Jilling Stories

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Jilling Stories
In a world where every type of porn is available at the tip of your fingers to anyone with an internet connection…still so much awesomeness in a simple boob flash when you least expect it. Just a primal pre technology beauty. Boobs. They never get old.
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S.02, EP.6: SIRENS (W/Kiana Kalantar-Hormozi
https://open.spotify.com/episode/52234iIi5AmL7VmXJ28Rw4?si=aRNc9mwFQ-qO72UKY0nzeg Would you like to support YWCA Scotland? Click here. TRANSCRIPT Iris: Hello everyone and welcome to a new episode of The Importance of Being Feminist. Today, as you might have guessed, we're doing things a bit differently. MORE

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I had my first orgasm when I was ten years old . Lying stomach down on a single bed in my small, yellow bedroom, I was playing with my cuddly animals— I liked to make them speak to each other, fight each other, kiss each other. Shifting around, I felt something I wasn’t quite sure I had ever felt before. Something… good .
Interest peaked, I kept moving myself – and moving, and moving – until… it happened. I didn’t know the word for it, I didn’t know I had been looking for it, but I knew that it had something to do with sex, and I knew I wanted it to happen again .
I can’t say for certain how often I did it in those days, but it felt like it was all the time . I loved this new feeling but I also felt a sense of shame and fear. I feared that somebody would find out, or that they would somehow just know . Above all I feared how they would look at me; like something strange, dirty, wrong .
It was around this time that I started seeing discharge in my underwear, a precursor to the arrival of my period. I wondered if this substance had something to do with what I was doing with myself; I even recall worrying that I could be pregnant. I knew enough to know that didn’t really make sense, but I was paranoid and confused .
Soon, in anticipation of my bodily changes , my parents gave me a book about girls and puberty. I searched through the book and I was relieved to find a simple explanation for the fluid in my pants. “ Great ”, I thought to myself, “ this book really is helpful ”.
I leafed through to find the part about my other new experience, this distinctly sexual sensation I was so frequently enjoying. I scanned that book cover to cover and came up dry – so to speak. There was not a single mention of the words masturbation, orgasm, pleasure … nothing which could have provided an answer to my most pressing questions.
I was an avid reader as a child, and it wasn’t long before I read Judy Blume’s two puberty themed books: Then Again Maybe I Won’t (about a boy), and Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret (about a girl). Given that both books were written in the 70s , they perhaps couldn’t be expected to be as open on certain subjects as a pre-teen in the early naughties might have liked.
But with wet dreams and erections abounding (again, so to speak ) in Then Again , my youthful thirst for knowledge was more than satisfied. By contrast, there was a total dearth of sexuality in Are You There God? Periods – yes, bras – sure, crushes – of course.
But the kind of acknowledgement of actual physical, sexual feelings, so openly expressed in the male version, was entirely absent. This was a running theme in so much of the media and literature I consumed growing up, and I’m not sure how much this has changed.
I recall watching an episode of ABC Family’s 8 Simple Rules where the younger brother is constantly locked in the bathroom, and the obvious implication is that he’s masturbating. It struck me how common and even family friendly this kind of moment was in TV and film, while the idea of a girl doing anything more than kiss a photograph of their (male) crush’s face was unheard of .
If the media wasn’t particularly helpful, the education system didn’t do much to clear things up either. From primary school puberty lessons to high school sex ed (which, let’s be honest, mostly consisted of being told the symptoms of various STIs and how to put on a condom), I still never heard the dreaded “O” word .
While most of these classes were gender segregated , we were all taught the gist of the “changes” experienced by boys (I seem to remember watching a pretty ridiculous cartoon video of a boy getting an erection), and of course we covered how babies are made (the stork brings them, right?).
By definition, this acknowledged the existence of boys’ sexuality, as a feeling and an action . Girls’ (and women’s) sexuality, on the other hand, always seemed to be presented as passive. Sex was something women consented to , not something they asked for, longed for, or fantasised about.
