Limp Dick Can T Get Hard

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4 Reasons Why Soft Penises Are Underrated
Sexuality and RelationshipInternationally Known Sex Educator for Women, Author, Founder, Back to The Body: Sensuous Retreats For Women
When men reach out to me, it’s usually about their fears surrounding having and sustaining erections. Men — just like women — worry about getting it on. And in our culture, it’s all about penetrative sex (intercourse), big hard cocks and staying power. But what if it’s not? What if we allowed men to feel their bodies in different ways and, as a result, got to experience sex in the full spectrum of intimacy and pleasure?
A hard penis is not everything when it comes to making love. It’s simply not all there is.
Going “Beyond Hard” Tips:

1. The number one myth of a soft cock is that the man is not feeling desire. This is simply not true. There are many reasons why a man has a limp penis before or during sexual activity that have nothing to do with his desire for you. So please do not take it as an indicator that your lover doesn’t want you. It’s sad that in our society we have been trained to believe that the sign of desire in a man is erection. Dump that myth.
2. Soft cocks can feel pleasure and have orgasms. Many people ignore the soft cock. If he can’t get it up, he can’t have sex or orgasms. Nonsense. The issue is that we have taught men that they are broken if they cannot get hard. So we shame them, and they withdraw. Men can experience pleasure, desire and orgasm with a soft penis. Some of the best masculine lovers I know do not have hard penises. It’s time to offer the soft penis the same appreciation that the hard one receives.
Touch them, love them, and admire soft cocks — just like you would like to be desired, loved and admired. What if we allowed men to really feel the pleasure and intimacy of sharing a soft penis with their lover shamelessly?
3. Men are always expected to be “penetrative” — and not “receptive” — when it comes to sex. In other words, their job is to be the “taker” and the “giver”. He is the one who enters. During intercourse the penis may soften and — along with that (if it is allowed and not shamed) — a man’s heart may soften too. He may become more vulnerable with his lover and more open. As a result, the emphasis may shift to a feeling that is perhaps more subtle and intimate. If allowed, it’s possible for sexual energy to spread throughout the man’s body, and a feeling of connectedness may occur when he stops focusing on penetration and simply floats in feeling and in uniting with his lover’s body. What if everybody stopped performing sex and moved into feeling sex? As a sex educator, I spend a lot of time talking about women connecting their hearts to their vaginas. What if men got to connect their cocks to their hearts too?
4. When men are permission-ed to experience sexuality from a place of softness it’s actually possible for them to experience what it’s like to be penetrated by his partner energetically or with his partner’s hands, or body to body. This is known as energetic sex and can be felt in the body of lovers as almost a meditative state of bliss. The love neurotransmitter oxytocin can begin to flow between partners, and lovers can experience a much deeper heart connection with less thrusting and movement. Think about bringing the focus to soft movements, breath, eye gazing and body-to-body connection. How much can you feel everywhere?
Men who have lived their lives with erections and have depended on the “hard on” to get it on, need to learn other ways of having penetrative sex. We can penetrate our lovers in so many ways; we just have to learn how. We simply don’t teach men how to have penetrative sex without a hard on — and it can be amazing for the receiver to have something different than the usual offerings.
Men with soft cocks can learn how to “take” their partner just like a man with a hard one. And there are opportunities to learn all kinds of ways to be the best lover you have ever been. Losing your ability to get a hard on or sustain one for a long period of time might actually be a gift to your partner, especially if you both can see it as an opportunity to learn what is available in the spectrum of sexuality and love making. Just getting hard and screwing can get pretty dull.
Sometimes, an orgasmic opportunity can come from what initially feels like a loss!
Most Common Sex Myths About Boomers
After what may be decades of commitment and teamwork in a marriage, couples often reach a point when they stop viewing sex as a necessity in a relationship now built upon the strong tenets of trust, friendship and love. A lack of sex in a marriage, however, can turn couples into buddies or quasi-roommates and make that special spark even harder to ignite.
