Lesbian Top Or Bottom Meaning

Lesbian Top Or Bottom Meaning

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If you've scrolled through Grindr, Tinder, or even queer sections of TikTok recently, you'll have seen "top," "bottom," or "verse" in a bio or two.
The popular terms describe sexual preferences in the queer community.
While the terms were originally used to describe the sexual preferences of queer men in the 1970s, more LGBTQ+ people have adopted the terms to talk about what they like in sex.
Top/bottom/verse discourse has grown more visible lately on TikTok, where queer people have been making videos describing the unique struggles of each preference.
It's important to note that each of these categories means something a little different to each person, so no one definition is perfect. Here is a general idea of what it means to be a top, bottom, or verse.
Tops generally prefer to take a more active role in sex by acting as the person who penetrates, gives oral sex, or does other sexual acts. For people with penises, this can mean wanting to be the person penetrating rather than receiving. For people with vaginas , it can mean preferring to give oral sex rather than receive, according to queer publication Autostraddle.
Because queer sex can look many different ways, being a top doesn't necessarily refer to the specifics of how sex is had. Instead, it refers to a power dynamic in which one person is in control and the other person takes the lead.
Within the category of "top," there are subsections that may refer to the specifics of how people like to have sex.
A "stone top" refers to someone who only likes to "give" during sex and not receive. This can mean penetration, oral sex, or other acts and comes from the term "stone butch" which was a common masculine gender expression in lesbian spaces in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s, and is still used today by some people within the community.
"Touch me nots" fall within "stone tops" as they refer to queer people, often transmasculine people or lesbians, who do not like to be touched during sex under any circumstances and instead only like to give.
Bottoms typically like to receive during sex, whether that means oral sex, being penetrated during sex, or other sexual acts. However, like with tops, the specifics of the sex aren't as important as the power dynamic.
Generally, bottoms are people who relinquish control during sex and follow the lead of the person topping them. But that doesn't mean bottoms can't be assertive and active during sex.
"Power bottoms" refer to bottoms who direct their tops exactly how to please them during sex and are very vocal when they are doing it wrong. "Bratty bottoms" are similarly vocal and generally tease the person topping them in a demeaning and playful way.
While some bottoms may be open to topping every so often, there are categories of bottoms who never like to be the person penetrating or giving oral sex. Like stone tops, "stone bottoms" are firm about their boundaries on touching their partners and not like to be the person penetrating or giving oral sex.
Sometimes referred to as "pillow princesses," stone bottoms face the brunt of the jokes in TikTok videos like this one directed at people for specific sexual preferences within the queer community.
People often insinuate stone bottoms are "less gay" or "pretending to be gay" in TikTok videos if they are firm about not wanting to perform sexual acts like oral and penetration on their partners. This kind of harassment in TikTok videos like these is called "bottom shaming."
Verses or switches are what they sound like – people who like to top and bottom interchangeably during sex.
Verse folks are generally less concerned with labeling themselves and their sexual dynamic and more focused on keeping their sexual interactions fluid, though some verses do lean towards the top or bottom side of the spectrum.
According to a 2018 survey by Autostraddle, switches make up over 50% of queer people who answered their call out.
It's crucial to note that while these labels exist, all sexual dynamics between people look different. No two bottoms, switches, or tops are going to look the same and have the same sexual dynamic with their partner.
But all forms of attraction and sexual position preference are equally valid.

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Is it just me, or does the conversation of “tops vs bottoms” always come up when talking about gay or lesbian sex?
For clarification, a top is one who gives penetration or stimulation (dominant) and the bottom is one who receives (submissive).
I always thought it was just a gay male thing, but I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked whether I’m a top or a bottom.
I’ve been asked this question by straight allies, too, although they word it more eloquently by saying, “so are you the boy, or the girl?”
While the question would be a rude one for most, I have a reputation of being an open book at times, so being asked the question never phases me. It usually makes me laugh.
My witty response most often leaves them dumbfounded. “It depends on my mood,” I’ll say. Or, “you think that’s really a thing?”
As a bisexual, very feminine woman, my sexuality has always been fluid. I give, I receive, I take, and I’ve even been known to share. Sometimes I’m the pursuer and sometimes the pursuee. So, I’ve never known how to accurately answer that question.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized how much I enjoy being a bottom, mostly because my partner is a stereotypical top.
After being asked this question for the umpteenth time the other day, I thought, “what happens when both parties are tops or both are bottoms? How does that work? Can it work?”
Like any good researcher, I asked Siri to provide some clarification. Siri led me to Wikipedia, which not only defined top vs bottom, but also the term versatile, meaning someone “who engages in both activities or is open to engaging in either activity.”
“That’s me!” I thought. “But that still doesn’t answer my question.”
It turns out that the term versatile is often paired with the term top or bottom to define someone who is open to being flexible in their role, which often occurs when two parties normally hold similar roles and need to bend a little (pun intended).
“That would make me a versatile bottom,” I reasoned.
After asking a few friends, my findings seemed valid. Some lesbians (and bisexuals) I spoke with said that they couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who held the same role, as it made things too awkward in the bedroom. But several others had no problem “flexing” when needed.
“I usually like to give and I’m not a big fan of receiving. I definitely don’t like to be penetrated with a strap-on,” said one friend who preferred to remain anonymous. “However, I am open to receiving in other ways – orally, with finger penetration, etc. It works for us.”
“The key is open communication from the start,” she continued. “We were very clear from the beginning about our boundaries. We jumped a few hurdles in the beginning, but now we have a very fulfilling sex life. And when we want to try something new, we talk about it and decide who will take on each role so we are both comfortable.”
She also advised that parties in the relationship open their minds to new experiences. What was avoided in past relationships might be enjoyed in a relationship with better communication, openness, and an eagerness to please a partner.
I couldn’t agree more and I’m glad I was able to get to the bottom of things for all of you!

