5.
“The problem for some parents is that they, themselves, grew up in an atmosphere in which masturbation was frowned upon, so they panic when they see their own children doing it, says Suzie.
“It’s important to stay calm. If you react strongly you’re giving your child the impression he’s done something wrong and you’re also giving him lots of attention, which might make him do it more.”
Experts stress that how we respond to our children when they’re young will determine whether or not they feel able to talk to us about sex and body parts later.
Dr Polly Carmichael , consultant clinical psychologist at Great Ormond Street Hospital , believes we shouldn’t make a big deal of these matters.
“Let children know that talking about genitals is fine – they’re just another part of the body. And reassure them that everyone is different – kids can get very anxious about this,’ Polly says.
Using pet names for genitals can be helpful, although experts recommend we also teach toddlers the correct ones.
Mum Jacqui taught 6-year-old Emilia the word vagina early on and got more than she bargained for. “For weeks it was Emilia’s favourite word – I even heard her telling her dolls about their vaginas. Luckily, she eventually lost interest,” Jacqui recalls.
So as parents we should lighten up about kids and genitals. But is there ever a time when a child’s fascination with them could be a cause for concern?
“If a little one is masturbating constantly, there might be something going on in his life that’s causing him anxiety,” says Polly Carmichael. “If a youngster seems overly sexualised – if he’s trying to copy adult sexual acts or using adult language – he may have been exposed to something inappropriate. If you’re worried, keep an eye on him or talk to your GP or health visitor.”
Such cases, however, are the exception. Ninety nine times out of a hundred, young children fiddling with their genitals is entirely normal and as they get older, most do it less or in private.
“When I asked my son once why he was playing with his willy he replied, ‘Because it’s fun.’ And who can argue with that?”

Материал из Википедии — свободной энциклопедии
Lolita City — веб-сайт, находившийся в зоне .onion анонимной сети Tor . Сайт представлял собой онлайн-галерею детской порнографии с фотографиями моделей женского и мужского пола от младенческого до 17-летнего возраста [1] (18 лет является минимальным легальным возрастом моделей для съёмок в порнографии в большинстве стран мира) [2] [3] .

Please note that low-quality images with no realistic educational use nor a purpose within the Wikimedia projects may be deleted . For further information, see Commons:Nudity .

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Even though I was convinced Tamsin had been telling the truth, still a tiny part of me had hoped it was all a mistake


