Little Girls 6 12 Sex Bdsm
⚡ ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Little Girls 6 12 Sex Bdsm
Friday, Oct 14th 2022
9PM
3°C
12AM
3°C
5-Day Forecast
Even though I was convinced Tamsin had been telling the truth, still a tiny part of me had hoped it was all a mistake
Site
Web
Enter search term:
Search
Home
News
U.S.
Sport
TV&Showbiz
Australia
Femail
Health
Science
Money
Travel
Video
Best Buys
Discounts
In seconds my world came tumbling down
Emma Charles thought that she and her family were living a normal life. But then she discovered that her husband had been sexually abusing their daughter Tamsin since the age of ten. Twelve years on, Emma recalls that devastating day and the traumatic events that followed
In many ways, we were an ordinary family – mum, dad, two kids, a Volvo in the drive. And in some ways we weren’t so ordinary. As a ship’s engineer, my husband Daniel worked away from home for up to four months at a time. But I never for a moment dreamt that we were extraordinary – until that day.
It started out fine, that Tuesday in December 1996. Our younger daughter, Claire, 13, was at school, and I was looking forward to spending some time with Tamsin, who had just broken up for the holidays. At 15, she was a weekly boarder at a specialist school for high-ability dyslexics.
We chatted about what she was going to do. That was when the first hint of discord arose. Tamsin and I squabbled, like all mothers and daughters. But that day she was impervious to reasoned argument. She began making hurtful personal attacks on her father and me, something she had never done. At bedtimewe kissed goodnight, but for the first time we parted with a coolness between us.
The following evening, I was in the living room when she burst in, flung a piece of paper at me and stormed out. ‘I have to leave or he has to,’ she had written. ‘And you seem to need him. And f*** you, you probably won’t believe me anyway.’ She was talking about her father – telling me that he had been sexually abusing her for the past five years. In the seconds it took me to absorb her words, my world came tumbling down.
I found her down the road with her dog. ‘Come home and tell me about it,’ I begged. She looked into my eyes and must have been reassured by what she saw. ‘He won’t leave me alone,’ she cried. ‘He’s always feeling me up. He brushes against my breasts so I know it’s not accidental, but he could persuade someone else it was.’
Hope blossomed in my mind. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, an over-tactile father who would have to learn to respect his daughter’s personal space. ‘Has he ever touched you between your legs?’ I asked. ‘Last time he was home on leave,’ she sobbed.
Tears were falling from my eyes as I looked up the number for social services and picked up the phone. I just knew I had to do the right thing.
Daniel and I had been married for 18 years. I was 27 when we met, working as a medical photographer; he was a year older and at college, studying for his Second Engineer’s certificate. He was tall and slim with auburn hair and blue-grey eyes and a full beard and moustache. And he was gentle, laid-back – all the things I wasn’t. Within a week, I had decided he was the man with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. We married the following year.
I hadn’t wanted children. It was Daniel who felt that we wouldn’t be a ‘proper family’ without them. Tamsin was conceived two years after our wedding, and Claire came along two and a half years after that. As it turned out, I loved being a mother and Daniel was good with the girls as babies. But as they grew up, he changed. His own parents had been authoritarian, and not reluctant to use a belt to hit their children. He, too, resorted to smacking and violence.
One incident in particular stands out. When the girls were seven and four, I noticed ‘fingertip’ bruising on Claire’s arm. I really went for Daniel, threatening to kick him out if he couldn’t control his temper. He was angry with me for taking him to task; but when he realised I was serious, he backed down and apologised. Over and over again, we talked about what was reasonable behaviour and over and over he agreed with me. But his efforts to improve never lasted long.
Why did I stay with him if things were so bad? Well, they weren’t bad all the time. Mostly, we had a good family life. I knew the harm that divorce causes to children. I still loved Daniel and I thought we could make it work. Until that day.
