Kapri gets spanked hard
🛑 KLIKNIJ TUTAJ, ABY UZYSKAĆ WIĘCEJ INFORMACJI 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Kapri gets spanked hard
Sunday, Aug 28th 2022
6AM
17°C
9AM
25°C
5-Day Forecast
Even though I was convinced Tamsin had been telling the truth, still a tiny part of me had hoped it was all a mistake
Site
Web
Enter search term:
Search
Home
News
U.S.
Sport
TV&Showbiz
Australia
Femail
Health
Science
Money
Video
Travel
Best Buys
Discounts
In seconds my world came tumbling down
Emma Charles thought that she and her family were living a normal life. But then she discovered that her husband had been sexually abusing their daughter Tamsin since the age of ten. Twelve years on, Emma recalls that devastating day and the traumatic events that followed
In many ways, we were an ordinary family – mum, dad, two kids, a Volvo in the drive. And in some ways we weren’t so ordinary. As a ship’s engineer, my husband Daniel worked away from home for up to four months at a time. But I never for a moment dreamt that we were extraordinary – until that day.
It started out fine, that Tuesday in December 1996. Our younger daughter, Claire, 13, was at school, and I was looking forward to spending some time with Tamsin, who had just broken up for the holidays. At 15, she was a weekly boarder at a specialist school for high-ability dyslexics.
We chatted about what she was going to do. That was when the first hint of discord arose. Tamsin and I squabbled, like all mothers and daughters. But that day she was impervious to reasoned argument. She began making hurtful personal attacks on her father and me, something she had never done. At bedtimewe kissed goodnight, but for the first time we parted with a coolness between us.
The following evening, I was in the living room when she burst in, flung a piece of paper at me and stormed out. ‘I have to leave or he has to,’ she had written. ‘And you seem to need him. And f*** you, you probably won’t believe me anyway.’ She was talking about her father – telling me that he had been sexually abusing her for the past five years. In the seconds it took me to absorb her words, my world came tumbling down.
I found her down the road with her dog. ‘Come home and tell me about it,’ I begged. She looked into my eyes and must have been reassured by what she saw. ‘He won’t leave me alone,’ she cried. ‘He’s always feeling me up. He brushes against my breasts so I know it’s not accidental, but he could persuade someone else it was.’
Hope blossomed in my mind. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, an over-tactile father who would have to learn to respect his daughter’s personal space. ‘Has he ever touched you between your legs?’ I asked. ‘Last time he was home on leave,’ she sobbed.
Tears were falling from my eyes as I looked up the number for social services and picked up the phone. I just knew I had to do the right thing.
Daniel and I had been married for 18 years. I was 27 when we met, working as a medical photographer; he was a year older and at college, studying for his Second Engineer’s certificate. He was tall and slim with auburn hair and blue-grey eyes and a full beard and moustache. And he was gentle, laid-back – all the things I wasn’t. Within a week, I had decided he was the man with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. We married the following year.
I hadn’t wanted children. It was Daniel who felt that we wouldn’t be a ‘proper family’ without them. Tamsin was conceived two years after our wedding, and Claire came along two and a half years after that. As it turned out, I loved being a mother and Daniel was good with the girls as babies. But as they grew up, he changed. His own parents had been authoritarian, and not reluctant to use a belt to hit their children. He, too, resorted to smacking and violence.
One incident in particular stands out. When the girls were seven and four, I noticed ‘fingertip’ bruising on Claire’s arm. I really went for Daniel, threatening to kick him out if he couldn’t control his temper. He was angry with me for taking him to task; but when he realised I was serious, he backed down and apologised. Over and over again, we talked about what was reasonable behaviour and over and over he agreed with me. But his efforts to improve never lasted long.
Why did I stay with him if things were so bad? Well, they weren’t bad all the time. Mostly, we had a good family life. I knew the harm that divorce causes to children. I still loved Daniel and I thought we could make it work. Until that day.
Tamsin, aged four, and her 18-month-old sister, Claire
Daniel was in the Far East when Tamsin wrote her devastating note. Social services set up an appointment for the following Monday. Meanwhile, I had to address another horrible thought. Gently, I asked Claire if her dad had ever touched her. ‘He used to come and give me back rubs,’ she replied. ‘But I liked that…’ ‘Nothing else?’ I asked. ‘He asked me to take off my T-shirt, but I just said no. And once he tried to give me a tummy rub, but I wouldn’t let him.’
It was becoming clearer now. Claire has always been an upfront child. Whenever anything was worrying her, she would come and tell me. If only Tamsin had been the same.
I’m not going to describe Tamsin’s statement to social services. Listening to her engraved pictures on my mind which I still have trouble banishing today. The police also took statements and arranged a medical examination. Several weeks later, Daniel was arrested as he stepped off a flight from Jakarta. DC Barbara White from the sexual offences unit called later to tell me: ‘He’s admitted everything. It’s a very credible confession. He wants me to tell you that he’s never raped Tamsin, and he’s never been unfaithful to you with anyone else.’
