Lesbian Using Strapon

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Lesbian Using Strapon
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Featured in Women Loving Women (2018)
The title is slightly misleading, as "Bosses" refers merely to dominating women rather than employers or supervisors, but Dana Vespoli presents her usual mix of solid acting and quality humping in this all-girl Sweetheart Video release. She takes a drolly humorous role as a director of a commercial advertising dildos, in a quality opening segment starring Megan Rain as a prima donna of a model, and Brett Rossi as her makeup lady. Mistreated by the haughty "star" Megan, Rossi finally gets fed up and violently has sex with the girl, which Rain immediately enjoys and participates in wholeheartedly. Scene is shot at the familiar porn location, the metallic decor house with the front doors shaped like the Dolby Labs logo (backwards). Redhead Karlie Montana has fun using her strap-on on Sasha Heart, after name-dropping George Clooney, and another hot redhead (from Spain) Amarna Miller is quite comfortable improvising English dialog in a strong scene with dom Sovereign Syre giving her a hard time. Amarna's vignette is harmed by the makeup department doing a lousy job of masking her body's blemishes. Final scene also caters to fans of redheads, as Elle Alexandra portrays a strong-willed snowboarder who takes out her resentment on teammate Dillion Harper.
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The Beginner's Guide to Using a Strap-On
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One of the great things about strap-ons is that anyone can use them. If you have a penis, you can use a strap-on. If you don’t have a penis, you can use a strap-on. You can use a strap-on to penetrate a partner of any gender, to subvert stereotypical gender roles or to play with those roles. You can use one for fun, or you can use one to manage erectile or orgasmic challenges. You can use a strap-on for vaginal sex, anal sex , oral sex, manual sex, or masturbation.
If you’re interested in trying it out, here’s your beginner’s guide.
You’ve explored anal play for the first time, you’ve played with a few toys, and now you’re ready…
Strap-ons are obviously meant to mimic the look and experience of having a penis. The basic strap-on setup is comprised of a harness and a dildo. The dildo has a flared base; the harness typically has an O-ring that the dildo gets threaded through. The combination of the flared base and the O-ring hold the dildo in place against the wearer’s pelvis.
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Harnesses typically come in one of three styles:
Dildos come in every size, shape, material, and color you can possibly imagine. You can get ones that look very realistic, or you can get ones that are more playful.
Here’s the bad news about strap-ons: getting a proper harness and dildo combination is an investment, both of your time and your money. It can take a while to figure out what you like, and sometimes you won’t learn until after you’ve made a purchase and tried it out. You also really get what you pay for when it comes to harnesses and dildos, so I don’t recommend skimping (especially if you think strap-on play will be a big part of your sex life). It takes some time and patience, but the payoff can make it all worth it.
If you’ve ever been in the market for a sex toy, you’ve probably looked into buying it through…
If you have a nice sex shop in your area, I highly, highly recommend shopping in person. A knowledgeable sales person can walk you through the entire process. Many stores even have strap-on workshops. Being able to look at and touch your harness and dildo makes a huge difference in the buying process. If you have to shop online, read as many reviews as you can. Reviews can provide surprisingly detailed and informative information about your options.
What better way to combat the stresses of the holiday season than with a kickstart to your sex…
Wearing a harness and dildo feels weird at first. It’s a whole extra appendage that you may have never had before. It takes some time to bond with your new body part.
I recommend wearing your harness and dildo alone for a while. Wear them around the house as you do non-sexual activities. Wash the dishes with your dildo on. Watch TV with your dildo on. Give yourself some time to get used to it, and get a sense of how the strap-on works with your body. The more comfortable you are with it on your own, the easier it will be to use it with a partner.
I also highly suggest masturbating with the strap-on on. It can be really hot to masturbate your dildo, or play with it while touching other parts of your body, and it definitely helps in developing a connection to it.
Ladies, do you want to increase your chances of orgasming? Do you want to strengthen the intensity…
Once you’ve gotten comfortable with your gear, you may feel ready to start using it with your partner. Here, again, I recommend going slow. Let your partner see you in your new purchases. Wear your harness and dildo as you and your partner make out.
It can also be incredibly hot to have your partner jack off your dildo or give it a blow job, if you’re both comfortable with those activities.
If you want to use your strap-on for penetration, the most important piece of advice I can give you is to use a ridiculous amount of lube. Make sure your partner knows to tell you anytime they need you to stop and apply more lube. Remember: never use like with like when it comes to lube. If your dildo is silicone-based, you won’t be able to use silicone lube with it. Use water-based instead.

