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The Spanked Speak: Awful, but Not Bad
The Spanked Speak: Awful, but Not Bad
See the article in its original context from January 12, 1974 , Page 39 Buy Reprints
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When Tony Shorris, a senior at the Collegiate School, was about 8 years old, he would sulk on his bed after he had been punished and wonder how he would discipline his own children.
“I would lie there and think of how I would tack a set of rigid rules on the wall, and, if they were broken, we would have a court. I would be the judge, and I would teach my children not only about discipline but justice, too,” he recalled with.a touch of self‐mockery.
Today, with the perspective of eight years, he would neither convene a tribunal nor frame a code of laws but rather would hew pretty closely to the “flexible” system under which he was raised.
Along with “liberal,” flexible” was the adjective most commonly used lw nearly a score of high school and college students who were asked recently to describe their parents’ disciplinary approach and its effects.
They belong to the generation that succeeds the rebelliously idealistic flower children of the 1960's, but they were brought up according to the same gospel of Dr. Spock and other nonauthoritarIan, psychoanalytically oriented schools of thought.
Like their elder brothers and sisters, they often reject the substance of their parents’ values, but they have surprisingly little quarrel with the ways those values were imparted. And their acceptance of discipline seems to have little correlation with its strictness or permissiveness..
“My parents are much more strict than those of my friends, but I'm sure glad I have mine,” said Anthonette (Toni) Syversen, 15, of Yorktown Heights, N.Y., who does not mind that her mother and father will not permit her to date until she is 16 or to wear pants, the uniform of her peers, to school.
“Problems come from parents being too easy,” Toni, the sixth of 12 Syversen children, explained. “My parents are very strict about our morals, religion, behavior, the way we look and act in front of other people, and I think it has made us stronger people.”
Matthew Haines, 20, of Manhattan, as grateful for his parents’ leniency as Toni Syversen is for the reins her parents placed on her.
Matthew, a Skidmore College sophomore, described his mother and father as “liberal and permissive in the sense that we [he has a brother, Daniel, 18] can generally do whatever we want.”
“It was nonauthoritarian,” he said of his upbringing. “There was no yelling, no wild screaming. There were no rules, but there was structure and there were guidelines that took our feelings into account. Responsibility was taught through explanation.”
No disciplinary practice seems to polarize people, young and old, more than that of spanking.
• While the “spare the rod and spoil the child” credo has passed into disrepute, a moderate slap on the fanny is still considered more effective than words by some, a lamentable cop‐out by others.
“It was always a drastic measure used only when my sister and I had fights or when we were fresh to my mother,” Mark Corcoran, 18, of Mount Kisco, N.Y. a freshman at the Parsons School of Design, said of his rare spankings, which ceased altogether when he reached fourth grade.
Spanking was a last resort when Amy Zimet, now a 21‐year‐old senior at Goucher College misbehaved.
“I think I resent it more now than did at the time,” she said. “Now I have political reasons, it was my mother, not my father, who did the spanking.”
Rena Epstein, 18, of the Bronx, sophomore at Barnard College, said she was spanked “very occasionally.. if had broken something valuable or I kept on asking for something and wouldn't know when to stop.”
“When I later became a counselor at camp,” she continued, “I realized you do exactly what was done to you, and was surprised to find that I had the urge to hit a child [she never did], and now I know I would spank my own children.”
“Sometimes it's worse not being spanked,” observed Joel Robinson, 17, of Croton‐on‐Hudson, N.Y. “My father [Rabbi Michael Robinson of Temple Israel of Northern Westchester] is a pacifist so he doesn't spank. He would yell and rage, and that's a heavy sort of thing.”
Verbal rebukes and the revocation of privileges seem to have been the most prevalent forms of punishment for such infractions as rudeness, insolence, breakage of possessions, failure to do assigned tasks, swearing and disobedience.
The key to acceptance of punishment lies not in its severity or frequency but in the degree of communication and trust between parents and child.
Nancy Ellen King, 16, a junior at the Birch Wathen School, for instance, has been spanked, had her mouth washed with soap, her allowance withheld and has been assigned extra household tasks. And she has sometimes chafed at restrictions, such as the midnight curfew that was only lifted this year.
“It bothered me when there was special occasion, but the important thing is that my parents trusted me,” she said. “Once last year, I went to a party, and I still had a curfew. At the last minute I decided to sleep at a girlfriend's and I said I would be home at the same time. They never checked.”
“Looking back,” Nancy said, “I think the way my parents brought me up was good. My school is full of wealthy, spoiled kids, and I wouldn't want to be like that.”
By contrast, Thomas Jacobson, 20, of Scarsdale, a junior at Middlebury College, said he thinks one reason he, his sister, 23 and brother, 17, have never generated trouble is because “there was never any corporal punishment, no discipline outside of lectures, no rules except for ones about table manners, no curfews, set chores, or limitations on television viewing.
“It's a good system, and I would do the same,” he said.
Nancy King said that if she were to become a parent, she would try to remember what bothers her now, such as the hassling about curfews.
“But I'm not sure that when the time does come I will remember,” she conceded. “Things change from generation to generation, and parents just don't remember that.”


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Jared Jacang Maher



May 19, 2005


4:00AM



Although the small picture was quite innocuous compared to the adjoining color spreads, Michael was intrigued. He kept sneaking peeks at it, even when his parents were in the next room. Michael's mother and father never spanked him. Few of his friends had parents who spanked them. California in the '70s was just not a place for a young kid with a budding spanking fetish.


