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Long before Bettie Page became synonymous with black-and-white bondage photos, John Willie, the publisher of Bizarre magazine, was traveling the world and photographing bound and gagged women in various states of undress. The new book Possibilities: The Photos of John Willie contains upward of 1,300 photos taken by Willie in Australia, New York and Los Angeles between 1937 and 1961. The Los Angeles–set photos — taken between 1957 and 1961 — span 200 pages, by far the largest part of the book.


Here's a selection of rare and never-before-seen photos — some of them taken in L.A. — by a man the book claims “invented” Western bondage photography.


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“My Daughters Found Me Bound and Gagged”


By: Dear Wendy


April 7, 2014

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New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here . If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com .
* Warning: the following column may be trigger-y for survivors of physical attacks and domestic crime and abuse.
It was nearly four when I heard the front door open. My children heard my “mmphs” and found me. I was determined to put up a strong front and tried to sound casual when they got the gag off, but it was an utterly humiliating ten minutes lying on that floor while they worked to get me untied. (They were very loving and comforting the whole time).
I am certainly proud of my girls, but my own pride is totally shot. I spent almost four hours thoroughly bound and gagged in a helpless heap. I couldn’t move, could barely lift my head. I must have looked ridiculous. I don’t want my friends and family to know how embarrassed I felt and still feel about being tied up, but if we go to that get-together it will be a topic of conversation. If I treat it casually, I will feel embarrassed; if I say I’d rather not talk about it, they will all know I’m embarrassed. Of course, if we don’t go, they will probably spend most of the time discussing my “terrible ordeal.” How should I handle Passover, and, more importantly, how do I regain some feeling of dignity? — All Tied Up
I am so sorry for what happened to you, and I’m sorry you feel embarrassed about something traumatic and scary that could have happened to anyone. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that your family or anyone who cares about you who might ask about how you’re feeling is only concerned for your well-being and would never think you have anything to be embarrassed about. You probably also don’t need me to tell you that having your power stripped from you in such a primal way and then having that lack of power displayed to your young daughters isn’t something you can easily process.
I suspect you probably have a lot of mixed emotions and “embarrassment” is kind of a catch-all phrase for those various reactions. I don’t mean to suggest you DON’T feel embarrassment, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t also feel anger, fear, sadness, relief, and maybe even a desire for revenge. Above all, I bet what you’d really like is to get the sense of power back that was stolen from you — perhaps the most valuable thing the burglars stole. And it’s probably difficult to feel empowered when you know others are thinking about you in a position of such victimization.
I suggest a few things: reporting the crime if you haven’t already and working with the police to give them as many details about the burglars as you can; talking to a professional who specializes in trauma; taking steps to make your home more secure; praising your daughters for their calm and loving response upon finding you in what was probably a very scary scene for them; praising yourself for raising such mature children; taking a self-defense course and/or doing an activity that empowers you physically and mentally (kick-boxing, for example, would be great). These are all things that will help you in the long-term feel good about how you handled/are handling the crime committed against you and that will also remind you that you have much to be proud about.
In regards to Passover with your family, I would think it would give the criminals more power to let them ruin what should be a happy get-together. If you really can’t stand the idea of facing anyone, then don’t go. But this is your family. These are people who love you and want to see that you’re ok. You have zero to feel embarrassed about, and showing up and letting your family see how well you are will only confirm that. If you don’t want to talk about what happened, a simple, “I’d rather focus on this special occasion of being together” should do the trick. I really don’t think people will hear something like that and immediately think you are simply too embarrassed to talk. What they will probably think is that it was a scary, traumatic event that you don’t feel up to re-counting at a family gathering, which is perfectly understandable and reasonable.
Bad things happen to people — even people with charmed lives. Unfortunately, that’s just the reality of the world we live in. You are not the first person who has lived through this kind of trauma and you won’t be the last. The good news about that is there are plenty of people who are trained and experienced in ways to help you. I hope you won’t let your pride keep you from getting that help, especially since you now have the power to help others through the actions you decide to take.
Follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram .
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com .
I’m not sure why but something seems “off” about this letter.
Why is there no mention of a husband besides “happily married”?
Maybe the husband was on a business trip. Maybe he was visiting family. Maybe he’s deployed. Maybe she’s just too embarrassed to tell him about it since she seems embarrassed by this whole thing. There are plenty of possible scenarios.
Was this voluntary? Nowhere does the author indicate who tied her up or whether it was consensual. Something here doesn’t pass the smell test.

lets_be_honest
April 7, 2014, 11:03 am

So I completely understand the feeling of embarrassment after people seeing you with no power or control, especially the people you want to show that you are empowered usually, like your daughters. Its surprising so many of you guys think this is fake because of that. I’m glad TA touched on why its a common reaction.
I wouldn’t say that embarrassment is unlikely, but I do think the relative levity is unusual.
It’s just the tone I take from it. I know most people disagree, and honestly, I wouldn’t have even express my opinion it if there weren’t two similarly written letters posted online last month about different but similar situations.
Sure, I get that and maybe I’m wrong but it just feels… okay, I’ll say it. It feels a little bit like a fantasy to me. Maybe I misread it but considering others have pointed out some other faults, I’m going to stand by it being not truthful. Sorry.
Actually that’s extremely common to be embarrassed when you’ve been dominated in front of your children. I’m not going to go into reasons for it because I don’t want to bring up anything if she hasn’t already thought of it, but seriously, very common and very real. I would be pretty surprised if she didn’t feel that way.

