Lesbian For The 1st Time

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After breaking up with her long-term boyfriend, writer Kate Leaver decided to use Tinder to live out her ultimate fantasy - sleeping with another woman and the experience taught her more about herself than ever before.
Friday night, and I'm two hours, four cocktails and three intense kisses into my first-ever date with a woman. We stumble out of a tiny bar onto the street and look at each other. She puts her arm around my waist, pulls me into her, bites my bottom lip and whispers in my ear, "So, are you coming home with me?"
Ten seconds pass, then I kiss her in a way that says, "Hell, yes" - before hailing a cab and diving into the back seat. She gives the driver directions to her place, then pins me up against the window, smiles at me with her ridiculously beautiful face, and kisses me. Her hands are all over me and my breathing gets shallow - I'm half turned on, half terrified of meeting the driver's eye in the rear-view mirror.
I've only ever been in relationships with guys, but I always wondered what it'd be like to sleep with a woman. It's never been about a specific person; more just fleeting fantasies about strangers. I started watching lesbian porn when I was 24 and realised women's bodies turned me on. That was my secret for years - and I liked it that way. Sure, I thought it'd be hot to try something different, but I had no idea how to make it happen, and didn't really expect it to.
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Then, when I was 27, my long-term relationship ended and I found myself single for the first time since 19. The break-up was excruciating - I loved him very much - but necessary. I cried every day for about three months, then downloaded Tinder, as I thought it might help me move on.
At first, it reminded me that there were people who could fancy me. It was a strange, comforting way to get back in the game; swiping through pictures of guys without having to engage with any, until I felt ready.
My swiping-but-not-talking phase lasted a month until, after encouragement from some work friends, I agreed to meet one guy for a drink. But I was so nervous, I drank too much and yelled at him about feminism and climate change. Then I turned away when he tried to kiss me and ran to the bus stop, jumping on the first one that came. Cringe. When I told my sister, she insisted I try again. Dinner with an Italian male model, three sexy nights with a gorgeous French man and four romantic dates with a Dutch 21 year old later, my confidence was gradually coming back.
Late one night, about six months after I'd joined, I was idly scrolling through the app when a photo of an extremely hot couple 'looking for another girl for fun' caught my eye. I didn't want to be that girl - mainly because the guy wasn't my type - but it suddenly occurred to me that I could use Tinder to curate my fantasy of sleeping with a woman.
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Out of curiosity, at first, I decided to change my settings to 'Women Only', and started swiping. I'd pause on each girl, and picture kissing her to test whether I still found the whole thing hot. I did. In fact, I was surprised by how many I found attractive. With men, I was lucky to swipe right once every 40 photos. With women, it was more like one in four.
My first match was with Maria. She was 30, half-Spanish, half-Australian with green eyes and rapid-fire banter, but after three days she simply vanished, and I never heard from her again. Then there was Cassie, 28, with long dark hair, twice as curvy as me, twice as confident and a total dream. But she soon made it clear she wanted a threesome with her boyfriend, and that wasn't part of my plan, so we ended our interaction, wishing each other luck.
Sophie, a bohemian-looking artist with puppies in her photos and a pixie haircut, said, "I'm actually just trying to make new friends, nothing sexual." I told her I was after the exact opposite, she said she understood, and as a little gesture of online support, we followed each other on Instagram.
Diana, a 36-year-old Brazilian dancer, called me 'a pretty mermaid angel'; Isabella, 22, conversed exclusively in emojis; Myf, a sweet 27 year old from Wales, was only in town for three days, and Bobbie, 29, was too into her cats for my liking. At this stage, I was still keen to find my first female hook-up, but I was also just enjoying the messaging. It felt totally different to chatting to guys.
Girl-on-girl Tinder felt gentler and less threatening. Nobody offered to send me dick pics straight away, or got mad when I said I wasn't interested. Yes, things could get cheeky - a couple of girls shared exactly what they wanted to do to me - but it was never without an obvious lead-up that implied consent and comfort on my part.
A month into my 'Women Only' mission, I matched with a girl called Nikky. She was Irish, beautiful and four years younger than me. In one of her photographs, she was sitting at a candlelit table wearing a low-cut black dress, smiling into the camera. It looked like she was on a date and I remember thinking, 'I wish it was with me'. I swiped right, we matched and she asked what I was looking for on Tinder. I told her I'd never been with a woman and I wanted to change that.
