LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE IN CHILDREN
After becoming parents, the primary goal of parents in life is to raise healthy children. But health is not only being strong physically but also mentally and socially. In order to raise self-confident, happy, healthy and successful children , it is very important to immediately recognize the problem of lack of self-confidence in children and take the necessary precautions.
What is a Lack of Self Confidence?
Self-confidence is when individuals develop positive emotions about themselves and feel good in line with these positive emotions. Self-confident individuals become more peaceful and courageous by developing positive relationships both with themselves and with those around them, along with positive feelings about themselves. It is called lack of self-confidence when individuals develop negative feelings about themselves due to self-doubt, and as a result become passive and feel lonely.
The foundation of self-confidence is laid in infancy, develops in childhood, and settles into character with adolescence, affecting both the private life and career of the individual for a lifetime. Therefore, the problem of negative self-development is an important problem that must be overcome in childhood.
Causes of Lack of Self-Confidence in Children
The sense of self that an individual creates about himself is related to his experiences from infancy, how he copes with simple problems and how he fulfills his responsibilities. The most common causes of low self-esteem can be listed as follows.
- In infancy, basic needs such as not changing the diaper on time when she gets dirty or not being fed immediately when she is hungry are not being met on time and adequately.
- Comparing them with their peers in terms of both their academic success and social relationships.
- Underperforming and failing academically, artistically and socially.
- Setting unrealistic goals and as a result, failing to reach their goals.
- The family's expectation of success or pressure on the child to be successful.
- Growing up with an oppressive caregiver.
- A history of fragmented family, such as divorce or death of parents.
- Having unhappy and quarreling parents.
- Not taking responsibility as a child.
- Exposure to a punishing home environment or education.
- Lack of support for their abilities.
- The child does not have a personal space of his own.
- Not being given enough freedom and opportunities to make their own decisions.
- Exposure to peer or parent bullying.
- Changes, such as moving or changing schools.
- Mood disorders such as depression and anxiety.
- Ongoing health problems.
- Trauma and abuse.
Being exposed to one or more of the above situations, especially during infancy, childhood or adolescence, is the biggest obstacle for the individual to develop positive feelings about himself and to believe in himself.
What Are the Symptoms of a Lack of Self-Confidence?
While parents want to do the best for their children, they can sometimes overdo it and become the biggest obstacle to their child's personality development. By thinking that you are doing the child a favor unintentionally, you can do everything for him or her, and on top of that, you can prevent your child from feeling self-confident by having expectations, consciously or unintentionally. It is necessary to recognize the symptoms in order to realize that your child is entering into poor self-development. The following signs of low self-esteem in children will guide you through this process:
- Avoiding responsibility.
- Thinking that a given task will fail before it even starts.
- Giving up at the first mistake or failure.
- Feeling that you are not as good as other children.
- Don't be critical of yourself and be tough on yourself.
- The desire to be alone and isolated.
- Swaying between mood swings such as sadness, silence, outbursts of anger.
- Discontent with those around and a tendency to constantly criticize.
- Dislike of competition.
- A tendency for some children to cheat, blame, or lie because they are sure they will fail.
- Being introverted and shy. Being passive in friendships.
- He is very concerned with what other people think of him.
- Feeling ugly and unattractive.
- Resisting new things and change.
- Instead of being proud of his achievements, lamenting that he should have done better.
- "I can't do it anymore." “I am stupid.” "My fault." "I am ugly." "Nobody loves Me." Making similar negative sentences.
How to Fix Lack of Self-Confidence in Children?
If you see signs of negative self-perception in your child, you should immediately review your attitude, behavior and environmental conditions and try to understand the source of the problem. Then you should try methods that will help you to overcome the lack of self-confidence .
Help your child learn.
Learning is not just about being able to do something academically. Help your baby hold his spoon, put on your child's shoes or clothes, ride a bike. Support him in his ability to master an action. However, while doing this, pay attention to the developmental period or the level of competence of your child. Don't try to teach a child who is not learning to hold a pencil to draw a cat, or to button a cardigan to a child whose fine motor muscles are not well developed enough.
Reward his success, praise his effort.
Reward him when he fulfills a given responsibility or learns something new. However, be sincere and do not overdo it. Praising each and every behavior in an exaggerated way will make him feel inadequate instead of motivating.
Don't just focus on your achievements, praise your effort. Tried cycling but made no progress? The important thing is not that he succeeds, but that he tries, and that you appreciate him for trying will increase his motivation and encourage him to keep trying.
Do not criticize in a way that harms your core self.
Criticism, when done correctly, is one of the most important assistants that leads to success. Criticize him in a way that will help him improve the behavior in a positive way, not to criticize his mistakes or to emphasize his failure.
When your child, who is learning to write, writes without leaving any spaces between the words, “Is it ever written like this! Let's see if that's how it's written in the example shown?" Instead of saying, “ Wouldn't it look better if you take care to leave a space between your words?” Expressing it as such will encourage him to correct his mistake and prevent him from feeling like a failure.
Highlight your strengths.
Lack of self-confidence in children is exacerbated by failure. Therefore, you should highlight your child's strengths in which they can be successful. Instead of forcing your child who has a talent for painting to be successful at the piano, you should give him the opportunity to be interested in painting.
Be a good role model.
Parents are the most important factor in character development. Because the little ones take the elders as role models. According to them, everything he does is right because his parents are older. For this reason, in order for them to develop positive attitudes about themselves, their parents should be self-confident, take responsibility and be at peace with themselves.
As parents, if you see signs of lack of self-confidence in children and take steps to resolve them, but cannot turn negative emotions into positive ones, you should seek professional help immediately so that the situation does not leave lasting effects on the character. Thus, remember that you can resolve the problem as soon as possible by making changes in your child's attitudes and behaviors first.
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