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Part of MultiCultural/HPMG News. ©2021 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.

How to Treat Your Erectile Dysfunction
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Sexual Health
 
How to Treat Your Erectile Dysfunction
After an incredible night out, you’re ready to get hot and heavy in the bedroom. With your date back at your apartment, you drop your pants to reveal your soft, limp penis.
Despite your best efforts, it’s not getting any bigger (you know, like it’s supposed to). Then, it gets worse —your crush tries to get you erect through foreplay and stimulation, and still, you can’t get it up. If this embarrassing experience sounds painfully familiar, you, my friend, might be suffering from erectile dysfunction.
While drinking too much alcohol can lead to the infamous “whiskey dick,” there are some other reasons why you might not be able to stay erect before or during sex. We reached out to some penis professionals to learn what might be causing someone’s erectile dysfunction (more commonly referred to as ED), as well as what can be done to help remedy the situation.
“Getting and staying hard typically makes use of the brain, nerves, blood vessels, and the chemical messengers sending signals to tissue in the penis to get erect or go soft,” explains Craig Keyes, MD, CEO and founder of Rev for Men. “When any one of these components isn't working optimally, our erections are less than [what] we want.” 
In older men, the issue tends to stem from suboptimal function of blood vessels.
“Blood vessel dysfunction can be caused by a variety of factors that include low testosterone, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, obesity, or diabetes. Decrease in erection hardness often goes hand-in-hand with hair loss, graying hair, and a beer belly,” says Alex Shteynshlyuger, MD, Director of Urology at New York Urology Specialists. “In other words, as men get older, the blood vessels get ‘rusty.’”
In a similar vein (yep, we said it), various forms of nerve damage can inhibit one’s ability to get an erection. According to Keyes, a few conditions that could cause nerve damage include multiple sclerosis, diabetes, injury, surgery, and radiation.
In younger, healthy men without any nerve damage or blood vessel dysfunction, the root of the ED typically stems from “chemical messenger” interruptions.
Meaning, there’s a disconnect between certain medications commonly prescribed to treat anxiety, hypertension, ADD, and allergies, and the penis. Specific-serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are commonly used to treat depression and anxiety, are commonly known to cause a loss of libido and erectile dysfunction in men. As mentioned above, alcohol, as well as certain party drugs such as cocaine and methamphetamine, can also lead to ED.
“Stress at home, at work, or at school may also lead to erectile dysfunction in otherwise healthy men,” adds Shteynshlyuger. Stress increases sympathetic tone in the body, which narrows the blood vessels and makes it more difficult to get an erection. Sometimes a good vacation is all on needs.” He also notes that it’s not always that simple when trying to relieve stress with things like yoga, acupuncture, or other stress-reduction techniques. Odds are you’ve probably tried to ameliorate some stressors prior to having ED, but did so unsuccessfully. Then, it becomes another factor compounding stress.
There’s also the big issue that can affect men in their teens, 20s, and 30s, which Shteynshlyuger calls “situational performance anxiety.” Meaning, sex with a new partner can typically be both exciting and nerve-wracking. Especially if you really like them, you want to be great the first time it happens. This added pressure inhibits your ability to stay hard. Then, you can become obsessive. You worry that you won’t be able to get hard, which in turn becomes a self-fulling prophecy. Even if your physical nerves are intact, your metaphorical nerves could be the root of the problem.
Keyes adds to this by pointing out how “under-performing begets further anxiety.” 
Performance anxiety, however, isn’t as simple to address as age-related blood vessel dysfunction. “Telling someone to ‘relax’ is as foolish advice for performance anxiety as ‘just say no’ is for drug rehabilitation,” explains Keyes.
“Situational ED caused by performance anxiety usually afflicts men when they try to get sexually active with new partners,” adds Shteynshlyuger. “Fortunately, situational performance anxiety is usually temporary and disappears after a few months once you are comfortable and confident in your ability to get good erections with a new sexual partner.”