The schoolgirl picture seemed like a genuine scene of the corporeal punishment he'd often fantasized witnessing. "I wondered for months what these girls had done wrong and what school they had gone to," he recalls on his blog, www.thespankingblog.com, where he's posted the photo alongside a nostalgic account of rediscovering his first spanking picture. "I knew the picture was old, but I thought it was the real thing."


Today he can tell that the scene was staged by the positioning and postures of the women in the photo. But he still praises the photographer for being "way ahead of his time."


And now the time has come. Real Spankings, the Denver-based media company that the pseudonymous Michael Masterson -- Mr. M -- owns with his wife, is one of the world's largest producers of online spanking adult entertainment, a multimillion-dollar-a-year industry catering to tens of thousands of spanking fetishists , both male and female. The couple's mini-empire includes some of the Internet's most popular spanking websites, with titles like Spanking Teen Jessica, Spanking Teen Brandi, Bi Spanking, Women Spanking Men and The RS Institute, as well as the flagship site, www.realspankings.com; they've also recently expanded into video and DVD releases.


In a review of Painful Summer -- their film about two eighteen-year-old girls who are punished with spankings while visiting a relative's mountain house -- David Pierson, of Consumer Spanking Video News and Reviews , celebrates "the interplay between submissive and dominant performers." A professional psychoanalyst and self-styled spanking-media critic, Pierson calls Real Spankings "the leader of the new-wave movement in spanking video erotica."


With over a thousand hours of locally filmed videos, a massive database of pictures and a strong customer-service approach, Masterson has earned a loyal following in the spanking world. In addition to satisfying the more than 5,000 members who pay a monthly fee ranging from $17.95 to $24.95 for access to the original content on each of five subscription sites (or $59.95 for the Real Spankings Pass, which covers admission to all five), Masterson and his twenty employees maintain twenty free websites, including a directory of the "Top 100" Internet spanking websites and Mr. M's frequently viewed blog. They also run the forum site www.worldspankingforum.com, an "online community for spanking enthusiasts" that has over a thousand members. A hundred or so active posters contribute to discussion threads about paddle markings and their favorite models, as well as requesting specific spanking scenarios from the Real Spankings staff.


From their four-level studio in a converted turn-of-the-century house in central Denver, Masterson and company quietly whack out 24 to 30 scenes a week, spanking two or three models a day. But there is nothing muted about the actual sessions they film: Realspankings.com advertises that its videos and photos are of "spanking discipline and corporal punishment from real discipline sessions." Masterson says his sites specialize in "severe" spanking, and in an effort to re-create for his audience the same sensation he felt when he first viewed the black-and-white schoolgirl photo -- the excitement of observing a painful punishment -- he strives for only the most realistic spanking portrayals.


Depending on the model's pain tolerance, spankers use everything from hands and belts to leather straps, paddles and canes. While other spanking-fetish producers create content that's more violent, if a web surfer is looking for presentations of playful pre-lovemaking spanks, Real Spankings is not the place. The company's massive electronic archives contain no actual sex outside of a few examples of girl-on-girl play and maybe some female masturbation followed by naughty-girl punishment by an authority figure. What the websites do show is lots and lots of red asses, which also run the scale of severity. Some of the models opt for only a light spanking and walk away with a pinkish behind. Others go for the gusto, and the spankers -- sometimes played by Masterson or his wife, other times by a heavy-hitter from a selective stable of "highly experienced spankers" -- whale on the paid model's ass for up to ten minutes with an implement that can produce welts, swelling, temporary marks and, in the most extreme cases, a dark purple, even brownish, hue. It wouldn't be much of a real spanking if the person being hit didn't experience actual pain, Masterson points out.


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VIEWERS were left outraged after a "spanking model" revealed she was forced to drop out of university because of the vile abuse she received from classmates.
Appearing on Channel 5's Student Sex Workers, web-cam girl Ella Hughes, 24, struggled to make ends meet when she was studying Law at Southampton Solent University.
The webcam girl recalls how she fell into the porn industry as a student because she "couldn't hold down an average job so decided to seek out alternative job options."
She explained: "It's such an intense course, there's not much time in between seminars and doing your assignments."
Ella started off in the industry as a web-cam model before she was approached by a porn company to become a "spanking model", which involved being spanked by other performers in online videos.
Although she was sceptical at first, Ella says her first ever video was the "best 20 minutes of my life" and it racked up over four million views online.
Since then, Ella has won awards for her work and was even named among the top three "spankies" in country.
However, Ella says she lost a lot of friends when they discovered she'd been working as a cam-girl while her classmates at university labelled her a "sl**".
She recalled: "I got a lot of hate, even though they were watching the videos. To watch it and then somebody based on their actions, I think, is so snide."
Even though Ella stopped going to her seminars to avoid rude comments, her classmates continued to send her abuse on social media.
What's more, Ella's tutors also told her that "porn and law don't mix" and urged her to drop the profession altogether.
Discussing her decision to drop out of uni, Ella said: "I feel like I was being crushed more and more.
"I decided for myself it wasn't the best environment to be in."
Despite dropping out of her course in Southampton, Ella then joined the Open University to complete her law degree which she now uses on an everyday basis to help understand her rights as a porn star.
Horrified viewers quickly took to Twitter as the show aired to express their sympathy for Ella who felt
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