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Everything you wanted to know about tongue kissing.
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A truly amazing, off the wall, blockbuster movie-style kiss has enough power to make you dizzy and weak in the knees. Does that sound cheesy? Because I’m pretty convinced that cheesy sayings were born after people experienced a next-level make out session.
Kissing can be the best, seriously. There is almost nothing better than making out. Even when you get older, move into adulthood, and gain more experience with things other than kissing, it doesn’t lose its appeal.
Of course, kissing is an ~art~ and it takes time to perfect it. Trust me, we all have anxiety about being “bad” kissers, experienced or not, so if you’re feeling stressed, you are not alone.
The French Kiss is not something every single person can automatically do with no practice or tips. TBH, for the vast majority of us, putting a tongue in someone’s mouth is scary if you’ve never done it before (and even when you have).
You want to have that incredible, weak knees, dizzy kissing session, not a slobbery dog-like experience wherein someone is spitting all over you. You may have seen people kissing passionately in movies, and it may have looked impulsive and spur of the moment. In real life, you don't want to "just go for it." Be sure to always ask before you kiss someone so, you know both of you are sure this is something you want to do.
To get you started on your path to be a true make out champion, we asked a few seasoned maker-outers for their best suggestions.
Here are a few golden tips to perfect the French kiss.
Be passionate, and prescient, while simultaneously being able to fully enjoy the moment...it also really gives you a leg up if you love the person you're kissing. -Greg, 12 years of kissing experience.
Kissing is half technique, half bonafide excitement. You want to let the other person know that you are really enjoying the making out, but not too much, ya know? Don’t smash your face against your partner’s like you're trying to smoosh your faces together into one big face.
Never assume you have automatic consent (full stop) to force your tongue into someone else's mouth. Like all manner of foreplay, you should start with the basics before working your way up to speaking fluid French. And even then, it's not an inevitable destination; if your partner is pointedly not joining you part-way while you work your way through the French alphabet, take their cues and temper your passion accordingly. -Matt, 10 years of kissing experience.
So, you’re kissing someone and it’s going really well. Maybe you want to move into ~tongue kissing~? Don’t just go for it with a reckless abandon. Start by lightly touching your tongue on their lip. See if they’re into it. If they are, your partner will likely part their lips, or touch their tongue to yours. If you're not sure, always ask if it's OK. Remember, kissing doesn’t always mean tongue kissing.
Ease into it. Step one shouldn't be a deep dive into my throat. -Stacy, 15 years of kissing experience.
On that note, the last thing you want to do is aggressively snake into someone's mouth with your tongue. Take it slow. Feel it out. You may have seen intense, wild kissing like that in movies -- but it rarely works out that way in real life (at least not right in the beginning).
You suck on the upper lip. It’s all about the upper lip! Like a gentle giant. -Malgosia, 10 years of kissing experience.
I’m not talking about stopping mid-kiss so you can spend a full five or six seconds sucking on your partner’s upper lip. That would obviously be weird. Instead, while you’re kissing gently, take a second, take your partner’s upper lip in your mouth just for a moment, suck it, and then go back to kissing. This doesn’t mean the full upper lip, just the cupid’s bow (the very tip of the upper lip).
If you’re making out for a long time, interludes such as this can add some fresh excitement.
Don't move your jaw to quickly or too slowly. Kissing is a conversation and it's important to get the rhythm down before you start going for any Guinness records. -Zack, 8 years of kissing experience.
Kissing is kind of a fluid motion. You go in, kiss a little, pull back for air a little, go in a little and so on. When you’re into it, try to keep the movements slow and even. You don’t have to go nuts with the motions, which can cause some jaw pain and be hella awkward.
It’s a dance between your two tongues. Not a competition to see who can be the most forceful! -James, 9 years of kissing experience.
You don’t have to use your tongue through the entire make out session. If you want to just kiss without tongue too, it’s totally fine. When you ARE using tongue, your go-to move when Frenching can be a massage between your two tongues. You can also try different things and see what feels most comfortable.
Switch up the rhythm and keep me guessing. I love when guys stop and go and keep it playful - stops it from getting monotonous. -Gabby, 9 years of kissing experience.
Be gentle, be conscious of the cues the other person is giving you. If they pull their tongue away, maybe they just want to kiss without tongue for a while. That’s OK!
There is nothing I like more than when my boyfriend gently bites my lip. It’s playful and sexy. -Marie, 5 years of kissing experience.
This is very similar to the “upper lip” sucking tip, but instead it’s a light nibble on the bottom lip. This one takes some expertise. You do not want to go chomping down on your partner’s lip. Keep it light. It’s more like you’re grabbing your partner’s lip between your teeth, rather than biting. Try biting your own lower lip for practice.
Be careful, like, pulling away from each other because of the slobber. -Jess, 9 years of kissing experience.
Now, we are talking about tongue kissing here so there will be some slobbery spit and teeth clanking involved. Don’t stress too much over it, just be aware that these things exist.
Occasionally, you will clank teeth with someone and that’s perfectly OK. Just go straight back to doing your thing, bb. It happens to everyone!
We’re all self-conscious when it comes to kissing. We’re all self-conscious when it comes to, well, everything. Honestly, you don’t really get over the nervousness. Anytime you kiss someone new, there is internal doubt.
Just remember that we’re all trying to be impressive and sexy. No one knows what they’re doing. Kissing takes practice and chemistry with the right person. Not every kiss will be spectacular and few kisses will be miserable. Relax, take a breath, and remind yourself that kissing should be fun!
Some studies have shown that it might be possible to pass HPV through tongue kissing. For more information, click here . It is also possible to pass the Herpes virus (HSV1) through kissing. HSV1 is the virus that causes the common cold sore. For more information, click here .
Gigi Engle is a writer and sex educator in NYC.
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Keep your lips soft . A soft, smooth, and slightly moist mouth is ideal for kissing. Before you move in, you should make sure your lips aren't chapped or dry so your partner isn't distracted or put off by the state of your lips. [1]
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If you want to soften your lips before you go in for the kiss, you should try these quick fixes:

Use chapstick. Swipe some over your lips and press them together. [2]
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(If you're a girl and you have flavored chapstick, all the better!) The only caveat is that you should apply lip balm or gloss an hour or more before you kiss, so your kissing partner feels your soft lips, not the thick layer of gloss over them.
Drink water. Dry lips are a sign of dehydration, so throw back a tall glass of water (or two). [3]
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You should notice your lips starting to smooth out within 20 to 30 minutes.
Lick your lips. If you're really in a pinch and have no time to spare, quickly run your tongue over your lips and press them together. This should moisten them slightly without making them slobbery or slick. [4]
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You can even lick your lips a bit subtly while making eye contact with your kissing partner.

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Freshen your breath. You never want to have bad breath when you are about to kiss someone, whether the kiss is a French kiss or not. Because your mouth will be open in a French kiss, fresh breath is especially important. Practice good dental hygiene. If you know you are about to kiss someone, take a second to brush your teeth or at least rinse out your mouth with water. [5]
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Always have breath mints or mint-flavored gum with you if you think there is a chance you might kiss someone while you are out. If you want to be subtle, you can quickly suck on a breath mint or chew gum for a minute in the bathroom, so you don't make it too obvious that you're ready to kiss.
Avoid foods that leave an unpleasant aftertaste or residue, particularly garlic, coffee, onions, milk, and corn. If you're on a dinner date before the big kiss, try to eat strategically. [6]
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Find the right moment. A good kiss —especially a first kiss or first French kiss—is the culmination of building tension and growing intimacy. Choose your moment right to make sure you and your partner are both in a mindset to really lose yourselves in the kiss. You should have privacy and should both be feeling romantic instead of stressed or distracted, for one thing. When is the moment right? It depends on your individual situation, but here are a few signs to keep in mind:

You have complete privacy. Whether you're alone on your balcony or sitting on a secluded bench in a park, you're not worried that someone will interrupt you.
The other person keeps dropping hints, like locking eyes and looking at your lips, or standing or sitting progressively closer to you. Regardless of your partner's gender, their body language should give you a clue about whether now is the right time to make your move. [7]
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You're ending a date that went really well. In the car or on the porch are both good semi-private locations for a goodnight kiss.
It just seems right. If you feel overwhelmingly compelled to kiss someone, don't be too afraid to just go for it. (Just be prepared for an awkward or even troubling situation if you discover your intended didn't feel the same way.)

Ask . If you aren't sure whether the other person is feeling it, bring up the topic. Better to get permission semi-awkwardly and go ahead with confidence than risk missing out on your chance to kiss that special someone (accidentally kiss someone who isn't interested).

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Make eye contact . Gaze deeply into the other person's eyes. If you want to make your intentions extra clear, slowly move your gaze to their lips, then back up to the eyes. You can even make intense eye contact, break it for a few seconds, and then look back at the person. [8]
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This is a way of showing the person you want to kiss that you're pleasantly overwhelmed at the sight of them.
Girls can even look at a guy, look down, and then look up through their lashes to be extra flirtatious.

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Smile . If you're really excited about the prospect of kissing the other person, show it! A smile keeps the situation light and fun, while helping them feel safe and relaxed. Make sure your smile is soft and genuine, however, and not a forced, too-wide, or overly intense smile. Just slowly and languidly ease your lips into a smile. Show your future kissing partner how happy you are to be in their company. Continue to make eye contact as you do this, or break it for a few seconds before you return it.
You can opt for a close-lipped smile instead of smiling while showing your teeth, which might come off more as friendly than alluring or romantic.

Break the touch barrier . Once you're alone with the person you like and you're smiling and making eye contact, you can decide if you want to go in for the kiss without touching, or if you want to break the touch barrier first. This can mean sitting with your legs touching, holding hands , putting your hand on the person's knee, stroking the person's arm, or just giving a sign of affection. If you've kissed the person on the lips before, then breaking the touch barrier may feel more natural for you, and you should make an effort to touch the person before you touch lips so both of you feel more at ease.
You can also break the touch barrier as you're moving in to kiss the person. If you're standing, you can touch the person's arms, neck, or shoulders as you move in for the kiss. If you're sitting, you can put a hand on the person's back.

Move in. When the moment seems right, go in for the approach. In general, you should be moving slowly enough that the other person has time to say no , but not so slow that the moment loses its spark. [9]
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When you start to get the feeling that your kissing partner is ready for the next step, you shouldn't dilly-dally. Move your body toward their body until your heads are just a few inches apart. That's when you'll have to start angling your head for the best kissing position.
Take it slow. The slow approach builds tension and anticipation. Move in at a pace that gives the other person a chance to consent (or not). [10]
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When they see you coming in, they may move to meet you, so going slow will prevent you from accidentally bumping heads.

Tilt your head slightly to one side. Meeting head-on will result in bumping noses. Instead, just tilt your head slightly to the left or right. If you notice the other person going in one direction, pick the opposite. [11]
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Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do this perfectly. If you and your partner end up kissing each other head-on and bumping noses a bit, then you'll naturally adjust your heads into a more comfortable position, where your noses aren't in the way.
Unlike what you may think from the movies, this doesn't have to happen in slow motion. You'll tilt your head as you move closer to the person, not at a snail's pace, so you don't have to worry about having the time to get it perfect.

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Close your eyes. Just before you make contact, close your eyes. Kissing with your eyes open is generally associated with dishonesty and insincerity, and keeping your eyes closed will help you focus on and enjoy what's happening on your lips. [12]
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Also, while you may be tempted to open your eyes to see what your kissing partner looks like in the throes of
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