Kneeling Bondage

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Kneeling Bondage
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When you hear the word “punishment,” sex probably isn't the first thing that comes to mind. But in BDSM —an umbrella term that encompasses bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism, and masochism—punishment can be a major component of sex. And a pleasurable one, at that.
“Punishment is a behavior modification tool used in some [dominant/submissive] dynamics to train or discipline a submissive when they’ve defied a boundary or disobeyed an order,” explains Charyn Pfeuffer, a sex and relationships writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating . “There’s no one-size-fits-all playbook for punishment, and not every kinky relationship uses it.”
Every couple is free to determine the type and severity of punishments they want to use—and the options are essentially endless. For example, if the submissive partner is a "brat" (a sub who enjoys disobeying their dom’s rules), a dom might give you a spanking as a punishment for being naughty.
“Punishment can include spankings, slapping, choking, use of restraints, or (consensually) forcing your partner into sexual acts," says Daniel Saynt, founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness , a private members Open Love club for the adventurous. "It's really up to you and your partner to set the limits of what's okay for punishment and what's not.”
Like with most deliciously kinky things, punishment is not just about pain, but also pleasure. It’s a dance between the dom and sub that allows them to explore sides of themselves they may not get a chance to express in real life.
“Sexual punishment is when you know there is a part of you that is under-expressed, maybe from shame or fear,” says Kenneth Play , international sex educator and and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series . “So, if you feel like you’re being a dirty slut, being punished by your partner allows you to live out that feeling, while also enjoying your 'dirty slut' side.”
IMPORTANT: Before you engage in any BDSM punishments, you and your partner must thoroughly discuss your boundaries and limits beforehand. Despite the connotation of punishing someone, the activity still requires enthusiastic consent from all parties; the punished wants to be punished, and the punisher wants to punish.
This is where you bring someone to the brink of orgasm, only to stop touching them right before orgasm. Oh, the sweet agony.
Put them over your knee and show them what happens to naughty people who break the rules. Just remember to aim for the fleshy parts of the body, such as the butt cheeks and upper thighs.
Or, you could deny them a spanking. “Sometimes a submissive will ‘act out’ to get the punishment that they really enjoy," says Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop. "One way to punish them is to NOT give them what they enjoy."
Force your sub to agree to keep their pretty little mouth shut. You can go a step further by not allowing your submissive to speak while in a public place without asking permission first.
This would be cruel outside of a consenting dom/sub dynamic, but hot as hell if both parties are into it. “[This entails] getting your submissive dressed up for an event that they really enjoy, but upon arrival making them sit outside on the ground with their hands in their lap and not allow them to come into the event for a specific amount of time,” Sparks says.
Make your submissive walk on all fours with a collar and a leash like a dog. You can incorporate a dog mask designed for kink, like this one , and even take the act outside for the public humiliation factor.
This is a form of public degradation: You make your submissive wear a shirt that literally says "slut" on it.
“Chain your partner to the bed and leave them there to wait for your return,” Saynt says. “Leave your home and decide how long you want to make them wait for you. Come back to them begging you to set them free.” Oh, the fun that can ensue afterward!
This is when you "make" your partner "take" the pleasure, even if it feels like over-stimulation. “Force your partner to have orgasms until they are completely overwhelmed—then keep going,” Play says.
This is when the dom has sex with someone else and forces the sub to watch. Cuckolding is a more advanced activity, and we suggest doing your research before bringing a new person into the bedroom. For a slightly tamer version, the dominant partner can make the submissive watch them get off with a toy.
“Refuse to let your partner pleasure you and make them beg for a taste," Saynt suggests. "Come within a few inches of their mouth, watch their tongue slip out and get just close enough but not quite there. Make your body their prize and make the longing for it the punishment.”
“Grab ice cubes and use them to run along your partner's body while they are restrained,” Saynt says. “Use the ice to stimulate their body and offer a chilling experience.” This can go really well with a blindfold—that way the sub’s other senses, including touch, are heightened.
“What chore(s) does your sub hate doing? Make them do it—meticulously,” Pfeuffer suggests. What better excuse to not have to do the dishes tonight?
If your sub is naughty, take away their table privileges and force them to eat off the floor like a dog.
Tell your sub to get on all fours and act as a stool for you to rest your feet. Dive into a good book and force them to stay still until you’re good and ready to let them get up.
Is your sub being a little brat? “Put your submissive in the corner for a time-out,” Pfeuffer says. “Being ‘grounded’ for a little while can be incredibly effective” in getting them to follow your rules next time.
Dribble hot wax on a naughty sub’s body. Be sure you’re using a body-safe candle (like these from LoveHoney ), unless you really know what you’re doing. You don’t want to cause burns.