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This Top or Bottom quiz will help you find your position in your relationships or in society. Just answer 20 personality-related questions to find out.
These traits represent the dominative and submissive roles of people during intercourses. While the terminology is often used to describe the roles in LGBT relationships, the terms extend the old domain. They can be implied to different sexual inclinations. The top person may often be described as the giver or the one in control; on the other hand, a bottom person tends to relinquish control and the receiver of the acts. If a boy or a girl is willing to transpose between these roles, they are called switch or verse.
This quiz determines which group you belong to. It can also be regarded as the Am I a switch quiz. It is often misconceived in homosexual relationships that the butcher person is always the top and the more feminine person is the bottom, which is not valid.
Take the “Are you top or bottom quiz” to learn more. The critical point here is that although these terms rise from a romantic context, these individual traits also affect other aspects of a person’s life. For example, are people with a top personality more likely to fit in administrative positions? Or is the authoritative behavior bound to the bed? Take a few minutes to read about the tops, bottoms, and verses before taking the Are you a top or bottom test.
According to scientific researches from the springer journal article and an article from the HuffPost website, people tend to misjudge top and bottom roles by taking traditional hetero relationship factors into account. That is to consider that the more masculine and butchy person is the assertive partner. However, these roles are more related to what each person has learned in a relationship, the feeling a person gets by their body parts, and the self-image in his/her mind.
Pay attention that some people are sensitive to these terms, and asking others about their orientation might be offensive. Especially if the one you think of a top is a bottom, and he/she might feel ashamed. As a result, being top, bottom, or verse is intrinsic and related to attitude rather than appearances.
A top person is the one who gives during intercourse, seeks power and dominance, and wants to take control. The top male or female tend to lead others rather than following others. These people often challenge the existing conditions and think creatively.
This character is a receiver in the relationship. However, this does not mean they are the pillow queen and tend to be inactive. Believing such a myth is fundamentally wrong, for the bottom can be both physically active and dominative. In fact, he/she might be the one giving the top the instructions. So we can Identify these people as those who are seeking pleasure, freedom, and sensuality.
The switch individual enjoys both positions in a relationship. These people are versatile; hence the term ‘verse’ is also used to address them. Being the top or the bottom is not something predetermined. It can change during the course of a relationship or one’s life. Therefore, the best way to process the results of “Am I a switch quiz” is to consider it a temporary state. The Switch doesn’t care that much about being the superior or the submissive. He seeks pleasure and experience.
What does a switch look like? There is no way to answer this question by merely looking at a person. The only way to identify a verse is that they tell you, or they act it out. As these as personal questions, do not ask people these types of questions straight, as it might be offensive or make them cringe. Instead, you can ask them to take the Am I top, bottom, or switch test. If they are interested, they will probably share their results.
There is a wide range of roles and attributes involved when talking about relationships. The bottom line is that each person has a unique set of characteristics, which makes us humans amazing. Therefore, there are combinations of the top, bottom, and verse (switch) traits with other traits such as being dominative, submissive, etc. Another type of behavior is the side. The side does not enjoy the main action during intercourse. Still, he prefers to be more subtle and enjoys less tense interactions.
Being the top, bottom, switch, or side is just a reference to know what role people enjoy more in a relationship. Moreover, it helps people find an appropriate partner. For example, if two bottom people were to become involved in a relationship, they would probably miss some action. Aside from which type you are, it is important not to judge others or ask them directly about their personality or preferences. Some people might link all roles to their physical and behavioral traits by mistake.
The truth is that these roles are learned in the course of one’s life, and they are not permanent. The top-bottom switch quiz reflects your inclinations while respecting all traits and the LGBTQ+ community. Enjoy the person you are and find the partner you enjoy.
This quiz consists of 20 questions that help you understand your role in a relationship. Take the “Am I top, bottom, or switch quiz” and share it with your friends.
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Legend would have you believe that once you’ve earned your gay card, a Harry Potter –like ceremony occurs where, instead of the Sorting Hat, a giant magical butt plug divides all gay men into two houses: tops or bottoms.
This is clearly not the case, especially for those people who consider themselves versatile ( HIYA ). But often, penetrative sex can feel divided into rigid binaries that make being a top or a bottom seem like a cult you’ve signed up to for life, and one that you have to declare as soon as two (or more) consenting men decide to take their clothes off and rub up against each other. These two subdivisions have their own rules, stereotypes, and in-jokes, and can sometimes seem as if they’re at war with each other, rather than both working together for mutual sexual pleasure.
All of this can make trying different things daunting, especially if you’re a baby gay venturing into this world for the first time. But it ought not to be impossible to sexually switch things up. Sure, people have a preference, but now could be the perfect time to escape the top or bottom prison you live in. So, with the help of some experts, let’s take a moment to dismantle what you think you know about topping and bottoming. It could open up a world of possibilities.
Human beings are very good at trying something once and deciding indefinitely that we don’t like it. In the case of anal sex, this is usually because of an experience from when we were young and hadn’t quite realized the importance of lube ( USE LOTS OF LUBE ). So how do you go about testing new waters?
“I believe in what I call taking your erotic temperature,” explains Woody Miller, the author of the books How to Bottom Like a Porn Star and How to Top Like a Stud , “which is basically having a conversation with yourself about what it is you like.”
Miller argues that gay men should examine their relationship with power. Where do you align when it comes to being dominant or submissive? One way to question this, he posits, is to app
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