Lemon Stealing Whore
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Lemon Stealing Whore
person 1: i hope the lemon stealing whores don't steal any of our lemons.
person 2: yeah we should get insurance on our lemon tree . person 1: if you were a lemon i'd put you on my shelf and cherish you.
person 2: *turns into lemon*
What/who is the "Lemon Stealing Whore"?
Comment removed by moderator · 8 yr. ago
it's difficult difficult lemon difficult
Comment deleted by user · 8 yr. ago
Comment removed by moderator · 8 yr. ago
Comment removed by moderator · 8 yr. ago
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i always lose it at the very end "hey what the fuck!"
I love how he gets really serious at the end, "HEY, WHAT THE FUCK!!!"
Bahahahahaha. Oh god thank you for sharing. That's the first belly laugh I've had on reddit in weeks. In tears man. WHAT THE FUCK? Haha I fucking lost it.
I think this was also popular because the dialog/acting was so interesting and fun that people wanted to watch that more than the actual porn bit.
"Just think of all the things we could do with lemons!"
It's quicker to search this subreddit than type out a new post. Or check Google or Urban Dictionary or knowyourmeme as the sidebar helpfully suggests.
No: I did not steal the lemons, yes; I an a sourpuss about this subreddit
For whoever reported this, thank you , but we decided that it's A-okay to refer OP to earlier discussion on r/OutOfTheLoop especially if there is a good answer. Sometimes one of us will approve something because (s)he doesn't have the time to do that or (let's be honest) because even us mods don't know every single submission there is on here. So thank you too /u/mywifeletsmereddit !
I get the bitterness about people not doing any searches before submitting, but you should see how much stuff we remove everyday already. So everyone chill out and stay friendly please.
"Do not berate people for not using Google. Any reminder that an answer could have been Googled will be removed."
If you're a sourpuss about this subreddit, you should follow the rules.
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Lemon Stealing Whores refers to an introduction to a pornographic film in which a couple discuss their prized lemon tree while a scantily-clad woman steals lemons from them. Due to the ridiculous nature of the set up, the intro went viral. It has inspired parodies and is frequently referenced in threads online.
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****Warning: Graphic porn description to follow****
Having now watched the vid reviewed here, I feel compelled to write a more detail ed " blow -by-blow" of the action portion of the vid -- sorry but "Suffice it to say, they fuck " just doesn't cut it for the greater portion of the action. Because, let's face it, since the time of the Marquis de Sade 's 120 Days of Sodom , perhaps even since the days of the Satyricon of Petronius , how we fuck -- and how we depict fucking in the popular media of our day -- has proved to be as important a barometer of who we are as a society as how we eat, dress, and study .
See, what actually happens is not just that the whore kneel s and the porn action starts, but that the dude (who happens to be James Deen , yay) slap s the whore right across her whore face and the dude's girlfriend or wife (or whatever she is) tells the dude to 'teach her a lesson' -- which the dude does essentially by.... warning for the prudish or weak of stomach, it's going to be endlessly graphic and detailed from here on out.... grabbing her by the throat and shoving her to right to her knees and then fucking her whore mouth. There's a difference, you see, between a blowjob and a mouthfucking , the former being more or less passive on the part of the men getting pleasured, and the latter being quite the opposite, almost passive on the part of whoever's mouth is being used, the pleasure receiver expending all the energy in fucking that mouth.
So then the dude's girlfriend comes back out and, well I don't know about you but if my girlfriend came out and saw me mouthfucking a lemon thief, she'd be nonplussed . But this chick is like, 'yeah that's right, that's what you get for stealing our lemons' (her exact words are " gag on his cock , you whore!!") -- but then she decides that the lemon whore is good enough to get 'a bushel of lemons' if she'll come in the house and do as good a job. So in the house they go, and what follows is not simple fucking, but ass fucking (for which the whore begs, time and again), interrupted by a brief episodes of aggressive ass to mouth , accompanied by a lot of whore-slapping -- in the face, on the ass, even on her tits . There is hair-pulling, being spat upon, and some choking , which is worrisome until the whore gasps out (quite convincingly) 'I love to be choked.' Oh, and an unsatisfyingly short moment of whore-to-girlfriend cunnilingus , and some shoving of the title lemons in various of the whore's orifice s. Lemon-related comments pervade the scene.
The vid ends with the dude exploding his ejaculate across the backs of both women, who are side by side in opposite directions; the whore laps up what of it is on the girlfriend's back, then spits it into the girlfriend's mouth (hey, I warned you several times about the graphicness).... then the dude tells her, 'that's what you get for stealing lemons, don't steal anymore' -- and then, after the dude and his girl walk away, the whore deadpans to the camera : 'I'm gonna steal lemons every day!!'
The End.
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Lemon Stealing Whore is a ridiculous pornographic movie . This isn't one of those videos that's just sort of porn, it's pretty hardcore. Definitely NSFW . That said, here's the link .
The video apparently takes place in a world where lemons are an extremely valuable commodity. The opening scene is really the best part, and I would strongly recommend watching it for its comedic value (You can stop when the chick starts licking the dude's pants, but it's probably nothing you haven't seen before ). Now, I'm not going to describe the entire video what the hell, sure I will. It opens on a young couple sitting outside on a bench talking about how much they love lemons, and specifically, the lemon tree in their yard. They express concern about the local population of Lemon Stealing Whores, meanwhile a whore dressed only in red fishnet and black heels is stuffing lemons into her garment. The couple returns their attention to their precious lemon tree and upon seeing the whore, leap into action. The stolen lemons are recovered, and the woman leaves to put them somewhere safe. The accosted whore kneels down, and the man whips out his...Jeez, you know, I might be about done here. Suffice it to say, they fuck. After moving indoors, the man and the lemon whore do all number of naughty things while the woman masturbates in a decidedly uncomfortable looking position.
What's really great about this film is the actors. They are obviously aware of how ridiculous the script is, and the man especially has a hard time keeping a straight face. All in all, it's one of the worst things I've seen. Speaking as someone who enjoyed "The Black Mask," I think it's how bad this film is that makes it so fantastic. This movie is so bad it rivals Tom Green's "Freddy Got Fingered." It really makes you wonder who's out there writing things like this...
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