Las Vegas Heatwave: Scorching Temps Threaten City

'LAS VEGAS WEATHER GOES WILD: 120-DEGREE HEATWAVE MELTS SIN CITY—RESIDENTS SAY IT'S 'LIKE LIVING IN AN OVEN!''

By Chip McScandal, The Vegas Heat Herald

LAS VEGAS, NV—The desert just turned up the heat to hellish levels as Las Vegas sizzles under a scorching 120-degree heatwave—and locals are screaming, 'Enough already!'

Tourists expecting a cool poolside getaway got a rude awakening this week as thermometers near the Strip hit triple digits before noon. The infamous 'Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas' sign wasn’t just glowing—it was practically melting under the brutal sun!

'IT'S LIKE SATAN'S SAUNA OUT HERE!' screamed one overheated blackjack dealer, fanning himself with a losing poker hand. 'I’ve seen slot machines spit out more mercy than this weather!'

Even the famous Bellagio fountains were feeling the burn—eyewitnesses claim the water was steaming as it shot into the air! And forget about walking barefoot on the Strip—one unlucky Elvis impersonator reportedly fried an egg on the sidewalk… and then his blue suede shoes melted to the pavement!

METEOROLOGISTS ISSUE DIRE WARNING: 'Drink water or become jerky!'

Weather experts say this inhuman heat isn’t just uncomfortable—it’s deadly. Paramedics have reportedly responded to dozens of heatstroke cases, including one unlucky bachelor party that thought it was a good idea to hike Red Rock Canyon at high noon. (Spoiler: It wasn’t.)

'This isn’t just hot—it’s Vegas hot,' said local bartender Misty Malone, serving up margaritas that evaporated before they even reached customers’ lips. 'At this point, we’re all just surviving on AC and regret.'

But there’s a twist! The National Weather Service warns that this fiendish furnace could break all-time records—and with no relief in sight, Sin City might just become Sun City.

WILL LAS VEGAS SURVIVE? Or will the Strip turn into one big giant frying pan? Stay tuned… and hydrate, people!

Got a heatwave horror story? Send your meltdowns to scorch@vegasheatherald.com and maybe we’ll feature you in our next 'Boiled Alive!' edition. 😎🔥

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