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Fantasy Match / Blog / List Of Kinks Fantasies And Their Definitions – An Analysis of Real Stories
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Based on kinky stories that we found on the web and received from our readers, we’ve drawn up a list of kinks and divided them into conceptual categories. Spoiler: this article contains a lot of true, kinky stories. Get ready.
Across various sources — from official academic dictionaries to informal jokes, and from vernacular vocabularies to sex-evangelism blogs— definitions of “kink” differ wildly. The lengthy, conflicting list of definitions is like a veil hiding the true meaning and perplexing those who want to make sense of the subject
“sexual perversion”,
“non-traditional sexual preferences”,
“sexually-provocative behavior”,
“participation in or taste for uncommon sexual conduct”,
“any kind of non-traditional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies”,
“something opposite to vanilla sex”,
“openness to sexual experiments”,
“sexual practices that most people consider to be wild, unusual or extreme”
Using that list, one can single out a single basic thing that all definitions have in common: at the very least, a kink is something that ignites sexual desire.
We’ve pored over stories, analyzed various kinds of sexual experiences and organized our findings into five conceptual categories.
If we’ve left your favorite kink off our list, come send us your story;)
As we travel through the wide world of kinks and fantasies, we’ll make our first stop at the nonliving objects that sexually excite us. You may know these particular kinks under a different name: fetishes. Sexual fetishism is arousal caused by nonliving objects.
Fetishes can include just about anything, from garters, leather jackets, vibrators, a cherry on the pie, sex toys, cakes, sand and water, to the taste and smell of different items. Fetishes and object kinks are one and the same.
Want to better understand object kinks? Check out the stories below.
Kink: stockings with garters. “My boyfriend has a fetish—he wants me when I wear elegant stockings with garters. I already have a good deal of these garters, a perfect collection. There’s so much piquancy in this.”
Kink: glasses. “I think I love having sex with intelligent girls. I believe a girl to be intelligent when she wears glasses. That’s why I always choose poses that let me see her face and glasses.”
Kink: chef’s whites. “I’ve been recently dreaming about a chef in a five-star hotel. I fancy seeing him in his uniform with this funny hat on his head—I don’t think I’d manage to control myself! I would take him to the back room and… It is this toque blanche that makes me horny; dunno why, but this thing is my surefire desire exciter.”
These are also objects, except these are “living” — body kinks refer to body parts or specific body types that light your sexual fire. For instance, some people might enjoy men and women with long, well-groomed hair. Others may get aroused by a slight figure, a curvaceous body, the absence of hair or even a specific presence, body odor and taste…
Are you in the mood for some kinky tales of body kinks?
Kink: big booties. “Girls with big and plummy asses make me horny, and I don’t care whether they’re natural or it took a surgeon to make them look like this: it’s just mind-blowing when I see a girl and imagine bending her down, and then there’s the way her booty starts shaking…”
Kink: white skin. “Someone may be enraptured by legs, arms and boobs, but as for me—I adore white skin. When I happen to see a girl like this, I cannot take my eyes off her, and when it is a man I get aroused at once.”
Does the idea of intercourse among more than two people excite you? This can be a threesome, group sex or public sex. Those watching are also participants in the process: they are the audience witnessing the selfless performance of the actors. If this interests you, consider it a marker of the group kink.
Kink: public sex. “My husband and I have been together for a long time. Having visited a club for a kinky-party, we were surprised to find out that we enjoy having sex in public. Even when the desire was not that strong, the glances and gazes of other people ignited our sexual drive and made us dissolve into each other.”
Kink: group sex. “Whenever I happen to feel another body touch me at the disco, I become horny even without seeing the gender or the face of the person next to me; I understand that what makes me aroused is the idea that everyone present has come for pleasure, and if I imagine them all without clothes, I shall desire every man and woman on the dancefloor.”
Kink: threesome. “Our friends have always considered us to be an exemplary couple who love and respect each other. But very few of them know that we like threesomes and very often look for a third partner by using sex apps and searching clubs. When we add a third person, sex becomes even more vibrant, and we adore this joint seduction.”
Kink: corruption and training. “Every day I recall meeting my girl. When I was introduced to her, she had such a shy and innocent look, sitting there in her blue dress. And now we are in a serious relationship and she is second to none in sex—an embarrassed girl has turned into a daring and passionate woman. I had no idea she could be like this. When we go out together and she behaves in her sweet and tender way, I remember what she is in bed—and this is exciting as hell.”
Someone plays the gray wolf while their partner is Little Red Riding Hood; someone acts as a servant while another becomes a master; someone plays a teacher while others prefer to be naughty female students. Some people always choose the leading role, give orders, manage the situation and take without asking.
Along these lines, there is always someone on top and someone on the bottom, one who dominates and a submissive who obeys without question, one who loves to cause pain and another ready to bear it for the benefit of the master. But never forget that the basic principles of BDSM lie in safety, voluntariness and right reason. It is not for nothing that the top is trusted—they hold the bottom’s wellbeing in their hands.
