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The first thing I noticed about her was her skin. It was alabaster, smooth like butter and translucent. Her hair, a lustrous brown, sat full-bodied above her collar bone, flirting with her shoulders every time she’d throw her hair back and laugh, which was often.
Sitting in meetings with her at the prominent literary agency where we both worked left me feeling weak. Usually never short of things to say, in her presence, I’d marvel at her ability to drain all quips from my mind, leaving my mouth bone-dry. But I knew the cliché and I refused to succumb to the stereotype of being the young, ambitious 25-year-old who screws the boss.
I’d come out when I was 17 and been disowned by my parents. I’d moved to London and been in and out relationships and casual flings. She was 40 and had been married for 10 years, with three children under the age of 10. The agency we worked for also represented her husband, an esteemed writer, so I knew I absolutely couldn’t go there.
Except one night, I did. I’d been at the company for around two years, working hard to secure advancements for myself all the while struggling to relax around her. But she gave nothing away. No odd winks or lingering favouritism, just an aloof air of power.
Our team were out celebrating a victory signing, when I first felt her eyes on me from across the table. I instantly assumed I must be getting the wrong end of the stick. But several glasses of wine later, my mouth was on hers and she was pushing me against the bathroom wall, as we clumsily tumbled in a stall, fumbling with our belt buckles. How could she go from practically never acknowledging my existence to pouncing on me? I felt vindicated in my feelings for her; there must have been something there all along, she had just been very good at suppressing it. After several swift orgasms in the cubicle, we returned to the table and our unsuspecting cohort of colleagues.
Our relationship gained a momentum of its own and before either of us realised, we were sleeping together every day. Sometimes first thing in the morning before anybody else arrived at the office, sometimes during a quick trip to the loo before nipping to Pret, sometimes once the last person had left for the day and it was just the two of us.
All I wanted was to be with her full-time, and for it to be out in the open that we were together
When we were together it felt electric, my heartbeat thumping furiously. But she was also the manager, the lawyer and the HR at our tiny agency, which was still in its infancy, so everything had to be secret. Six months after our toilet cubicle frisson, we were post-coital and slumped on the office floor after having sex on her desk. While I tucked into slices of Franco Manca pizza she’d ordered on the company account, she held back, glancing at the floor, before blurting out that she loved me. She’d never felt this way before and had finally realised she was gay.
In the office, nothing changed. Both of us swore not to tell anyone else. I dodged questions from friends about my relationship status like bullets - the lies were worth it for the delirium I felt when I was with her.
My boss confided in me the ennui she felt in her marriage. The sexuality she’d neatly packed into a box. She’d been with a woman before; when she masturbated, it was to lesbian porn, and when her husband performed acts on her, she told me the only way she could get aroused was to imagine it was a woman doing those things to her.
When she suggested, out of the blue and six months into our affair, that she was ready to tell our company directors about our relationship, I was secretly thrilled. This meant it was real! She had an inkling our directors already knew and had been mulling it over for a few weeks, she told me. She wanted to be honest with our directors so they could help us to map out how to tell her husband without severing his ties to the business. They took it well, even admitting that we’d had chemistry from the offset. We were finally free to love each other.
Her husband reacted surprisingly well too, suggesting that they enrol in therapy to help both of them exit their long-standing relationship. I took this as my cue to make a commitment and said I would move to the suburbs to be with her and her three children, once her husband had moved out.
To know that I could finally come clean to my worrisome friends felt liberating beyond belief. I didn’t care about sacrificing my youth to move to outer London with a swarm of forty-somethings. All I wanted was to be with her full-time, and for it to be out in the open that we were together.
Except, two weeks after she’d told her husband, I learned that that he hadn’t moved out and neither had she. She texted me to say that she could no longer carry on seeing me. She told me over WhatsApp that it was too overwhelming for her to tell people, to be honest about who she was, and ultimately who I still am. She felt too bludgeoned by people’s expectations of her, too stifled by her shame, and told me that I should live out my youth while it’s still mine. Before I could reply, she’d blocked me.