I was worried she might be offended at the thought of being my 'experiment', but she said she found the idea of being my first a massive turn-on, and we arranged a date for the following Saturday.
She was already there when I arrived, sitting on a black velvet seat in the back corner of the bar, and wearing the tight black dress from her photo. Sensing my nerves, she ordered me an elderflower cocktail, and we covered the usual conversational ground for first dates: jobs, siblings, jokes, favourite TV shows. But the whole time I was acutely aware of two things: her eyes on my body, and her hand travelling north from my knee.
Her interest in me was clear - and I knew I was attracted to her. At some point, I remember brushing her lips with my thumb and stroking the side of her face briefly. We continued this sweet little seduction dance for a while, sitting closer and closer to one another and inventing reasons to touch, then talking about something completely unsexy to give me more time to build up my courage.
Then she arched one eyebrow, stood up, insisted on paying for our drinks and pulled me out onto the street. We got in the cab and made out the whole way to her place. I'd drunk my nerves away and by the time we stumbled through her front door, into her room and onto her bed, I surprised myself with how confident I felt with her.
We got naked, fast. She stopped to check I was OK, but I was more than OK - I was completely mesmerised. I couldn't stop looking at her, touching her, kissing her everywhere. She pinned me down on her purple sheets and talked to me while she kissed her way down my chest, tummy and tops of my thighs. She went down on me and it felt amazing, like she really knew what she was doing. Then I flipped her over and did the same - being between her legs was fascinating and confusing.
The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings responsible for sexual pleasure.
Even though we had the same body parts, this was a totally different angle and I had no idea what to do. I tried to imitate what I knew felt good on me, and it was received pretty well. We played around with each other's bodies for hours, then fell asleep tangled together.
I went home the next morning feeling completely satisfied. I'd slept with a woman and it had been sweet and raunchy in exactly the way I'd hoped. We didn't see each other again, but that's only because I soon moved 13,500km from Australia to the UK. We kept in touch for a while until she got back together with an ex-girlfriend and I started to fall in love with a guy. I take love one person at a time, whether they're male or female.
Right now, I want monogamy with a man, but that doesn't necessarily make me exclusively heterosexual. I still fantasise about women. Either way, sleeping with Nikky changed me. It made me feel powerful and sexy and open to anything. It was liberating and taught me to appreciate the beauty of women's bodies, including my own.
It might sound funny, but making another woman orgasm made me see my own body as attractive. I didn't tell anyone for ages, because it felt awesome to hug that secret night to myself. When I did finally open up to a few close friends, they were shocked but also proud of me, and I loved that.
I've always been sensible, sweet and bookish Kate - the girl with the good grades, good career and good relationship. Sex with a woman brought out a mysterious, daring side that nobody expected, including myself. It also taught me to see sex in a more intimate way, and to expect that level of respect and tenderness from any partner, male or female - whether I meet them on Tinder or IRL. It's something I'd do again, if the timing was right. And if I can do that, bloody hell, what can't I do?
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(Including some v important fingernail advice.)
Good news: If you're interested in dabbling in lesbian sex for the first time ever, you're in for lots and lots and lots of exploratory fun (with body parts that you may already be familiar with as an added bonus.)
Consider this a safe space to explore all your lady-loving desires filled with tips, tricks, and expert advice to make sure your sex session is as comfortable and positive as possible. Because regardless of whether it’s your first time having sex period or your first time with another woman, the whole sex thing can be intimidating. And that’s okay.
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Like most things, sex takes practice, and it takes time to get to know someone’s body. There's no need to put pressure on yourself or your partner.
Our advice? Focus on what feels good and take the seriousness out of it (since sex should be fun and playful.)
(P.S. This guide is a reference to having sex with folks who identify as women, which includes both women who have vulvas and women who have penises. I, as a non-discriminating queer, personally love all of ‘em. But tailor the tips and tricks below to your situation and what works best for you and your partner.)
So in addition to talking to your partner about their sexual history and when they were last tested, you may want to invest in some dental dams to protect yourself from oral infection. Sure, putting your tongue against a piece of plastic isn’t super appealing, but it can prevent you from contracting things like HPV among other common STIs.
