L Word Nude
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L Word Nude
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Which are the best L Word sex scenes? It was only a matter of time before Autostraddle’s fate line would lead us to this moment when we were compelled by a force greater than ourselves to construct a list of every single one of The L Word sex scenes, and rank them. The list ensues below, and I’ve also made you a companion infographic!
Title of Infographic: The L Word, All 111 Sex Scenes, By The Numbers 01: L Word Sex Scenes By Character Shane – 27, Jenny – 26, Bette – 20, Tina – 16 Which Couples had them most L Word Sex Scenes? Bette & Tina – 10, Jenny & Nikki – 6, Alice & Tasha – 6, Shane & Carmen – 6 02: By Location Which sets got the most action? 1. Shane & Jennys, 2. Bette & Tina’s, 3. Alice’s. 03: By Attribute: Cheating – 25 Times, Getting Interrupted – 19 Times, One-Night/One-Day Stand – 16 Times, In Public – 16 Times
How We Ranked Them: I assembled a database of every L Word sex scene that involved queer characters in the main cast, and then invited the Autostraddle TV Team ( Heather , Kayla , Drew , Natalie and Carmen ) to assign each scene a score of 1-5, as well as offer any commentary they felt compelled to offer. Every team member was also permitted to give six (6) L Word sex scenes a ranking of “10.” The below rankings reflect the scored average of each scene.
The scene is played for comedy, but Dana’s lack of consent isn’t actually funny! At all!!!!! Tonya is the worst!!!
Natalie: “The pivot from “Where’d you go?” to resuming sex is so bizarre.”
This is Alice’s first and only sex scene in Season One. Sucks that it involved her pressuring Lisa into getting a blow job!
After learning Marina’s had a mean girlfriend named Francesca and is maybe a sex robot with no discernible personality besides low-key chaos energy delivered in a variety of European accents, Jenny returns to solid Tim to watch a Kung Fu movie and then jump his lil bones. Okay, ew!
Pour one out for all the lesbians who gathered together to watch the first-ever lesbian-focused program on American television and got to see Jenny and Tim have sex not once but twice in the two-hour pilot episode!!
Natalie: Gay panic; Also? Tim seems to have zero rhythm.
Apparently, Kit is SO heterosexual that her clit can tell the difference between a man’s tongue and a woman’s tongue and therefore Papi, the legendary lover of The Chart™, is unable to bring Kit to orgasm. Maybe it was the lighting. Or the fact that Papi, unaware that Kit is an alcoholic, has been unknowingly enabling Kit’s post-Angus-cheating bender.
Who needs DaddyOf2 when Tina’s got her very own Daddy of Two, Henry, and we get to watch him fuck her up against a wall!
Valerie: One single point because I understand the feeling of being confused by the feelings I was feeling about a woman and mistaking it for general horniness.
Mark derives immediate gratification from his heinous decision to hang secret cameras all over the apartment he shares with two lesbians, one of whom he is obsessed with.
Carmen: It really should only be one point, but I gave it an extra bonus point for how SHOCKED I felt when I first watched this scene as a baby gay.
“It’s perfectly natural!” declares Helena when Tina’s shocked to have their morning foreplay interrupted by two tiny human beings whose interests including fort-building and playing doctor on Tina’s belly. Our feeling about this L Word Sex Scene is…. YIKES!
There is probably… a lot of germs… on that money?
There are probably better ways to handle a breakup with a person who still lives with you than to invite your new lover over and then proceed to have food-related sex on the kitchen floor followed by kinky sex in your bedroom with the door open!
As L Word scenes go, this one is basically perfect. The sex — not so much!
After Cherie Jaffe, every girlfriend Shane ever had was released from the show with a brutal blow — leaving Carmen at the altar, coldly pushing Molly away on Phyllis’ orders… and, as pictured above, somehow feeling the irrepressible urge to fuck a real estate agent while looking at houses with Paige.
Natalie: “It’s six months later and I’m still waiting for it to close.”
Valerie: “Plus points for raw/realness, minus points for sadness.”