The lies were worth it for the delirium I felt when I was with her
The next day, she also blocked me on iMessage, Instagram and Twitter, claiming it was best for both of us. Work was strange for a while, as we shuffled past each other, barely acknowledging the other’s existence, let alone what we’d shared. Our company directors feigned ignorance and, obviously, none of our fellow colleagues had known anything at all, meaning I felt increasingly isolated.
On my first day back to the office, I hardly looked up from my desk, intentionally turning my back on the floor-to-ceiling glass windows that surrounded her office and slipped out of the door as soon as the clock struck 6pm. In an attempt to distract myself from work, I began sleeping with an army of women, feeling numbed by a dizzying level of promiscuity in the wake of our split.
This was six months ago. I heard recently that she and her husband were in therapy, working to reconcile and renew their vows and, surprisingly, felt nothing. Then I met somebody new and, as though she had a censor attached to me, my boss unblocked me and texted to ask how I am. I didn’t reply, I don’t need to go back to the secrets and lies, however thrilling they were.
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If you think celesbian gossip these days is crazy, you should’ve been alive like 100 years ago because DAMN these ladies were BUSY. Well, I mean, we’re pretty sure they were busy — it’s hard to know for certain in most of these cases, ’cause even if one woman claimed it happened, it’s likely the other swore it didn’t. But that hasn’t stopped historians from writing books like The Sewing Circle: Female Stars Who Loved Other Women , The Girls: Sappho Goes to Hollywood , Hollywood Lesbians , Full Service: My Adventures in Hollywood and the Secret Sex Lives of the Stars . Using those books and the internet, I made you this chart, and compiled the list beneath it. This chart is focused on actresses of the early 20th century — everybody on this chart is connected, somehow, to a member of “ The Sewing Circle .”
Again, a lot of this information could be false, but it is also possibly true! As hard as it was to find information about the actresses on this list, however, information about the sexual relationships between Black stars was even harder to nail down. I’m working on that, though, for a follow-up post that’ll center on the big names of the Harlem Renaissance.
Without any further ado, here are the ten most prominent ladykillers of early Hollywood and Broadway!
Alleged relationships & lovers: Joan Crawford, Ona Munson, Alla Nazimova, Billie Burke, Marion Morgan
The only female director in Hollywood at the time, Arzner defied expectations on multiple levels. She directed over 20 films in 24 years, taught Francis Ford Coppola and was the first female member of the Director’s Guild Association. She also spent many years with her partner Marion Morgan, after rumored relations with many other actresses IN THE BIZ.
Alleged relationships & lovers: Joan Crawford, Marlene Dietrich, Helen Ferguson, Tallulah Bankhead
Barbara Stanwyck pinged hard for her lesbian fans, even in movies where she had to pretend to be in love with a dude. A gay actor named Clifton Webb, who played her husband in Titanic, called Stanwyck “my favorite American lesbian.” “Stanwyck’s screen characters defined themselves on their own terms,” writes Axel Madsen in The Sewing Circle: Female Stars Who Loved Other Women . “Stanwyck was emotionally honest, and the way she related to men was different.” She was deeply closeted, burying her secret underneath her well-defined and daunting career ambitions and a really shitty but relatively brief marriage to a gay vaudeville star that inspired the film A Star is Born. She ultimately spent thirty years with her publicist Helen Ferguson.
Alleged romances/affairs: Alice Delamar, Barbara Stanwyck, Martha Raye, Dorothy Arzner, Claudette Colbert
Crawford, who’d started her career as a stage dancer, was stoked to be cast in a film with Greta Garbo, even though they didn’t have any scenes together. When they met, Garbo took Crawford’s face in her hands and said, “What a pity; our first picture together and we don’t work with each other. I’m sorry. You have a marvelous face.” Crawford said of this encounter, “if there was ever a time in my life when I might have been a lesbian, that was it.” BUT WAS IT REALLY, JOAN? Her lovers — and she had many, male and female — called her “Billie.” MGM paid $100 grand in 1935 to suppress the release of a pornographic lesbian film Crawford had appeared in at the age of 19. Unlike a lot of the other women on this list though there isn’t a lot of concrete solid evidence about her affairs.
