Lofi Music Makes This Emo Teen Horny

Lofi Music Makes This Emo Teen Horny
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"I hadn't even realized I liked girls yet, but I watched that video so many times not really understanding why I was so into it."
"I would throw a blanket over the family desktop in the living room and watch Christina Aguilera’s 'Dirrty' music video on a loop. Definitely was not as inconspicuous as I thought, and definitely got in trouble."
"Adam Levine was SO hot in that video with all the strategic flower petals. My gay heart* exploded [*pants]."
"The lyrics, the beat, and the way she danced taught 14-year-old me what I was into...in ways I was just learning to understand!"
"The leopard print bra poking out of her tank top? The dancing? The glistening skin?"
"I think it started a slight rough play kink..."
"Wet T-shirt and riding a bull? Come on! Bisexual awakening."
"My five older brothers would crowd around the TV whenever the video came on, and I was right there with them."
"The music video for 'Toxic' by Britney Spears is literally what made me realize that I'm into girls. I first watched it when I was 11 but didn't put the pieces together until I was 13 (lol oops)."
"George Michael in a Speedo? Yes, please."
"First you get the scene with him in the bathtub, which makes you feel an odd kind of way. Then those few moments when he is crawling across the bathroom floor... Uh, yeah, you're suddenly not at all certain what it is that you're feeling for the first time. But it's certainly new and interesting."
"Britney and Madonna and ties and moving around a metal bed frame and chasing and the tension woke me."
"John Rzeznik in that tank top with his hair and his tattoos and the metal ball necklace that everyone wore in the '90s. It was and still is perfection."
"That bodysuit and her in the cage made me feel some type of way."
"The way she danced with those men...wow!"
"Justin Timberlake of NSYNC in a white tank, on a bed, fully 'Tearin’ Up My Heart.' Thank you, JT."
"Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstone in schoolgirl outfits — then doing stripteases — did it."
"It opened my eyes to the fact that I might not be straight. The scene where they lie over the black and white stripes literally magnified me."
"I remember watching that video and feeling *things.*"
"This sparked not only my sexuality but also my gay."
"Something about that part where they dance in the rain."
"There are like five seconds in 'I Miss You' by Blink-182 where these spooky ladies make out and get lipstick all over each other's faces. MTV would play an edited version in the daytime, and that part was never there! So I'd stay up to watch those five seconds and fantasize about kissing other girls."
"The scene in the music video for 'Baby Boy' by Beyoncé feat. Sean Paul where Beyonce is dancing with the male lead. High school dancing-with-your-crush goals lol."
"Hot and sweaty in the desert heat? Definitely did something to me and made me realize I was in no way attracted to girls."
"Ten-year-old gay me was fucking shook."
"There's this one part where he's dressed as Robin and the camera zooms right in on that bulge."
"The video for 'Milkshake' by Kelis made me realize that I love boobs."
"I grew up in a very religious household, and this was the first 'mainstream' music video I remember watching. Seeing her dance in a crop top and low jeans made me FEEL THINGS for the first time in my life!"
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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Music soothes even the savage breast (“beast” is a misquote, don’t get mad at me). However, sometimes music — especially when being practiced by tiny, burgeoning musicians who haven’t quite mastered their skills—can give us a headache. Listening to a recorder for an hour has a special way of making you crazy. Music is an amazing tool that helps people feel deep emotions and although a musical joke probably won’t touch your soul like Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight’ Sonata, it could make you smile or even giggle a bit.
But seriously if you played an instrument growing up , sure it may have been fun, but it was also probably a lot of work and grueling hours. We can help you bury your trauma with a bunch of jokes that poke fun at the world of music. And if you don’t laugh your little munchkin definitely will, which is always music to everyone’s ears . See what I did there? The jokes are starting already! Have the kids stop tickling the ivories for a moment and tickle their funny-bones instead with these clean, kid-friendly music jokes. Your pounding noggin will appreciate the break.
Need some more music in your life? Check out our infant songs and more.
2. How many concertmasters does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes four movements.
3. Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
Because the keys are on the inside.
5. What type of music are balloons afraid of?
6. What is a mummy’s favorite kind of music?
7. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
8. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
9. What kind of musical instrument do rats play?
10. What do you call a musical insect?
11. Why did the fish make such a good musician?
12. What is the most musical part of your body?
Your nose because you can blow and pick it.
13. What makes songs, but never sings?
14. Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her rollerblades on?
Because she wanted to rock and roll.
15. Why did the chicken join the band?
16. What’s big and grey with horns?
18. What kind of music do bunnies like?
19. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
20. Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
They kept saying, “Bach, Bach, Bach!”
21. Why couldn’t the athlete listen to her music?
23. What part of the turkey is musical?
24. What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
26. What is the musical part of a snake?
27. Where did the music teacher leave his keys?
28. What types of songs do planets sing?
29. What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
30. What rock band has four guys that don’t sing?
32. What did the robbers take from the music store?
33. What makes pirates such good singers?
36. What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school?
41. What do you get if you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
42. Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
43. What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
44. Why was the former conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic always first off the plane?
46. How do you fix a broken brass instrument?
47. How can you tell if a singer’s at your door?
They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in.
48. Middle C, E flat, and G walk into a bar.
“Sorry,” the bartender says. “We don’t serve minors.”
49. What musical keys do cows sing in?
50. Want to hear the joke about a staccato?
51. Want to hear the one about fermata?
52. Why was music coming from the printer?
53. What do you call an elf that sings?
54. What’s the difference between a conductor and God?
God doesn’t think he’s a conductor.
55. A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
56. Which computer brand will win the Grammys?
57. The biggest difference between the Super Bowl and the Grammys.
58. As a musician, I’ve learned the best way to win a Grammy is to not release your music in the same year as Adele.
59. My dad always told me I should sing tenor twelve miles away.
60. Someone keyed the music teacher’s car.
Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor.
62. Who is a grain harvester’s favorite musical artist?
Of course, I like live music. Dead music has body, but it doesn’t have soul.
64. My friend spends 75 percent of his time playing football and the other 25 percent playing Baroque music.
65. Accordion to one study, people don’t notice when you replace any given word with the name of a musical instrument, but I don’t believe that tuba true.
66. A while ago, my friend told me not to listen to loud music.
I haven’t heard from that guy since.
67. There are so many jokes about a certain composer…
Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!
69. I have a musician friend who is always upbeat. When she developed ringing in one ear, I asked whether her condition was especially annoying to a musician. She shook her head. “Not really,” she replied cheerfully. “The ringing sound is in the key of B flat, so I use it to tune my cello half a tone lower.”
70. What do you say to the musician playing the triangle in the orchestra?
71. Some might say the violinists in an orchestra don’t do much.
72. An orchestra was hit by lightning.
73. Kids shouldn’t watch the orchestra.
74. What’s the slang term for a harpsichord?
75. What do you say when a kazoo player sneezes?
76. What do you call a set of musical dentures?
77. How can you tell if a soprano is at your front door?
He can’t find the key, and doesn’t know when to come in.
78. Arnold Schoenberg walks into a bar…
“I’ll have a gin please, but no tonic.”
79. What’s Giuseppe Verdi’s favorite way to get around the airport?
80. What do you get if Bach falls off his horse but has the courage to get back on and keep riding?
81. What’s a golfer’s favorite type of music?
83. Why didn’t the bouncer let the quavers into the bar?
84. Why did JS Bach have so many children?
Because he didn’t have any organ stops.
85. How do you get a trombonist off your doorstep?
86. What do you get when you squish an army?
87. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
88. “My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the ‘William Tell Overture’ without thinking of The Lone Ranger .” — Billy Connolly
89. “When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.” — Bob Hope
This article was originally published on 10.29.2019

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Lofi Music Makes This Emo Teen Horny

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