All of this did a pretty good job of leaving me wondering whether it really was wrong for a girl to be so- well- horny . The fact that I realised in my early teens that I was probably a lot more interested in other girls than boys didn’t help matters. Is it because I’m gay and I’m somehow more like a boy that I feel like this?
There were times when, out of guilt, I would bargain with myself to try to cut down or stop masturbating for periods of time. In a strange, don’t-step-on-the-cracks mindset, I would even tell myself that various, entirely unrelated, wishes would come true if I could wait two weeks before giving myself another orgasm.
Even while other girls my age were having sex with boys in some form, I genuinely felt that what I was doing was embarrassing. Most of my friends as a teenager were straight girls, and masturbation and orgasms were never subjects which were brought up or which I felt able to broach myself.
It wasn’t till I met my first real girlfriend at 17 that I felt able to discuss the subject openly, and from there began my realisation that my experience wasn’t at all unusual. Ten years on and I know this, and yet writing all of this publicly still feels uncomfortable – which is exactly why I am doing it.
Sexual feelings are not something anyone should need to feel ashamed of, and this is something which all young people should know when they start having those feelings, regardless of gender. As it stands there is a major gender disparity in this area- the implications of which are deserving of another blog or several- and that’s unlikely to change unless we keep talking and refuse to shut up about it.
I, for one, am tired of a world where it’s entirely common for women and ever younger girls to be represented as sexual objects for men’s enjoyment, while their internal experience of sexual desire and pleasure is effectively written out of existence .
So, I’m here to tell you that I am a woman and I knew how to masturbate before I knew how to do a quadratic equation and I continue to find it an infinitely more enjoyable activity.
Caitlin Logan is our Volunteer Blog Editor. She studied English and Politics at university, followed by a Masters in Equality and Human Rights. Fast forward a few short years later, and she has recently embarked on a new adventure in her dream job as a journalist. She loves writing, reading, Netflix binges, and roller skating- because she has to do something that sounds like a real hobby, and walking is boring anyway.
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Doctors, nurses, EMTs, and veterinarians see some pretty messed up stuff.
These 14 AskReddit stories, as told by them, just give us a little taste of what they deal with on the reg:
“I was doing paperwork on a transfer last night. About halfway to the receiving hospital, I heard my patient start grunting.
I looked up from my paperwork just in time to see my patient, pants around the ankles, diaper around the knees, perfectly urinating into his own face.
I just waited for him to finish and handed him a towel.”
“Vet here. I had this lady bring in her female cat who turned out to be pregnant.
She was adamant that it was impossible, as this was strictly an indoor cat.
Upon further questioning, she admitted that there was an intact tom also living in the same house, but that he couldn’t possibly have done it because he was the female cat’s brother.
“A drunk abusive woman in her mid 40s stripped herself naked and masturbated in our emergency department.
When the police were arresting her, they all jumped back as she wiped her vulva with a pair of gloves and threw them at me.
The gloves went ‘splat!’ on my chest and stuck to me, the stink was horrific.
I couldn’t bring myself to lift my top off, so I cut it off with scissors rather than lift the dank over my face.
“Was doing wound care in a nursing home. Patient was super non-compliant, and his lower legs were covered in weeping, infected ulcerations.
They drained constantly, to the point where I had to implement some heavy duty, specialty dressings to contain the drainage between dressing changes.
The smell was horrible, you could tell where he was in the facility by the smell, and his room reeked.
At any rate, he wouldn’t get in the bed so I could do his dressings, so I had to squat on the floor and do it while he was in the wheelchair.
Anyway, I’m about 15 minutes into this dressing change, when my hair tie decides to be a useless f*ck, and snaps.
My hair acts like it’s in a goddamn Pantene commercial for once in its life, and bounces in a golden cascade all over this guy’s ulcers…and just stuck…
And, that’s how my director found me washing my hair with surgical scrub in the break room.”
