Lesbian Sex Technique
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Lesbian Sex Technique
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Everything You Need To Know About Your Clitoris
Madeline Howard
Madeline Howard is a writer, editor, and creative based in Brooklyn.
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There’s a lot of misinformation out there when it comes to people with vulvas having sex. Thing is, sex between women is great and satisfying despite what mainstream teachings, which typically center men’s pleasure, would have you believe.
"Because of our hetero and penis-centric culture, many believe that vaginal or anal sex are imperative for sexual satisfaction," says Wendasha Jenkins-Hall , PhD, a sex educator who specializes in the wellbeing of women and femmes. "But the clitoris is key—its sole purpose and function is pleasure."
Well, great news: Lesbian sex makes the clit and other erogenous zones the priority.
"Those who engage in lesbian sex know that most people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm," says Jenkins-Hall. And it's so damn satisfying because it puts this external pleasure front and center.
But that’s not to say there isn’t something for everyone to learn here. Sure, lesbians tend to rely on these pleasure-inducing techniques most, but anyone with a vulva, bisexual women, pansexual women, queer women, and even cis-gendered straight identifying women are bound to climax by mixing these moves into their sexual routines, too. These positions ensure the woman or vulva-owning person gets all the attention they deserve during their sexual experience and can offer that same pleasure to their vulva-having partner.
Ahead, discover 18 lesbian sex positions that experts say will help you do just that, plus, the tips and tricks to take them up a notch.
"This is a tried and true position," says Jenkins-Hall. "The 69 position allows both partners to give and receive clitoral stimulation simultaneously." If you need more details, it goes a little something like this: One of you lies on top of the other in an opposite-facing direction. That way, both of your mouths land right in between each other's legs.
Pro tip: You can either switch up who's on top during your 69 sesh *or* both of you can stay on your sides for a lying 69 position, Jenkins-Hall explains. This might be a little more comfortable if you don't like feeling the weight of someone's body on yours (you do you!) or vice versa.
"This position is basically the cowgirl done on your partner’s face," says Jenkins-Hall. "It's great because it provides direct clitoral stimulation and you can focus on the pleasure you are receiving from your partner." If you're on top, you've also got the ability to control the speed, rhythm, and motion of your stimulation—always a plus.
"This position also works well with role-play, like naughty nurse or demanding dominatrix," Jenkins-Hall explains. Picture it: You're on top and in complete control, feeling like the powerful queen you are, or you're on the bottom and experiencing your partner get all kinds of pleasure from rubbing against your mouth and tongue. Both hot situations.
"Straight couples aren't the only ones who can enjoy doggy-style sex ," Jenkins-Hall says. "With a strap-on, two people with vaginas can also enjoy this position." The receiving partner can stimulate their clitoris with their fingers or a vibrator while being stroked from behind, she explains. And the partner with the strap-on can stimulate their own nipples with their hands or finger vibrator . Note: If you enjoy deep penetration, you'll probs love this one.
And if you don't enjoy penetration, forget it altogether and the position can still be a pleasurable one. You can grind and rub against each other without anything being inserted anywhere. As the person in the back, you can reach around and massage your partner's clit or nipples, or you can pull their hair as they grind on your pelvis.
No, not for more doggy style. You or your partner gets on all fours while the other person, also on all fours, gives oral from behind, says Jess O’Reilly , sexpert, author, podcaster, and Astroglide 's resident sexologist. This gives you a different kind of angle than you might be used to and offers easy access to the receiver's butt for massaging or anal penetration, if that's what you're into.
This time, "have your partner slide underneath you while lying on their back," O'Reilly explains. You can stay on all fours, but "stretch your arms out in front and bring your bottom up for improved access" to your vulva and clitoris. This way, your partner will be underneath you while you're on your hands and knees, giving them a different angle by which to access your clit than approaching you from behind.
"Sit upright in a chair or on the edge of a bed with your legs spread wide," says O'Reilly. "Have your partner crawl between your legs and put a pillow beneath their knees. Lift your leg(s) up and wrap them around your partner’s neck and shoulders to adjust the angle and use your hips to steer them" while they go down on you.
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For this one, lie down and put a pillow under your head to support your neck. Then, "have your partner straddle your head or chest, facing your feet," O'Reilly explains. Then, they'll bend over and you can go to town—as in, with your tongue. If you need a break, feel free to bring a bullet vibrator into the mix (a smaller toy is better in this case since your partner's vulva is already in close proximity) that you can easily sub in and manipulate to your partner's content.
Again, while certain positions like missionary have a heteronormative association, they're really for *everyone* to explore. Jenkins-Hall recommends using a strap on to ride your partner. On a budget? Just use your fingers instead.
