Little Sister Rape Young Sex Story

Little Sister Rape Young Sex Story

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Countering "going to do it anyway."

I recently completed a graduate course in character education in which we were required to carry out an "action project." For my project I chose to use character-based sex education to try to instill in my younger sister and her friend the self-respect, self-control, and courage needed to lead moral, fulfilling, and healthy lives.
I wanted to inform my 14-year-old sister Kathy about something that I unfortunately just began to take seriously: abstinence. Sure, I have always known what the word meant, but I had never considered it an option for me, until recently. I felt that it was my responsibility to pass the philosophy of abstinence on to my sister because I know that she will not get it in the "going to do it anyway" program that is used at her high school. Also, she is a virgin (her friend is, too), so I wanted to show her how important it is to hold onto that purity.
I started these discussions when I accidentally overheard my sister Kathy, and her friend, Michelle, talking about a "slut" that one of their friends was dating. I asked them why they considered her a slut, and Michelle responded: "She has slept with at least eight guys already, and she is easy." I asked them to think about why this girl is so promiscuous. Kathy said, "She's trying to keep a boyfriend." They assumed that having sex was a way of holding onto a boyfriend and showing love for one another. They also assumed that condoms would protect them from disease and pregnancy and that having sex had no implications for their future adult lives. My goal was to dispel all these myths.
We first tackled the issue of sex as "showing love" or "keeping a boyfriend." I used the girl they were talking about as an example of how boyfriends come and go whether girls have intercourse with them or not. We also talked about girls' feelings when they are rejected after giving part of themselves to another person. I then told them about my having pre-marital sex, and how I wished these relationships had never occurred and that the only true way to find out if a guy loves you is to make him wait until marriage.