Alleged relationships & lovers: Josephine Hutchinson, Tallulah Bankhead, Alla Nazimona, Laurette Taylor, Beatrice Lillie, Mercedes De Acosta, Alice Delamar
Although Eva didn’t actively attempt to hide her sexuality, she wasn’t exactly proud of it either. At the height of her fame, she began a relationship with Alla Nazimova. After their breakup she began dating Mercedes de Acosta, with whom she traveled to Europe, often showing up in the salon of famed openly lesbian socialite Natalie Barney. Her relationship with actress Josephine Hutchinson, who was married at the time, ended up being a huge scandal in the press, inspiring Eva to tell a friend, “If you have any thoughts about being a lesbian, don’t do it. Your life will be nothing but tragedy.” She then became involved with director Margaret Webster, with whom she co-founded the American Repertory Theater.
Alleged relationships & lovers: Marlene Dietrich, Mercedes de Acosta, Salka Viertel, Louise Brooks, Billie Holiday, Lilyan Tashman, Tallulah Bankhead
Garbo dated men but unlike other Sewing Circle members, never married one. Rather than lie to the press about her private life, she established a reputation as mysterious and aloof. Like Kristen Stewart! At the age of 19, while working on an obscure German film — before moving to America and becoming a star — she was seduced by 23-year-old Marlene Dietrich, described by Hollywood historian Diana McLellan as a “bohemian young mama with a notorious and compulsive appetite for the sexual seduction of other beautiful women, particularly backstage.” Garbo, on the other hand, was “simple” and “sensitive,” and ended up so hurt by Dietrich that she denied knowing her for the rest of her life. You know how it is. Then Garbo moved to Hollywood, where she continued an intimate relationship with actress-writer Salka Viertel and was introduced by Viertel to Mercedes de Acosta.
Alleged relationships/lovers: Elissa Landi, Irene Mayer Selznick, Phyllis Wilbourn, Laura Harding (heiress to the American Express fortune), Jane Loring (film editor), Judy Hollywood, Billie Burke
As a kid, Katharine shaved her head and went by “Jimmy,” and as a grown-up super-famous actress, was known for her boyish attire and bohemian attitude. Her agent’s third wife referred to Hepburn as “that dykey bitch.” Her first relationship was allegedly with her college friend Laura Harding.
Alleged relationships/lovers: Jean Acker, Natacha Rambova, Eva Le Gallienne, Mercedes De Acosta, Dolly Wilde, Bridget Bate Tichenor, Glesca Marshall, Grace Darmond, Dorothy Arzne
Stage actress Alla Nazimova cointed the term “The Sewing Circle,” referring to her group of lesbian, bisexual, or bi-curious Hollywood ladies. She held “outlandish parties” at her Sunset Boulevard estate, the legendary queer hangout known as The Garden of Allah, which was converted into a hotel in 1926. Alla was unusually open about her relationships with women and was instrumental in launching the careers of Sewing Circle members Jean Acker and Natacha Rambova. Alla lived with her partner Glesca Marshall from 1929 until her death in 1945.
Alleged lovers/relationships: Edith Piaf, Greta Garbo, Mercedes de Acosta, Claire Waldoff, Tallulah Bankead, Claudette Colbert, Barbara Stanwyck
Marlene Dietrich was a glamorous Hollywood extrovert of whom film critic Kenneth Tynan wrote, “She has sex but no positive gender. Her masculinity appeals to women and her sexuality to men.” Dietrich was a big fan of gay Berlin in the 1920s, and after moving to the states and becoming one of Hollywood’s biggest female stars, had a lot of affairs w
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