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8 Hidden Signs She Is Secretly Curious (And 7 Obvious Ones)
Chris Flynn
Dec 17, 2017
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For obvious reasons, “curiosities” is something that no one likes to talk about. When it comes to who men and women might be interested in, people often believe that if they do not fit into the normal stereotypes, that something is wrong with them. Those who do not fit into acceptable standards for men and women or the heterosexual lifestyle often live in fear and embarrassment, afraid to come out for fear of rejection or being a victim of hate crimes. In some countries, the LGBT community is not encouraged and there are even laws that prevent such people from coming out.
Guys, if you are interested in a girl and you feel that she is giving you a hard time or does not seem interested in you despite all your efforts, then it is possible that she is a lesbian. It is either obvious or it is not. Maybe you wonder how girls know how to find other girls to date. Well, the signs are not always obvious. If you continue reading, you will find the hidden signs and the obvious ones that she is a lesbian. Rather than assuming, you can always ask. It is, after all, the adult and human thing to do.
If she is a lesbian, she is going to be noticeably uncomfortable around guys. You may assume that she is innocent or that she is just sheltered, but the truth is that she would rather be around her girlfriends than around you. Even if she does have a boyfriend, it is just to save face and because it is the norm to do so. However, while she may be a good friend, she may be a terrible girlfriend. The chemistry you share may be way off and you may wonder if you were doing something wrong. It is not you; it is her. She is most likely a closeted lesbian and ashamed to come out. If she fakes a lot then, it may be the time you ask her if she is a lesbian.
Stereotyping is bad, but you can obviously tell a girl is a lesbian by the way she dresses. Gays are usually very flamboyant, but lesbians are not usually that outlandish. If she is into tomboy styles, that is a clear indication that she is gay. By tomboy styles, she wears flannels and clothing that is bigger than her or just clothing that you would expect men to wear. Not all girls who dress like tomboys are lesbians. Some lesbians are very feminine, but you may see them wearing accessories that indicate their LGBTQ lifestyle. These accessories may be rainbow bracelets or even rings. She is technically saying who she is without making a statement. They also have a preference for Chuck Taylor sneakers, ties, and wearing their pants low just like the guys do.
No adult woman should have regular sleepovers with her girlfriends. After a girls’ night out, someone may get drunk and need to sleep over, but after college, there is little need for girlfriends to have regular sleepovers. If your girlfriend is sleeping over regularly with her girlfriends, you may never think that anything is wrong with it, but there are so many things that are wrong with it. She may be using the sleepover as a way to sleep with her lesbian friends and you will be none the wiser. After the sleepover, she acts normal and as though nothing happened. A good excuse for a girl to cheat on her boyfriend with her girlfriend is just to have an innocent sleepover.
Like clothing, a hairstyle could tell so much about a person. Some hairstyles are worn mostly by lesbian women. Mohawks tend to be a favorite hairstyle of lesbians. Lesbians prefer short haircuts, so every female sporting a short haircut comes across as being suspicious. Straight women also don’t wear much hair gel. It is something that guys usually do. So, if she has a military cut or a cut that a guy will wear and too much hair gel, it is likely that she is a lesbian. Another sign is that she may have pretty-boy haircuts or wear bobs. These cuts are usually paired with her lesbian clothing. Just note that some models are expected to sport these hairstyles for their fashion shows and they may be straight.
If she refers to her boyfriend as her partner, then she is probably gay. Usually, girls are eager to say their boyfriend or their man. They barely use partner to refer to a heterosexual relationship. If she is hiding the fact that she is a lesbian, some of the terminology may slip now and then. You will probably find older women who are unmarried and living with men referring to them as their partner. It is unlikely that you will find any woman under forty using this term to refer to her significant other. Homosexuals usually use the term partner, because in some states and countries, gay marriages are illegal, and partner seems to be the more socially acceptable term than referring to someone as your boyfriend or your girlfriend.
