Little Girls Big Boobs
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Part of HuffPost Style & Beauty. ©2021 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.
07/10/2012 10:00am EDT | Updated October 11, 2012
Since when is being skinny with big boobs a problem? Quite frequently, as it turns out. We reached out to one woman who has struggled with her body for years. Here's her story.
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"I've always been 'boob-y.' It ran in the family: My maternal grandmother was busty; they were really hanging low. I was one of the first kids in my class to develop, and it was embarrassing. It was awful. I was around twelve years old, and in the locker room with flat-chested girls who snickered at me.
In my teenage years, it was nothing abnormal because the clothes that were in style then (it was the '60s) weren't form-fitting. I wore jeans and t-shirts. But if I tried to get into a dress, forget it: The frock fit over my hips perfectly, but I couldn't get the zipper up.
In my 20s and 30s I lived in a beach community where shorts and t-shirts were the norm. We also lived on a shoe-string at the time, so not only was island living very casual, but we also didn't have the money to do things that required dressing up, like going out for dinner.
Then, in my 50s, my boobs exploded. At the same time, my lifestyle changed -- my husband and I were traveling more, going out more and our life was more social in general. By this point in our lives, we were more comfortable financially, and we had the resources to do things like go to the symphony and the theater. We started traveling frequently to New York, and I became more interested in fashion. As a result, my wardrobe became dressier. But I discovered that designers only design for skinny models.
I go shopping and look at beautiful clothes, but they aren't meant for narrow women with a bust. I'm a size 4 on the bottom, and a size 8 on top, so I try both sizes to see if either works. Ultimately, nothing fits. 'You look at yourself in the mirror and it just doesn't hang right. Things squeeze out here, squeeze out there, and it doesn't look good. I'm not interested in side boob, thank you very much.
My figure makes getting dressed up an ordeal. These days my ideal outfit is jeans and a nice blousy top, or a fancy sweater. I read about a place in New York where they really fit you -- I'm going to make a pilgrimage there.
I would never get a breast reduction. It's not worth it to go under the knife so I can fit into a Chanel jacket. Besides, my husband loves the way I look.
Look, I know this sounds like a silly problem. But for me, it's a pain. Typically, I wear something loose that isn't hugging anything, which is a shame because I've worked hard to stay in good shape."
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Today, I know that even if my chest had never grown, I would be alright with it.
My great aunt bought me my first bra when I was 11. She gave it to me on my birthday, when I definitely didn't need a bra. All I wanted was my very own set of breasts. I think I believed that a bra would magically make my boobs suddenly appear – and that I would finally be a woman. That definitely did not happen.
I barely fit an A-cup in high school. I used to wish on every star I saw in the sky that I would be blessed with an ample chest, that I could fill out a shirt without two spare pieces of fabric hanging over where my breasts were meant to be. I wanted boobs so badly that I started referring to them as my "hope chest," because I thought if I hoped hard enough they would suddenly just blossom.
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While in high school, I realized quickly how flat I was in comparison to my girlfriends. Also, I couldn't escape the pressure I felt from seeing other teenage girls in magazines, TV shows and movies. I sure as hell didn't look like most of them. I looked much younger – especially physically. Every time I complained, my grandma would remind me, "Mine never came in until I was in my 30s." Well, her chest was huge, so I had to have hope, right?
As time went on, I remained confident but still a bit envious, feeling left out whenever my friends were having conversations that I couldn't be a part of. They'd say things like, "I can't run, it huuuurts!" I wanted to know that feeling! (It also sounded like a great excuse to get out of gym). Even complaints like, "I can't sleep on my stomach anymore…" and "He wouldn't stop staring at my boobs" made me – you guessed it – want boobs.
I would make jokes about my flat chest, putting balloons up my shirt during sleepovers to make my friends laugh. I figured I should make fun of myself, rather than feeling sorry about something that I had literally no control over.
But by the time I started college, I was actively trying to come to terms with my little knockers. I learned how to accentuate my other physical attributes. I had nice eyes and hair, and I had a great butt – but I still wished I had boobs.
Sometimes, people would suggest I get a boob job. There was this idea that surgery would 'complete' my body somehow. That I would be 'sexier' or more 'womanly.' But as tempting as it was, I knew I had to love me the way I was. Even though I wanted boobs so badly, I just never saw that as an option for me.
People would suggest I get a boob job. But as tempting as it was, I knew I had to love me the way I was.
So, I learned to take all the confidence I had and found a way to be fully happy with my body. I decided to wear cute tops confidently. I didn't stress about wearing padded bras. In fact, sometimes I didn't even wear a bra! And then something great started to happen: I started to forget all about not having boobs. It was no longer an issue.
Then one day, or gradually, things changed. It seemed to just happen. I noticed little gaps between the buttons of my button-up shirts. I noticed a nice shadow effect happening at the top of my chest, a rounding out – something I had never seen before. Then I noticed that they were jiggling a little as I walked. I yelled to my roommate, "OMG, They jiggle! They jiggle while I jump!"
They continued to grow. It wasn't really attributed to weight gain, either. I started out as a 32A and suddenly was a 32B. And eventually, after a few years, I became a C-cup.
Suddenly, I knew the feeling when guys stared at my chest – and, yes, it quickly became annoying. Since I had glorified boobs for so long, I also started to notice that having them wasn't very different at all.
Sure, having a body part that society glorifies is fun for a while, but then you start to realize that it doesn't really fix or change anything. Today, I know that even if my chest had never grown, I would be alright with it.
It's a beautiful thing to have experienced both sides, to completely understand what it's like to have and have not. Not once did I ever consider plastic surgery. I never wore heavily padded bras. Even if I never had that late growth spurt, I think I would be just as confident today.
And you know what else I realized? It never mattered how flat or full my chest was. I should have never relied on something so insignificant to make me feel like 'more' or 'less' of a woman. It never provided me more or less opportunities. It didn't make me any more or less attractive. It didn't make me more or less capable.
You are damn sexy – no matter what size breasts you have. If you want plastic surgery, go for it. If you prefer to rock your chest au natural, at any size, go for it. You do you. The rest will always fall into place.
Felicia Sabartinelli I’m Felicia Sabartinelli, Colorado actress, artist and writer.
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Little Girls Big Boobs
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