A classic reality TV show move: introducing a sexy stranger to get it on with a lead cast member. Only problem here is that nobody told Shane she was on a reality TV show.
Intercutting this L Word sex scene with Bette and Tina’s dance performance was unforgivable.
After bowing down to the sperm and honoring its precious monumental importance in the human lifecycle, they get down and dirty to prep Tina’s reproductive system for a little reproductive action!
Hot sex scene, but Jenny’s also deliberately playing with Nikki’s feelings, which is… less hot.
Jenny unlocks Lesbian Level Two: having successful sex with a woman besides Marina.
Wow, so weird how everybody on the team is wrong about this scene except me and therefore it ranked really low???
Perhaps it was the part just afterwards where Jenny wants to set up her writing station in the light and Marina informs her that sorry, her previously unmentioned long-term girlfriend is coming home today!
Drew: This is a really shitty moment that starts off promising! Grace’s refusal to listen to Max is so disheartening.
After they’re done the bridesmaid starts crying and also wants to be seen with Shane to make her ex jealous, which is a real moment for Shane!
Two thin naked women in fancy chairs in a large hotel suite. There you go.
And this, ladies and gentlepeople, is how Shane broke Jenny’s heart.
Tina takes a big step by going on one date with somebody who isn’t Bette! But the sex scene is… awkward. For them and for us!
Don’t munch and drive, kids!! You might run out of gas just as you’re about to come!
Cheers to Helena for finding something fun to do in prison!
Jenny finds lust in the heartland with Max (then-presenting as Moira, a butch lesbian) and takes her new pal home with her only to be interrupted by her homophobic parents. YIKES.
Gets points from me for being one of the few distinctly kinky sex scenes on this very long show.
Valerie: I can’t get behind Jenny/Carmen so I can’t get behind this scene. I CAN get behind the way Sarah Shahi talks about it in interviews, though.
Natalie: Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Drew: It’s really too bad this is the context Alice and Lara have sex.
Kayla: Sorry to say once again that I like sad sex.
Drew: Gender neutral bathrooms: Better for trans people AND for baby gay drama.
Valerie: Love good sneaky bathroom sex but also maybe just break up with your boyfriend at this point.
Kayla: Sorry I also like bathroom fucks.
Natalie: Who has sex in someone else’s pool?
Valerie: Again, points for the pilot, and also just because I remember this scene so vividly from the first time I watched it from deep in the closet and under my college bedspread.
Kayla: Controversial, but I like pool sex.
Drew: Billie is so casually affirming and I find this scene really touching. Every trans person deserves to have sex with Alan Cumming when they’re first figuring things out.
Natalie: You missed Sleater Kinney for this?
Drew: Jenny is revealing so many red flags, but any trans person will tell you being fetishized doesn’t necessarily make a moment not hot! I hate myself.
The potential hotness of this scene is underscored by the creeping awareness that there’s a reason Dylan’s asking Helena to say what she’s asking Helena to say and the choice to record it.
Carmen: Helena is almost hilariously focused when it comes to her “public sex” kink.
Natalie: Can they ever have sex without being interrupted?
Shane’s sex strike lasted for almost two entire episodes, but she couldn’t resist the siren song of a threesome with Dawn Denbo and Her Lover Cindy.
Listen guys it’s fine, Jenny un-fired the male actor Nikki slept with and it’s okay they love each other and will have sex right on that bed right there on set!
Drew: Another really tender and affirming sex scene between Max and Billie. Because it gets so bad I sometimes forget how shockingly good some of this early Max stuff is.
Drew: There are so many reasons this scene shouldn’t do it for me, and yet!
Valerie: Lost points for how it ended but the scene up til then was a delight.
Jenny and Carmen discover their first shared interest (besides Shane): rough sex.
Not only was this event fun for Nikki and Jenny, it was also fun for the horny PA who heard it all go down on his headset.
Ah, Harry Potter and his dashing maid are at it again! But who’s a-knocking at the castle door? Could it be Howie, the not gay (GAY) brother in town just in time for Pride? Only one way to find out… but don’t forget to bring your feather duster!