“Some sexually transmitted infections can also be transmitted by mutual masturbation, fingers, and hands,” says public health practitioner Janielle Bryan, “To prevent the spread, remember to wash your hands and under your fingernails before and after any sexual contact. You can also purchase finger cots to be used as informal finger condom.”
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It’s a bit of a lesbian saying that you can’t have long nails and have lesbian sex. But TBH, many queer women beg to differ, myself included. Acrylic and dip nails are still possible—and can be enjoyable!—during penetrative sex. They’re thicker and less sharp than regular nails, which makes them less dangerously scratchy. But if you’re getting poke-your-eye-out stiletto tips, pls stay away from your partners with vulvas.
As far as natural nails, in my opinion, they tend to be thinner and sharper. As long as they’re trimmed down though, they certainly allow for more dexterity. But honestly, best to ask your partner what they prefer to ensure no anxieties about scratches and/or hangnails.
Nail length aside, please, please, please wash your hands—especially under your nails—before sex. You don’t want to bring the bacteria of the day to your partner’s sensitive bits because, hello, UTIs and bacterial infections.
Before things get started, you should absolutely initiate a sex talk with your partner. Discuss your experience levels (so each person knows what to expect from the other), and dive into boundaries, hard limits, and interests.
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Here are some prompts to get you started:
Your first-time lesbian sex experience probs isn’t the time to dive immediately into some kinky, BDSM sex, but if you’d feel more comfortable, don’t be afraid to establish a safe word like pineapple or red that you can use if anything is getting to be too much or you start feeling uncomfortable too. These safe words will ensure nothing goes past what you’re comfortable doing.
As for during le sex, enthusiastic consent is a must, so always actively check in with your partner to make sure the pressure is right, everything feels good, and they’re comfortable. (“Do you like that?” is a personal fave.)
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In my experience, the best thing about sex with another woman is that there’s no distinctive end, which means you get to savor it all. And Bryan agrees that taking it slow “gives you time to relax and get familiar with your partner's body.” She adds that it’s pretty much the easiest way to alleviate all of those “I’m-doing-something-new” anxieties and can help you find more confidence in your skills.
And though an orgasm shouldn’t be the end-all-be-all of your sex sessions, taking it slow will certainly help you or your partner get there. “Vulvas need prolonged, repetitive stimulation to reach climax. Slowly increase the intensity or until the person tells you otherwise,” suggests Bryan.
IMO, this is a pretty low-risk, easy way to get things kicked off—so long as you feel comfortable touching yourself in front of your partner. Not only can you can show them how you like to be touched, but they can show you how they like to be touched. Before too long, you both will be taking over each other’s hands and making each other feel ah-mazing.
Lubricant isn’t just for p-in-v sex. While vaginas self-lubricate, it never hurts to add a lil something extra to make sure there’s no unbearable friction. Plus, using lube with a dental dam can “enhance the pleasure for the receiver," sexuality educator Tanya Bass previously told Cosmopolitan.
Opt for a silicone or water-based lube if you’re using latex barrier methods. And if you’re with a trusted partner and you’re both aware of each other’s STI status, oil lubes can be used too—just never use them with condoms since oil-based lubes can breakdown latex.
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Once when I was on a trio date with my boyfriend and another femme, my boyfriend asked, “how do lesbians know when sex ends?” She laughed and said, “when you’re both too exhausted to move.” And, yeah, it’s kind of true.
Since women have a shorter refractory period, most lesbian sex doesn’t have a particular stop point. But just because you can go for hours without a break doesn’t mean you should. Water and cuddle breaks are necessary and encouraged because you need time to recharge, reset, and put energy toward something other than sex.
It’s also important to know that you can stop in the middle if you want to. In fact, you can stop at any time you want. You don’t have to “finish” anything, even if your partner makes you feel like you should.
Don’t try to perform or pretend like you're more experienced than you are. Obviously it’s normal to want to be good for your partner and show off your skills, but know that it’s a process that takes time.
Instead, for the first time around, know that 1. Sex should feel good (in whatever way that means to you) 2. Sex can be weird and cause distinct sounds and smells, which are perfectly normal and 3. Your partner isn’t judging you on your face, or sounds, or body—they're really thinking about how g'dam sexy you are.
So relax, my friend. Take the pressure off of yourself and enjoy the moment.
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Gabrielle Smith Gabrielle Smith is a Brooklyn based writer whose work focuses on topics like sex/love, ethical non-monogamy, mental illness, race, and identity.
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