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Kristen First Time
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When My Little Sister Wants to Play 'Doctor'
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My sister is 10 years old, and we all try to encourage her to use her imagination and play. In this day and age, I feel like sometimes everyone (including kids) are too busy looking at screens for entertainment instead of entertaining themselves. I try to explain to her that I wish I felt like doing all the things she can, but having chronic fatigue syndrome leaves me very limited.
Naturally, she wants to play games and do things with me. We might play a game on the card table, where I can lay in the chair on the heating pad. She plays restaurant and brings me food. She made her own menu and everything. Then we swap roles and I bring her fake food.
However, after we were done playing restaurant, she wanted to play doctor. This may sound silly, possibly petty or even me just being plain sensitive. I told her alright, we can play that. She asks me why I am there, and of course, playing doctor is no fun if there is nothing wrong with you. Right? It makes sense for a kid to want to have something wrong with the other. That is what playing doctor is anyway.
I just kept hoping she would not bring up my illness. She had done it in the past. She had asked why I was there and even had a cure for it. I wish she did, I guess she wished so too. I had to explain to her over and over how it works. Do I expect her to perfectly understand? Of course not. But it sometimes seems like she does not believe me.
In the end, all she did was say I had strep throat. She then “removed” my tonsils later.
Every time she asks if I want to play doctor, my stomach drops. I am sick of doctors. I am sick of going to doctors with all sorts of things wrong with me and being told there is either nothing they can do or they do not believe me.
I hate that I am this way, and I hate that the very thought of playing doctor fills me with such dread and fear.
I hate that I am 22 years old, and I have enough diagnoses on my chart that it takes up many pages.
I hate that the smallest thing like this triggers all these emotions. I hate explaining it, so I typically don’t.
When my younger sister wants to play doctor, I do. I play with her. I swallow these emotions, because the last thing I need to do is make her feel like she needs to walk on eggshells.
I try my best to not let everything affect me personally, like when people that say, “if you do not have a wheelchair, you should not use the handicap parking.”
It’s those who refuse to believe someone as young as me can relate on a personal level to my grandmother and have numerous health problems.
It’s those using my illness as a joke or a fake reason not to have a job.
It’s those people who direct something at one population, and yet I get offended.
I feel like ableism is real, but I also feel I need to remember not everyone is aware. I was not aware til I got sick at 19. I was not aware of the world of chronic illness.
Educate those around you. Spread awareness not just for the illness you personally have, but the whole spoonie world.
We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor .
CFS/ME, Fibromyalgia, and Scoliosis. Possibly IBS. Depression. Married, 24. Taurus and INFJ. Demi.
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Here Are Some of the Stories You Shared.
When I was at a football game in fifth grade, two boys who were 3 years older than us thought it was funny to pin my friend and I down to the ground and threaten us with lewd and suggestive remarks. We felt helpless and alone. When they finally let us go we ran for the bathroom because that was the one place we knew they couldn't follow.
I can't imagine what we would have done if we felt even there was unsafe. We didn't even hesitate we both ran like our lives were at stake and that was the only protection.
My children and I were on the return trip gone after visiting family several states away. We were traveling through Colorado and I needed to stop for gas and a restroom break. My son was in and out quickly, but my 3 daughters and I only had 2 stalls in the ladies room, one of which was already occupied. I noticed the person there had some large, rugged looking shoes on. I thought maybe it was a larger woman, who was also talking a long time taking care of her business. I was never more wrong. The person who was in the stall next to my 12 year old daughter was a fully bearded, middle aged man! I was shocked, and completely appalled. I told him this was the women's restroom end he scurried out quickly. Just thinking about how close this man was, next to my daughter in a vulnerable, half undressed state makes me shake with fury. The fact that my 16 year old son was able to get in and out tells me there was no problem with the facilities for men, it was this man's choice to invade our privacy.
Cindy in Minnesota I first heard of a boy in the girls locker room when picking my son up after school. He was late getting good to the car so I asked him why. He was visible shaken and angry and said a boy went into the locker room and changed for basketball practise. My son's girlfriend was in the lockerroom. Her and several other girls ran to another location half dressed and he made sure they made it okay.
