List Of Common Kinks

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List Of Common Kinks



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The Most Common Kinks and Fetishes in the U.S.




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In the last few years, you may have noticed that fetishes and kinks are becoming more commonly discussed. Many people are more comfortable discussing their fetishes. In part, we can attribute this to the popularity of media such as Fifty Shades of Grey which catapulted communities like BDSM into the spotlight (inaccurately, though, as many people claim ). 
Unfortunately, “kink-shaming” is becoming a thing too. While many fetishes and kinks remain on the fringes of most people’s vocabulary and experiences, studies have shown that for many, they are simply a part of their sexual development and identity development. And the stigma around various kinks and fetishes can take a real toll on those that prefer them.
At Future Method, we believe intimacy should be healthy, judgment-free and safe for everyone, which includes eliminating the stigma around things like fetishes, where two consenting, safe, non-violent adults are involved. We also believe in making proper education backed by science accessible, which is part of our mission and why we run this blog! 
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While this isn't the complete glossary of terms when it comes to kinks and fetishes, the most common include:
Pondering all of this, we got to wondering–everyone’s got to be a little bit kinky, right? Even if not, there are certain fetishes that are more prevalent than others, whether individuals will admit to it or not. We’ve peeked behind the curtain in Google search term volume to reveal the various types of kinks and fetishes that rose to the top of the list in every state. Our result? Read on to find out!  
In all its glory, we present the Fetish Map of the United States of America. Which fetishes is your state Googling the most?
We have to commend Texas for staying true to its rodeo roots with a fascination with whipping. The same goes for tough, business-like New York with its leather fetish, and stifling hot Nevada with its...armpit fetish? Okay, that was a stretch. No offense to Nevada. 
Some of the most common fetishes in the United States include masochism, group play , sadism, sports gear, and armpits, in fact. Clearly, BDSM has a strong presence, and so do some other fun ways to play with your partner . 
This map displays the most commonly searched fetish in every state, but many may also be considered kinks. Wondering the difference, and maybe what some of these fetishes mean? Check out this handy guide to fetishes from A to Z. 
The map below organizes the most popular fetishes in the South, West, Northeast, and Midwest. 
As you can see, masochism, sadism, or BDSM as a whole is popular in three out of the four U.S. regions–except for the Midwest. We suppose they’re just too polite! Instead, Rooted Mama Health explains that Midwesterners prefer sports gear and group play, though, so maybe they’re not so innocent after all. 
In the South, suits are another most common fetish. The Northeast has a whopping nine tied for most popular, including BDSM, sadism, balloons, edging, group play, leather, nylons, sounding, and of course, the classic foot fetish. What’s going on up there, northerners? It certainly sounds fun. 
We tallied up the most popular fetishes in the United States in order. It makes for a fascinating list of kinks. You can view that chart below.
As seen in the graph above, the most common kinks in order are masochism, group sex, sadism, sports gear, armpits, balloons, BDSM, suits, used underwear, and voyeurism. We were surprised to learn that there are so many unique popular fetishes in the U.S. Many states have something they alone can call their favorite, which just goes to show how varied human desire can be! And we think that’s a beautiful thing. 
Did the Fetish Map of the United States of America shock you, intrigue you, or teach you something new? We certainly hope so, especially the latter, as that’s our goal here on Future Edition. We encourage our readers to practice safe play and pay special attention to how they prepare to play , which can truly heighten any experience you choose to experience by adding an ever-important factor: peace of mind.
Dr. Evan Goldstein is the Co-Founder of Future Method and the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, the leading private practice in health and wellness for gay men. He received his MD from the University of Medicine and Dentistry School of Osteopathic Medicine. Dr. Goldstein is the go-to butt and bottoming expert, having been published in Huffington Post, Men’s Health, Healthline, and more. Learn about Dr. Goldstein by visiting his practice, bespokesurgical.com .
The views expressed in this article intend to highlight alternative studies and induce conversation. They are the views of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Future Method, and are for informational purposes only, even if and to the extent that this article features the advice of physicians and medical practitioners. This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice.
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June 13, 2022, 1:30 PM · 19 min read
Kinks and Fetishes: An A to Z Guide
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Although kinks and fetishes are becoming more mainstream, they can still feel taboo. Secretly scouring the internet for a list of kinks to try with your partner can feel subversive and, frankly, uncomfortable.
For the uninitiated, learning about kinks and fetishes may feel intimidating , so first things first: understanding what is a kink and what is a fetish. A kink is defined as a sexual activity that falls outside of sex that society traditionally considers “acceptable.” That can include everything from role playing to bondage to whips. A fetish technically refers to an attraction to an inanimate object, although this includes body parts, such as feet (like a foot fetish). So a fetish is a type of kink.
No matter what you’re into, kink is about consent, communication, and compromise. Before trying any new sex act, obtaining enthusiastic, continuous consent from all parties involved is a must. Your kinks may not perfectly align with your partner’s, and that’s okay. “Just because you want it doesn’t mean that someone has to do it,” says sex educator Tina Horn, host of the podcast Why Are People Into That?! As you explore, what you’re okay with and what you’re not will likely change, so it’s important to keep a running dialogue about your limits (for more on that, see L on this list).