I cried my eyes out. Even though I was convinced Tamsin had been telling the truth, still a tiny part of me had hoped it was all a mistake.
Daniel was bailed, with strict conditions not to approach either Tamsin or me. I had imagined that he would be feeling crushed and placatory. I was soon to discover how little I knew him. Within a few days, a letter from him arrived informing me that his mother was bitter that I had not kept our troubles ‘within the family’. So that was it. I was to be blamed for reporting the abuse. This was my first experience of the denial which abusers use to protect themselves from acknowledging the harm they have caused. Who is protected by dealing with such matters within the family? Only the abuser.
For the sexual assault on his daughter, Daniel was sentenced to 12 months’ imprisonment and placed on the Sex Offenders Register for five years. The case took ten months to come to court and was finally heard in October 1997. When people asked me that year how I was coping, I said I had pencilled in a nervous breakdown for November. In the event, it didn’t happen. I didn’t have the time. Tamsin needed all my energy.
Tamsin went downhill quickly. The first signs were strange attacks, which she called freakies. They are difficult to describe. Her body was there, but the rational person that was Tamsin disappeared. Instead there was a frightened creature which threw itself at walls and on the floor, and scratched itself incessantly. I spent many evenings desperately holding her hands to stop her scratching out her eyes until the prescribed tranquilliser could take effect.
For a while, she underwent counselling and we got a brief glimpse of the old Tamsin – a normal teenager full of fun and laughter. But then she went downhill again. Two years after she first disclosed the abuse, she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, where nurses found her scraping away at her wrist with a knife. When they took the knife away, she continued to scratch with her nails. She talked about hearing bad voices – the Doctors, she called them. One night, after she was discharged, I found her shaving the skin off the back of her hand with a razor. ‘Don’t be angry with me,’ she begged. ‘I didn’t want to do it. It was the Doctors; they made me!’
Five-year-old Tamsin enjoying a family day out
For six desperately anxious months, we worried that Tamsin was schizophrenic. But psychiatrists eventually concluded that she had been suffering from a neurotic, rather than psychotic illness. As new medication began to work, life calmed down and there were no more voices or self-harming. It was by no means the beginning of the end of our story; but perhaps it was the end of the beginning.
I, too, underwent counselling to unravel my confused feelings. There have been those who, on hearing our story, have expressed amazement that I had just accepted Tamsin’s word when she told me her father had been abusing her, without first giving Daniel a chance to have his say. I can’t explain it. Partly it was because I knew from reading about the subject in newspapers and magazines that children seldom, if ever, lie about abuse. Partly it was because I knew that Tamsin was a truthful person. But mostly it was that somewhere deep inside I had known instinctively that she was telling the truth. Afterwards, odd bits of behaviour and events began to click into place.
One of the difficulties when a relationship ends abruptly is that there is no proper closure. I never got the chance to say goodbye to Daniel. People didn’t expect me to grieve for him because of what he’d done; but this was the man with whom I had spent half my life. I came to understand that without grief there can be no final acceptance.
Another insight was the realisation that the pain of Daniel’s betrayal will never go away. Again the answer is acceptance, because without acceptance nothing changes. Daniel served six months of his sentence. Our only contact with him since has been through solicitors.
Today I can look more objectively at our experiences. When Tamsin revealed the abuse, some friends found it hard to accept. Daniel doesn’t look peculiar or behave in a peculiar way. He was on the Playing Field Committee in our village; he was asked to be a steward in our church. Surely he can’t be a paedophile? Surely it must have been a misunderstanding? At the heart of this attitude is denial. To open yourself to the knowledge of what an abuser has done is hard. Much easier to think of it as a mistake for which no one should suffer.
Tamsin has had the most horrendous time. Anyone who understands about self-harming knows that physical pain is easier to cope with than mental pain. At 27, she is still extremely anxious all the time. She has not worked since leaving school and only now is she well enough to attend college, where she is studying horse management. Like most abused kids, she has been through a period of promiscuity. You’d think that abused kids would want nothing more to do with sex; but the fact is, they do not know, have not experienced, any other way of relating to men.
Child sex abusers do not believe that what they do is wrong. They convince themselves that the child wants it to happen as much as they do; indeed, it is not uncommon for them to blame the child for leading them on. It is in this denial that the danger to other children lies. If an abuser does not believe that what he does is harmful, he has no reason not to do it again.
Of course, we as a society are also in denial. We warn our children about ‘stranger danger’, but the truth is that the vast majority of abused children are abused by relatives or close friends. We would much rather objectify offenders and think of them as shadowy figures, totally unlike those we know. Until we stop burying our heads in the sand nothing will change. This is the bottom line. And one abused child is one too many.
This is an edited extract from How Could He Do It? by Emma Charles (Preface Publishing, £12.99). To order a copy post-free, call the YOU Bookshop on 0845 606 4204 or visit you-bookshop.co.uk
No comments have so far been submitted. Why not be the first to send us your thoughts,
or debate this issue live on our message boards.