"Double-sided dildos allow for simultaneous penetration," Jenkins-Hall explains. Get one of your own, rub lube onto both sides, and each of you can ease it in for a twist on traditional missionary that's double the fun. Gaze into each other's eyes, touch each other, and more while you ride the toy.
Cuddle up to each other. Whoever is the big spoon can reach around and touch the little spoon . If you're in front, you can rub your booty against your partner, reach around to tug on their hair, suck on their fingers, and more.
If you're into it, "this is a great position for penetration," says Gigi Engle, ACS, sex expert at Feeld and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life . Plus, it's not too involved. The big spoon can wear a strap on, and use it to pleasure the little spoon from behind. And if strap ons aren't your thing, Engle says a finger would also do the trick. While you're at it, since your faces are so close together, don't be shy about experimenting with a bit of dirty talk. Whisper everything you want to do you partner right into their ear.
Both of you get on your knees and lean into each other's thighs so that they're criss-crossed (almost like a pretzel!). Both of your clits and vulva should be up against each other's thighs so you can grind against them as fast or as slowly as you please all while kissing and licking each other, too. There's plenty of opportunity for breast play here, says Engle. And if you're into kink and BDSM, you can bring in a dom/sub dynamic with choking or hair pulling.
For a modification, particularly if one of you has back issues, Engle recommends switching up the angle of this position. Have the partner with the sensitive back lie flat on the bed, then their partner can hover above them on all fours with their thigh in between their partner's legs.
Scissoring's an oldie but goodie. Have your partner lie on their side and then you straddle their leg so that your clits are both aligned. "Play, explore, and don't worry too much about where your body ends up," McDaniel explains. Once you're set up, grind as much as you please!
Have your partner sit on a chair, or criss-cross on the floor or a bed, and then straddle their lap, so you're sitting on them and you're both facing each other. This position creates *lots* of intimacy (hello, kissing, hugging, touching!), all while giving you both access to each other's genitals.
That double-ended dildo you read about earlier? Engle says this is a great position for it. If only one of you is down for penetration however, she recommends a strap on with a pocket . This way, you can slip a palm vibrator inside the pouch and incorporate a bit of buzz with your penetration.
Stand straight up and lean against the wall while your partner kneels and performs oral on you. If they need a little extra comfort while they're down there, make sure they slide a pillow under their knees.
This is great position for role playing, says Engle, and maybe not in the way you think. The person on their knees doesn't necessarily have to be submissive. Experiment with bondage by tying up the standing partner, she suggests.
While you're both standing, have one person turn around and put their hands on the wall for balance. Then, have the other partner reach around to your front and stimulate your nipples and clit.
Once the receiving partner is turned on, you might consider introducing penetration, says Engle. It might be overwhelming to just go for it at the start, but if you're both game after a bit of external pleasure, the partner in the back might use a dildo or strap on on the partner who's leaning against the wall. If it turns out that's not the vibe, switch things up again, says Engle, and go back to breast play and maybe even consensual hair pulling as things heat up.
Since you're already standing, have the partner facing the wall turn around so that you're in front of each other. Raise your legs up one at a time to grind against each other and make out all you want.
Height difference? Engle has a way around it. Just move it to the bed, she says, so you can line up exactly the way you'd like. Plus, it'll be easier to grind up against each other if you're not also trying to keep your balance. When you're really feeling frisky, bring in a sex toy that you can wedge between your bodies like the hands-free Eva vibrator by Dame.
Slide a firm pillow underneath your lower back so that your pelvis is raised. This will give your partner a more comfortable angle when they go down on you. If you're feeling penetration, this is also an ideal angle for G-spot stimulation , says Engle. Get a curved vibrator or dildo that'll reach the G-spot. While your partner uses that on you, use your hand to stimulate your clitoris at the same time.
"Those who enjoy penetration can experiment with different types, shapes, and sizes when it comes to sex toys ," says Jenkins-Hall. Break out your stash of vibrators, and together, pick one to use for this steamy sesh. Have your partner move the vibrator in and out of your vagina at whatever speed and motion you desire. (Being on the receiving end of this one will feel real nice.)
Not into the penetration game? No worries. Nipples are a *major* erogenous zone for some people, explains Jenkins-Hall.
Thanks to the many nerve endings on and around your nipple, says Holly Richmond, PhD , a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist, a nipple orgasm is a total possibility, she previously told Women's Health .
The less you limit your definition of sex, the better. So, have your partner suck on and pull at your nipples during sex or while you touch yourself, Janet Brito , PhD, a sexologist and clinical psychologist in Honolulu previously recommended .