There is a good reason behind speculating that lesbians have short fingernails. Lesbians usually don’t take time to get their nails done or add extensions to them because their fingers are a vital part of their intimate lives. Now that you are informed, it is highly unlikely that she is going to have long nails because they can be uncomfortable for her partner. Some females may have short nails because they are professional athletes and refuse to injure their teammates or because they are musicians and long nails make it uncomfortable to play an instrument. So, whilst straight girls get glammed up and go to the salon to get their nails done, you are unlikely to ever see a lesbian getting her nails done.
It is normal for straight women to have had a childhood of boy band posters and crushes on every popular guy. Lesbians do not have these crushes but they have girl crushes. If she is secretly a lesbian, she probably had pictures of powerful female celebrities on her walls and would have told her parents that they were her role models. She was never going to admit to them that she had a crush. Girls with female crushes may just hint that if they were lesbians, they would want to be with Blake Lively, Angelina Jolie or even Scarlett Johansson. Straight girls tend to have girl crushes too, but a lesbian is probably going to obsess about her girl crush and doodle their names together with a heart when she is daydreaming.
Someone’s mannerisms say a lot about who they are as a person. With gays, you can easily tell, but lesbians can be a bit subtler. You should observe how she walks and how she sits. If she sits with her legs spread or walks similar to how a guy will, then she is probably a lesbian or a girl who had too many brothers and male influences in her life growing up. Some lesbians tend to want to hide the fact that they are indeed female by hiding their bust area or wearing clothes to minimize it. A lesbian may also stare at you longer than usual and lick her lips while she is talking to you. She may also be a bit too close for comfort and in your personal space.
A closeted lesbian may have a few friends that she is possessive of. She does not want them to have other friends and she does not like them talking to men. If you have a girlfriend and she is super possessive of her friends or gets jealous easily when they do things without including her, those friends that she seems possessive and protective of can actually be her girlfriend who is posing as her best friend. They may have their reasons for carrying on a secret relationship and involving an unsuspecting male. But if you have a girlfriend and she gets more jealous of her female friends than she gets with you, she may be secretly homosexual. Even if you have a female friend who seems too jealous and too possessive, she may be a lesbian.
If she talks like a lesbian, then maybe she is a lesbian. They are very sensitive and vocal about issues that are related to gender and the LGBTQ community. Does she talk about other lesbians or shows that have lesbian characters? Well, most females do, but if she talks like she could relate to those characters, then she is definitely a lesbian. Some lesbians may also be considered man haters and have a lot of negative things to say about men. A lot of females may have negative things to say about men, but they still find a way to sleep with them. With lesbians, there is no forgiveness and some of their man related conversations, often come across as very hateful. But then again, don’t be too quick to judge.
It is not that she does not sleep with men, but she is not known to lay with men. A girl may obviously not be a virgin and not religious, but no one has witnessed her hooking up with men. She either has ninja skills or she really prefers to hook up with women. If you have a girlfriend and you have slept with her several times without having intercourse, she is probably a lesbian or a closeted virgin. It is understandable if you sleep together once or twice and don’t have intercourse, but to sleep together several times and not have intercourse is a red flag. She’s teasing you and soon it will become time to ask her if she is a lesbian or if she is cheating on you. Lesbians generally don’t have intercourse with men.
Lesbians, like gays, are usually the life of any party. Without your lesbian friend in the mix, something just seems to be missing. They usually hang out with a group of friends and they are very sociable, so their friend’s list may grow very quickly. If she is hanging with other lesbians, she is likely one as well, since they usually like to network together to grow their posse and increase their dating pool. If she hangs out at lesbian social places (bars, nightclubs), she is most likely a lesbian. Lesbians may also be into traveling to cities and countries that are known for beautiful women or she may just be into things that guys are into like construction, carpentry, and mechanics. One’s lifestyle could give a lot of clues about your sexual orientation.
