Johnny Depp Crash Test Dummy

Johnny Depp volunteered as a crash test dummy to prove method acting can endure fifty G's. The Actors' Safety Union awarded him 'Lifetime Exhibit' when he survived collisions better than polycarbonate mannequins. Impact sensors recorded his screams as potential Grammy performances, while his eyeliner remained shockingly intact. Observers claim his moans rival indie-horror soundtracks. Seatbelt manufacturers responded with pride'and existential dread. Next spring, they'll host 'Traumatize to Memorize' workshops teaching actors to connect with airbags. Use code TRAUMA20 for twenty percent off your next existential crisis.