Little Boy Jerking

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Home | Patients and Families | Health Library | Is It Normal for an 11-Year-Old Boy to Fondle Himself?

Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
© 1995-2022 KidsHealth® All rights reserved. Images provided by iStock, Getty Images, Corbis, Veer, Science Photo Library, Science Source Images, Shutterstock, and Clipart.com

The other day, I walked into the bathroom and caught my 11-year-old son fondling his penis. Is this normal? I remember the old warning about boys going blind from this. It's not true, is it?
– Jane
As kids mature physically and emotionally, they become increasingly curious about their sexuality and their own bodies.
Although infants and younger children do touch their own genitals from time to time because they like the way it feels, masturbation is more common in older kids, from the preadolescent and teen years and beyond.
Contrary to the beliefs of some, masturbation won't cause your son to grow hair on his hands, become infertile, go blind, or develop emotional problems. A small number of kids and teens with existing emotional problems may become preoccupied with masturbation — just as they may become overly occupied with other behaviors or thoughts.
Other than that, masturbation is generally considered by health care professionals to be a form of harmless self-exploration and sexuality. While some preteens and teens may choose to masturbate, others may not.
Because masturbation is often considered a private topic, kids can feel too embarrassed to talk about it, fearing that their parents will be angry or disappointed. Many may prefer to talk to older siblings, friends, or their doctors rather than a parent.
If you continue to be concerned or have questions about masturbation, you may want to talk to your child's doctor.
© 2022 Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital. All rights reserved