To better orient yourself in the world of kink, check out this list of kinks Glamour created—one for each letter of the alphabet. Who knows? Maybe one (or more!) of them will be something you want to explore.
Age play is a form of role play in which one or both partners pretend to be (and get off on being) an age other than their own. Chances are you’ve already experienced what could be considered ultra-lite age play if you’ve ever called a partner “baby” in bed. Another common example is the “daddy dominant–baby girl” setup. If you’re calling someone “daddy” in bed, you’re engaging in light age play. A more extreme and less common example of age play is full-on role playing wherein one partner is turned on by wearing a diaper and acting like a baby. Calling someone “baby” or dressing up like one is totally okay if everyone involved is into it. “It involves consent of all involved,” explains sex therapist David Ortmann , author of Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities . If age play turns you on, start out slow by using words like baby or daddy next time you and your partner are getting frisky.
Bondage is a form of restraint—pretty self-explanatory. It’s a sex act that falls within the BDSM umbrella, which is an acronym for “bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism” and a group of common sexual fantasies . Some people enjoy being tied up, while some enjoy tying up their partner, and others like both. Someone who enjoys both the dominant and submissive role is referred to as a switch. Typically bondage uses kinky sex toys such as handcuffs or rope, but it can also be as tame as you using a scarf, a tie, or a T-shirt to restrain your partner's wrists when you're getting it on. To get into it, you can tie someone up to a bed frame using a tie or scarf or, if your bed frame isn’t kink-compatible, you could start by simply binding the arms together. To up the ante, you can purchase shackle mounts or suspension bars .
“Traditionally, cuckolding is when a heterosexual couple agrees to both explore the turn-on of the female sleeping with other men and humiliating her male partner about the fact that she’s sleeping with someone else,” says Horn. The male partner need not be present—perhaps he gets off on the mere thought of his partner having sex with someone else. For others, there’s an element of voyeurism to the cuckolding as well. This kink isn’t just for heterosexual couples—people of all genders and orientations can enjoy cuckolding varieties. If you’re turned on by the idea of your partner sleeping with others yet don’t necessarily want to go through the emotional tax and risk of them literally having sex with others, you can explore this kink through dirty talk or virtual sex with a third party.
Dominance is one half of BDSM, the D.S. part (dominance and submission), and is all about a consensual power exchange. With this particular kink, the dominant partner derives sexual pleasure from taking control. The submissive partner allows their dominant partner to, well, dominate them à la 50 Shades of Grey . Important note: Though the books and movies did help make BDSM kinks more mainstream, they’re not totally accurate. Despite what the movie would have you believe, there’s no research that suggests dominants enjoy D.S. activities, such as spanking their partner, due to childhood trauma. And nope, you do not have to sign any sort of contract—all you need is enthusiastic consent from all parties involved.
Electrostimulation involves using the power of electricity—i.e., getting an electric shock—for kinky, sexy fun. Obviously, getting shocked can be dangerous, so electrostimulation begins to get into another type of kink called edge play, which refers to risky BDSM behavior that runs the potential of doing actual bodily harm. Electrostimulation is part of CBT (cock and ball torture) sessions in which a domme shocks her sub’s genitals by rigging them to electrical contraptions—typically either a wand (see Z on this list) or a system that stimulates nerve endings called a transcutaneous electrical nerve endings stimulation unit—that can be purchased from specialty kink shops. This is one of those preferences for which you need to be extremely careful to take the correct safety precautions, use an ironclad safeword, and obtain continuous, enthusiastic consent.
Foot fetishes are one of the most common fetishes out there, especially for heterosexual men. Someone with a foot fetish is literally turned on by feet—thinking about them, touching them, seeing them—and could potentially get off on everything feet. They often want to engage in foot worship, in which they treat their partner’s foot like a holy object: kissing, caressing, and massaging it. So even if you don’t have a foot fetish, having a partner with one can be extremely enjoyable as it means there could be foot massages galore in store for you. But like all kinks, foot fetishes exist on a spectrum. Humiliation can also play a strong role in a foot fetish: The fetishist may want feet shoved in their face and mouth, or to have their partner walk all over them, touting how filthy their feet are and how pathetic the fetishist is to enjoy such an activity. Other foot fetish activities include giving pedicures and smelling the feet or shoes that said feet reside in throughout the day.
Gagging refers to lightly choking on an object to the point of making gagging sounds. Often people with penises will get off on their partner gagging on them—and the knowledge that they’re big enough to induce gagging noises. Likewise, the partner going downtown may enjoy having something thrust far enough down their throat that they start to gag. It doesn’t necessarily take a giant object to induce gagging—something smaller can do the trick too. However, if gagging becomes uncomfortable or if you feel like you’re going to throw up (if that’s not something you want to do), you should stop at any point you feel even a little bit off. Remember, kink is all about continuous consent and what makes you feel your sexiest.