We talked about the self-respect and courage involved in leading sexually abstinent lives until marriage. These two young girls developed a new awareness of how truly loving relationships and commitments develop and are sustained. Their awareness was evident in their response to my disclosing that I recently told my boyfriend that I wanted to abstain from sex from now on and he said he could not do this. I asked Kathy and Michelle if they thought the relationship was worth continuing, and they both said, "No, he does not love you if he won't wait for you." I was proud of their answer.
I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine.
I also wanted to make these girls aware of the physical dangers of pre-marital sex. I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine. They were shocked to find out that this friend contracted herpes from sexual intercourse while using a condom. We considered the possible implications of such diseases: the inability to conceive a baby, passing on a sexual disease to your spouse, and transmitting a disease to your baby in the womb or during delivery.
Besides being more confident in their virginity, Kathy and Michelle have now set the personal goal of saving sex for marriage. They also no longer pick apart boys or girls who are sexually active by calling them "sluts" or "pimps" but instead focus on the deeper consequences of such behaviors and on what promiscuous girls and boys must be lacking in their lives.
My sister and Michelle have recently asked two of their friends to join us in our discussions. I've also shared my project with the parents of these girls. These parents are beginning to realize that abstinence-based sex education is more beneficial than the model now used at their daughters' high school.
A pdf version of this article is available here .
Jessica Burberry. "Teaching my younger sister about sex and love." excellence & ethics (Summer, 1998).
Reprinted with permission. Excellence & Ethics , published by the Center for the 4th and 5th Rs , is the education letter of the Smart & Good Schools Project. It features essays, research, and K-12 best practices that help school leaders, teachers, students, parents, and community members do their best work (performance character) and do the right thing (moral character).
excellence & ethics is published twice a year and may be subscribed to, without cost, here .
Jessica Burberry (a pseudonym) is a first-year elementary school teacher and a graduate student in education at SUNY Cortland.
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A brave 13-year-old girl argued with a rapist who grabbed her as she cycled on her bike and told him "you make me sick" after he asked her age, a court has heard.
In a police video interview, the teenager - the alleged seventh victim of a man accused of raping eight women and girls across south east England - said she "rejected" orders from her violent attacker, who thumped her when she refused to comply.
Antoni Imiela, 49, of Appledore, near Ashford in Kent, denies raping the girl and has also pleaded not guilty to eight further counts of rape against five women and two girls under 16. One of the women was allegedly raped twice.
He also denies the kidnap, indecent assault and attempted rape of a 10-year-old girl in Birmingham in November 2002.
Maidstone Crown Court was shown the video - filmed two days after the alleged attack near Woking, Surrey, on September 6, 2002 - on Friday as Imiela watched from the dock.
In it, the girl held hands tightly with her mother as she told a police officer she was snatched from her bike in daylight as she rode through a wooded area in the early evening.
The victim said she had seen the man shortly before he pounced and described him as having a body like the character Phil Mitchell from EastEnders and a face like his brother Grant.
"I gave a smile to say 'Hi' and he just ignored me and kept on walking. I just totally regret that now," the girl told the police officer, who assured her: "I would say never give up smiling."
Speaking calmly and fluently, the schoolgirl told the officer how she was suddenly grabbed off the bike, dragged into woods, pushed over and ordered to take some of her clothes off.
She said: "He was saying 'What age are you?' and I went '13' and he said 'That is a lovely age, a lovely age'. I said 'Why?' and he said 'You're growing'."
The girl then recalled telling the man: "You make me sick."
"I said 'What are you going to do with me afterwards - am I going to be able to see my family? You are not going to kill me and stuff', and he said 'No, I am not going to kill you'," she added.
'Continued to talk back to attacker'
She said she continued to say things to her attacker despite being stripped of her clothes and told to put her jumper over her head so she could not see him.
"I was just rejecting everything. I said 'Excuse me, I don't even know you and you're doing this to me'. He was a sick man," she said.
At one point, the plucky teenager told the officer how she turned her cheek to avoid his attempts to kiss her. "I was just like 'Get away from me'," she said.
She continued: "I was just wishing for it all to be over and he was saying this c**p like 'You're not a virgin' and I said 'Excuse me, I think I would know if I was a virgin. It is none of your business'.
"I think he was actually quite nervous as well because his voice was shaking," the girl added.
She explained that she also pretended to have a "bladder problem" and had closed her legs during the attack but was punched in the stomach by the man - who she said reeked of cigarette smoke.
"I was just crying 'I want my mum, I want my mum' and he was like 'You're not going to get your mum'," she said.
The victim said she even questioned the rapist during her ordeal, asking him questions such as "Have you got a wife then?" - which he denied - and "Do you live here?", but the teenager was told to "Stop being so nosy".
"He was just acting like a schoolboy, saying all these things like 'Don't be cheeky, don't be rude'," she told the officer.
Despite her pleas and attempts to defy the rapist, she said her callous attacker eventually told her "This won't take a moment" before raping her.
"I was just closing my eyes and hoping that everything was going to be over. He struck me again when I didn't lift my legs up... I was shaking, I was thinking 'Oh my God'," she said.
She said that after the assault she had pleaded with, and convinced, him not to leave her tied up before he left the scene of the attack.
"I was just sitting there for two minutes crying my eyes out," she said.
She then frantically searched for help, eventually finding a dog walker.
"I fell into his arms and said 'I have been raped, take me home' and started crying. His arm was around me trying to comfort me."
The victim burst into tears on the video after finishing her story and the court then watched her being consoled by her mother, who hugged her for several minutes while the police officer left the room.
The mother - also tearful - then said to her daughter: "It was not as bad as we thought, really."
The girl replied: "I feel much better now it is out of my system."
The court later heard from one of Imiela's former work colleagues, Alex Lawrie, who said he had given the railway worker a lift from Kent for a time in 2002 when they were both based in the Woking area.
He confirmed that they used to drive along the same road that the girl had cycled past just before the attack later that year.
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Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group