Tamsin, aged four, and her 18-month-old sister, Claire
Daniel was in the Far East when Tamsin wrote her devastating note. Social services set up an appointment for the following Monday. Meanwhile, I had to address another horrible thought. Gently, I asked Claire if her dad had ever touched her. ‘He used to come and give me back rubs,’ she replied. ‘But I liked that…’ ‘Nothing else?’ I asked. ‘He asked me to take off my T-shirt, but I just said no. And once he tried to give me a tummy rub, but I wouldn’t let him.’
It was becoming clearer now. Claire has always been an upfront child. Whenever anything was worrying her, she would come and tell me. If only Tamsin had been the same.
I’m not going to describe Tamsin’s statement to social services. Listening to her engraved pictures on my mind which I still have trouble banishing today. The police also took statements and arranged a medical examination. Several weeks later, Daniel was arrested as he stepped off a flight from Jakarta. DC Barbara White from the sexual offences unit called later to tell me: ‘He’s admitted everything. It’s a very credible confession. He wants me to tell you that he’s never raped Tamsin, and he’s never been unfaithful to you with anyone else.’
I cried my eyes out. Even though I was convinced Tamsin had been telling the truth, still a tiny part of me had hoped it was all a mistake.
Daniel was bailed, with strict conditions not to approach either Tamsin or me. I had imagined that he would be feeling crushed and placatory. I was soon to discover how little I knew him. Within a few days, a letter from him arrived informing me that his mother was bitter that I had not kept our troubles ‘within the family’. So that was it. I was to be blamed for reporting the abuse. This was my first experience of the denial which abusers use to protect themselves from acknowledging the harm they have caused. Who is protected by dealing with such matters within the family? Only the abuser.
For the sexual assault on his daughter, Daniel was sentenced to 12 months’ imprisonment and placed on the Sex Offenders Register for five years. The case took ten months to come to court and was finally heard in October 1997. When people asked me that year how I was coping, I said I had pencilled in a nervous breakdown for November. In the event, it didn’t happen. I didn’t have the time. Tamsin needed all my energy.
Tamsin went downhill quickly. The first signs were strange attacks, which she called freakies. They are difficult to describe. Her body was there, but the rational person that was Tamsin disappeared. Instead there was a frightened creature which threw itself at walls and on the floor, and scratched itself incessantly. I spent many evenings desperately holding her hands to stop her scratching out her eyes until the prescribed tranquilliser could take effect.
For a while, she underwent counselling and we got a brief glimpse of the old Tamsin – a normal teenager full of fun and laughter. But then she went downhill again. Two years after she first disclosed the abuse, she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, where nurses found her scraping away at her wrist with a knife. When they took the knife away, she continued to scratch with her nails. She talked about hearing bad voices – the Doctors, she called them. One night, after she was discharged, I found her shaving the skin off the back of her hand with a razor. ‘Don’t be angry with me,’ she begged. ‘I didn’t want to do it. It was the Doctors; they made me!’
Five-year-old Tamsin enjoying a family day out
For six desperately anxious months, we worried that Tamsin was schizophrenic. But psychiatrists eventually concluded that she had been suffering from a neurotic, rather than psychotic illness. As new medication began to work, life calmed down and there were no more voices or self-harming. It was by no means the beginning of the end of our story; but perhaps it was the end of the beginning.
I, too, underwent counselling to unravel my confused feelings. There have been those who, on hearing our story, have expressed amazement that I had just accepted Tamsin’s word when she told me her father had been abusing her, without first giving Daniel a chance to have his say. I can’t explain it. Partly it was because I knew from reading about the subject in newspapers and magazines that children seldom, if ever, lie about abuse. Partly it was because I knew that Tamsin was a truthful person. But mostly it was that somewhere deep inside I had known instinctively that she was telling the truth. Afterwards, odd bits of behaviour and events began to click into place.
One of the difficulties when a relationship ends abruptly is that there is no proper closure. I never got the chance to say goodbye to Daniel. People didn’t expect me to grieve for him because of what he’d done; but this was the man with whom I had spent half my life. I came to understand that without grief there can be no final acceptance.