If you want to take things up a notch, you and your partner can invest in some nipples clamps . You can each wear your own set or just one of you wear them while your partner plays and teases you with their fingers or a toy.
And speaking of toys, vibrators are great for the nips, too. Engle recommends having your partner graze the vibrator all along your nips for some serious feels.
Since your vibrator is already handy, take it to your clit, labia, and vulva, too. Guide your partner's hand where you want the toy to go (or vice versa) and get ready for all the feels. Engle says focusing on the clit can and definitely should be the main event if you want it to, but it can also be just the thing you need to get you turned on and comfortable enough for penetration later on.
When it comes to porn, "lesbian sex" is everywhere, but it’s never actually for lesbians. For some reason, it’s nearly impossible to find "content" where women are having sex with women only for women.
Where do you go if you’re looking for a move or six?
We’ve gathered up tips from cis and trans queer women of different ages, races, and sexual styles. Of course, you don’t have to be a lesbian to have “lesbian sex." You just need two women. Whether you’re a baby dyke or seasoned sapphic, you can learn something here you won’t on Pornhub. Some of the following images are NSFW.
1. Forget what you see in porn. You’re not having performative sex intended for a man to watch on his screen. React to what you and your specific partner enjoy and don’t try to make it look like Blue Is The Warmest Color (no one screws in perfect symmetry)!
2. Don't worry about shaving too much. It's nice to keep things trimmed and cleaned, but your real life lover isn’t looking for a pornstar’s pussy. The most important parts are naturally hairless anyway!
3. Realize that lesbian bodies come in many forms (including pre-surgery trans women.) Ask your partner how their genitals like to be touched and how you can validate their gender identity in the bedroom.
4. Lesbians do more than go down on each other. Your tongue is not the only tool you can put in the box. You’ve got fingers, dildos, vibrators, and in case of emergency, fruit.
6. Use your whole mouth when giving oral, not just your tongue.
7. Pay attention to her inner thighs. Lick, bite, and blow. The erogenous zone is an often ignored yet extremely sensitive area.
8. Delay. Don’t be afraid to give her a peck down there and breathe on it until she’s practically begging for your tongue.
9. When she begs, you can also penetrate her with your tongue.
10. Insert your fingers into her while giving head to stimulate both her clit and vagina. There’s a reason The Rabbit gets both areas at once!
11. Some people are good with just a fingertip and others want your whole fist. Ask what feels pleasurable and always work your way up.
12. Once you're inside of a girl, curl your fingers so they're shaped like a hook. Pull towards you and straighten them again and repeat. This will stimulate her g-spot.
13. Scissoring is a thing. Some ladies like it, but it’s more fun to run your pussy over each other during foreplay rather than play sexual twister.
14. Make use of pillows by using them to prop your partner up for an easier angle.
15. If you like to be in control, sit on their face. You can change the pressure and movement via your body while receiving oral.
16. Pick a strap-on that’s your style. What is a strap-on? It’s a phallus you literally strap onto yourself with an easy belt. They come in different shapes, colors, and sizes.
17. The first time you wear a strap-on, it can seem weird because you can’t feel your own phallus, but your partner definitely will. The more you use it, the more comfortable it will become.
18. Clean your sex toys after every time you have sex. Please.
19. Use condoms. STIs can be spread through sex toys.
20. Get different dildos for different partners. It’s the right thing to do.
21. Don’t buy your sex toys off of Amazon or other unverified online retailers. They’re not FDA approved and have been linked to causing cancer and infertility. Sex toys can be made with jelly-like plastic sheaths are made with phthalates — those nasty chemicals that are in some water bottles – and you don't want them to eventually seep into your system. Instead, buy from companies that sell non-toxic sex toys. Fun Factory, Lelo, Jimmy Jane, nJoy, JeJoue Vibratex, Goldfrau, Elemental Pleasures, OhMiBod, and Nob Elements are a few.
22. If you're wearing a strap-on and penetrating doggy-style, try using a belt (preferably leather.) Loop it under her stomach/hips and hold the end with one hand and the buckle-end with the other. This will give you more thrust and control.
23. If you’re too lazy to wear the strap-on, or if it's simply uncomfortable, use the dildo on each other as if it were an extension of your hands.
24. Express what you want and how you want it. There’s no need to qualify your desires.
25. If she says don’t stop, don’t stop!
26. Be as honest as possible about where you are in terms of your sexual and gender identity. If you're unsure, say that. Questioning is an identity in itself!
27. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated – in and out of the bedroom.
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