I called the school several times several people and the response was the boy could be in there. I went to the police nothing was done. No one asked the girls if they liked this or were okay with this. As a mom of a girl no one asked me if it was okay for my daughter to change and shower with boys in school.
The thought of men using the bathroom where I would need it is a fearful thing. I care about the possibility to children being hurt but also seniors. How easy it would to be for a senior who is not so strong or maybe even feeble to be overpowered by a man to steal her purse or worse.
Tiffany in South Carolina Now that men can come into women's bathrooms I have experienced them in beach access and public bathrooms where we are supposed to have privacy. My fiancé's little girl came into the women's bathroom with me. Upon entering there was a man in there and we both exited the restroom immediately. I had to guard my fiancé's little 7 year old to get her to go back into the bathroom at all. She was afraid and wanted to know why the man was in there. When we asked him why he was there & told him he scared the little girl he said I can go into any bathroom I want since the new laws. My thoughts are if they want to pass these kind of laws that traumatize children; then at home they should be required to let their children in the bathroom with the opposite sex parent or sibling too and it should be a comfortable situation for them to let the female children see their father naked as well as male children see their mother naked even after puberty. Any red blooded person can see that this is wrong and is opening the door to sexual issues, gender confusion, pedophiles, incest, molestation & rape. This is wrong on every level. Women should have only women in restrooms, locker rooms, showers & men should have only men. We are opening our country up to huge sexual problems at home and in public & degrading our society to mere animals.
My husband is a teacher of Physical Education. He was shocked when school began last year and he found out he had a female who identifies as male in his class. She wanted full access to the male locker rooms. Because of our state law, she was granted the rights to use them. Any boys in the class had the right to change elsewhere. My husband, as the teacher, was not given the right to leave the presence of female anatomy changing in his locker room. He appealed to his principal for help and was denied. She said it would be discriminatory for him to be released of his locker room duty because of her presence. So he appealed to the Superintendent. She also denied him any accommodations. In fact, when he asked if she could guarantee he would not be exposed to female anatomy in his locker room she kicked him out of her office immediately. He appealed to the union rep for help with the denials from his administrators. The union rep said he could not help because they only work on contract issues. So my husband took the next step and appealed to the Civil Rights Compliance Officer of the school, who is also the assistant Superintendent. He cited a civil rights violation since no one was willing to give him a religious accommodation for locker room supervision. By law he is entitled to an accommodation so long as it does not cause undue hardship on the employer. He suggested someone else monitor the locker room during this particular class period. He also came up with a new locker room policy that allows teachers to monitor the locker room just outside the doors, but does not require them to go IN the locker rooms where transgender students are changing. These were all reasonable accommodations that did not require any additional finances on the part of the school. (He did NOT ask for a remodel of the locker room with separate changing stalls for each student. That would be undue hardship!) The CRCO found no wrong-doing and told him he could position himself in such a way as to not see the student disrobing, and no religious accommodation was needed. In my husband's pursuit of holiness, to avoid being in the presence of people of the opposite gender disrobing, showering, or dressing, he was denied. We appealed to the BOE for a private hearing in executive session. They denied a hearing through a certified letter. We were beside ourselves! Isn't it just smart to allow a man to leave a locker room at his request when MINOR biological females are disrobing?
Since we had exhausted all avenues of appeals through the BOE we decided to seek help through the federal government's Commission on Human Rights and Opportunities and/ or the EEOC. We filed a grievance in October and finally had a meeting with a mediator in April. My husband shared his side of the story with the mediator and presented his proposal of a new locker room policy that would be "safe" for all students and teachers and staff. It was not until September that we met again. This time all three administrators were present at the meeting. They had no interest in compromise or negotiations and were not willing to budge. They reiterated that no religious accommodation was necessary. In the words of the mediator, "This meeting was pointless." We are beside ourselves with amazement and disgust. Nobody asked me if it is ok for my husband to be supervising a teenage biological female disrobing and possibly showering in his locker room. In fact, they told him he had to! Nobody asked the other boys' parents if they were ok with a biological female changing in their son's presence, or if they were ok with a biological female seeing their under age sons disrobing.
