Ladyboy And Woman
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Ladyboy And Woman
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Ladyboy in a cabaret show on Koh Tao.
Ladyboys are sometimes more beautiful than some women.
Ladyboys often perform in cabaret shows, are hairdressers or beauticians.
So called ‘ladyboy cabaret’ attract hundreds of tourists.
Thank you for visiting. You can now buy me a coffee!
What comes to your mind when you think of Thailand? I know what you will say. You will probably tell me about paradise beaches, palm trees, good food, temples, Buddha statues and scooters. Then, with a bit of irony and humour, you will mention go – go bars and ladyboys. You might even wink at me and say that it’s very hard to distinguish the latter from women, and many men, that come to Thailand for holidays, end their parties in sweet embraces of ladies with very low voices and Adam’s apples.
In Thailand ladyboys are everywhere: in town halls, shops, on the streets, in schools, temples and restaurants. These transgender men have become the country’s trademark that baffles tourists that come here from all around the world. Visitors are so interested in ladyboys that Google search term such as ‘why are there so many ladyboys in Thailand’ is one of the most popular when it comes to Thai culture. And no wonder, Thailand is probably the only country in the world, where ladyboys are so common and where they live as normal members of the society.
But why are there so many of them here? Is the Land of Smiles really so tolerant and open? What is life like for transgender people in a country that still perceives having children as a priority? Do ladyboys fight for their rights in Thailand just as they would in Europe?
‘Ladyboy’ is a term that is used by tourists for a transgender man – one that dresses and behaves like a woman. In Europe we call them transvestites or transgender. Thais use another word – ‘kathoey’ – which comes from Khmer language and means a boy that is also a lady – a ladyboy. The word ‘kahtoey’ is also used to distinguish a transgender man from men and women. That’s why most of the Thai society perceives ladyboys as a third gender. Many kathoeys prefer this name as they think ‘ladyboy’ is slightly disrespectful.
In my school, where I taught 12-20 year old youngsters, every class had at least one ladyboy. At a stall, where I buy fruit and vegetables, the seller is a beautiful woman, whose hands are a bit too big and voice a bit too low. The receptionist in my building is also a ladyboy. In night clubs, tourist agencies and restaurants – ladyboys are almost everywhere? Where do they come from?
Once I was told that if a young boy from a very early age plays with dolls and prefers to spend time with girls, his parents start giving him hormones in the age of 7, so he changes into a woman. It was hard for me to believe this and it seemed very wrong. Luckily, as I later found out, the truth is a bit different.
Very rarely and only in special circumstances, parents interfere in their child’s development in such a way. In other cases, children make a decision to change their gender. This usually happens when they are teenagers. In Thailand hormones can be bought without a prescritpion and they are available in every pharmacy. Many young boys, between 13-15, who discover that they are homosexuals, start taking medication without their parents knowledge. They want to be more feminine, they want men to like them more and they want to be different from the others. Very often they are impressed with ladyboys, who are actresses and singers. With time, they want to change into a woman completely. Some of them prefer to keep the male organs, but still dress up as women. Others put some make up on and wear men’s clothes.
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Parents normally don’t react when their son starts to behave like a girl. They take it as something natural. In Thailand so called ‘coming out’ is not a big deal. There are no fireworks and no applause. Parents don’t disown their children either (as it happens in the west). Transgender people are accepted and tolerated. Because of that, those of a different sexual orientation can enjoy their freedom of expressing themselves.
Modern commercialisation of ladyboys made them even more visible. Cabarets, where men, who look like beautiful women, perform on stage, are one of the the attractions in Thailand and can be found in every bigger town and city in the country.
The explanation can be found in Buddhism – the official religion of Thailand. Despite what many people think, Theravada Buddhism, a form of the religion that is dominant here, is very complicated. Thais not only believe in Buddha and his philosophy, but also in all kinds of gods and ghosts. Afterlife takes a prominent role here. Thais believe that spirits don’t simply reincarnate, but they have to go through heaven or hell first, depending on what life they led in their previous lives. So, a very harsh punishment awaits those that committed a murder or other awful crimes. For smaller offenses, like prostitution or not looking after a pregnant wife, one can be born a boy that later in life wants to become a girl. Thais believe that kathoey are sinners, who want to redeem their sins.
First Buddhist scriptures also mention 3 genders: a man, a woman and a kathoey. So, religion officially allows for the third gender to exist.
Because ladyboys are sinners, who must have done something wrong in their previous lives, Thais treat them with pity. According to the local beliefs, being born a kathoey doesn’t forcast a happy life.
It would seem that ladyboys are welcome in Thai society and there is no place for discrimination, which is so evident in the European countries. Many expats and tourists claim that Thailand is the most open and tolerant country in the world.