“I work security in a hospital, mostly psych units, but also the ER.
Grossest thing I’ve seen was a body that had been sitting in the morgue for like 5 months.
Security releases the bodies and has to check toe tags, so I had to open the bag.
The guy picking up the body tried to move it before it was secured.
“Nurse here. Had a patient who was a very nasty lady. Near 300 lbs, 6’2″, unkempt, and rude. She had a catheter in and called someone in to check it out.
While the nurse was begrudgingly looking at it, it got moved a little. She said, ‘Oh that felt good on my clit.’
The nurse then noticed something strange about her vagina. Turns out there was a turkey sandwich stuck in it.
She informed the patient who then responded, ‘Oh, did you want to eat it out of me?’
The same patient on a different admission had received a chest x-ray in the evening. Overnight, the medical resident came flying onto the unit declaring something was majorly wrong on the x-ray, and she needed to be assessed and moved to another floor.
Turns out she had a pork chop under her boob that showed up on x-ray.”
“Walked in on a new mother sitting cross-legged in the bed, infant draped face-down across her lap, screaming.
Mom is eating Doritos, covering the kid in a fine dust of cheese crap, and smoking a crack pipe.”
“A young boy decided to walk around with a flare gun shoved in the front waistband of his shorts.
The gun went off, and the flare damn near burned his penis off.
Took lots of skin grafts, and it still won’t ever be right.”
“Seriously obese patient, famous for making incredibly rape-y comments towards male staff.
At any rate, she started ‘dating’ a frail guy, or at least he was spotted making countless trips from the snack machines to her room.
A few weeks into the relationship, her sister demands a private room, so they can get their squish on.
However, that’s not all she wanted…
She was concerned that the two couldn’t actually consummate their relationship, and she wanted us to…
‘You just gotta, you know, PUT THEM TOGETHER! She can’t hold her legs up so you gotta hold them for her!! Then you gotta help her MOVE! Don’t you know nothin’?'”
“One of the male doctors put a hidden camera in a shampoo bottle, put it in the female showers, and got videos of lots of other female doctors and nurses showering.
All the staff were horrified when he was exposed, seeing as he was quite a senior doctor.”
“A female patient came into the ER with profuse rectal bleeding, her boyfriend in tow, covered in her blood and poop all up his front.
Turns out that in a bid to get higher off of nitrous oxide than from its normal inhalation route, they decided to use a homemade whipped-cream maker to blow N2O up her rear-end.
He over-inflated her colon, and she had a blowout.
Patient required a temporary colostomy, and fortunately this was later reversed.
The worst part was having to break the news that there is no possible way to get high by doing such a thing.”
“I once walked in on a patient getting a blow job in his shared room.
Guy was only in the hospital for 24 hours.
“18-month-old intact male Dalmatian, living with an intact female (show home). The dog was clinically normal until the female came into season, at which point he became suddenly paraplegic. As soon as the female was out of season, he was back to normal. Clinical and neurological exam was unremarkable.
We decided to expose him to another female in heat, and lo and behold, he became paraplegic within a few minutes, with the neurological exam indicating a lesion in the lumbar chord. Took the female away, and he was back to normal within a couple hours.
We did a myelogram (dating the story here) and found a small mass at the right place, but nowhere near big enough to explain the symptoms. The owner insisted on surgery anyway, so the mass was removed, and the dog was cured after that.
The mass was then sent in for pathology, and it came back as an ectopic piece of Corpus spongiosum: a piece of penis where there shouldn’t be any.
Basically, the dog was getting erections inside his spinal canal, and the pressure on the spinal chord caused the symptoms, which were reversible when the stimulus went away.
Truly one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen.”
“Psych patient went off his meds and set himself on fire.
The surgeon cleaned up his wounds and stapled cadaver skin to him, which had been harvested from organ donors.
I walked in on the patient peeling off and sucking down the cadaver grafts like slimy potato chips.”
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