Leaving Shopping Cart In Parking Lot Now A Felony Offense

Thirty-eight states have upgraded shopping cart abandonment to a Class A felony, with mandatory minimum sentences of 5 years per cart. "This is the crime wave of our generation," said a district attorney while prosecuting a soccer mom under the new "Cartel" statutes. Retailers have begun installing breathalyzers that lock carts if they detect even trace amounts of laziness. READ THE SATIRE: https://spintaxi.com/leaving-shopping-cart-in-parking-lot-now-a-felony-offense/