Not all BDSM acts are physical. “Intense language as a use of force can be just as intense, or even more intense, as consensually degrading physical sensations, such as impact play,” Horn says. A common example of humiliation is name-calling and verbal abuse. One of the most common misconceptions about humiliation play is that it’s antifeminist. But the truth is, many feminists enjoy being called names such as “bitch,” “slut,” or “whore” in bed—your kinks are not your values. In a patriarchal world where women have long been told sex is not for pleasure, addressing what gets you off—especially if it’s nontraditional like humiliation—and then engaging it can be a powerful way to take control of your sexuality. As always, discuss humiliation beforehand and keep it consensual. Your partner may be okay with being called a “slut” but not a “bitch,” so be sure to define your boundaries.
Impact play refers to the use of hands, paddles, whips, or whatever you have around your house (spatulas work great) to hit the body. If you’ve ever playfully spanked your partner during sex, that’s impact play. More than anything else, impact play requires consent and communication. A good rule to keep in mind: If you’re the one providing the impact, stick to areas that are fatty, such as the side of the butt or thighs, and avoid anywhere organs reside, such as the kidneys (lower back) or rib cage. As with any new kink, start small, start slow, and choose a safeword. Impact play can be done alone yet also pairs well with other kinks, such as name-calling and age play. If you’re new to the idea, start with your hands and some good old-fashioned spanking before spending money on more heavy-duty whips and floggers. If anything becomes uncomfortable (and not in a good way), implement your safeword immediately.
Japanese bondage is one variety of bondage that is typically done with rope. Kinbaku translates to “the beauty of tight binding” and shibari, which is a bit more mainstream, translates to “decoratively tie.” Decoratively is right: Japanese bondage such as shibari is an art form in addition to a form of bondage (there’s even an entire shibari section on Etsy ). Some of the best shibari artists, such as Garth Knight, hold high-art showcases in which their subjects are tied up and transformed into trees . If you’re interested in exploring Japanese bondage, More Shibari You Can Use: Passionate Rope Bondage and Intimate Connection by Lee Harrington and Rigger Jay is perfect for beginners. Just don’t forget your safety shears !
Klismaphilia is a glamorous Greek word that means “arousal by enemas.” If you’re not familiar, an enema is a medical device that squirts water slightly warmer than body temperature into your anus. It’s used by hospitals to relieve people of constipation or to prep for certain medical procedures. (Not quite as glamorous as the Greek word makes it sound.) This particular kink generally refers to receiving pleasure from receiving an enema, although there are those who get off on administering enemas as well. The anus is an erogenous zone, after all, which helps explain why kinky folks have been using enemas for pleasure forever. This kink can also be quite practical—it’s a way to clean and prep the rectum for anal sex.
Consent is paramount in kink. If you’re just getting started, or want to slowly introduce BDSM into an existing relationship, both you and your partner should make a list of your soft and hard limits. A soft limit is something that you’re curious about yet unsure if it’s right for you, such as name-calling. A hard limit is something that you are certain is off-limits, such as electrostimulation. Writing out your hard and soft limits with a partner is a wonderful way to get to know another side of each other. Along with implementing limits, it’s important to choose a safeword that is not no or stop, because some couples use such language as a part of their role play. Your hard and soft limits will likely evolve the more you explore, so it’s important to keep having these conversations with your partner.
“Masochism is deriving pleasure from the high sensation most often referred to as pain, be that physical or emotional,” Ortmann says. So if you enjoy being spanked, humiliated, or spit on, you might be a masochist. The term is named for Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, a 19th-century Austrian author who wrote the book Venus in Furs, which details what’s now considered a typical BDSM “master-slave” relationship (he allegedly was the “slave” in his own such arrangement with his mistress). The flip side of masochism is sadism (named after an 18th-century French nobleman), in which someone derives pleasure from inflicting pain of a physical or emotional nature.
A nylon fetish—yep, as in tights—often accompanies a foot fetish. One with a nylon fetish may enjoy the look and feeling of toes, feet, and legs wrapped tightly in nylon stockings. They may want to smell the nylons, or have them shoved in their mouth. if you want to try it, start by wearing nylons next time you get frisky (assuming you don’t mind tearing them), or have your partner tie you up with them or use them as a blindfold for sensory deprivation. (Side note: While bondage is a kink, using nylons for bondage is separate from having a nylon fetish, in which the nylons themselves produce the sexual arousal, rather than their usage.)
Objectum sexuality—a.k.a. a fetish—refers to a sexual relationship (or attraction to) an inanimate object. The media frequently portray objectum sexuals as freaks and weirdos falling in love with things such as the Eiffel Tower, a boat, or their couch. However, such an understanding of objectum sexuality is limited. By literal definition, a fetish—any fetish—is an attraction to an inanimate object. This includes lingerie, feet, and sex toys, so if you’ve ever fantasized about your vibrator, welcome to the world of fetish. In fact, in the age of rapidly advancing sex-doll technology, we may all soon be a little bit
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