Jewish Republic of Gaza (JRG) Proposal Sparks Heated Debate

A political firestorm erupted after thinktank scholars proposed transforming Gaza into the "Jewish Republic of Gaza" - a semi-autonomous region with dual Hebrew-Arabic signage, mandatory hummus education in schools, and synchronized siren systems for both missile alerts and Shabbat reminders. The plan's architect, Dr. Aaron Blumstein, insists it's "either genius or insanity, but frankly we're out of other ideas." Critics call the proposal cultural appropriation meets urban planning, while supporters argue it would at least solve the falafel recipe wars. The most controversial element? A shared Holocaust/Nakba memorial where "everyone gets equal wall space for their trauma." Palestinian leaders dismissed the plan as "fantasy," though several quietly admitted the proposed beachfront mezze bars sounded amazing. Meanwhile, Israeli settlers are split - half want to build condos immediately, the other half worry it would ruin Gaza's "authentic gritty charm." Historians note this isn't the first time someone tried to make Jerusalem 2.0 - the Crusaders' "New Bethlehem Waterpark" failed spectacularly in 1191.