Kink: domination over a Cinderella-man. “When my man helps his folks around the house, he always writes me an SMS saying: “Busy at the moment. Playing a Cinderella part.” After these words, I fancy him naked and wearing nothing but a housemaid’s apron, and I’m aching to fuck him… I can’t bear suppressing this desire. ;)”
Kink: restricted mobility. “I love handcuffs so much… When I was having sex with my new partner for the first time, he chained me; in the heat of passion, I failed to notice this, yet when I heard the snap I almost climaxed that very second. And the fact that I did not know this man well enough even spiced things up. That was a hell of an orgasm!”
Kink: submission to someone who is much stronger. “I get very horny—I can cum at once—the very second I touch my lover’s biceps or his brawny shoulders. With the whole of my body I feel his strength and power over me, and the idea of my helplessness simply drives me crazy; this is a kind of incredible emotional experience.”
Kink: partner’s roughness. “I had a good deal of partners who loved gentle sex. I met a girl recently. I started by being mild and gentle, as I’d learned from previous relationships. I petted and caressed her, but then I saw she was becoming even more aroused when I proceed to do things in a rough and forceful manner.”
A no-nonsense boss by day—and an obedient secretary by night. A caring mother when visiting friends—and a slut in the bedroom. A run-of-the-mill manager in the real world—and a strict doctor in the realm of his fantasies. Trying someone else’s role on, stepping into their shoes for half an hour or half a day, becoming the opposite of yourself, playing pretend until you roll with ecstasy—this is a roleplaying kink.
Even if your partners stay the same, the situations that traditionally make you horny may change. If you view your partner as part of the setting or a piece of décor and you find more excitement in acting out a scene, roleplaying might be your kink.
You can draw inspiration for these kinks from movie storylines or even snapshots from everyday life, like talking to a railway guard, buying a car, asking for a dance, changing clothes, training an inexperienced student or managing a company.
Kink: seduction by a lecturer. “I’m crazy about a lecturer. I cannot stop fancying him taking me right during the lecture, on the table, so that all of the students see it.”
Kink: extended seduction. “I adore the state of sexual arousal; I want to continue playing and flirting with my partner, getting more and more excited with every minute. To understand that I am almost dead excited and exhausted by desire, but to delay until the very last moment so that a single touch of his body against mine sends electricity running through my veins… As for him, I like him to empathize with all of my sensations and have fun, but during the whole process he feels exactly the same way that I do. It’s kind of sweet torturing each other.”
Kink: seducing a busy partner. “It turns me on to see my boyfriend concentrated on something. He looks so damn sexy when working or watching a film that I am ready to pounce on him right away.”
Kink: admiration. “I always want a man who admires me. Whenever I feel admiration, then his weight, age, sex and the size of his manhood (I mean both the body and financial standing) cease to matter to my body.”
Not allowed, not appropriate, wrong, unworthy. There are endless bans and prohibitions that people want to violate. This kink is a grim cocktail of shame, adrenaline, excitement and doubts: public places, social inequality, unplanned/spontaneous/inappropriate sex, sex with a stranger, sex with someone else’s partner… I’m sure you can add many entries to this list!
Let’s hear from some people who’ve already crossed the line.
Kink: provocative clothing. “My colleague usually dresses in a rather straight-laced and feminine way that does not trigger any particular emotions. But sometimes she may put on something from a grunge style: ripped jeans, stretched T-shirts and no makeup. Somehow, it turns me on so much I want to grab her and press her against the wall and shag her somewhere in the WC. By the way, I’m a girl.”
Kink: ban violation. “I never allow my boyfriend to watch when I give him a blowjob. In fact, I put a sleep mask on him so that he can’t see. During the process, I notice him peeping and get a thrill out of it.”
Kink: a man in women’s clothing. “I also have a very unusual fetish. I’m crazy about men wearing women’s clothes. I can’t help that I enjoy it.”
You stand in awe of someone, and that just makes you want them more. The desire for seduction is mixed with both admiration and fear, the kind of fear that you have right before doing something new and terrifying. You might feel no fear when preparing to taste a new dish in a restaurant, yet when you throb with anxiety before your first visit to a swing-club, it means that you have an almost godlike reverence for whatever is about to happen next.
You may experience the same with people, so that every interaction with a certain person changes you. You understand that you will never be the same after having sex with him or her. If you have a kink like this, then this feeling will always stick with you, even as you proceed to seduce your partner with your actions, your body, your caressing. That person is always your god or goddess.
In essence, it’s like having the desire to find someone better than you: a “deity” you want to surrender yourself to, a man or a woman who could take you out of yourself. Someone who could make you “believe that there was something more important on earth than myself…” (Henry Miller).