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In seconds my world came tumbling down
Emma Charles thought that she and her family were living a normal life. But then she discovered that her husband had been sexually abusing their daughter Tamsin since the age of ten. Twelve years on, Emma recalls that devastating day and the traumatic events that followed
In many ways, we were an ordinary family – mum, dad, two kids, a Volvo in the drive. And in some ways we weren’t so ordinary. As a ship’s engineer, my husband Daniel worked away from home for up to four months at a time. But I never for a moment dreamt that we were extraordinary – until that day.
It started out fine, that Tuesday in December 1996. Our younger daughter, Claire, 13, was at school, and I was looking forward to spending some time with Tamsin, who had just broken up for the holidays. At 15, she was a weekly boarder at a specialist school for high-ability dyslexics.
We chatted about what she was going to do. That was when the first hint of discord arose. Tamsin and I squabbled, like all mothers and daughters. But that day she was impervious to reasoned argument. She began making hurtful personal attacks on her father and me, something she had never done. At bedtimewe kissed goodnight, but for the first time we parted with a coolness between us.
The following evening, I was in the living room when she burst in, flung a piece of paper at me and stormed out. ‘I have to leave or he has to,’ she had written. ‘And you seem to need him. And f*** you, you probably won’t believe me anyway.’ She was talking about her father – telling me that he had been sexually abusing her for the past five years. In the seconds it took me to absorb her words, my world came tumbling down.
I found her down the road with her dog. ‘Come home and tell me about it,’ I begged. She looked into my eyes and must have been reassured by what she saw. ‘He won’t leave me alone,’ she cried. ‘He’s always feeling me up. He brushes against my breasts so I know it’s not accidental, but he could persuade someone else it was.’
Hope blossomed in my mind. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, an over-tactile father who would have to learn to respect his daughter’s personal space. ‘Has he ever touched you between your legs?’ I asked. ‘Last time he was home on leave,’ she sobbed.
Tears were falling from my eyes as I looked up the number for social services and picked up the phone. I just knew I had to do the right thing. 
Daniel and I had been married for 18 years. I was 27 when we met, working as a medical photographer; he was a year older and at college, studying for his Second Engineer’s certificate. He was tall and slim with auburn hair and blue-grey eyes and a full beard and moustache. And he was gentle, laid-back – all the things I wasn’t. Within a week, I had decided he was the man with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. We married the following year.
I hadn’t wanted children. It was Daniel who felt that we wouldn’t be a ‘proper family’ without them. Tamsin was conceived two years after our wedding, and Claire came along two and a half years after that. As it turned out, I loved being a mother and Daniel was good with the girls as babies. But as they grew up, he changed. His own parents had been authoritarian, and not reluctant to use a belt to hit their children. He, too, resorted to smacking and violence.
One incident in particular stands out. When the girls were seven and four, I noticed ‘fingertip’ bruising on Claire’s arm. I really went for Daniel, threatening to kick him out if he couldn’t control his temper. He was angry with me for taking him to task; but when he realised I was serious, he backed down and apologised. Over and over again, we talked about what was reasonable behaviour and over and over he agreed with me. But his efforts to improve never lasted long.
Why did I stay with him if things were so bad? Well, they weren’t bad all the time. Mostly, we had a good family life. I knew the harm that divorce causes to children. I still loved Daniel and I thought we could make it work. Until that day.
Tamsin, aged four, and her 18-month-old sister, Claire
Daniel was in the Far East when Tamsin wrote her devastating note. Social services set up an appointment for the following Monday. Meanwhile, I had to address another horrible thought. Gently, I asked Claire if her dad had ever touched her. ‘He used to come and give me back rubs,’ she replied. ‘But I liked that…’ ‘Nothing else?’ I asked. ‘He asked me to take off my T-shirt, but I just said no. And once he tried to give me a tummy rub, but I wouldn’t let him.’
It was becoming clearer now. Claire has always been an upfront child. Whenever anything was worrying her, she would come and tell me. If only Tamsin had been the same.
I’m not going to describe Tamsin’s statement to social services. Listening to her engraved pictures on my mind which I still have trouble banishing today. The police also took statements and arranged a medical examination. Several weeks later, Daniel was arrested as he stepped off a flight from Jakarta. DC Barbara White from the sexual offences unit called later to tell me: ‘He’s admitted everything. It’s a very credible confession. He wants me to tell you that he’s never raped Tamsin, and he’s never been unfaithful to you with anyone else.’
I cried my eyes out. Even though I was convinced Tamsin had been telling the truth, still a tiny part of me had hoped it was all a mistake.
Daniel was bailed, with strict conditions not to approach either Tamsin or me. I had imagined that he would be feeling crushed and placatory. I was soon to discover how little I knew him. Within a few days, a letter from him arrived informing me that his mother was bitter that I had not kept our troubles ‘within the family’. So that was it. I was to be blamed for reporting the abuse. This was my first experience of the denial which abusers use to protect themselves from acknowledging the harm they have caused. Who is protected by dealing with such matters within the family? Only the abuser.
For the sexual assault on his daughter, Daniel was sentenced to 12 months’ imprisonment and placed on the Sex Offenders Register for five years. The case took ten months to come to court and was finally heard in October 1997. When people asked me that year how I was coping, I said I had pencilled in a nervous breakdown for November. In the event, it didn’t happen. I didn’t have the time. Tamsin needed all my energy.
Tamsin went downhill quickly. The first signs were strange attacks, which she called freakies. They are difficult to describe. Her body was there, but the rational person that was Tamsin disappeared. Instead there was a frightened creature which threw itself at walls and on the floor, and scratched itself incessantly. I spent many evenings desperately holding her hands to stop her scratching out her eyes until the prescribed tranquilliser could take effect.
For a while, she underwent counselling and we got a brief glimpse of the old Tamsin – a normal teenager full of fun and laughter. But then she went downhill again. Two years after she first disclosed the abuse, she was admitted to a psychiatric hosp
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