“Only allow your sub to pleasure themselves with your permission," Pfeuffer says. "If rules are broken, that permission is revoked." This means you hold the power over whether they experience pleasure or not; their pleasure is a gift you’re allowing them to enjoy in return for good behavior.
Have your sub go to the grocery store, the dry cleaners, or some other ordinary place while wearing a panty vibrator. You can accompany them, if you choose. We love the We-Vibe Moxie , which comes with its own remote for the dom to control.
If your sub breaks the rules, write what they did wrong on their body in permanent marker. Make them wear it around all day so they don’t forget how naughty they were.
Have your sub sit in the shower or bathtub and pee on them. This kind of humiliation play can get messy, so you might want to do it in the nude.
This is a form of “restrictive discipline,” much like giving your sub a “time out” in the corner. If they break the rules, take away something they enjoy as punishment. This could be access to the show they want to watch, their cell phone, or even an orgasm.
This one is taken right out of the old Catholic school playbook. If your sub does something they’re not supposed to, have them write out what they did a hundred times as punishment.
Have your sub wear a collar around. This shows them that they belong to you and you are in control. If you want ideas, we love this one .

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Sabrina is an editorial assistant for Women’s Health.


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Do you own a scarf? Then you’re ready.
If you're looking for a surefire way to spice things up in the bedroom, your mind might jump to handcuffs. But I'll do you one better: Try using rope.
ICYDK, if you're looking to dip a toe into kink , bondage is a great place to start. Most of the tools you need to fulfill your BDSM fantasies are lying around your house already. But, before you grab the nearest bandana and strap your partner to a kitchen chair, there are a few things you should know.
Establishing how to approach rope bondage might be an intimidating process if you've never tried it. Before you and your partner get into it, many experts suggest it’s a good idea to agree on your desired roles and boundaries. For example, figure out whether you'd rather be the dominant partner who takes on more leadership and control, or would you rather be the submissive one, who prefers to give up that control to their partner.
You should also talk to your partner about what you do/don't want done to you, how much pressure you’re into, and what safe word will signal when one of you has had enough.
If this isn’t your first time incorporating BDSM into your partnership, then this process might be second nature to you. But either way, preparation beforehand is always necessary. Here’s a few things to keep in mind before getting started.
Research is a must if it’s your first time using rope. Get familiar with what positions you want to try out and how to execute them properly. There are plenty of websites you can check out dedicated to explaining rope play. Elle Chase , CSE, ACS, a certified sex educator, recommends Remedial Ropes as a good place to start learning. Doing sufficient research will give you a better sense of where to tie, how tight, etc., says Chase.
If you’re interested in trying rope play or any other form of BDSM, consent should be an ongoing conversation. "Consent, communication, and trust are essential for a strong relationship—sexual or otherwise," says Chase. "Incorporating consensual bondage into sex play builds and fortifies essential trust between partners, and requires that communication be deft and clear."
Aside from doing your own research, there are also classes and workshops you can attend to get some real hands-on experience, says Francesca Gentille , PhD, clinical sexologist and professor at the International Institute of Clinical Sexology. Rope bondage is never risk-free as there is the possibility for nerve damage amongst other things, so it’s best for all participants to familiarize themselves with any safety issues that can pop up during practice. "Think R.A.C.K. (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)," says Gentille.
With safety being the priority, it doesn’t hurt to create some sort of escape plan in the event of an emergency. A good option is keeping the ties that bind the wrists and ankles loose until you get comfortable, says Chase. As you get better with the ties and make them tighter, you can also have a pair of safety scissors handy just in case, adds Gentile.
If executed correctly and with caution, a strong bond of trust can be formed between you and your partner. " When the rope tier, rigger, or dominant listens well, notices beautifully, and attunes to the one being tied, there is a sense of growing intimacy, anticipation, and arousal," say Gentille.
Aftercare is always needed after a scene and is usually negotiated before you start a scene. The purpose of aftercare is to make sure both participants level out mentally and physically. For scenes that can be physically depleting, Gentille recommends a blanket, snacks, and a bottle of water. She also adds that it’s a good idea to check in with your partner a few days after to see if anything other thoughts or feelings have come up. “Aftercare (done well), both immediately after a scene or session, and days later, is an opportunity to deepen your relationship, build trust, and hold space for any triggers and healing,” says Gentille. “If not handled well the opposite can happen. [You] can break trust or rewound and trigger feelings of abandonment [in your partner].”