Public sex intercut with horse-racing footage, concluded with an orgasm and a significant monetary loss. Who could ask for anything more?
Natalie: I’d be ranking these Helena scenes higher if they were with anyone but Tina.
Carmen: Gave it a bonus point because damn I love a good post-sex mouth wipe.
Kayla: MOUTH! WIPE!
After Bette’s college pal Kelly turns up for one of many weak Season Six storylines, Tina feels suddenly inspired to fuck Bette. No complaints here.
Natalie: Extra points for the public nature of it; THAT is how you endear yourself to the friend group.
Valerie: I want to hate this because my college roommate used to have sex with her boyfriend when she thought I was asleep all the time, but also the puppy love aspect of it is too cute to be mad about it.
Kayla: I will just say that something very similar has happened to me
Nobody does an emotionally complex sex scene like Jennifer Beals.
Carmen: I would’ve given it a three, because it’s sad? But I have Jennifer Beals’ and Marlee Matlin’s face burned into my memory, so.
Mere hours after informing Helena that she is 100% straight and what happened between them will definitely never happen again, Dylan returns because she obviously wants… everything that happened between them to happen again.
Shane cheated on Carmen, so Carmen went ahead and cheated on Shane, and Carmen would like to start again with a clean slate. The first thing she would like to do on that clean slate is have sex with Shane. A clock in the corner reminds us that SOMEONE else is running out of time.
Carmen: The “every time I look at you, I feel so dismantled” is a gut punch to anyone who’s ever fallen in love with a woman for the first time.
Two queer actresses down to get completely naked and fuck in multiple positions: We love to see it. The bizarre intercut fantasy sequence in which Shane looks like a little boy playing dress-up in his Dad’s closet and Paige looks like a unforgivably hot housewife: We feel… fine to see it.
Natalie: Short but adventurous.
Kayla: Hair salons are erotic, so.
Valerie: When I first saw Dylan’s name, the first thing I thought of was a knife, so obviously this scene stuck with me.
Kayla: Pretty sure knife-play is my brand.
Carmen: Marina’s only shinning 30 seconds of glory is when she shoulder checks Tim on her way out the shed (I lied, she has one other fleeting moment of glory — later in the same season when she tells Tim, “You were there. You know how much it counted.” Boss bitch moves.)
Kayla: In general I don’t think Marina and Jenny have that much chemistry when they’re actually fucking, only like the 10 seconds before?
Valerie: Two points for the sex, two points for Marina no breaking eye contact with Tim as she leaves.
Having full sex on a white leather couch with somebody you’ve just had a threesome with, underneath a gigantic photograph of you and your girlfriend is A MOVE.
After five episodes of erratic Boss Bitch Jenny, she softens right up and puts right out after slipping into the closet with Nikki, a giddy ingenue, and together they’re all giggling and moaning and soft hair and naked backs against racks of shirts. Everything feels light and possible.
Kayla: Always love morning sex scenes.
Molly’s breaking all the rules ’cause she doesn’t know any — pointing out that Shane’s wet and has boobs just like her, yammering about Richard’s incorrect opinions on the proportionality of her body, asking if she’s doing it right, getting nervous to try, letting Shane teach her again. In return, Shane is softhearted and amused and along for the ride — until Phyllis shows up, of course.
Carmen: Wow it turns out I really am a Bette/Candace fan.
Kayla: Love to fuck on the clock.
Natalie: Bette getting topped is my favorite thing.
Valerie: This got less exciting as time went on.
Cherie Jaffe says she’s looking for something a little more this time and wow, in that moment my entire life changed?
Natalie: The just fucked look definitely works for her.
Dan Foxworthy declared them incompatible and so they went straight into the parking garage and fucked. COMPATIBLY, DAN.
Molly’s ready for her AP test, but Shane’s tent is deemed an inadequate testing environment. Luckily, Molly negotiates their way into a shack of some sort and the scene is quiet — just breathing, no music, and Shane surrendering while not seeming entirely sure why.
Carmen: It’s just really sweet and domestic, ok? IDK, I love it and I love them.
Nikki doesn’t wanna work, she just wants to fuck over lunch all day!