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9 year old playing with himself after seeing my son
Ok so I’m sorry for this but I’ve been a bit upset about something that happened a few days ago and I just wondered what others thought I should do regarding telling the boys mum. Basically my cousin was staying with my mum (his grandmother) and she brought him over to our house for a couple of hours and we all had dinner. After dinner we let our little boy (14 months) have naked time until his bath and bed. So we did this and he was happily playing in the lounge. My nephew went outside to play football. A few minutes later my husband went to check on him and found him on his back in the middle of the garden playing with his willy very vigorously., My husband came in and told us and we decided that rather than draw attention to it we would just shout his name and tell him it was time to go home. He came in and said he felt ‘weird’ about our little boy being naked, so of course we put a nappy on him. My nephew then again went into the kitchen and blatantly started again playing with himself. I’m not really sure what to do, or if I should do anything at all like tell his mum (my sister)? My mum said it’s better to just ignore it but is that right? Is it normal behaviour for a 9 year old? Also I’m feeling guilty for letting my son have his naked time... maybe I shouldn’t have done that?? Help!
Sorry not my cousin, my little boys cousin. My nephew
I would try not to freak out, I don’t know the boy but it’s possible that he’s maybe a bit immature in terms of his awareness of his body and he’s just in the process of exploring it and understanding it. Maybe he plays with himself a lot at home and isn’t allowed to do it in public, and seeing your little boy playing made him want to get naked too, not in a sexual way but more because it made him think about liking doing it, if that makes sense. I probably wouldn’t encourage the two of them being naked around each other again in case he’s similarly confused about physical boundaries, but I wouldn’t assume it was anything sexual. Sent from my iPhone using Netmums
I would try not to freak out, I don’t know the boy but it’s possible that he’s maybe a bit immature in terms of his awareness of his body and he’s just in the process of exploring it and understanding it. Maybe he plays with himself a lot at home and isn’t allowed to do it in public, and seeing your little boy playing made him want to get naked too, not in a sexual way but more because it made him think about liking doing it, if that makes sense. I probably wouldn’t encourage the two of them being naked around each other again in case he’s similarly confused about physical boundaries, but I wouldn’t assume it was anything sexual. Sent from my iPhone using Netmums
Ok thank you. I don’t really have any experience with older boys and so I wasn’t sure how to interpret it, I was worried it was sexual but you are probably right, it was likely to be that he just wanted to play with himself. I know my sister has told me before that he plays with himself a lot and she encourages him to do it in private.
Hi, Because he said he felt weird about your little boy being naked, I wouldn't take it as anything pervy as he clearly wanted your little one to not be naked anymore. He possibly looked at your little boys 'equipment' then investigated his own to see if it was the same or saw something on your little one and was checking to see if he had similar. At 9, I think he's far too young to have been masterbating! I don't think he's mature enough at that age to have any sort of sex drive. I wouldn't worry about it. I would worry if he was touching your little boy but not as he touched himself. I do remember when I was younger that we were all playing in a paddling pool just in pants really and we were about 9/10 and I noticed all the girls had nothing on their top half (growth) but I felt I did a little so I went inside and looked in the mirror for ages and was feeling about wondering why, with them being the same age, they had nothing there and I did. I asked my mum a couple of days later and she explained it. I remember going back outside and saying we should all get dressed and play hide and seek instead as I felt uncomfortable and like I was different. That was cleared up when I spoke to my mum of course. I think it may be similar to that
Hi, Because he said he felt weird about your little boy being naked, I wouldn't take it as anything pervy as he clearly wanted your little one to not be naked anymore. He possibly looked at your little boys 'equipment' then investigated his own to see if it was the same or saw something on your little one and was checking to see if he had similar. At 9, I think he's far too young to have been masterbating! I don't think he's mature enough at that age to have any sort of sex drive. I wouldn't worry about it. I would worry if he was touching your little boy but not as he touched himself. I do remember when I was younger that we were all playing in a paddling pool just in pants really and we were about 9/10 and I noticed all the girls had nothing on their top half (growth) but I felt I did a little so I went inside and looked in the mirror for ages and was feeling about wondering why, with them being the same age, they had nothing there and I did. I asked my mum a couple of days later and she explained it. I remember going back outside and saying we should all get dressed and play hide and seek instead as I felt uncomfortable and like I was different. That was cleared up when I spoke to my mum of course. I think it may be similar to that
Hi, yes you’re right it probably wasn’t sexual but he was either masturbating or playing with it in a way that was sexual. He wasn’t just checking to see if he had the same. He was making all the motions of masturbating.
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Hi, yes you’re right it probably wasn’t sexual but he was either masturbating or playing with it in a way that was sexual. He wasn’t just checking to see if he had the same. He was making all the motions of masturbating.
Hmmm, that's a bit different then. Is your cousin someone you could approach and chat to about what happened? I think he is a bit too young to be considered a deviant or anything like that but any inappropriate behaviours should be nipped in the bud asap
I would mention it to your sister as its inappropriate to masturbate openly at other people’s houses but I would take no heed of the naked baby comment. I would also leave that out of the conversation with your sister in case she worries unnecessarily. If it makes him uncomfortable seeing a naked baby perhaps he’s becoming more aware generally of nudity and bodies and as someone said it’s probably made him think about his own willy which maybe he was trying to avoid!
Does the 9 year old have any younger siblings? It could be he wasn't used to seeing a naked body of a younger person. By a certain age kids start to cover up and feel self conscious, I know my 8 is starting to. Maybe worth mentioning to the mum, she may need to chat about bodies etc. My son went through a phase with his hands down his pants all the time and I just gently mentioned we do that in private.
I haven't read all the thread but I have experience of boys aged 9, I have a nephew aged 9, my stepson is 18 and my other stepson is 12. I have never witnessed any of them touching their penis and I would strongly advise you to tell his mum what he was doing. It's impossible to know what the reasoning behind his behaviour and so maybe it's best to let the person who knows him best (his mother) sort this out. It's not appropriate and he needs to learn that it's not OK to touch yourself in public. He is also at risk of being bullied for this behaviour and even worse it could be taken as some sort of sexual behaviour maybe toward another child even if this is not the case. I wouldn't be happy for my daughters to see my nephew if he was touching his man hood... I would avoid him. Sorry if this sounds harsh but you're worrying about a problem that isn't really yours to sort out. Tell his mum and let her sort him. Good luck x
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