Buddism mentions kathoeys as the third gender, but that doesn’t stop monks from telling ladyboys who they should be. ‘We can’t change them all’ said one monk in the interview for The Telegraph ‘but we can control their behaviour and show them that they were born men and not women’. Some monasteries offer special programmes, where parents can enrol their kids and where the young ones are taught how to be men again.
Kathoeys are treated as second class citizens in Thailand. They are not bullied, but their role is mainly to entertain others. They can be stylists, make up artists, dancers in one of the cabarets, but getting a well paid job might prove very difficult.
In Thailand military service is compulsory. Only healthy men can serve in the army. Ladyboys are registered as men and they cannot change their gender. Officially they also need to become soldiers at one point in their lives. The problem occurs when they show up for their military commission in mini skirts and make up. At the moment the law says that in such a case, a man should be classified as mentally disabled and cannot serve his country. This information is added into his documents, which then unables him to find a job. That’s why many kathoeys work as prostitutes and dancers in cabaret shows.
If a ladyboy manages to find a well paid position in an office, it is usually a low paid one and she will never get a promotion. The only solution here is to reduce make up, cut hair short and wear pants.
Not long ago the entertainment world in Thailand was shaken when one of the TV stations’ bosses showed up in a programme dressed as a woman. Despite the fact that his sexual orientation was known to many and he had been seen walking in high heels and dresses around Bangkok, his act of making it official by coming to work as a woman, aroused controversies. Until then it he must have gone through the motions. A person of a higher rank cannot be a kathoey.
Transgender people don’t have it easy in Thailand. As any other Thai, ladyboys suffer in silence and cover their misfortunes and problems with a smile. They turn everything in fun and games as it is hard for them to survive in a society, which tolerates them, but cannot fully accept them. Slowly there are more and more activists in Thailand that fight for the rights for the ladyboys to have better lives. Kathoeys also start to discuss the issues and openly admit that something must change in their country, so they can enjoy the same freedom as any other Thai person. But they have a long way to go and a lot of battles to fight.
More than 15 years ago I moved from my home country Poland to the UK. I became an English teacher in Thailand and started my own online business. On this blog I write about living in different countries, travelling and my experiences as a location-independent entrepreneur.
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The Complete Guide to Trans in Asia
Thailand is always in the conversation when it comes to the topics of prettiest ladyboys. Also called Katoeys , they are accepted as a third gender.
An interesting thing is how accepted Ladyboys they are in Thai culture. Although many of them face adversities at the home front, they seem to be included into the fabric of the society in Thailand.
The transgenders here do not like to tell others that they are a man. A ladyboy will always believe that she is a woman, and not a man. That may not be hard to believe, since many of them turn out to be very beautiful. This becomes even more apparent after they get plastic surgeries. The feminine enhancements truly bring out their beauty, even more than real women.
This country is world renowned for producing some of the most attractive shemales in all of the world. You can see the excitement of tourists, as they like to take pictures with them to show there friends and families back home. From Bangkok, to Chiang Mai, to Pattaya, you may be please to know that you can see these ladyboys all over Thailand.
In this category page you can read all about the ladyboys of Thailand. Discover the ways to meet them in the various cities, and much more.
The fact still remains that the term Ladyboy orginated from Thailand. That alone should tell you the influence the transgender have had in Thai Culture, and also all over the globe. As a tourist it won’t take you that long…
Chiang Mai is the beautiful and athentic city in Thailand, and also home to some the most lovely Ladyboys you can imagine. Many of the transgenders here are not only looking to work in the bar industy, but also seriously interested in serious relationships and dating with foreigners. The ladyboys in this area of Thailand can also give you insights into the cultural aspects of Thai living, especially as it pertains to the acceptance of Ladyboys in this city. This is the.. Read More
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What a place! Pattaya is not only considered to be “sin city”, but it also has a huge ladyboy scene. This beachtown in Thailand is famous for its nightlife on Walking Street which is home to countless bars, nightclubs, and nightlife activities geared catered to the foreigners. Pattaya also has fully dedicated ladyboy beer bars, go go bars. The online scene in this city is also great to meet some decent good ladyboys who are looking for dating foreigners… read more
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It seems that everybody knows somebody who has accidentally made out with a ladyboy, or worse. I never thought I’d be one of them, but then again, nobody ever does.
First off, let’s establish what a ladyboy is.
A ladyboy is a transgendered or transvestite individual in Southeast Asia. In Thailand, for example, they are openly tolerated if not embraced and even regarded as good luck charms.