But what if it doesn’t stop happening? What if your performance anxiety is too strong, keeping you from having casual one-night stands? Or, worst case scenario, your partner decides to move onto someone new because they felt sexually unsatisfied? Many people don’t want to twiddle their thumbs until you finally pop that boner. Time is of the essence.
Even though the root of the issue might be different, Keyes notes, “It’s not unusual for the treatments to be similar for very different causes of poor erectile performance.” Luckily, there are numerous options to fix ED.
The gold standard treatment for ED are medications known as PDE-5 inhibitor, such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. You take it typically 30-60 minutes before you want to have an erection.
“These medications are nearly 100 percent effective in treating men with situational ED, but are also effective for 80-85 percent of men with erectile dysfunction caused by blood vessel dysfunction,” cites Shteynshlyuger.
Nowadays, getting prescribed a PDE-5 inhibitor is easier than it’s ever been before. You no longer need to go into a doctor’s office thanks to companies such as Roman, where you can receive genuine ED medication from a licensed pharmacy and have it shipped discreetly to your door. 
While pills are typically the first method a doctor will prescribe to help with ED, there are still other options if PDE-5 inhibitors don’t work for you.
“Shockwave therapy for ED is an innovative treatment option that does not require medications,” explains Shteynshlyuger.
Treatment consists of noninvasive low-intensity sound waves that pass through erectile tissue, restoring natural erectile function by clearing plaque out of blood vessels and encouraging the growth of new blood vessels.
“[It’s] a good option for men with blood vessel dysfunction caused by high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, and diabetes,” adds Shteynshlyuger.
Nevertheless, shockwave therapy is still in its early stages and is yet to be FDA-approved. The verdict is still out on its efficacy, and a recent study published in the Journal of Urology illustrated that its effectiveness declines after two years, particularly in those with initial severe dysfunction. Nevertheless, some scientists believe it can become a panacea for ED in the future. 
While it may sound somewhat intense (because, you know, you have to put a needle into your penis), penile injections, where medication are injected into the base of the shaft, are a “safe and effective” alternative for men who don’t respond to Viagra and Cialis. Trimix, Caverject, and Edex are the main injectables used to treat ED. “They are self-administered by men with a tiny needle at home ten to fifteen minutes prior to sex,” notes Shteynshlyuger.
It’s surprisingly easy to self-administer at home once you get over the initial fear. It comes highly recommended for candidates for whom PDE-5 inhibitors don’t work. It only takes a couple of minutes to self-administer, and one usually gets hard 5-10 minutes after taking it. Erections then typically last between one and two hours.
Still, Keyes believes it’s not the best option for men “who cannot demonstrate safe injection technique or responsible use habits, such as overdosing, non-sterile technique, or administering medication to others not prescribed.” Additionally, he doesn’t recommend it for “men with conditions of scar tissue in the penis that make erection painful or impossible.”
He believes the men in the latter category are better candidates for the next option.
Often referred to as the “bionic penis,” an inflatable penile implant is the Rolls-Royce of treatment for erectile dysfunction. “It works when no other treatment works, and it’s the choice of treatment for many adult movie stars. With a penile implant, you can last for hours without losing an erection,” says Shteynshlyuger.
It is, however, extremely invasive. There are few types of inflatable penis implants, one of the more common ones being the three-piece inflatable pump, which involves placing two cylinders in the penis, an inflatable pump in the scrotum, and a fluid-filled container in the abdomen. All of these components are connected by special tubing.
Prior to having sex, one squeezes the pump in the scrotum to move the fluid to the container cylinders causing an erection. A release valve is squeezed to move the fluid out of the cylinders to return to a flaccid state. This option is typically reserved as a last resort when other treatment methods prove unsuccessful.
Both urologists have made abundantly clear that there’s no bad option to fixing erectile dysfunction. It may just take a little bit of effort to figure out what makes the most sense for you and your Johnson.
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Limp Dick Can T Get Hard