Once the specifics are out of the way, then it's finally time to play. If you don't have any rope casually laying around your home, don’t worry. Plenty of other household items, like a scarf or a tie, can serve as great alternatives. Whatever tool you've got on hand, get ready to explore these 18 best bondage positions:
How to: Missionary is the easiest possible position for beginner bondage. Simply lie on your back with your arms above your head and your legs spread, then have your partner bind your wrists and ankles to the bed frame.
Licensed sex therapist Vanessa Marin recommended Sportsheets’ under-the-bed restraint system ($29, amazon.com ) in a previous interview with Women's Health , because its velcro cuffs are easily removable for a quick escape if/when you decide you no longer want to be bound.
How to: Have your partner lie on their back and bind their wrists and ankles, either together or to the bed frame, with a silk scarf, a tie, or heck, even your own underwear. Once they’re adequately restrained, straddle them facing forward or away, whichever you prefer.
Because they’re tied down, you can switch it up as often as you see fit—playing with your clit, or maybe pulsing a bullet vibe on your partner's perineum, nipples, or clit (try the Tenga Iroha Stick, $20, amazon.com ). Basically, you get to do whatever you want—you’re in charge.
Whether you opt for standard or reverse cowgirl, woman-on-top positions provide a perfect opportunity for you to take complete control.
How to: Lie with your stomach flat on the mattress (or wherever you’re going to be having sex) and have your partner bind your wrists together over your head. Maybe have them blindfold you , too, because why the hell not?
Then, have them lift your hips to enter you from behind, keeping your shoulders down and your knees rooted while he (or she) thrusts.
How to: Bend over and have your partner bind your wrists to your ankles, with your feet anchored shoulder-width apart for better balance.
Have your partner enter you from behind, keeping their hands on your hips to make sure you don’t topple over. Try a hands-free couples vibrator, like the Eva II ($135), for added clitoral stimulation.
How to: Lie down with your back flush to the mattress and then lift your hips into the air, as if you were doing a bridge in yoga. Then, have your partner bind your wrists behind your back and grab your butt, so you can wrap your legs around their waist as they thrust. (This one is like the leap frog, but in reverse.)
How to: For this one, grab a sturdy chair and park your partner’s butt in it. Then, tie their wrists and ankles to the frame, and once they’re ready to go—after a little oral sex , maybe—straddle them and pump up and down. Whether you face them or turn away is entirely up to you.
How to: First, grab two ties, one for your eyes and one for your wrists. Have your partner blindfold you and bind your wrists in front of you, so they hang down by your hips. Once you’re all tied up, they can take the reins in foreplay, before rolling you onto your side and entering you from behind. As they rock into you, they can surprise you with nipple tweaks and strokes, keeping stimulation on your clit. The best part: You get to lie back and enjoy the feels.
A big part of what makes spoon sex such a winner: Easy access to the clit and nips.
How to: Have your partner kneel and sit back on their legs. Loosely bind their wrists together behind their back and sit with your back facing your partner's front. From there, straddle your partner's thighs, bending your knees so that your legs are alongside your partners. Your partner can then use their hips to thrust, without using their arms or legs.
How to: Have your partner sit in an armless chair with their ankles loosely bound together and their wrist tied together behind the back of the chair. Face your partner and straddle their lap. For extra leverage, hold onto your partner's shoulders while you ride.
How to: To best introduce bondage in a knees-to-chest position, have your partner bind your ankles and calves together. Then, while you’re lying on your back, drape your legs over his shoulder as your partner penetrates you. You can also make use of those restraints or even cuffs, and have your partner bind your wrists above your head.
How to: For this one, assume roughly the same position as leap frog, but have your partner handcuff your wrists behind your back and spread your legs. They should kneel between your legs and enter you from behind while your body is flat against the mattress, ground, kitchen table, wherever. Then, have them reach a hand around to stroke your clitoris —because to neglect it would be very rude indeed.
How to: Lying on your back with your legs spread wide, have your partner straddle you while facing your toes. Once they’re situated, wrap your legs around their waist and tip your pelvis up, allowing them to slide back and enter you.
Then, grab your anal toy of choice, lubricate it generously, and work it while your partner rides. (Please note, anal always goes better when the receiving party is really aroused, so preface this position with plenty of foreplay.)
Because the butt is right there, other teasing options include slaps and pinches. If your partner has balls, Snow Angel also gives you prime access: Consider some light testicular tugging, whatever your partner is comfortable with and enjoys.
How to: First things first, ready your restraints, whether that’s the aforementioned under-the-bed system or simply scarves or rope. Have your partner bind your wrists, either to the bed frame or above your head, while you lie in missionary position. Then, spread your legs in a V-shape and lift them toward your head. Have your partner help with this, pushing yo
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