List Bdsm

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List Bdsm
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This is a list of educational, campaigning and community organizations related to BDSM .

Where an organization clearly indicates on its website that membership is restricted by gender or sexual orientation , this is noted. Many BDSM organizations of the social/community variety will require prospective members to attend an orientation meeting, where among other things, the organizers will attempt to screen out the obviously mentally ill and those whose interest in BDSM is professional (for example as journalists or law enforcement personnel) rather than personal.



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A checklist for BDSM activities? That sounds more like coursework than fun intercourse. However, hear us out! A BDSM checklist can be a practical way to communicate your desires and experience levels to your partner — and to learn theirs in turn. Of course, filling out a checklist for BDSM can also be fun and can introduce you to new activities to try!
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A BDSM checklist can be a useful tool in your relationship. That’s exactly why we created this one that you can fill out with your partner.
Obviously, it helps you and a new partner get on the same page. You’ll know one another’s interests and experiences.
If you’re a BDSM beginner, the options available to you might be mind-blowing, and a checklist is a great place to start so you aren’t too overwhelmed. Don’t forget to read our BDSM for beginners guide .
But a BDSM checklist is also helpful for existing partners. It might unveil an interest or highlight an activity that you’re only doing for your partner. As interests and experiences change, you can update your BDSM checklist and check in with one another. You might decide to try something new or scale back from an activity that neither of you really enjoys.
This doesn’t mean that you need to have a partner to get use out of a BDSM checklist. As a single person, you can discover more about yourself and perhaps focus on what you really want from sex and/or BDSM partners in the future.
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Note that you don’t necessarily need a checklist. Some people have fewer BDSM interests, and they’ve discussed those with their partners. You may have been together long enough that you don’t think filling out a checklist will be a good use of your time. That’s okay. You can also skip sections if you know you have no interest in them whatsoever.
Some BDSM couples use a modified checklist as part of their BDSM contract. This list is usually shorter than the one you’ll find below and may simply be a list of those interests that you’re not interested in, also known as limits.
Psst, if you’re looking for another tool, we now offer a test to find out your sexual and blueprint and BDSM personality!
A BDSM checklist, like a safe word, is sometimes painted as something that’s only useful for people who identify as submissive. But we don’t agree with that! A dominant person may prefer to try or avoid specific activities, which could be a problem if you only like leather but your submissive partner loves rope bondage. Plus, some people are switches.
So go ahead and fill out the checklist no matter how you identify!
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Furthermore, you don’t need to be into BDSM to have a sexual checklist. You can do something similar with a sexual checklist. Simply enter activities such as anal, or vaginal sex and your interest and experience levels with each activity.
You can copy this BDSM checklist below to your own Google account and edit it to become a sexual checklist.
Check out our sexual bucket list for ideas that you can try and check off.
But don’t think that all BDSM is hardcore. Read this post on sexual domination to learn more.
Our BDSM checklist view only, so you’ll need to copy the file to your Google Drive or download it to your computer to use it.
Both you and your partner can copy the checklist to fill out your interest in specific activities. If you’re someone who is interested in being both a dominant and submissive (a switch), you can use the comments to specify which activities you like, in which role.
Psst, does your partner want you to be more dominant? Tips for being dominant here.
The comments section for each line might also be useful if you need to remark on any health issues. Perhaps you like tying rope knots but have arthritis.
Use comments to let your partner know if you’ve had a negative experience with an activity in the past but are still interested or want to try again.
If there are any activities you don’t see on this list (such as those from this complete list of kinks ), you can add them in the “Comments” section at the bottom of the document.
You probably don’t need any instruction from here, but we have a couple ideas that can make filling out our BDSM checklist more fun, interesting or sexy.
When dominants make filling out the BDSM checklist an assignment for their submissive partners, it can help the submissive partner to open up about needs or desires that have been difficult to talk about. This brings us to our next point.
Guess what? You can keep things hots with these 6 BDSM games.
When we answer questions about ourselves, we often have a tendency to paint ourselves in the best light. You’re not necessarily lying because you’re doing this on on a subconscious level. But it’s something you want to stay away from when it comes to BDSM, which can potentially be risky.
When filling out our BDSM spreadsheet, be sure to be completely honest about your experience and interest. Otherwise, you might find yourself submitting to an intense flogging because you said you were more experienced than you were. How would your partner know? You can always increase stimulation as you go. But you could be mentally or physically hurt if you start too soon.
Furthermore, you shouldn’t express interest in any activity if you’re not actually interested in it. If you won’t ever try an activity, it’s okay to list it as a hard limit.