So you know the safe and discreet ways to shop for sex toys, but once you have them, caring for…
You may not ever have had to use thrusting motions during intercourse before. If that’s the case for you, thrusting is going to feel supremely weird at first! You just don’t have the muscles that thrusting develops. A lot of people go comically overboard trying to figure out how to thrust, but I recommend trying to keep your movements more subtle until you get the hang of it. If you have a male partner, ask him for a thrusting lesson. Doggy-style is a great beginner’s position—it tends to be easiest for thrusting newbies, as it doesn’t require the same level of hip strength. Or you may want to try missionary, where you can focus more on grinding against your partner.
If you’re penetrating a female-bodied person, you may get to play the surprisingly difficult game, “Where’s the Hole?” Before you start feeling like a lost teenager desperately trying to lose their virginity, use your fingers to find the vagina, then guide the dildo there.
Communication is always key when it comes to sex, and strap-on sex is no different. Ask your partner to give you a lot of feedback about what feels good to them. Go nice and slow until you both get the hang of it.
It’s easy to gripe about condoms, how they’re inconvenient or they dull sensitivity, but the…
Sometimes strap-on sex can be an emotional experience, for both partners. It may feel really vulnerable to wear a strap-on for the first time. It may feel really vulnerable to have intercourse with a strap-on for the first time. If anything does come up for you, let it come up. Keep checking in with each other throughout, and talk about it afterwards.
On a more logistical level, make sure to clean your gear as soon as possible. Follow the manufacturer instructions for the best method. Keep in mind that if you’re having sex with multiple partners, you’ll need to use a condom with your dildo to prevent STI transmission.

11 Sex Tips for Anyone Who Wants to Explore Strap-On Play
Anna Borges is a writer and a former senior health editor at SELF. She's the author of the book The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care and can be found writing around the internet about mental, emotional, and sexual health. (Most importantly, she's also a Virgo sun, Aquarius moon,... Read more
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If you’re curious about strap-on sex, you might be nervous too—not because you think it’d be bad, but because you don’t know how to use a strap-on. I don’t blame you. Having sex with toys often isn’t as intuitive as using your own body, and a free-flying appendage where you’re not used to having one can feel especially unwieldy. The first time I used a strap-on with a partner, I was so self-conscious about my awkward technique that I didn’t try again for like a year.
Luckily, a learning curve is completely normal when it comes to using a strap-on. With practice, communication, and the right equipment, you can soon be thrusting and grinding like a pro. To help you feel more confident trying strap-on sex and upping your strap game, I asked sex toy experts and strap-on enthusiasts alike how to use a strap-on. Here are a few to keep in mind when you don your harness:
There are a few boxes you want to check before you dive into strap-on sex. First things first, you want to make sure you have the right equipment. Which strap-on you use can make or break your experience, both from a comfort standpoint and from how easy it is to use. This guide outlines some of the things to look for when buying a strap-on and includes product recommendations.
Also, if you’re using a strap-on to experiment with anal play for the first time, there are ways you should prepare, which you can read about here . And no matter how you plan to use your strap-on, lube is always a good idea (just make sure it’s compatible with your dildo of choice—silicone lube degrades silicone toys, and oil-based lube can damage latex condoms, so water-based lube is likely a safe bet). Beyond that, there are a few important things to know about safety and partner communication before using a strap-on together, and you can find those pre-sex tips here .
It really helps if the first time you wear your strap-on isn’t during sex. You should give yourself time to get familiar with what it’s like to wear a harness. “It’s going to feel weird at first,” Ashley Cobb , founder and host of Sex With Ashley and sex toy reviewer, tells SELF. “Wear your harness around the house as you do non-sexual activities, such as washing dishes or watching TV. The more comfortable you are with it on your own, the easier it will be to use it with a partner.”
Yep, as in porn . “Especially amateur videos,” Maggie L., 31, suggests to SELF. If you’ve never used a strap-on before (or even if you have), it’s incredibly useful to see them in action. You might pick up on little techniques, see ways people get creative, and generally demystify the whole ordeal. Which is why amateur porn is the way to go—real sexual partners are far more likely to have actionable takeaways than professional performers who may have techniques that look good but aren’t actually enjoyable.
Sure, one draw of using a strap-on can be that it allows for intimate, hands-free activity, but that doesn’t mean the toy will always do what you want it to. “A strap can be less easy for the top to control than a flesh cock, so if something isn’t working, don’t be afraid use your hands to adjust the toy so it’s hitting properly,” Lisa Finn, a sex educator and brand manager for Babeland, tells SELF.
Your first few tries using a strap-on aren’t going to be the time to get super wild when it comes to sex positions . Stick with basic positions that feel comfortable and leave you room to adjust the strap-on with your hands if necessary, like on all fours, missionary, or standing beside the bed while your partner lies on its edge. “Your partner can always ride you if you’re having trouble maneuvering your strap,” Lily A., 22, tells SELF. “Finding what feels good and feels natural always takes some experimenting.”