Women who are lesbian look for any reason to get physical with other women. Even if it is just to touch them while passing or as serious as wrestling, lesbians tend to get very physical. So, if you see two friends wrestling for no good reason, holding hands or initiating physical contact, it may seem innocent and cute, but underneath it all are some hidden lesbian tendencies. Don’t be surprised if a few years down the road one of them comes out as a lesbian. Also, even if a lesbian is in a heterosexual relationship, she may still crave a woman’s touch and will try to get it by touching women lightly when she talks. Of course, her boyfriend is not going to think anything of it until she comes out a few years later.
When a straight woman sees an attractive man, her body language may change. It changes just because she may want to seem more attractive to him, so she will flirt and exude a different type of energy. With lesbians, there is no noticeable change in them when an attractive man is nearby. He could try to flirt as much as he wants to but she is probably not going to stroke his ego by laughing at a joke he’s probably told a hundred times. She gets bored when men flirt with her and you may notice her looking anywhere but at him or seemingly impatient. If you ever get these signs from a girl, she is clearly not interested in you or she is a lesbian. It is best that you move on with your life.
The lines between feminine and masculine have long been blurred and the world prefers to use gender-neutral terms. If a woman you know is not as concerned about things that women are concerned about, then she is probably a lesbian. Women usually care about how they look, about how their homes are decorated and kept and about aesthetics. If she doesn’t care about these things, you have to consider whether or not she is a lesbian, or whether she just really doesn’t care. Again, you cannot call someone out on being a lesbian just by observing one sign. There are several signs you ought to look for. Her lack of a feminine touch is just one of the many signs you ought to look for.
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Young pretty woman touching each other under desk in modern office, lesbian concept, smiling, happy.
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Young female boss flirting with her female worker in modern office, woman annoyed by harassment from lesbian.
DEAR DEIDRE My partner got married & went on honeymoon when he said he'd been on work trip
NOT TRUE My bitter ex told lies to my friends about my 'small manhood' after I dumped her
BOOZE BROKE US My alcoholic mum and stepdad are both dead but are still causing me problems
FREAKED OUT My lover told me she fancied my dad after I said I had a crush on Kay Burley
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M having a lesbian affair with my mother-in-law, and I am terrified my husband will find out.
Last year, he and I moved in with his parents so we’d be in a bubble for lockdown and they could help with the kids.
Most people moan or joke about their mother-in-law but I’ve always got on really well with mine.
She has a great sense of humour, is kind and looks great for 53.
She had my husband very young — he’s 35 and I’m 40.
She and my father-in-law have had a rocky marriage for years, and just before Christmas they split up, and he moved out.
One night, my husband was at work and the kids were in bed when she suggested we have a drink together and watch a film.
I noticed she was really dolled up and looked beautiful.
In the middle of the film she started crying and confessed she’s a lesbian — that was why her marriage had ended. I comforted and cuddled her, and then she kissed me.
For the support pack Want To Have A Baby?, email deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk.
And read my advice on Facebook, Twitter and at thesun.co.uk/deidre
It felt strange, but really nice, so I kissed her back. She led me up to her bedroom and I didn’t protest. I’ve never had sex with a woman before but it was amazing and so intense.
Since then, we’ve kept on doing it whenever we can. As soon as my husband leaves the room, we have a kiss, and sometimes I’ll sneak into her bed when he’s sleeping.
One night, I fell asleep in her arms. The only reason we didn’t get caught was because my husband had a lie-in.
My feelings for her are growing stronger and I’m sure my husband will notice the looks between us, or catch us in bed. I want to be with her but don’t want to hurt him.
My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
DEIDRE SAYS: You know that if your husband finds out this will destroy not only your relationship with him, but his relationship with his mother – and your whole family.
He will be devastated that the two people he loves and trusts most in the world have let him down.
His mum may have turned to you for comfort, but encourage her to find support elsewhere and a relationship with somebody else.
Do you really think this relationship has a future? If not, maybe best stop now.
My support pack Can’t Be Faithful? may help to clarify things for you.
As for your marriage, are you still happy with your husband?
I’d advise you both to move back to your own home as soon as you can, and work on rebuilding your relationship.
GOT a story? RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAIL exclusive@the-sun.co.uk
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