You’ll also find that one of the options for interest level in the Bad Girls Bible BDSM Checklist is “may try for a partner.” It shows that you’re willing to try, but you don’t find the activity personally appealing. Once you try, you might realize that you do like it, be willing to continue doing it because it’s your partner’s kink, or not want to do it again. At this point, you can update your checklist.
However, you need to have discussions about these things as well. Do not rely on your checklist solely as your method of communication. We know that talking about sex can be difficult, which is why we wrote a guide to help you talk about sex.
Finally, this checklist doesn’t negotiate the use of your safe word during a scene. A safe word lets your partner know if you’re okay, need to stop or want to slow things down (or keep them at the same pace/stimulation level). Just because you’ve expressed interest or even a predilection for a certain BDSM activity doesn’t mean you always want to do it or desire to do it intensely.
Using a safe word is one of 8 BDSM rules that keep things safe, sane, and sexy. Discover all 8 BDSM rules here .
Once you’ve finished filling out your checklist and your partner has done the same, you’ll want to compare them. We’ve got some advice in this department.
If your BDSM checklist looks nothing at all like your partner’s or you both prefer to be on top, you might have issues. You might not be sexually satisfied if he can’t be a powerful dominant, for example. However, this checklist can be the catalyst for a conversation that helps you better meet each another’s needs.
Remember, you don’t need to try everything on your checklist immediately. Take your time. Even if you’re excited to get started changing your “interested but not experienced” entries, these activities take research and practice to get right. BDSM tools and items can also be pricey. You don’t want to run up your credit card bill only to realize how much you’re really not into mummification or full-body suspension.
Your BDSM checklist can be a useful tool, perhaps one that you keep hanging on the refrigerator or someplace a little more discreet ;). Refer back to it and update it as your preferences and relationship changes. But if you don’t need a BDSM checklist, you can skip this step as long as you play safely.
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Lovely spreadsheet. However there’s a problem with the dropdown menu in the experience row. it should be checklist B8-B14. what I downloaded had the function written with A8-A14. Very frustrating going thru the cells and not seeing the menu and having to write it out
What happened to the checklist with the rewards and punishments that were included in the list?
if you copy and paste the table for the experience into cells a9=a14 you wont have to edit any of the data validation or change any of the preset formula. the drop downs should work fine for you then.
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When I first started exploring kink/BDSM in 2015, I wanted to know what I enjoyed. What I was interested in exploring. What my partner wanted to explore. That’s what prompted my search for the best BDSM limits checklist available.
At the time, I had NO idea how to initiate conversations about kink with my partner, and I also didn’t know what to look for in a limit list. At first, I thought it was enough that it had lots of items and was comprehensive. Then, I thought recording my interest in giving and receiving certain activities was enough. As I began introducing people to kink and BDSM, I quickly realized the best BDSM limits checklist really would have even more features.
Below, I highlight the top things to look for or include in a limits list. Whether you’re purchasing a pre-existing template, using one you’ve found on the internet, or creating your own, this information is invaluable.
The first and absolutely most basic thing to look for (or to include) in your limits list is a spot for basic info: name, scene name, health considerations, trauma triggers. In the BDSM limits checklist I designed, Erotically Empowered Limits List™ , I also included spots for gender pronouns, sexual orientation, Erotic Blueprint™ design, and an emergency contact.
Unlike most limits checklists, which have spots for basic info at the top of the limits list, I created a separate tab just for information. You can see the limits list in action towards the bottom of this blog post.
While it’s never mandatory to fill out ALL this information, it is important to identify known and possible triggers. BDSM can activate (read: trigger) folx with a history of trauma, so identifying triggers in advance mitigates a lot of upset and helps the scene go well. It’s also important to identify physical, emotional, and mental health issues that might affect the scenes you create.
Many people are not interested in giving and receiving all activities. Some are willing to receive (bottoming) but feel uncomfortable being the giver (top). And vice versa.
For my part, I LOVE bottoming for flogging. That means I’m the one getting flogged. While I like flogging others, it’s not as much of a turn on for me. It’s enjoyable, it’s okay, I like it, but I don’t LOVE it. On my limits list for flogging, I’ve noted that I’m a “10 out of 10” when it comes to receiving, and a “7” when it comes to giving.
From there, my partner(s) see that I really like flogging. They might say to themselves, “Okay, Kelly Noel really likes bottoming for (receiving) flogging. I really enjoy topping for (giving) flogging. Let’s make sure to incorporate flogging into some of our scenes.”
In this way, the limit list guides communication around sex, kink/BDSM, and other erotic play. It also supports you and your partners in making fewer assumptions about “what’s a hell yes” and what’s “a hard no.” It makes your communication proactive, rather than reactive.