Alice looks for Papi, legendary Chart hub, all over Los Angeles — and is VERY pleased to find her.
Drew: When Alice grabs the seatbelt!
Sadé is on, there is cuddling and candles and the most intense orgasm Tina’s ever had and at some point Bette says she’d like to get married when they get to New York. It is a brief respite from an episode I frequently describe as the worst episode of television I’ve ever seen.
Carmen: (Full Confession: I actually really like this scene and find it very hot, but I had to subtract a point because they were both thinking about someone else the entire time.)
The best part of waking up is Jodi telling Bette “I want to be inside you”
Helena is crying and fucking and everything is too much. She is so lovely and so sad. She says she’s scared. Dylan says she’s scared too. Oddly-chosen furniture obscures our view, similarly oddly-chosen background noise obscures our ears. But they sex on.
Bette does that thing to Tina, you know? Where you push someone’s hair back and look at them in the eyes and you’re like: “Hey, you . you. oh, you.” Not out loud, but you say it with your eyes. One thing they do say out loud, though? “It doesn’t really compare.”
If you’ve only seen this scene on Netflix and not on the DVDs with the actual original music, you have done your baby gay self a disservice!
Kayla: Sex at book club should happen in like 65% of fanfics.
Valerie: I was into Jenny/Marina in these early episodes an embarrassing amount.
Carmen: This is such a boss move and I love Helena for it.
Valerie: I know that technically this is a terrible idea but also I fell pretty hard for (some versions of) Helena.
Kayla: I’m not saying this is technically a porn category I watch, but actually yes that is what I am saying.
Drew: WOULD IT BE WRONG!
Carmen: It’s pretty hot for car sex, and I have to hold it down for my Grey’s Anatomy Stans and give a bonus point to the Shane McCutcheon of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital herself, Dr. Arizona Robbins.
Kayla: I’m maybe too into this one.
Carmen: BETTE GETTING TOPPED WILL ALWAYS GET A FIVE FROM ME! Those are the rules!
Natalie: Bette getting topped is everything I never knew I always wanted.
Kayla: Cheating is bad… Bette getting topped is good.
Natalie: You know what never leads to sex? Conversations about how your dad died.
Valerie: I don’t care what anyone says, I love this scene so much, even though the dialogue barely makes sense and the music is just saying their names and the word “fucking” over and over. This scene might have been the very moment I realized that there was no escaping how gay I was.
The moment — that moment where the buildup reaches capacity and those proverbial sparks explode into something you can feel in your fingertips — that first moment we’re all banking on when we chase something we’re not certain we can have — that is a moment in which you are perhaps at your most alive, your most alert, when the air between you becomes smaller and smaller, the future inevitable but still undetermined. That’s the moment in which Shane leans (Jordan Catalano leans on things, Shane leans into girls), and then they start to kiss, and then they’re FUCKING ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE HELL YEAH.
Drew: Imagine Bette Porter picking you up in a bar. Imagine Bette Porter bringing you back to her hotel room. Imagine Bette Porter kissing you, flashing a smile, turning you around, and — okay I’m gonna stop.
Natalie: “It’ll do.”
Kayla: I like pool sex and I like pregnancy!!!!!!
Kayla: The emotions at play here feel very real.
After everything — after the carpenter, despite Helena — their hands find each other’s mouths and Bette’s mouth finds Tina’s stomach and they find the familiar ways they used to fuck but now it’s different, now Tina is in her body. “She didn’t feel like mine anymore,” Bette tells her therapist later, and that’s maybe her first step towards making sex like that possible forever.
Drew: Bette and Alice is my dream ship and while my dreams never fully came true in the original series, we did get this one beautiful moment.
Kayla: SEX AT THE OPERA SHOULD BE A PORN CATEGORY.
Valerie: One point for the location/boldness of it, one point for Jennifer Beals in general, zero points for the pairing.
Some viewers (like me) consider this one of the rawest, most authentic sex scenes ever on television — what Tina conceives as possible has just been blown open by betrayal and uncertainty, and what Bette conceives as possible has just been blown open by the possibility of Tina lea
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