Can hardly believe I'm writing this but after a week of hardly no sleep and relationship at breaking point, I need more outside advice. My daughter turns 14 in December. At the beginning of May this year, 5 months ago, she started her first relationship. This boy is 2 school years above her, it works out about 18 months older than her. They had been "talking" on and off for about 6 months prior to going official, so by the time they went official, they were already pretty close. I met him almost immediately, we are a large, close family and I always wanted my kids partners to be welcomed and for us all to get on. Especially with her only being 13, I needed and wanted to get to know this person well, who she was starting to spend a lot with. I am a very open and honest mum and have always spoke openly with my kids about anything they wanted to talk about.. My thinking has always been, if they are asking, they are wanting to know, and if they can't ask me, they will ask someone else, who may not know themselves. I warmed immediately to this boy and he fit really easily into the family. It was like he'd always been here. I genually care about him. I spent a lot of time with my daughter and boyfriend, we all got on great. We were always chatting about anything and everything. I was able to speak openly to both of them about her only been 13 and said that they could come to me about anything and I would be supportive. They both constantly reassured me that they weren't ready for anything sexual and they felt comfortable enough to talk to me when they felt things were progressing. I must admit, I found myself stressing out numerous occasions, worrying about what if etc and when this happened, I would speak to them about what was on my mind. I truly, 100% believed that I had done everything in my power, to connect with two love struck teenagers and constantly prided myself on the fact that we had a great relationship. I felt lucky that my daughters first love, wasn't an absolute nightmare, but a boy who genually wanted us to like him and be part of the family. Last Wednesday night I was driving him home, only us two as my daughter wasn't feeling well, when out of the blue he said he needed to tell me something. He confessed that they were having sex. That they had been the entire time and he couldn't carrying on lying to me anymore. He said that by the time he met me and got to know me, they had already had sex and by the time he realised they could of actually talked to me, the lies had got bigger and it was too much. Also my daughter had promised him never ever to tell me as I would stop them seeing each other. Apparently a condom broke on them (don't even believe they have been using them) and they had to do a pregnancy test. My world literally stopped that night. I felt like I was in another universe. I can't believe this is happening to us. The amount of lies my daughter has told me, is actually unforgivable. I just can't look at her in the same way at all. We just don't lie and the amount of lies she's told me, is just totally heartbreaking. I've spoke to her once about it, I was calm, matter of fact and blunt. When I really wanted to slap her, scream in her face and call her every name under the sun. She didn't speak just listened and then went upstairs crying. The next day I took her to our doctors, who put her on the pill and I made her do a pregnancy test, which was thankfully negative. We haven't spoken since. I just can't. And she hasn't tried. My hurt is running so deep inside me, it's like its changed me and how I feel about her. I've asked the boyfriend not to come round as seeing them here together just reminds me of what I thought we all had, and the amount of lies they have told. I have still been allowing her to his house, which is causing me some dilemma. I don't want to ban them seeing each other as they go to the same school anyway, plus they are that consumed with each other, I worry if I push them apart, they may do something stupid. I just can't see a way forward at all. The boyfriend has contacted me since and strangely enough, although I'm angry and upset they have done this so young, and the lies he has told me hurt, I can actually see his point of view. He was in a difficult position and not many 15 year olds would confide in their girlfriends Mum about this, I don't think. It's just the daughter. When I'm dropping her off, I'm thinking about, am I dropping her off for sex? When I'm picking her up, I'm thinking has she been having sex. Doing her washing and seeing a mark, thinking is it semem. I feel like I'm truly loosing my mind and can't think straight. Does anyone ever accept the fact their kids are having underage sex? Anyone that has gone through this and come out the other side, I would so appreciate your advise. This is the longest we have gone not speaking and I don't know how we can ever get it back.
Hi Kirsty, sorry but reading this it really seems you are the third wheel in their relationship. I think you need to back off a little, it's done now, you can't turn back time and erase the fact they have been having sex. I think it's amazing that actually you have taken this boy in and while yes she is 13, she is having sex in a relationship and now, protected. You will never be able to stop them having sex I'm afraid unless you break them up! Which i wouldn't say is the best idea. Life is too short not to speak to your daughter. Lots of teenagers are out sleeping around and doing whatever and she isn't!
Hi, I agree with Sarah. What's done is done now and don't let this get in the way of the fantastic relationship you have with them both. At least you know him and she's in a caring and loving relationship. Would you rather it happened this way or when she was older with someone you've never met or just doing it because everyone else was. I know it's easier said than done to let it go but I'm sure she couldn't tell you as she didn't know how you'd react or she didn't want to hurt you. Talk to her and trust her, it'll make your relationship even stronger. The last thing you want her to do is to start deliberately lying to see him. My mum was devastated when she found out I was having sex. She too found out through my then boyfriend. She was more hurt I didn't tell her and I didn't tell her because I wanted to stay her little girl. And now, we're so close - I tell her everything I still even now in my thirties want to be my mums little girl and hate disappointing her x You will get through this x
I'm sorry you are going though this. I would find it very hard with a 13 year old having sex too. But I don't agree that it's the norm nowadays.
Agree with above, you shouldn't push her away now. It's done, she obviously felt too scared or ashamed to tell you. And although I thinks it's FAR to young, you've done the right thing getting her on contraception. Good on him for being sensible (ha) enough to tell you before she did end up getting pregnant, give him abit of credit for being honest. I also think if this was my daughter I would rather she were having safe sex, she's going to do it whether you like it or not. But in saying that, I can imagine how you must feel, I would want to lock my daughter in her room!!
Your 13 year old sounds to be in a wonderful relationship which is rare for their age - going on a year long! Sure they had sex, but as much as you want to be open with your mum it's pretty embarrassing to find the right time and say they've done it - espe
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