Another insight was the realisation that the pain of Daniel’s betrayal will never go away. Again the answer is acceptance, because without acceptance nothing changes. Daniel served six months of his sentence. Our only contact with him since has been through solicitors.
Today I can look more objectively at our experiences. When Tamsin revealed the abuse, some friends found it hard to accept. Daniel doesn’t look peculiar or behave in a peculiar way. He was on the Playing Field Committee in our village; he was asked to be a steward in our church. Surely he can’t be a paedophile? Surely it must have been a misunderstanding? At the heart of this attitude is denial. To open yourself to the knowledge of what an abuser has done is hard. Much easier to think of it as a mistake for which no one should suffer.
Tamsin has had the most horrendous time. Anyone who understands about self-harming knows that physical pain is easier to cope with than mental pain. At 27, she is still extremely anxious all the time. She has not worked since leaving school and only now is she well enough to attend college, where she is studying horse management. Like most abused kids, she has been through a period of promiscuity. You’d think that abused kids would want nothing more to do with sex; but the fact is, they do not know, have not experienced, any other way of relating to men.
Child sex abusers do not believe that what they do is wrong. They convince themselves that the child wants it to happen as much as they do; indeed, it is not uncommon for them to blame the child for leading them on. It is in this denial that the danger to other children lies. If an abuser does not believe that what he does is harmful, he has no reason not to do it again.
Of course, we as a society are also in denial. We warn our children about ‘stranger danger’, but the truth is that the vast majority of abused children are abused by relatives or close friends. We would much rather objectify offenders and think of them as shadowy figures, totally unlike those we know. Until we stop burying our heads in the sand nothing will change. This is the bottom line. And one abused child is one too many.
This is an edited extract from How Could He Do It? by Emma Charles (Preface Publishing, £12.99). To order a copy post-free, call the YOU Bookshop on 0845 606 4204 or visit you-bookshop.co.uk
No comments have so far been submitted. Why not be the first to send us your thoughts,
or debate this issue live on our message boards.
We are no longer accepting comments on this article.
Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group
Friday, Oct 14th 2022
9PM
3°C
12AM
3°C
5-Day Forecast
RELATED ARTICLES Previous 1 Next
Embed icon
Embed Most Watched Videos
By embedding this you agree to our terms and conditions
Cancel
Copy code
Tick icon
Code copied
Site
Web
Enter search term:
Search
What next for Liz Truss after day of chaos and press conference horror show
Robbie Coltrane dies aged 72: Tributes flood in for 'unique talent'
Just Stop Oil activists throw soup over Van Gogh’s Sunflowers painting in National Gallery
Putin threatens to cancel grain deal after claiming cargo ship may have bombed Crimea bridge
Leah Croucher murder investigation: How prime suspect evaded police despite 18 attempts to arrest him
Royal Mail to axe up to 10,000 jobs as losses rise
Covid cases rise as one in 37 has virus in UK
Government borrowing costs rise after PM’s U-turn
Emily Atack splits from Big Brother tree surgeon Liam McGough after 7 months
King Charles is 'hopeful for a reconciliation' with Prince Harry
Home
News
U.S.
Sport
TV&Showbiz
Australia
Femail
Health
Science
Money
Travel
Video
Best Buys
Discounts
By Gavin Allen Updated: 19:28 BST, 27 January 2012
A student is counting the cost of cheap drinks promotions today after video of her dancing naked in an inflatable paddling pool at a nightclub went viral on the internet.
The university student - who MailOnline has chosen not to identify - woke up this morning to find that a 10-minute video of the incident at Oceana nightclub in Cardiff had been circulated widely on Twitter.
A student - who is not being identified by MailOnline - has been left embarrassed after a video of her stripping off in a nightclub went viral
Her behaviour is a classic example of Britain's binge-drinking culture - and the embarrassment it can cause.