For anal in particular, Cobb recommends having the receiver start on all fours too. “This is one of the most common pegging positions,” she says. “On the bed, couch, or wherever, you get on your hands and knees and have your partner enter you from behind.” She also shouts out lying on your stomach as a similarly newbie-friendly pegging position.
This is easier said than done, I know, but you’re not the only one getting distracted by what you look like wearing a strap-on harness. For one, sometimes the positions and moves that feel good aren’t exactly picturesque (as with any sex act), so you should be cool with looking “unsexy.” And if looks inspired you to buy a specific kind of harness that turned out not to be the most effective, you might find prioritizing function over aesthetic might make you feel more confident in the long-run anyway.
“I wish I spent way less time worrying about what the harness was going to look like,” Suz W., 24, tells SELF. “Stop trying to find a sexy harness! It’s a harness! It’s inevitably going to look a little bit like you’re going rock climbing. The harness is sexy when my partner wears it because my partner is sexy.”
This is obviously something you should be doing anyway ( communication! ), but it can be particularly helpful when using a new toy. Especially a toy you might not have total control over.
“One thing I learned very early on is that I’m terrible at judging how deep I’m going when I’m using a strap-on,” Spencer W., 25, tells SELF. “My poor partner put up with a lot of low-key stabbing. But it’s not like a hand, where you can kind of feel where you’re at. Go slow and check in along the way.”
Same goes for the receiver, by the way. “If something feels uncomfortable, say something,” says Finn.
Hey, we’re not going to judge you if you want to finesse your strap skills with a little training (just like we definitely won’t judge if it takes a while to find your rhythm). “I’m not embarrassed to admit that I humped some pillows early in my strap-on days,” says Lily. “It helped me get in the zone and figure out the different ways I can roll my hips. Also it was basically masturbating , so win-win.”
Speaking of, don’t forget grinding. “Speaking as a bi woman, I can say people of all genders forget that penetration doesn’t just have to be going in and out and pounding away,” says Spencer. “Roll your hips and grind that strap.”
Penetration is a large draw of strap-ons, if not often the main one, but there are other erotic ways to use them. “I love getting ‘blow jobs’ from my husband,” Melissa R., 28, tells SELF. “It felt silly at first but it turned out to be really hot. Once I started thinking about my strap-on as ‘my cock,’ we got more and more ideas of how to play with it.”
Just make sure you follow best hygiene practices when you experiment. Most importantly: If you’re going to switch holes—such as from anus to mouth—wash the dildo, change condoms, or swap out the dildo entirely.
There’s a whole world of harnesses out there that allow you to strap a dildo to, well, most parts of your body. Thigh harnesses, chin harnesses, knee harnesses, hand harnesses, and more can all be unexpectedly enjoyable additions to your sex toy collection .
“My partner and I got really into a thigh harness and use it almost as much as our regular one,” says Lily. “When I wear it, my partner gets the penetration she wants and I can grind on her leg. We get a lot closer with it than our other harness. Then a hand strap is great for fucking her with a dildo without my hand getting sore from gripping the base.”
Lily suggests the Bondage Boutique Leg Strap-On Harness ($25, lovehoney.com ). Unfortunately, her favorite hand harness (the La Palma by SpareParts) is super sold out, but you might want to try this simple leather Knucklefucker Hand Harness ($44, etsy.com ) instead. Total sidebar: Etsy is an awesome place for gorgeous indie harnesses in general.
This is another golden rule of sex that is especially helpful to keep in mind when experimenting with strap-ons. You have to be able to embrace the inherent comedy of the situation and roll with it. “It always feels a little silly and awkward trying something for the first time, but that goes away quickly and the benefits are so worth it,” says Suz.
Similarly, it’s okay if you find out that strap-ons aren’t working for you—either during that specific session or at all. “Remember that it’s just a fun addition, and if it doesn’t go as planned, you still have hands and mouths,” says Maggie.
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Here's why pegging has a special name, how to do it safely, and all the best toy recommendations to try it out.
Sophie Saint Thomas is a New York-based writer originally from the Caribbean. She is Allure ’s resident astrologer and the author of Finding Your Higher Self: Your Guide to Cannabis for Self-Care (Adams Media), a guide to self-care and marijuana, and [*Sex Witch: Magickal Spells for Love, Lust, and... Read more
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Can pegging make your partner a better lover? Some people, including experts in the sex and relationships field, certainly think so.
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Of course, the decision to try pegging with a strap on is completely up to the individuals involved, and many folks are wonderful sexual partners regardless of whether they're interested in this form of sexual exploration. But what is pegging, why is it so hot for some of us, and what supplies and knowledge are needed to try it safely? Allure spoke with Powell and a professional dominatrix to learn all you need to know.
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