We are no longer accepting comments on this article.
Published by Associated Newspapers Ltd
Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group
ALZ HOPE 'Miracle' Alzheimer's drug that slows dementia could be available on NHS next year
QUICK FIX What is the LighterLife diet, what foods are restricted, is it safe and are there any success stories?
HORROR HOUSE FIRE Mum burned while saving her kids from a raging fire recalls her skin MELTING as she tried to escape
SEX CLUES This is how much sex you SHOULD be having... according to your age
And another commenter joked: "Bruh I've never seen a more cringe phone call than that".
Of course, this isn't the first shocking attempt we've seen to catch out a love rat, after we shared a clip in which a woman hired a skinny actress to hit on her fella in a coffee shop .
Christina wanted to set up an elaborate honeytrap using her friend Tara, who had just turned 18
THIS is the shocking video which claims to expose a stepdad who cheated on his wife with a teenager... but the clip may not be as it seems.
The footage, uploaded to YouTube channel To Catch a Cheater , claims to show a 48-year-old stepdad being caught out after he is hit on by an 18-year-old girl.
Stepdaughter Christina wanted to set up an elaborate honeytrap using her friend Tara, who came up to greet Christina's stepdad with a hidden camera rolling.
Having greeted the stepdad with a friendly: "Hi Mr Peters", the two embrace and start chatting.
Meanwhile, Christina is watching the entire scene unfold, with no idea what is going to happen next.
When the sordid stepdad mentions he had to cut his gym session short to pick Christina up, Tara gives his muscles a flirty - and flattering - squeeze.
The teenager goes on to make a reference to being "legal" now she has turned 18, and invites the stepdad to come to her party to celebrate.
After being told Christina can't make it, he asks: "Are there going to be any other parents, or grown-ups there?"
Birthday girl Tara replies: "Well, not parents. But we're mature", prompting the stepdad to accept her invitation and ask what she wants to mark the occasion.
Christina watches on in amazement as flirty Tara says: "I mean your presence is enough. Icing on the cake would be dinner before".
A shocked Christina can't stop cringing as her 48-year-old stepdad agrees to take her teenage friend out for dinner, before Tara confesses that she's always had a crush on him.
The audio temporarily cuts out as the stepdad can be seen fidgeting on the spot, before confessing that the feeling is mutual.
He adds: "I mean I'm in a situation where, I'm, you know, I'm married and you're, you know, my daughter's friend... socially it's a bit awkward".
Christina is stunned, however, when Tara asks her stepdad if they can hang out, and he suggests a day when he'll be home alone with his wife and stepdaughter out of the house.
The seedy stepdad tries to justify himself, saying meekly: "It's an important thing for people my age to mentor younger people.
"You can come by and do what feels right, what feels natural."
As Tara goes in to peck him on the cheek, Christina leaps out of her chair and slams the laptop shut, shouting: "I don't wanna watch it".
In a bizarre end to the clip, Christina calls up Tara and the pair have an argument down the phone... which viewers are certain is staged.
In fact, some viewers suggested the entire clip may be an elaborate fake, with one saying: "Where do they find these actors? This one is terrible".
Another less-than-impressed viewer took to the comments section to say: "I feel like the episodes are getting fake now".
Watch Ronaldo prank Rio Ferdinand and prove Carragher snub WAS personal
EastEnders star dies aged just 38 as devastated family pay tribute
I investigated Princess Diana’s car crash - here’s what I think really happened
Cher Lloyd looks worlds away from her X Factor days in stunning new snap
©News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy . To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. View our online Press Pack. For other inquiries, Contact Us . To see all content on The Sun, please use the Site Map. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO)
Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. For further details of our complaints policy and to make a complaint please click this link: thesun.co.uk/editorial-complaints/
optional screen reader
Parenting
Entertainment
Health
Food
Shopping
Digital Issues
Plus Icon
Click to expand the Mega Menu
Menu
optional screen reader
Parenting
Entertainment
Health
Food
Shopping
Digital Issues
optional screen reader
Entertainment
optional screen reader
Tags
Chelsea Handler
Conan O'Brien
Jason Biggs
talk shows
optional screen reader
Legal
Privacy Policy
Terms of Use
AdChoices
Privacy Preferences
optional screen reader
SheKnows Family:
She Media
StyleCaster
Soaps
BlogHer
optional screen reader
Our Sites
Artnews
BGR
Billboard
Deadline
Fairchild Media
Footwear News
Gold Derby
IndieWire
Robb Report
Rolling Stone
SheKnows
She Media
Soaps
Sourcing Journal
Sportico
Spy
StyleCaster
The Hollywood Reporter
TVLine
Variety
Vibe
WWD
Food & Recipes
Expand the sub menu
Special Series
Expand the sub menu
optional screen reader
Contact Us
Advertise
AdChoices
Accessibili
Wanna pełna kwiatów
Sex babcia maca sie po cipce
Milfetka z cudownym cialem