lets_be_honest
April 7, 2014, 11:14 am

Yes, especially because it was in front of her children! You want to be this strong, powerful example for your daughters and when you aren’t/can’t be? Yea, I totally get this.

applescruffs
April 7, 2014, 11:33 am

Okay… I can’t help it, it just feels really strange to me. I haven’t been in that kind of situation and maybe embarrassment would be one of the feelings.
For me it’s the age thing. She’s 28 but has daughters (she didn’t say stepdaughters) old enough to come home from school by themselves? And untie her? On their own? With no other adult? That’s fairly rare in this day and age.
That said… just have husband tell people in advance “listen she’s completely tripped out about it, do NOT bring it up, at ALL. If you can’t promise to do that and help spread the word, we can’t come.” Sure, someone might still bring it up, but it is likely to be less of a Big Topic.

lets_be_honest
April 7, 2014, 11:37 am

Kids are, what, 6 when they begin going to school and coming home on the bus? That puts her at 22 at the latest. Its certainly not unheard of to have kids sooner than 22 either, so that doesn’t strike me as off.
That plus how hard is it to untie somebody when you have free hands? Any well-adjusted, developmentally typical school age kid would be able to figure that out. And kids come home on their own all the time. That is just not unusual at all.
Most kids can’t tie their shoes at that age.

lets_be_honest
April 7, 2014, 12:14 pm

I’m pretty sure almost every single 6 year old could use scissors to untie something or just untie it, especially since, you know, a parent is there telling them how to.
Some kids know how to perform CPR at five years old. Why is this so unbelievable?
I think for me it was the anticipation that it would be a conversation point during Passover. I guess — and maybe it’s just me — if I knew a family member or close friend had recently suffered a traumatic experience like this, I would never bring it up cavalierly over a holiday dinner like it’s small talk. Who does that?
I mean, okay, maybe I don’t know enough about trauma to know if the fear of being embarrassed again is part of that. Notwithstanding, something about the letter beyond just that detail felt “off” to me.

lets_be_honest
April 7, 2014, 12:15 pm

I don’t think it’d be small talk, but I’m sure if a complete stranger were robbed and I knew about it, I’d say something to them like hope you’re doing well after that, sorry that happened.
My mom had a 10 year old at 28. So, age is irrelevant IMO. And I also think it’s highly plausible for a school bus to drop kids off in front of the house or on a corner and the kids be expected to let them selves in, starting from when ever you start riding the bus.
She could have stepdaughters but consider them her own kids. I originally thought it was weird with the fact that she was 28 with daughters coming home by themselves too, but sometimes people still call their stepchildren their daughters and sons.
I’m 28 and my son turned 15 last week. It’s possible.
Frankly, I think something went amiss with her sex life and she was accidentally left like that and her children found her. It’s the home invasion scenario that I don’t buy.
It just sounds too much like sex fantasy gone wrong.
If this is real you just made it horribly worse. If it’s fake, then you are not losing anything by keeping you your mouth shut. Good job making the world an ugly place.
Why would Wendy publish this if she thought it was real?
Why would Wendy publish this if she thought it was fake?
I’d think in a situation like this, she have the sensibility to answer the query privately.
Maybe she believes her readership to be compassionate people who can add good advice to hers. Good job disproving that, by the way.
From what Wendy wrote in response; it lacks the passion and heartfelt tone of her normal responses. She is usually more “invested” in the LW’s situation.
What the hell does that even mean??? She wrote out a heartfelt, meaningful response. She gave the LW sympathy and gave her some ideas for how to handle the situation. That’s what she does for every LW (unless it’s Facepalm Friday when all bets are off).
Why would a LW include the detail in the second line about her being “very attractive” ? It sounds like a man wrote this not a woman.
Joanna, if anyone sounds like a troll it’s you. What sort of sick enjoyment are you getting from dissecting this letter and tearing the LW apart? WTF. LET IT GO.
I’m going to stand by what I said. If Wendy thought this letter had even an ounce of credibility, she would not have published it.

lets_be_honest
April 7, 2014, 12:38 pm

Are you saying Wendy deliberately posted a fake letter?
LBH, yes I am. She does this every once in a while so that we as a community call out the trolls and not her. She would lose a lot of credibility if she was the one who called out trolls.
Sorry if I believe Wendy is smarter than all of you take her to be.
Wendy responded above. What you’re saying makes no sense. Honestly it is pretty shitty of you to break down this one of all letters. Fake or not, I make it a point to show compassion to any and everyone who may be victims of assault. I don’t care it it makes me look gullible. I am so glad that Wendy sees it the same way. Someone will likely benefit from this advice, whether it be this LW or a reader.

lets_be_honest
April 7, 2014, 12:44 pm

Ohhhhh, that explains it!
Thanks for letting us all in on your and Wendy’s secret!
p.s. Wendy, I think you are really smart! We all do! Not just joanna.

bittergaymark
April 7, 2014, 12:49 pm

Wow. This is a rather nasty and distasteful tangent. Congratulations, joanna… I am simply aghast!!
Not an easy task to leave BGM aghast!
This is pretty pathetic. First of all, I believed this to be a real letter and responded with compassion. I was unaware a similar letter was published on another advice site. But, so what?
As to the idea that I should not have published this letter if I thought it was real, that makes no sense. Why would I NOT publish this when I have published letters from rape survivors and people who have been domestically abused and people who have suffered the death of loved ones and other terrible incidents? I believe, for the most part, that the community of DW readers can add to my advice with their various experiences and viewpoints. And my feeling about posting something that MAY be fake is this: maybe it isn’t. And maybe it is but for one of the several thousand people who will read this column, this is act
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