The best BDSM limits checklists are comprehensive, which means they have A LOT of inventory items. An inventory item is any activity, toy, or fetish that you might explore. Common examples include blindfolds, handcuffs, and spanking. I’ve found that comprehensive lists have between 275-300 inventory items… there’s a lot of fetishes and toys out there to include!
When you’re new to kink and BDSM, you may have a lot of “unknown” or “curious to try” noted on your list.That’s okay and completely normal. You haven’t tried those activities and don’t know if you like it yet. That’s part of the beauty with kink and BDSM… it’s a journey. It’s an exploration. There’s so much to discover along the way.
These “best of the best” checklists also separate the inventory items by category so you can easily find what you’re looking for.
With the Erotically Empowered Limits List™, the seven activity categories are filterable. That means you can easily hide all the inventory items in a particular category. (Or show just the items in one category.) This approach helps reduce overwhelm and fatigue when filling out a limits list.
After all, 275+ different activities (many of which may be new or unfamiliar) is a lot to think about all in one go. In the past, it’s taken me 2-3 hours at a time (if not longer) to fill out all the items.
Limit list fatigue is real. So it’s important to create or use a limits list that considers the end-user’s experience and is easy to fill out.
[Related: Make Sex Healing, Not Shameful]
As both a BDSM educator and holistic trauma healer, I’ve learned it’s important to have strategies in place to support people with existing trauma. Even hearing about kink and BDSM can activate folx with in-process and unhealed trauma, and it can make their healing journey longer or more challenging.
At a minimum, a BDSM limits checklist should include a spot to list known and active triggers. This element is essential.
It makes it less likely that your kinky play will activate one of the people involved. It also empowers you to have proactive communication with all parties involved and to play safely.
But just because the checklist includes a spot for you to list triggers doesn’t mean the limit list is trauma-aware. For the limit list to be trauma-aware, it will actively focus on ways to reduce emotional distress for folx with trauma.
With Erotically Empowered Limits List™, for example, the default view is of “Mild ” activities only. That means that someone who has trauma isn’t going to see the more intense kinds of play when the look at the limit list unless they intentionally choose to. In total, there’s four different intensity categories: Mild , Hot , Spicy , and Edge Play .
There’s also a couple places for people to indicate if a particular activity might activate them. This limit list includes a spot to list triggers on the “Basic Info” tab, which is common. But it also includes a spot to list triggers next to each inventory item. In the “Triggers” column, there’s a simple drop-down: YES, NO, UNKNOWN.
This approach invites kinksters to identify their known AND possible but unknown triggers. It’s just another strategy to keep people safe during their kinky and erotic play.
Having flexibility in your BDSM limit list is also important. If you’re a newcomer to kink, where you start is often NOT where you end up. When I first started exploring kink, my partner was scratching, pinching, or spanking me. All of these are mild forms of pain play, better known as S&M (sadism and masochism). Now, I prefer being on the receiving end of a flogger, paddle, bat, or crop.
When you start, you want a limit list that exposes you to mild activities. As you learn more about kink and BDSM, you want a limit list that also has more advanced forms of play. If a limit list can clue you in on where to start, it takes out A LOT of the guesswork.
Make sure that any other features that the limit list has makes you feel safe, seen, and supported. Feel free to tweak any template you do see so that it matches you and aligns with your needs. After all, the reason a limit list exists is to serve and support YOU in playing more safely and feeling sexually liberated, being erotically empowered.
As you’re looking at using a BDSM limit checklist, there’s three routes you can explore: 1) You can find one for free online. 2) You can create your own from scratch. 3) You can learn more or snag your own copy of Erotically Empowered Limit List™ here .
If you decide to opt for a free option, the best one that I’ve found online is at Discerning Specialist . It’s the limit list that I was using before I designed Erotically Empowered Limit List™. That limit list, while free, is NOT trauma-friendly. I’d also argue it’s not beginner-friendly.
I know what it’s like to feel fatigue and overwhelm looking at a BDSM limits checklist. I’ve repeatedly felt that overwhelm, even as an experienced practitioner. So that was the issue I wanted to address. For me, my clients, and kinksters. And I’m constantly updating this template to make it even safer and more user-friendly.
Check out the demo below. In the 6-minute video, you’ll get to see specific features and elements of the limit list. No, Erotically Empowered Limit List™ isn’t a freebie, but I promise you’ll be glad you invested in it.
Kelly Noel Zeva (they/them) is a holistic sex coach, energy healer, and the CEO of Erotic Empowerment. The creator of the Zeva System™, Kelly Noel geeks out about Harry Potter, past life regressions, trauma-informed energy healing, creative writing, and magikink™ (kink/BDSM used to accelerate spirit
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