And the speed with which her drunken antics went viral highlights the power of social media.
A one-minute version was available on YouTube and attracted more than 1,000 hits in less than 10 minutes. It has now been removed.
The 20-year-old took part in a wet T-shirt contest as part of the Missbehaviour event - billed as 'Cardiff's naughtiest night' - where vodka and other spirits cost just £1.75 for a double.
At the event, which boasts the cheapest drinks in Cardiff, bottles of lager and alcopops were on sale at £1.20.
While other girls thought it enough to remove their tops, the student stripped off entirely and frolicked in the inflatable paddling pool.
With another reveller filming the 'contest' on a mobile phone, she leans over the edge of the pool plays for the cameras.
The Rihanna song S&M plays loudly in the background as men cheer and chant 'Off, off, off.'
As the student is exposing herself herself, the MC uses his microphone to shout: 'Get em 'off'.
The shame-faced student, who had clearly been drinking, used her Twitter account to send a message a day later which read: 'Yes I got drunk and yes I got naked.
'We all do things we regret and there is nothing I can do about it now!'
The embarrassed student later Tweeted that she had also lost her underwear, her earrings and had not been given £50 prize money for the wet T-shirt competition.
She was too embarrassed to comment when contacted to comment.
Student Luke Brown, 23, said: 'There was a lot of cheering going on and I looked around to see a naked girl in the paddling pool.
The student later posted this tweet of regret about the incident
'She seemed to be having a good time and everyone was reaching for their mobile phones to video her.
'I think the club staff stepped in to cover her up but I’ve seen one of the videos on twitter and it lasts for 10 minutes.
'Everyone had a lot to drink - I’ll bet she’s regretting it now.'
A spokesman for the Oceana club said: 'The night in question was a promoter event - this is where the event is put on and run by a third party.
'Oceana does not condone such behaviour.
The embarrassing antics took place at Oceana nightclub in Cardiff
'The Oceana door team dealt with the incident at the time and the clubs management has had the appropriate conversation with the promoter regarding this.'
The video of the student in the paddling pool has now been removed from YouTube.
Chris Sorek, from alcohol education charity Drinkaware, said: 'There's nothing wrong with enjoying a few drinks on a night out.
'But the digital world we live in means that people who have been drinking to excess can have their actions come back to haunt them online.
'What might appear fun when drunk can feel foolish and embarrassing in the cold light of day.
'Drinkaware research shows that over a third [38 per cent] of 18-24 year-olds admit to experiencing "cybershame" - regretting something they've posted online when drinking on a night out.
'And 47 per cent of those polled admit to un-tagging drunk photos of themselves they didn't want others to see.
'Thirty eight per cent also reported feeling embarrassed about seeing pictures of themselves online doing things they don't remember after a night of excessive drinking.'
He added: 'There are simple ways to prevent a night taking a turn for the worse and avoid seeing embarrassing posts and pictures splashed over the internet the next day. Eating a meal before drinking or when out and making every third drink a soft one can make the difference between having a good night or a bad one.'
The Prime Minister has demanded each unit of alcohol be sold for no less than 40p to 50p in Britain's supermarkets (picture posed by models)
Alcohol will be sold with a minimum price to deter binge drinking under plans ordered by David Cameron.
The Prime Minister has demanded each unit of alcohol be sold for no less than 40p to 50p in Britain’s supermarkets.
The proposals, which Mr Cameron wants included in an alcohol strategy paper to be published in February, will cost drinkers £700million a year.
The Prime Minister has repeatedly said he wants a minimum price to help tackle Britain’s obesity and binge drinking epidemic.
Government sources said he has overruled Health Secretary Andrew Lansley, who favoured a voluntary system for retailers, and is insisting that the basement price be imposed by law.
The scheme will mirror one introduced in Scotland, where the sale of alcohol below 45p a unit is banned.
It will be accompanied by a public health campaign on
Horny Hairy
Lesbo Fingers
Spy Tug Handjob