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An inmate known as Bubbles is being transported to Chastity Prison where she will be forced to wear a chastity belt for the duration of her stay. Bubbles is a repeat offender on the streets. With a history of drug running and prostitution, it is only a matter of time before she winds up in jail for more time. Despite her history, it seems no amount of jail time can calm this deviant. In fact, she has quite a history in jail with many instances of deviant behavior among her fellow inmates. A little bit of playtime with her cellmate here, a more forceful incident of deviance with another. She is almost practically running the prison.
And Now, Your Finest and Filthiest Stories About Summer Camp
The 18 Best New Menswear Items to Buy This Week
29 Excellent Gift Ideas to Spoil All the Deserving Guys Out There
The Legend of the World’s Greatest Sweatshirt
The 18 Best New Menswear Items to Buy This Week
29 Excellent Gift Ideas to Spoil All the Deserving Guys Out There
The Legend of the World’s Greatest Sweatshirt
The 18 Best New Menswear Items to Buy This Week
29 Excellent Gift Ideas to Spoil All the Deserving Guys Out There
The Legend of the World’s Greatest Sweatshirt
The 18 Best New Menswear Items to Buy This Week
29 Excellent Gift Ideas to Spoil All the Deserving Guys Out There
The Legend of the World’s Greatest Sweatshirt
The 18 Best New Menswear Items to Buy This Week
29 Excellent Gift Ideas to Spoil All the Deserving Guys Out There
The Legend of the World’s Greatest Sweatshirt
The 18 Best New Menswear Items to Buy This Week
29 Excellent Gift Ideas to Spoil All the Deserving Guys Out There
The Legend of the World’s Greatest Sweatshirt
The 18 Best New Menswear Items to Buy This Week
29 Excellent Gift Ideas to Spoil All the Deserving Guys Out There
The Legend of the World’s Greatest Sweatshirt
The 18 Best New Menswear Items to Buy This Week
29 Excellent Gift Ideas to Spoil All the Deserving Guys Out There
The Legend of the World’s Greatest Sweatshirt
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My most vivid memories of summer camp all feature me being a teenage shithead. Take soccer camp, for instance. We were at soccer camp in Faribault, MN. I don’t remember playing any soccer whatsoever at that camp, but I very much DO remember the camp was at a boarding school, and that we got to stay in the dorms all week, and that the dorm had a pay phone that was the only phone in the whole joint. So, at night, we snuck down to the phone and started dialing random 1-800 numbers, hoping to either get a live operator or a live girl at the other end of the line. And whenever a real person answered the phone, we would scream I’M A MOTHERFUCKER WITH A BUFFALO BUTT, hang up the phone, and then run away. I’m not quite sure why we ran from, you know, a phone call. Then again, I’m not sure why we did anything.
My oldest kid hasn’t gone to sleepaway camp yet for various reasons, and I have implored my wife to send her for at least one summer because (A) I want these kids out of the house, and (B) as one of my friends said about his kid at camp, “I know they’ll come back a different person than when they left.” Summer camp is an indelible experience for so many kids because it represents the first time they’re really, truly out on their own. You get to shed your overbearing parents and liberate the dipshit teen within. It is 3-10 weeks of pure peer pressure, made from concentrate. And it’s a valuable rite of passage, even when you’re screaming obscenities into a payphone like a complete moron.
These readers know what I’m talking about. Gather round the campfire now as they regale you with their strangest, horniest tales of unbridled youth in summertime…
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