Now that we’ve analyzed the meaning of kink and examined stories from kinksters, let’s draw up our own general definition: “kink is something that causes your sexual excitement,” or more specifically, “a role, an object, a body part, a situation or a game that ignites your sexual desire.”
Now that you have learned the list of kinks, you may continue your tour into the world of kinks by using the Fantasy App , meeting other kinksters, reading other people’s kinky stories and sharing your own kinks. As for this article, it is just an overall map that outlines the world of kinks and gives a basic description—the very first step to exploring kinks. For more, read in article "Sex in Old Times – First Kinksters’ Predilections" .
We are all kinksters – but not all of us know this ( Fantasy )
Plus tips on how to have safe, kinky sex.
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The term "fetish" may evoke images of black bodysuits and complicated sexual contraptions , but you may already be acting out some of the most common examples. ( Spanking , anyone?) What defines a fetish isn't what the activity or object of desire is so much as the role it plays in someone's life. "A fetish is typically referred to as behavior that someone cannot get sexually aroused without. Fetishes can also be a term people use to describe sexual arousal that is coupled with a typically non-sexual object," says sexologist and psychologist Denise Renye .
While people often use the terms "fetish" and "kink" interchangeably, a kink means an activity or behavior that someone enjoys that exists outside the "norm" of "traditional" sex, such as incorporating handcuffs or even balloons . Think of the differences this way: If someone's kink is bondage, they probably get incredibly excited when they're tied up. If someone has a bondage fetish , their entire sexuality may revolve around restraint. (There's also the category of turn-ons: things that simply arouse a person.)
When we think of kink, we often think of BDSM, which involves an erotic power exchange through dominance and submission. BDSM is kinky, but not all kinks fall under the BDSM umbrella. Renye adds that people often have more than one kink or one fetish, and there is often overlap: For instance, someone may engage in spanking as part of a role-playing scenario in which one partner is dressed up as a schoolgirl and the other like a professor. In such an instance, the scenario would involve role-play, impact play, and even age play.
Research suggests that perhaps half of us are interested in sexual activities outside the "norm," so if you're interested in trying any of the following, rest assured you're not alone. And of course, with any type of sex, acting on fetishes or kinks should always involve enthusiastic consent from all parties and safer sex practices, such as the use of condoms , to prevent unwanted pregnancies and STIs. You never have to try anything that's not attractive to you, but please refrain from kink shaming others. Remember, we're trying to dismantle sexual shame .
Ready to dive in? Here's a list of some of the most common fetishes and what they entail.
Impact play means spanking, flogging, paddling, and other forms of consensual striking. Spanking is often an easy and safe BDSM entry point that leads to exploring more, such as purchasing a crop to use with a partner. Impact play can range from a light slap on the bum to a crack of the whip.
As with any kink or fetish, it's important to negotiate boundaries beforehand. "Safety and comfort are the most important aspects of kink," says Renye. Do your homework before practicing impact play. Discuss the level of intensity you enjoy (or your partner enjoys), choose a safe word to shut down the action on a dime if need be, and learn what parts of the body are safe to impact. Stick with the meatier areas, like the ass and thighs, and avoid less protected areas where organs live, like the lower back.
You don't have to stop playing make-believe when you grow up. Role-playing means acting out a sexual fantasy with your partner(s), either once or as part of an ongoing fantasy. While it can be a fetish or kink within itself, it's also a healthy way to act out other fantasies. For instance, if you have a medical fantasy and are aroused by doctors, you probably don't actually want your doctor to get sexy with you, because that would be creepy and abusive. The beauty of role-playing is that you can have your partner dress up as a doctor and indulge your fantasy consensually in your own home.
A foot fetish involves a desire to worship feet through acts such as massage, kissing, and smelling. As professional dominatrix Goddess Aviva previously told Allure , it's an extremely common fetish. If your partner shares that they have a foot fetish, it may be initially jarring, but it's an opportunity for you to discuss a potentially exciting new part of your sex life together. (And, if you're into it, just think of all the foot massages headed your way!)
You don't need to have an anal fetish to engage in anal sex, but plenty of people do specifically get off on butt stuff. Anal play can range from adding a finger in the ass during penetrative vaginal sex to using butt plugs to having anal sex with a penis or a dildo.
While anal sex can be safe and wonderful, there is some prep work involved. Since the butthole is not self-lubricating and harbors bacteria that can lead to infection if transferred to the vagina, it’s important to stock up on lube and read up on ass etiquette before engaging in anal play. That includes safer sex precautions such as condom use . Start small and go slow, using fingers, anal toys, and plenty of lube before moving up to larger objects such as dildos or a penis.
Renye says that one of the most common fetishes centers on something that may be sitting inside your dresser right now: lingerie . "[This] may show up in sexual play between and among individuals who may not even consider themselves kinky or to have a fetish (or two or three)," she says. Again, while many people get aroused by sexy underwear, lingerie becomes a fetish when someone needs it to be present
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