I am a substitute teacher. I frequently substitute for gym classes in small schools. Because we lack financial resources, our schools commonly lack supervision of locker rooms of the opposite sex of the teacher, especially when the substitute is of the opposite sex of the regular teacher. Sometimes a high school boy monitors the Jr. high locker room, sometimes the janitor supervises, but often I simply have to stand at the open door and try to listen to what is going on. At the high school we just hope the kids have more maturity and will behave themselves. We have a Jr. high student who has decided that she is transgender. She is shapely and beautiful. There is no way that I can protect her while she is in the boys' locker room. I cannot stand in there while the young men are dressing, it would be totally inappropriate and it would put me at risk as well. In Oregon transgender is a protected class and the State Education Department has joined the federal government in threatening the funding of schools who do not comply with the bizarre order to let kids chose which gender they want to be for the day. I am deeply concerned about the safety of all my students, especially the confused ones.
I have a teen son with autism. When I told him that he may be exposed to girls in the boys bathrooms and locker rooms at his high school, his immediate reaction was, "Noo!!!" He wants to treat women with respect. He wants to be able to focus on his schoolwork and not be distracted by thoughts and feelings that have no place in a public place. But he knows that he will have a tough time, even more tough than the average teen male. You see, people with autism have brain chemistry differences. People without autism have a chemical barrier in their brain that requires them to choose which outside stimuli they will allow to affect their conscious self. Of course some stimuli are so intense that they automatically break the barrier, but in general, a normal person gets decide what visual images or sounds to dwell on. A person with autism has a faulty chemical barrier in their brain. Instead of having the luxury of choosing which stimuli to let in, while automatically rejecting all of the other stimuli, the person with autism must actively work to reject certain stimuli, but is affected by all stimuli at first. My son will do the right thing by women, but it is going to greatly harm his psyche and make it nearly impossible for him to concentrate on his schoolwork. Because he has a diagnosed, recognized disorder, I am going to be able to request special treatment for him, at least as it relates to the locker room. But my heart goes out to all of the other boys who want to remain pure in their thoughts who will be put to unfair tests at public schools - a place where they are supposed to be safe. I am also concerned for my teen daughter.
After being molested as a child and then almost raped by a friend, I have flashbacks and am terrified to be in a bathroom with a male, and I would never trust a strange man! with a young girl! I will stand up with you and let our voices be heard! Thank you & Lord Gods blessings on you!
Like many Americans, I was shocked to learn the Obama administration had sent a “Dear Colleague” letter to our nation’s schools threatening them with loss of federal funds unless they adopt radical new gender identity policies.
I started calling my federal, state, and local representatives to see where they stood on the issue and to urge them to fight against Obama’s edict. I even met with my daughter’s vice principal to express concern.
But what I found dismayed me. People were being bullied into silence by the threats from the federal government and LGBT activists. And I was saddened by how few people in the general public really knew what was really going on today in our nation’s schools.
Let me be clear: It is not transgender persons who I am concerned about hurting my children. Instead, I’m concerned about those who will abuse these new policies.
Some might consider me just a mom, but it’s a title I wear with pride: I believe it’s the most important job I will ever have. But that title also gives me a certain credibility when it comes to protecting children, because I know the dreams and fears that only parents can have for their kids.
As parents, we have the privilege and duty to educate and protect our children so that they can lead our nation on to further greatness when it’s their turn to do so. Until that time, I will boldly stand up to ensure the safety, security, and privacy of my children and yours so that together we all can stand united, safe, and free.
Mark in Kansas The "Letter of Guidance" handed down by the Federal BOE and DOJ on May 13th this year seemed like a distant problem that was not concerning until our local school district leadership jumped on board to accommodate in a matter of 3 days. What? How? Why? We have 5 children that were in our district school system this past year. We yearned to be involved and to make a positive difference but now everything has changed. We have 3 daughters in this system and we are concerned for their well being. If nothing else as a father I am a protector. I cannot in good consciousness lead my girls into an environment where there is now opportunity for their innocence to be taken. We feel as parents our right to privacy, even though we are in the majority, has been taken from our daughters. We feel as citizens the federal government has overstepped it's authority and is manipulating local school districts. We have rallied like minded parents in the community and are in the process of petitioning our local leaders to reverse their mis-guided decision.
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