My story takes place between Christmas and New Year’s last year, on Phuket. I would normally avoid what has become such a seedy place like the plague, but it so happened that I had to head there to get a chest x-ray for my Australian visa. While there, I met a group of friends who wanted to check out the ladyboy cabaret. Given that I had nothing better to do, I tagged along.
Ladyboy shows are often a way for ladyboys to save up for the final step of the surgical procedure to become a woman. The performers tend to at least have breast implants, and are quite often absolutely beautiful, and convincing!
I sat through an hour or so of performances in Russian, English, Chinese, and, of course, Gangnam Style, so that every possible member of the audience would be satisfied hearing a song in his/her native language, performed by crystal-adorned ladyboys dancing a little out of sync with smiles plastered on their faces.
After the show, we had an opportunity to take photos with the various performers. One of the more beautiful ones I had noticed on stage beckoned me over.
He (she?) grabbed my hand and slung it over her (his?) shoulder. My friend, Dylan (who attended with me on the pretense that ‘the journalist in him said yes’), snapped a photo just as the unthinkable happened:
The ladyboy stuck my hand down her (his?) top.
It rested there for a few seconds (though it felt like hours) before I realized what was happening. I pulled it back out at lightning speed, completely flabbergasted, as the ladyboy laughed at me.
For the remainder of the night I just kept looking down at my hand, unsure of what to do.
Do I wash it? Sanitize it? Chop it off?
And so, without even meaning to, I made it to second base with a ladyboy. I have now joined the rank and file of tourists in Thailand who have befallen such a fate.
I think the best course of action for me now is to do as the locals do, and regard this as a good luck charm. If nothing else, it makes for one hilarious story.
*This post is for Chelsea, who so eloquently said one night, “The title of Kristin’s Southeast Asia memoirs: I Made it to Second Base With a Ladyboy .”
*Special thanks to Dylan Lowe for the photos, and you’re welcome, Dylan, for getting to be the one to witness this account first-hand.
2015 Update: Transgendered individuals have a hard enough time with acceptance into the societies they were raised in without the burden of someone like me writing a post like this. I’m ashamed for highlighting our differences and instead want to celebrate the beautiful (inwardly and outwardly) and strong women who have the bravery to embrace their lives as transgendered individuals. If this post offends you, it’s because I’m a silly girl without an understanding of the difficulty those who dare greatly to be different. I support you in all that you do, empowered woman. I respect your struggle and promise that moving forward, all that I do in my writing and attitude will reflect that. Much respect where it is due.
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Ha! those lady boy shows are definitely entertaining but I missed out on the second base bit… lucky you!
Haha what an experience! I wasn’t able to watch a single lady boy show when I went to Thailand last year 🙁
You’re not realllly missing out on much, honestly.
She doesn’t seem to have silicon… were they real or fake? 😀
Too funny! I’ve been to Phuket twice. I went once with the teachers at my school and once with John because he had never been. Both times, there were funny incidents with lady boys, but the best by far was sending John out to get a few bottles of water one evening and having him come back completely traumatized after a lady boy exposed him/her self at the convenience store!
Ahhhh, goodness. Their faces look so fake!
Not the fakest part, let me tell you!
This is brilliant. Best blog post title I’ve seen in ages! Good on you for being so lighthearted about it. Did no one capture Dylan in any compromising positions?
Good stuff! I just discovered the ladyboy phenomenon in Bangkok, but from a more of a distance than you!
You see them all over SE Asia. Very special
The good news is that he/she was definitely the prettiest of the bunch 😉
Nice and not sure if you’re sunburnt of they are loaded in that ever popular white powder which makes the contrast so intense. ;]
Maybe we could just say I’m tan…Yes, I like tan.
Oh lordy! You poor thing.. but entertaining
Once any straight man spends a night with a pretty lady body, he will very rarely be 100% satisfied with a normal women again. Don’t ask me how I know… I just know ok, lol.
Most amazing comment I’ve seen in a while!
Don’t worry happens to us all eventually – or is it just me. Great blog post btw thanks for sharing.
Haha just dancing with one is no issue, I think people mistake them for women and find out when it’s too late.
Hey, just a heads up, you would call them “she” if they identify as women. If you call a transwoman (which Kathoeys are) “he”, you are misgendering her. If an individual is presenting as a woman, if they have gone to the trouble of undergoing dangerous surgical interventions like these ladies have, if they identify as female, then you most certainly should call them “she”. Not “he-she”. “He-she” is the trans equivalent to the “n” word for African people, or “ f@ggot ” for gay men. It is very offensive. I’m sure no one here meant to be offensive, but now you know!
You’re absolutely right, and I appreciate that you were patient with your response. I don’t mean to offend anyone but I can see how my post could be seen as insensitive.
Hi there 🙂 im glad you had a good tim
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